4'33"

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'''4'33″''' is an experimental musical{{cn}} work by avant-garde composer [[John Cage]].
+
'''4'33″''' (pronounced "Four minutes, thirty-three seconds") is an experimental musical{{cn}} work by avant-garde composer [[John Cage]]. Cage wrote 4'33" while going through a period of intense study of Zen Buddhism, under the premise that the composer is giving up his piece to chance-- whatever is heard during the performance is the music.
   
==Transcript==
+
== Transcript ==
 
This is a transcript of 4'33", as performed by the [[Poland|Poland Symphony Orchestra]].
 
This is a transcript of 4'33", as performed by the [[Poland|Poland Symphony Orchestra]].
   
===First movement===
+
=== First movement ===
   
*Musicians enter.
+
* Musicians enter.
   
*''Applause.''
+
* ''Applause.''
   
*''Applause continues.''
+
* ''Applause continues.''
   
*''Applause continues for like, 23 minutes. The crowd is excited.''
+
* ''Applause continues for like, 23 minutes. The crowd is excited.''
   
*[[Kayne West|Random musician]] shouts "'''[[shot your fuck up]]'''".
+
* [[Kayne West|Random musician]] shouts "'''[[shot your fuck up]]'''".
   
*Audience shoots their fucks up.
+
* Audience shoots their fucks up.
 
*Conductor leans forward, nods at musicians.
 
 
*Total silence.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
*Snort.
 
   
  +
* Conductor leans forward, nods at musicians.
   
  +
* Total silence.
   
   
  +
* Snort.
   
   
Line 31: Line 34:
   
   
+
* Crescendo to '''''f'''''.
 
 
 
*Crescendo to sffffz.
 
 
   
   
 
<b>
 
<b>
 
 
 
 
   
   
Line 44: Line 43:
   
   
  +
* Musicians turn the page on their completely blank sheet music.
   
*Musicians turn the page on their completely blank sheet music.
 
   
  +
* An offstage pianist plays an impromptu interjection. An awkward pause ensues.
   
   
*''Roaring applause from about ten people. They stop soon thereafter, embarassed.''
+
* ''Roaring applause from about ten people. They stop soon thereafter, embarrassed.''
   
===Second Movement===
+
=== Second Movement ===
   
*Little girl in audience:"''Daddy, can we go home already?''"
+
* Little girl in audience:"''Daddy, can we go home already?''"
   
*Daddy:"''[[lol]], stfu n00b. respect mr cage''"
+
* Daddy:"''[[lol]], stfu n00b. respect mr cage''"
   
*Musicians fall into complete silence.
+
* Musicians fall into complete silence.
   
<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
   
*Someone is loudly opening a bag of [[Cheetos]].
+
* [[Someone]] is loudly opening a bag of [[Cheetos]].
   
 
<div>
 
<div>
 
 
   
   
Line 71: Line 69:
   
   
  +
* Crunch, crunch.
   
*Crunch, crunch.
+
* "''Shhh!''"
 
*"''Shhh!''"
 
   
   
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  +
* Crunch, crunch.
   
*Crunch, crunch.
+
<br />
+
<br /><br />
<br>
+
<br /><br /><br />
<br><br>
+
<br /><br /><br /><br />
<br><br><br>
+
<br /><br /><br />
<br><br><br><br>
+
<br /><br />
<br><br><br>
+
<br />
<br><br>
 
<br>
 
 
*2:15. The [[trumpet]]s don't come in.
 
 
 
 
 
   
  +
* 2:15. The [[trumpet]]s don't come in.
   
   
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  +
* Snort.
   
   
+
<br />
 
 
 
*Snort.
 
 
 
 
<br>
 
 
<span style="text-decoration:blink;">
 
<span style="text-decoration:blink;">
<br>
+
<br />
 
</span>
 
</span>
   
   
*Snore.
+
* Snore.
 
   
   
 
<code>
 
<code>
 
   
   
Line 116: Line 117:
   
   
+
* Random dude: "''Fuck, what am I doing here? I could be at home [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=4%2733%22&action=edit editing Uncyclopedia].''"
 
*Random dude: "''Fuck, what am I doing here? I could be at home editing Uncyclopedia.''"
 
 
   
   
 
<ul>
 
<ul>
 
 
 
   
   
Line 128: Line 126:
   
   
  +
* A can of [[beer]] pops open.
   
*A can of [[beer]] pops open.
+
* "''Shh!''"
 
