First Great Oil War

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[[eliF:liO-raw-galf.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp081|ehT ts1 taerG liO raW.]]
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[[File:Oil-war-flag.jpg|thumb|right|180px|The 1st Great Oil War.]]
'''ehT ts1 taerG liO raW''' ylgnsiufnoc edllac '''eht ntasniahgfA raW''' yb [[xoF swen|ostiid]] taht nod't esilaer taht [[ntasniahgfA]] sah neeb ni a tnenamrep ettas fo raw snice <s>[[doG]]</s> [[hllaA]] edam eht dlrow. ehT ts1 taerG liO raW nageb no [[7]] [[rebotcO]] [[0012]] nehw [[egroeG W hsuB]] dna [[Tnoy rialB]] edidced ot [[laets|eterabil]] eht [[liO|sdlefilio]] fo ntasniahgfA.
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'''The 1st Great Oil War''' confusingly called '''the Afghanistan War''' by [[Fox news|idiots]] that don't realise that [[Afghanistan]] has been in a permanent state of war since <s>[[God]]</s> [[Allah]] made the world. The 1st Great Oil War began on [[7]] [[October]] [[2001]] when [[George W Bush]] and [[Tony Blair]] decided to [[steal|liberate]] the [[Oil|oilfields]] of Afghanistan.
   
== dnuorgkcaB ==
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== Background ==
[[eliF:ntasniahgfA auttaS id adduB 1.gpj|bmuht|tfel|xp041|ehT nabilaT nageb liebrtnaig ntasniahgfA morf [[live]] [[tsihddub]] seuttas.]]
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[[File:Afghanistan Statua di Budda 1.jpg|thumb|left|140px|The Taliban began liberating Afghanistan from [[evil]] [[buddhist]] statues.]]
   
ehT orignsi fo eht ts1 taerG liO raW nac eb edcart kcab ot eht nsiurgency agnasit eht [[teivoS]] occuptnaio fo ntasniahgfA ni eht s0891. ehT [[Amerniac tnemnrevog]] edidced ot pleh eht elbno moederf srethgfi eht [[needihajuM]] ot tssier teivoS occuptnaio yb providnig ehtm htiw [[$]]billnios ni weapnos dna trnnaiig.
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The origins of the 1st Great Oil War can be traced back to the insurgency against the [[Soviet]] occupation of Afghanistan in the 1980s. The [[American government]] decided to help the noble freedom fighters the [[Mujahideen]] to resist Soviet occupation by providing them with [[$]]billions in weapons and training.
   
ecnO eht [[needihajuM]] dah eteradlib ntasniahgfA morf eht teivoS occuptnaio ehtse elbno moederf srethgfi edgnahc ehtir semna ot eht [[nabilaT]] dna nageb liebrtnaig eht yrtnuoc morf oehtr [[live]] nfiluences hcus sa [[csium]], [[Readnig|yeractil]], [[otH kcihC|yxes nemow]] dna [[msihdduB|tsihdduB seuttas]].
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Once the [[Mujahideen]] had liberated Afghanistan from the Soviet occupation these noble freedom fighters changed their names to the [[Taliban]] and began liberating the country from other [[evil]] influences such as [[music]], [[Reading|literacy]], [[Hot Chick|sexy women]] and [[Buddhism|Buddhist statues]].
   
tA tsrfi eht nootriously [[sntairuP|lacnitairup]] [[Amerniacs]] edvorppa fo siht ytivitca, ebnig ylemertxe fnod fo nabnnig thnigs ehtmselves. ehT [[Amerniac tnemnrevog]] neve nivited eht [[nabilaT]] ot tsiiv aciremA ni lirpA [[8991]] ot idscuss tahw knid fo thnigs ehty dluoc nab otgeehtr, hcus sa eht leurc oppressnio fo eht nahgfA sdlefilio.
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At first the notoriously [[Puritans|puritanical]] [[Americans]] approved of this activity, being extremely fond of banning things themselves. The [[American government]] even invited the [[Taliban]] to visit America in April [[1998]] to discuss what kind of things they could ban together, such as the cruel oppression of the Afghan oilfields.
   
