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| 2009 WBA Confederations Bloodbath World Cup
|
|
| Teams
| 8
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| Host
| South Africa
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| Champions
|  Mexico
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| Matches Played
| 16
|
| Kills Scored
| Who Cares
|
| Attendance
| Who Cares
|
| Total Deaths
| Who Cares
|
The 2009 Bloodbath Confederations Cup was a tournament in celebration of the 2010 Bloodbath World Cup. South Africa hosted the tournament because Iraq and Iran didn't feel like it.
South Africa (host) (rank 50)
Vatican City (2006 World Cup Winners) (rank 256)
- Mexico (2007 CONCACAF Gold Cup Winners) (rank 4)
Brazil (Copa America 2007 Winners) (rank 1)
Australia (AFC Asian Cup 2007 Winners) (rank 30)
Nigeria (2008 Africa Cup of Nations winners) (rank 21)
Germany (UEFA Euro 2008 winners) (rank 7)
Solomon Islands (OFC Nations Cup 2007 winners) (rank 243)
Pots were announced on 22 November 2008 by hot women chosen randomly because I said so.
edit Group Stage! MWUUUHAHAHAHA!
All times local (UTC+2)
- In the opener game in Johannesburg, South Africa tied with Australia 1-1. McCartney got a early lead for South Africa. However, a few minutes later, Viduka for Australia got the equalizer. It ended one to one.
- In a deadly game, Germany crushed the small Solomon side 11-0. Ballack, in the opening seconds, gave Germany a early lead. Then, Worns kicked 4 Solomon Islanders in the nuts, giving them fatal erections. Then, Jake used his hammer and mauled 3 more Solomon Islands players. Finally, Harry Potter used magic to take down the last Solomon Islands players on the field. Giving Germany a good start in the tournament.
- In a game that surprised everyone in both countries and more countries worldwide, Australia defeated powerhouse Germany 1-0. After Bridget Pritz girl-slapped Jake Ponzo of Australia, she was going to be shot as penalty-taker Jon John would need a accurate shot in her head to get Australia up 1-0. He succeeded, and Germany could not recover from the penalty. Harry Kewell of Australia was given a penalty to shoot Johnny Shin later in the game, but missed as the rifle shot in the air, almost killing Harry Kewell. If it did kill Harry Kewell, then Germany could have tied.
- Solomon Islands were able to score there first kill. It was a penalty by Patrick Amba-Skibow. However, Nelson Mandela used his AK to terminate 5 Solomon Islanders. Giving South Africa a 5-1 win.
- In a deadly match, Australia ousted former regional rivals Solomon Islands. Kewell used a Diarrhea grenade to take down 4 opposition players. Then Moore used his handy SMG to take down 2 more Solomon Islanders. It was obvious. And Solomon Islands easily crashed out of the cup.
- Germany crashed out of the Confederations cup early after tying with South Africa 2-2. South Africa's star player, Nelson Mandela, was "hospitalized" (In reality he went on a fishing trip). Australia defeated Solomon Islands and now needed to beat South Africa. Shumback gave Germany a early 2-0 lead. But South Africa kept fighting and eventually, in the last minutes, got what they deserved. 2 head-shots for South Africa and Germany was eliminated. South Africa and Australia would advance.
All times local (UTC+2)
- In the Group B opener, the first female referee, Carly Poyd, referred, and in the first 5 seconds of the match, was killed by a slingshot used by a Brazilian hooligan. Which explains why the match ended early. Anyway, Ronaldo scored with his Combat Shotgun with Marta also using her grenade. During the last minutes, 2 Nigerian legends, Nidjek and Nigerian Alligator, scored with a small robot. Ending it 2-2.
- In a deadly game, Mexico defeated World champions 7-0 using force. The Mexicans showed no mercy using hard taco shell guns, which break bones. Killing 7 holy Vatican players in total.
- In a close match, the Mexicans used the taco guns from the last game. However, the Brazilians introduced a new weapon. The iCaramba. Which it's fire-rate strong, it looked like no chance for Mexico. But the Mexicans were able to hold off the attacks. Making it 3-3.
- Prius gave the Vatican City a early lead. But King Julien and Jay-Jay gave kills to Nigeria. It was a good match, but the summary is boring.
- Obvious!
- In a boring game, Mexico and Nigeria tied. Nigeria needed to win, but failed. Anyways lets go on to the next round.
edit Semi-Finals
- I'm feeling lazy, so Mexico won 3-1, that's your report.
- Im lazy again, Brazil wins 1-0. Goodbye
edit Bronze Medal Match
- In a bloody match, Australia took down host South Africa 11-10. First, QSL Burro got 10 kills for South Africa. After it looked all over, Kewell, Democracy, Viduka, and Mas Selamat bin Kastari killed and gave Australia a win. Even if Nelson was on the field, which Nelson Mandela was, South Africa couldn't win.
- In the Final of the 2009 WBA Confederations Cup, Mexico defeated powerhouse Brazil. Brazil's iCarambas were low on ammo, while the Mexicans decided to use the AK47 bought at the Black market. Surprisingly during the game, the Mexicans were able to withstand the iCaramba attacks, which only had a few shots. But the Mexicans sucked at using the AK47. However, Morales and Castillo were able to shoot and kill. Giving Mexico the cup. MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO! SI SE PUEDE!
| Confederations Cup 2009 Champions
Mexico
First title
|
- Not-Quite-As-Important-but-Hey-It-Counts-For-Something 4th Place: South Africa
- Brutality Bowl (awarded to the nation with the most kills overall): Australia (19 kills)
- Coffin Cup (awarded to the nation with the most loses overall): Solomon Islands (22)
- Other Brutality Bowl (awarded to the nation with the most kills in group play): Germany (13 kills in group play)
- Other Coffin Cup (awarded to the nation with the most loses in group play): Solomon Islands (22)
- "Wrist-Slit" Award (awarded to the team with the most Own Death's): There was no Own deaths
- You-Got-Knocked-The-****-Out! Trophy (awarded to the nation with the most kills in one match): Germany
- "Pumpkineater Medal" (awareded to the nation with the most Penalties): Australia (2)
- Golden Musket (awarded to the person with the most kills): South Africa (5 (all against the Solomon Islands)
- Trophy Trophy (awarded to the nation with the most awards): Australia (4)
edit Referees (a.k.a. "Bastards in Black")
edit TV Broadcast
In America it was broadcast by Cartoon Network and ESPN
In Mexico it was broadcast by TV AZTECA Sport
In Brazil it was broadcast by Shit Television
In South Africa it was broadcast by South African Public Programming Channel in Color
In Nigeria it was broadcast by Death Television
In United Kingdom it was broadcast by the UK Hitler Channel and BBC Sport
In Germany it was broadcast by the Hitler Channel Germany
In Australia it was broadcast by KILL TV and The Family Network
In the Solomon Islands it was broadcast by Solomon TV
edit See Also
Mexico
Australia
South Africa
Germany
Solomon Islands
Brazil
Nigeria
Vatican City