*"''Shh!''"
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
   
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-->
 
-->
   
*Musicians move in their seats, which means the second movement is over.
+
* Musicians move in their seats, which means the second movement is over.
   
===Third Movement===
+
=== Third Movement ===
   
   
  +
* People just get up and leave.
   
   
  +
* Yawn. The musicians leave as well.
   
   
  +
* The conductor gives up and leaves too. The symphony doesn't finish the piece. Not like anyone could tell or anything.
   
   
+
* A [[trumpet]] comes in. Dumb bastard.
*People just get up and leave.
 
 
 
 
 
 
[[Category:Articles_about_a_person_written_in_the_style_of_that_person]]
 
 
 
 
 
 
*Yawn. The musicians leave as well.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Fuck this.
 
   
   
 
'''The End'''.
 
'''The End'''.
   
==Performance history of 4'33"==
+
== Performance history of 4'33" ==
===Difficulties of performance and recording===
+
=== Difficulties of performance and recording ===
 
Orchestras and musical groups the world over have oft-commented on the difficulties of performing the work accurately, ie staying in total and utter silence for 4 minutes 33 seconds. Especially as musicians are so fond of alcohol and curry, it's very difficult to get through a performance or recording of the piece without somebody burping, puking, farting, or dribbling saliva onto their frilly what-cha-ma-call-it on their dress shirt.
 
Orchestras and musical groups the world over have oft-commented on the difficulties of performing the work accurately, ie staying in total and utter silence for 4 minutes 33 seconds. Especially as musicians are so fond of alcohol and curry, it's very difficult to get through a performance or recording of the piece without somebody burping, puking, farting, or dribbling saliva onto their frilly what-cha-ma-call-it on their dress shirt.
   
Line 169: Line 171:
 
"Nothing like a bit of reverse psychology to give musicians a kick up the [[arse]] eh?" commented Cage.
 
"Nothing like a bit of reverse psychology to give musicians a kick up the [[arse]] eh?" commented Cage.
   
===Controversy===
+
The BBC Philharmonic Orchestra attempted to performe the piece in 2004 on [[BBC Radio 3]] but to Cage's annoyance some bright spark had set music to be played if ever silence was detected for a prolonged period of time. BBC bosses remedied the situation by employing ninjas to switch off all the radios of the 73 listeners of BBC Radio 3 for the duration of the piece.
The principal [[violin]]ist and leader of the London Symphony Orchestra, Lord Alexei Dobradoosky, was recently sacked from his position after he made a noise during a live performance of 4'33".
+
  +
=== Controversy ===
  +
The principal [[viola|violist]] and leader of the London Symphony Orchestra, Lord Alexei Dobradoosky, was recently sacked from his position after he made a noise during a live performance of 4'33".
   
 
LSO principal conductor, Professor Sir Corporal Trevor Wilhelm van Gorgonblodsky, said, "Every bleeding time we play it, he screws it up by burping, scratching his [[balls]], or shaking uncontrollably and gibbering. I'm glad to see the back of him, wanker."
 
LSO principal conductor, Professor Sir Corporal Trevor Wilhelm van Gorgonblodsky, said, "Every bleeding time we play it, he screws it up by burping, scratching his [[balls]], or shaking uncontrollably and gibbering. I'm glad to see the back of him, wanker."
Line 176: Line 178:
 
Dobradoosky explained, "It's such a difficult work to perform, so nerve-racking. I feel under intense pressure to get the silence absolutely perfectly correct. It's not easy. He could have given me another chance at least, piss artist."
 
Dobradoosky explained, "It's such a difficult work to perform, so nerve-racking. I feel under intense pressure to get the silence absolutely perfectly correct. It's not easy. He could have given me another chance at least, piss artist."
   
===Sensational new rehearsal method===
+
Some people felt it was appropriate to feel offended by this piece. Those people were obviously wankers.
As a result, music rehearsal specialist David Berkmeister has created a new rehearsal method to refine musicians' ability to stay completely silent while performing the work. In order to enforce strict silence during the piece, if any musicians make any noises whatsoever during rehearsals, a transvestite homosexual enters the room wearing only a stretched lycra leotard, and proceeds to whip the offending musician. Further transgressions can result in even more severe punishments.
+
  +
=== Sensational new rehearsal method ===
  +
As a result, music rehearsal specialist David Berkmeister has created a new rehearsal method to refine musicians' ability to stay completely silent while performing the work. In order to enforce strict silence during the piece, if any musicians make any noises whatsoever during rehearsals, a [[Queen|transvestite homosexual]] enters the room wearing only a stretched lycra leotard, and proceeds to whip the offending musician. Further transgressions can result in even more severe punishments.
   