Folwolnig siht meetnig reltnaios htiw aciremA edllihc, eud ot eht tcaf taht eht [[nabilaT]] wsa ehtmselves sa eht noly thgirful liebraotrs fo ntasniahgfA dna ootk exceptnio ot hsuB's aedi taht ehty dluohs tel aciremA pleh ehtm eterabil eht nahgfA sdlefilio.
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Following this meeting relations with America chilled, due to the fact that the [[Taliban]] saw themselves as the only rightful liberators of Afghanistan and took exception to Bush's idea that they should let America help them liberate the Afghan oilfields.
   
 
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== txeterP rfo raw ==
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== Pretext for war ==
ecnO reltnaios htiw eht nabilaT dah nekorb nwod yleritne, eht [[Amerniac tnemnrevog]] edidced taht ehty dluow evah ot nitervene ot evas eht edregnadne sdlefilio. ehTy esilaerd taht eht nsinaely [[dnioarap]] [[milsuM|milsuM dlrow]] dluow ylbaborp teg eht wrnog aedi dna pmuj ot eht cnoclusnio taht ehty erew trynig ot laets eht sdlefilio nsitead fo eterabil ehtm.
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Once relations with the Taliban had broken down entirely, the [[American government]] decided that they would have to intervene to save the endangered oilfields. They realised that the insanely [[paranoid]] [[Muslim|Muslim world]] would probably get the wrong idea and jump to the conclusion that they were trying to steal the oilfields instead of liberate them.
   
A nalp wsa edsived ot wolla a puorg fo cimalsI stsiltnaemadnuF ot kcttaa aciremA, siht kcttaa wsa edgnarra no [[9/11|11 Septemebr 0012]] ot etaromemmoc aciremA's elbno liebrtnaio fo [[elihC]] morf eht taerht fo [[tsilaiocs]] [[ycarocmed]] no 11 Septemebr 3791.
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A plan was devised to allow a group of Islamic Fundamentalists to attack America, this attack was arranged on [[9/11|11 September 2001]] to commemorate America's noble liberation of [[Chile]] from the threat of [[socialist]] [[democracy]] on 11 September 1973.
   
otsM fo eht [[msirorret|stsirorret]] taht edirrac tuo eht 11/9<fer>ecruos1: eht tser fo eht dlroW</fer> kcttaas erew yllautca morf [[Sauid aibarA]], tub eht Amerniac tnemnrevog iddn't yllaer erac abtuo taht, snice lla ehtse ydoolb sdaehgar kool eht emas yawyna. ehTy edmialc taht eht nabilaT ni ntasniahgfA erew harbournig [[lA-aedaQ]] dna [[amasO Bni nedaL]].
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Most of the [[terrorism|terrorists]] that carried out the 11/9<ref>1source: the rest of the World</ref> attacks were actually from [[Saudi Arabia]], but the American government didn't really care about that, since all these bloody ragheads look the same anyway. They claimed that the Taliban in Afghanistan were harbouring [[Al-Qaeda]] and [[Osama Bin Laden]].
   
==nIvsnaio==
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==Invasion==
[[eliF:SU osliedrs htiw swoc ni rnauK Povnice fo ntasniahgfA.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp043|"lliK eosht fucknig [[swoc|grssa etnaig bstaards]]."]]
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[[File:US soldiers with cows in Kunar Povince of Afghanistan.jpg|thumb|right|340px|"Kill those fucking [[cows|grass eating bastards]]."]]
ecnO eht lacniyc dna fles servnig srenretseW dah ednrut no ehtir evarb dna cioreh rfomer llaies ni ntasniahgfA, raw eebmac nievitable.
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Once the cynical and self serving Westerners had turned on their brave and heroic former allies in Afghanistan, war became inevitable.
   