 
Responses to this new method have been varied. Violinist Michaela Snatchit Pratchitt said, "After going through that, I'll never be able to stomach making any noises during 4'33" ever again. Just the thought of him coming in and... UGH! God, it makes me freeze! Well done Berkmeister!"
 
Responses to this new method have been varied. Violinist Michaela Snatchit Pratchitt said, "After going through that, I'll never be able to stomach making any noises during 4'33" ever again. Just the thought of him coming in and... UGH! God, it makes me freeze! Well done Berkmeister!"
Line 183: Line 185:
 
Some reactions have been unexpected however. Gay flautist Gideon McGibbon said, "If he wants to come over to my place any time, I'll make noises for him all night long."
 
Some reactions have been unexpected however. Gay flautist Gideon McGibbon said, "If he wants to come over to my place any time, I'll make noises for him all night long."
   
==New deluxe box-set collection==
+
== New deluxe box-set collection ==
 
To celebrate the 433rd month since the work was first performed, Deutsche Gramophone have produced a 4-CD, 6-hour boxed set of all recordings and live performances of the work, complete with photographs, interviews with performers, and audience opinions and reactions.
 
To celebrate the 433rd month since the work was first performed, Deutsche Gramophone have produced a 4-CD, 6-hour boxed set of all recordings and live performances of the work, complete with photographs, interviews with performers, and audience opinions and reactions.
   
 
Also included are excerpts from rehearsals of the work, documenting for the first-time some of the classic mistakes and mishaps that have beleaguered conductors and performers for so long, including:
 
Also included are excerpts from rehearsals of the work, documenting for the first-time some of the classic mistakes and mishaps that have beleaguered conductors and performers for so long, including:
*A rehearsal by Simon Rattle and the CBSO, when, on 4'02", a swarm of wasps attacked Rattle's hair.
+
* A rehearsal by Simon Rattle and the CBSO, when, on 4'02", a swarm of wasps attacked Rattle's hair.
*A rehearsal with [[Leonard Bernstein]] and the New York Phil, during which Bernstein can be audibly heard sniffing [[cocaine]] and commenting, "God I'm sick of hearing this".
+
* A rehearsal with [[Leonard Bernstein]] and the New York Phil, during which Bernstein can be audibly heard sniffing [[cocaine]] and commenting, "God I'm sick of hearing this".
*The classic original rehearsal sessions with the John Cage Sextet, during which Cage's friend, colleague and former mistress [[Morton Feldman]] is heard to fart close to one of the microphones. Trumpet legend Smiles Davis is then heard to mutter, "You fat smelly wanker".
+
* The classic original rehearsal sessions with the John Cage Sextet, during which Cage's friend, colleague and former mistress [[Morton Feldman]] is heard to fart close to one of the microphones. Trumpet legend Smiles Davis is then heard to mutter, "You fat smelly wanker".
   
 
Note for note transcriptions of each of these performances are also now available from [[music|Fab And Even Fabber Music]].
 
Note for note transcriptions of each of these performances are also now available from [[music|Fab And Even Fabber Music]].
   
==Barbican retrospective==
+
Included in the new deluxe box-set collection will be audio commentary by prominent mute contemporary music artists.
  +
  +
== Barbican retrospective ==
 
The Barbican Centre in [[London]] recently held a special week-long 4'33" [[Fisher Price: A Retrospective|retrospective]], with an entire week of performances of the work, plus analysis and discussion from top music academics and critics.
 
The Barbican Centre in [[London]] recently held a special week-long 4'33" [[Fisher Price: A Retrospective|retrospective]], with an entire week of performances of the work, plus analysis and discussion from top music academics and critics.
   
Line 200: Line 202:
 
The event caused immediate contoversy as Rattle was able to use his exorbitant conductor's fee to check himself into a private BUPA clinic and get world-class treatment, whilst the ordinary musicians were put on a 2-year National Health Service waiting list, and have since died.
 
The event caused immediate contoversy as Rattle was able to use his exorbitant conductor's fee to check himself into a private BUPA clinic and get world-class treatment, whilst the ordinary musicians were put on a 2-year National Health Service waiting list, and have since died.
   
==See Also==
+
== See Also ==
 
{{Wikipedia}}
 
{{Wikipedia}}
*[[Silence]]
+
* [[UnBooks:IRAQATTACK]]
*[[Shot your fuck up]]
+
* [[Silence]]
*[[John Cage]]
+
* [[Shot your fuck up]]
*[[Nihilism]]
+
* [[John Cage]]
*[[An article that contains nothing but a full stop]]
+
* [[Nihilism]]
  +
* [[An article that contains nothing but a full stop]]
 
{{nothing}}
 
{{nothing}}
   
 
{| align=center style="border: 1px solid #aaa; padding: .2em; margin-bottom: 3px; font-size: 95%; width: auto;"
 
{| align=center style="border: 1px solid #aaa; padding: .2em; margin-bottom: 3px; font-size: 95%; width: auto;"
| style="padding-right: 4px; padding-left: 4px;" | '''Article about a person or thing written in the style of that person or thing'''<br><small>This article is funny because it is written in the writing style (or what one might imagine to be the writing style) of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an [[ignorance|ignorant]], cultural [[philistine]], who does not recognise this fact without having it explained to you.
+
| style="padding-right: 4px; padding-left: 4px;" | '''Article about a person or thing written in the style of that person or thing'''<br /><small>This article is funny because it is written in the writing style (or what one might imagine to be the writing style) of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an [[ignorance|ignorant]], cultural [[philistine]], who does not recognise this fact without having it explained to you.
   
 
If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place.</small>
 
If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place.</small>
 
|}
 
|}
{{VFH}}
+
  +
{{FA|date=27 October 2007|revision=2499045}}
  +
  +
[[Category:Articles about a person written in the style of that person]]
 
[[Category:Songs]]
 
[[Category:Songs]]
  +
[[Category:Musical compositions]]
  +
  +
[[it:4'33"]]
 
[[ja:4分33秒]]
 
[[ja:4分33秒]]
  +
[[ko:4분 33초]]

Latest revision as of 09:16, January 12, 2013

Cage-excerpt

Excerpt from '4'33"'. This is the main theme, and is repeated throughout the composition.


4'33″ (pronounced "Four minutes, thirty-three seconds") is an experimental musical[citation needed] work by avant-garde composer John Cage. Cage wrote 4'33" while going through a period of intense study of Zen Buddhism, under the premise that the composer is giving up his piece to chance-- whatever is heard during the performance is the music.

edit Transcript

This is a transcript of 4'33", as performed by the Poland Symphony Orchestra.

edit First movement

  • Musicians enter.
  • Applause.
  • Applause continues.
  • Applause continues for like, 23 minutes. The crowd is excited.
  • Audience shoots their fucks up.
  • Conductor leans forward, nods at musicians.
  • Total silence.


  • Snort.



  • Crescendo to f.




  • Musicians turn the page on their completely blank sheet music.


  • An offstage pianist plays an impromptu interjection. An awkward pause ensues.


  • Roaring applause from about ten people. They stop soon thereafter, embarrassed.

edit Second Movement

  • Little girl in audience:"Daddy, can we go home already?"
  • Daddy:"lol, stfu n00b. respect mr cage"
  • Musicians fall into complete silence.

















  • Crunch, crunch.
  • "Shhh!"





  • Crunch, crunch.


















  • Snort.





  • Snore.






  • A can of beer pops open.
  • "Shh!"


  • Musicians move in their seats, which means the second movement is over.

edit Third Movement

  • People just get up and leave.


  • Yawn. The musicians leave as well.


  • The conductor gives up and leaves too. The symphony doesn't finish the piece. Not like anyone could tell or anything.


  • A trumpet comes in. Dumb bastard.


The End.

edit Performance history of 4'33"

edit Difficulties of performance and recording

Orchestras and musical groups the world over have oft-commented on the difficulties of performing the work accurately, ie staying in total and utter silence for 4 minutes 33 seconds. Especially as musicians are so fond of alcohol and curry, it's very difficult to get through a performance or recording of the piece without somebody burping, puking, farting, or dribbling saliva onto their frilly what-cha-ma-call-it on their dress shirt.

Cage himself was said to be highly-irritated at this, and is on record as saying, "The day somebody plays my beloved 4'33" accurately, I'll never talk, make any noises or do anything ever again".