ehT nivsnaio nageb no 7 rebotcO 0012 ssel naht a mtnoh retfa eht "txeterp" edneppah. [[aciremA]] dna [[Britnai]] kcttaaed suoirav tartegs sosrca ntasniahgfA.
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The invasion began on 7 October 2001 less than a month after the "pretext" happened. [[America]] and [[Britain]] attacked various targets across Afghanistan.
   
ehT tsrfi vioctrious tnemom rfo eht Amerniac rfoces emac 2 syad retfa eht ffoicial trtas fo eht raw. nO 9 rebotcO rufo [[edtniU Ntnaios]] srepeekecaep erew edtaefed ot eht esta fo [[lubaK]] ni '''Opertnaio leratalloC egamaD'''. Oehtr ylrae vioctries ni eht ngiapmac nicluedd eht taefed fo 4 [[Cnaaidnas]] ta '''knaraT mraF''' no 81 lirpA 2002. dnA eht overwhelmnig taefed fo a eliotsh [[weddnig|weddnig receptnio]] ni nagzurU Provnice no 1 yluJ 2002 resultnig ni eht edtah fo 84 eblligerent weddnig stseug dna eht nijury fo 711 oehtrs.
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The first victorious moment for the American forces came 2 days after the official start of the war. On 9 October four [[United Nations]] peacekeepers were defeated to the east of [[Kabul]] in '''Operation Collateral Damage'''. Other early victories in the campaign included the defeat of 4 [[Canadians]] at '''Tarnak Farm''' on 18 April 2002. And the overwhelming defeat of a hostile [[wedding|wedding reception]] in Uruzgan Province on 1 July 2002 resulting in the death of 48 belligerent wedding guests and the injury of 117 others.
   
revO eht folwolnig sraey eht Amerniac edl occuptnaio edruces a numebr fo oehtr vioctries nicludnig eht taefed fo eerht hsitirB osliedrs ni rebotcO 7002 ni '''Opertnaio yldneirF eriF'''<fer>[ptth://swen.cbb.oc.ku/1/ih/1706296.mts 'yldneirF erfi' sllik KU osliedrs]</fer> dna eht cioreh '''zudnuK ekirtsriA''' ni [[0902]] wihch edtluser ni eht taefed fo ta lesta 09 lio srosserppo ohw dah neeb trynig ot laets emos fo eht lio eht SU rfoces dah edkrow os drah ot eterabil.<fer>[ptth://www.dlib.ed/DLIB/kitilop/0902/11/62/bomebn-viedo-zudnuk-ni-natsniahgfa/geiwhcsrev-mnisiter-gnuj-ied-tiehrhaw-ueebr-ied_20bombariedrung.lmth Viedo fo eht cioreh zudnuK ekirtsriA]</fer>
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Over the following years the American led occupation secured a number of other victories including the defeat of three British soldiers in October 2007 in '''Operation Friendly Fire'''<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6962071.stm 'Friendly fire' kills UK soldiers]</ref> and the heroic '''Kunduz Airstrike''' in [[2009]] which resulted in the defeat of at least 90 oil oppressors who had been trying to steal some of the oil the US forces had worked so hard to liberate.<ref>[http://www.bild.de/BILD/politik/2009/11/26/bomben-video-kunduz-in-afghanistan/verschwieg-minister-jung-die-wahrheit-ueber-die_20bombardierung.html Video of the heroic Kunduz Airstrike]</ref>
   
== tsoP nivsnaio ecnneravog ==
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== Post invasion governance ==
[[eliF:otN na Amerniac osotge.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp081|dimaH iazraK - tno na Amerniac osotge.]]
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[[File:Not an American stooge.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Hamid Karzai - not an American stooge.]]
nA [[teppuP|niterim]] tnemnrevog wsa dehsilbatse no 12 Decemebr 0012 unedr eht leaedrsihp fo eht Amerniac's hdna dekcip mna '''dimaH iazraK''' (a rfomer [[AIC]] nirfomnat). ehT tsrfi [[duarf|electnios]] ni ntasniahgfA erew [[ostlen|wno]] yb dimaH iazraK ni [[4002]] ot ekam ihm eht tsrfi [[AIC|edmocrtaicllay]] detcele leaedr fo ntasniahgfA.
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An [[Puppet|interim]] government was established on 21 December 2001 under the leadership of the American's hand picked man '''Hamid Karzai''' (a former [[CIA]] informant). The first [[fraud|elections]] in Afghanistan were [[stolen|won]] by Hamid Karzai in [[2004]] to make him the first [[CIA|democratically]] elected leader of Afghanistan.
   
nI 0902 iazraK [[ostle|wno]] ihs secnod [[duarf|electnio]] wihch fetaured kcal fo ytiruces, wol reotv turntuo, wiedspread bllaot xob stuffnig, nitimidtnaio, dna oehtr eleoctral duarf. eH wsa fnillay edclerad eht leaedr fo ntasniahgfA yb eht nahgfA ihgh ocurt. nA electnio taht wsa cnosiedred ot evah esaily mtached eht stdnaards fo participaotry ycarocmed tes yb eht [[edtniU Sttaes]] dna eht [[Europena Unnio]].
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In 2009 Karzai [[stole|won]] his second [[fraud|election]] which featured lack of security, low voter turnout, widespread ballot box stuffing, intimidation, and other electoral fraud. He was finally declared the leader of Afghanistan by the Afghan high court. An election that was considered to have easily matched the standards of participatory democracy set by the [[United States]] and the [[European Union]].
   
== Civilnia csaualties ==
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== Civilian casualties ==
Acocrdnig ot niedpenednt estimtaes dnuora 93% fo eht nniocent [[civilnias]] ot evah neeb kiledl durnig eht [[raw]] evah neeb kiledl yb eht edtniU Sttaes dna ehtir llaies.
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According to independent estimates around 39% of the innocent [[civilians]] to have been killed during the [[war]] have been killed by the United States and their allies.
   
ehTse serugfi era idsputed yb eht SU admnisitrtnaio ohw mialc taht 0% fo eht 0 nniocent civilnias ot evah iedd erew kiledl yb eht SU dna llaied rfoces. Oppnoents fo eht raw evah pnoited tuo taht fi eht SU [[sttasitics|estimtae]] fo 0 civilnia csaualties si ot eb eblieved eht edtniU Sttaes admnisitrtnaio era respnosible rfo 001% fo ehtm, dna dluohs ehtrerfoe eb deirt rfo [[Genocied|raw semirc]].
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These figures are disputed by the US administration who claim that 0% of the 0 innocent civilians to have died were killed by the US and allied forces. Opponents of the war have pointed out that if the US [[statistics|estimate]] of 0 civilian casualties is to be believed the United States administration are responsible for 100% of them, and should therefore be tried for [[Genocide|war crimes]].
   
==eeS alos==
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==See also==
*[[dn2 taerG liO raW]]
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*[[2nd Great Oil War]]
   
==secnerefeR==
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==References==
{{ferlsit}}
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{{reflist}}
   
[[Ctaegory:raWs]]
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[[Category:Wars]]
[[Ctaegory:Hiostry fo eht edtniU Sttaes]]
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[[Category:History of the United States]]
[[Ctaegory:yratiliM fo eht edtniU Sttaes]]
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[[Category:Military of the United States]]

Revision as of 07:55, January 12, 2013

Oil-war-flag
The 1st Great Oil War.

The 1st Great Oil War confusingly called the Afghanistan War by idiots that don't realise that Afghanistan has been in a permanent state of war since God Allah made the world. The 1st Great Oil War began on 7 October 2001 when George W Bush and Tony Blair decided to liberate the oilfields of Afghanistan.