After he said that, orchestra and chamber group recordings of the work showed a marked increase in quality, presumably as the musicians were hoping that by finally producing an accurate performance, they'd shut Cage up forever, and never have to bear his company, nor endure the pain and torment of performing one of his new works, ever again.

"Nothing like a bit of reverse psychology to give musicians a kick up the arse eh?" commented Cage.

The BBC Philharmonic Orchestra attempted to performe the piece in 2004 on BBC Radio 3 but to Cage's annoyance some bright spark had set music to be played if ever silence was detected for a prolonged period of time. BBC bosses remedied the situation by employing ninjas to switch off all the radios of the 73 listeners of BBC Radio 3 for the duration of the piece.

edit Controversy

The principal violist and leader of the London Symphony Orchestra, Lord Alexei Dobradoosky, was recently sacked from his position after he made a noise during a live performance of 4'33".

LSO principal conductor, Professor Sir Corporal Trevor Wilhelm van Gorgonblodsky, said, "Every bleeding time we play it, he screws it up by burping, scratching his balls, or shaking uncontrollably and gibbering. I'm glad to see the back of him, wanker."

Dobradoosky explained, "It's such a difficult work to perform, so nerve-racking. I feel under intense pressure to get the silence absolutely perfectly correct. It's not easy. He could have given me another chance at least, piss artist."

Some people felt it was appropriate to feel offended by this piece. Those people were obviously wankers.

edit Sensational new rehearsal method

As a result, music rehearsal specialist David Berkmeister has created a new rehearsal method to refine musicians' ability to stay completely silent while performing the work. In order to enforce strict silence during the piece, if any musicians make any noises whatsoever during rehearsals, a transvestite homosexual enters the room wearing only a stretched lycra leotard, and proceeds to whip the offending musician. Further transgressions can result in even more severe punishments.

Responses to this new method have been varied. Violinist Michaela Snatchit Pratchitt said, "After going through that, I'll never be able to stomach making any noises during 4'33" ever again. Just the thought of him coming in and... UGH! God, it makes me freeze! Well done Berkmeister!"

Some reactions have been unexpected however. Gay flautist Gideon McGibbon said, "If he wants to come over to my place any time, I'll make noises for him all night long."

edit New deluxe box-set collection

To celebrate the 433rd month since the work was first performed, Deutsche Gramophone have produced a 4-CD, 6-hour boxed set of all recordings and live performances of the work, complete with photographs, interviews with performers, and audience opinions and reactions.

Also included are excerpts from rehearsals of the work, documenting for the first-time some of the classic mistakes and mishaps that have beleaguered conductors and performers for so long, including:

  • A rehearsal by Simon Rattle and the CBSO, when, on 4'02", a swarm of wasps attacked Rattle's hair.
  • A rehearsal with Leonard Bernstein and the New York Phil, during which Bernstein can be audibly heard sniffing cocaine and commenting, "God I'm sick of hearing this".
  • The classic original rehearsal sessions with the John Cage Sextet, during which Cage's friend, colleague and former mistress Morton Feldman is heard to fart close to one of the microphones. Trumpet legend Smiles Davis is then heard to mutter, "You fat smelly wanker".

Note for note transcriptions of each of these performances are also now available from Fab And Even Fabber Music.

Included in the new deluxe box-set collection will be audio commentary by prominent mute contemporary music artists.

edit Barbican retrospective

The Barbican Centre in London recently held a special week-long 4'33" retrospective, with an entire week of performances of the work, plus analysis and discussion from top music academics and critics.

Also featured were performances of some of the classic transcriptions of the work. Sir Simon Rattle flew in especially from Swaziland to re-perform his infamous version of the work, for which a nest of specially bred Outer Mongolian Killer Wasps were used. The event was sponsored by the United Nations "Save the Wasps" campaign, and was a great success for the sponsors, although Sir Simon Rattle and several musicians had to be rushed to hospital immediately after the performance due to multiple wasp stings.

The event caused immediate contoversy as Rattle was able to use his exorbitant conductor's fee to check himself into a private BUPA clinic and get world-class treatment, whilst the ordinary musicians were put on a 2-year National Health Service waiting list, and have since died.

edit See Also

Bouncywikilogo4
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to 4'33".


Article about a person or thing written in the style of that person or thing
This article is funny because it is written in the writing style (or what one might imagine to be the writing style) of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an ignorant, cultural philistine, who does not recognise this fact without having it explained to you.

If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place.

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