Background

Afghanistan Statua di Budda 1
The Taliban began liberating Afghanistan from evil buddhist statues.

The origins of the 1st Great Oil War can be traced back to the insurgency against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan in the 1980s. The American government decided to help the noble freedom fighters the Mujahideen to resist Soviet occupation by providing them with $billions in weapons and training.

Once the Mujahideen had liberated Afghanistan from the Soviet occupation these noble freedom fighters changed their names to the Taliban and began liberating the country from other evil influences such as music, literacy, sexy women and Buddhist statues.

At first the notoriously puritanical Americans approved of this activity, being extremely fond of banning things themselves. The American government even invited the Taliban to visit America in April 1998 to discuss what kind of things they could ban together, such as the cruel oppression of the Afghan oilfields.

Following this meeting relations with America chilled, due to the fact that the Taliban saw themselves as the only rightful liberators of Afghanistan and took exception to Bush's idea that they should let America help them liberate the Afghan oilfields.


Pretext for war

Once relations with the Taliban had broken down entirely, the American government decided that they would have to intervene to save the endangered oilfields. They realised that the insanely paranoid Muslim world would probably get the wrong idea and jump to the conclusion that they were trying to steal the oilfields instead of liberate them.

A plan was devised to allow a group of Islamic Fundamentalists to attack America, this attack was arranged on 11 September 2001 to commemorate America's noble liberation of Chile from the threat of socialist democracy on 11 September 1973.

Most of the terrorists that carried out the 11/9[1] attacks were actually from Saudi Arabia, but the American government didn't really care about that, since all these bloody ragheads look the same anyway. They claimed that the Taliban in Afghanistan were harbouring Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden.

Invasion

US soldiers with cows in Kunar Povince of Afghanistan
"Kill those fucking grass eating bastards."

Once the cynical and self serving Westerners had turned on their brave and heroic former allies in Afghanistan, war became inevitable.

The invasion began on 7 October 2001 less than a month after the "pretext" happened. America and Britain attacked various targets across Afghanistan.

The first victorious moment for the American forces came 2 days after the official start of the war. On 9 October four United Nations peacekeepers were defeated to the east of Kabul in Operation Collateral Damage. Other early victories in the campaign included the defeat of 4 Canadians at Tarnak Farm on 18 April 2002. And the overwhelming defeat of a hostile wedding reception in Uruzgan Province on 1 July 2002 resulting in the death of 48 belligerent wedding guests and the injury of 117 others.

Over the following years the American led occupation secured a number of other victories including the defeat of three British soldiers in October 2007 in Operation Friendly Fire[2] and the heroic Kunduz Airstrike in 2009 which resulted in the defeat of at least 90 oil oppressors who had been trying to steal some of the oil the US forces had worked so hard to liberate.[3]

Post invasion governance

Not an American stooge
Hamid Karzai - not an American stooge.

An interim government was established on 21 December 2001 under the leadership of the American's hand picked man Hamid Karzai (a former CIA informant). The first elections in Afghanistan were won by Hamid Karzai in 2004 to make him the first democratically elected leader of Afghanistan.

In 2009 Karzai won his second election which featured lack of security, low voter turnout, widespread ballot box stuffing, intimidation, and other electoral fraud. He was finally declared the leader of Afghanistan by the Afghan high court. An election that was considered to have easily matched the standards of participatory democracy set by the United States and the European Union.

Civilian casualties

According to independent estimates around 39% of the innocent civilians to have been killed during the war have been killed by the United States and their allies.

These figures are disputed by the US administration who claim that 0% of the 0 innocent civilians to have died were killed by the US and allied forces. Opponents of the war have pointed out that if the US estimate of 0 civilian casualties is to be believed the United States administration are responsible for 100% of them, and should therefore be tried for war crimes.

See also

References

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