1990s

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I was born in a certain time period; therefore I'm better than you.

~ 90s Kid on the 90s
DAE90s

Artist's depiction of the 90s.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about 1990s.

The 1990s (also known as the '90s) were, quite possibly, the greatest decade ever,[1] the final decade of the 20th century, and the last good decade in general.[2] They began on January 1, 1990 and ended on December 31, 1999 (duh).

Culturally, the 1990s were characterized by the rise of Grunge rock, cheesy Eurotrance loved around the world, superior television shows, improved special effects,[3] girls who totally wore clothes in music videos all the time and brilliant hip-hop that didn't consist of the word "nigga" repeated over and over again. The main issues of the day were terrorism, poverty and famine, problems that have of course now all been solved but at the time seemed quite pressing.

During the 1990s, the Bush dynasty in the United States was interrupted by a womanizing pretty boy named Bill Clinton. The international status of the United States drifted from "evil empire" to "war hero," mainly because there weren't many opportunities for them to demonstrate this.

You kids these days with all your fancy gadgets and whole lives ahead of you... you probably can't quite appreciate what this article is getting at, so feel free to "rave" or "tweet" until the danger of you learning something has passed.

Notable events

  • 1990 — Jesse Spano became addicted to caffeine because there was never enough time.
  • 28 November 1990 – 2 May 1997 — The John Major government takes over the United Kingdom and immediately ploughs the currency into the ground.
  • June 27, 1991 — Some people in Serbia got upset over religion, triggering a war that killed many Slavs.
  • April 29, 1992 — May 4, 1992 — The Rodney King verdict results in riots in Los Angeles.
  • January 20, 1993 — The end of the first Bush administration and the beginning of the Clinton administration. Nothing changes whatsoever.
  • 1993 – 2001 — Bill Clinton takes over the world.
  • April 5, 1994 — Kurt Cobain committed suicide, it does not improve his music.
  • 1996 — The Internet became really popular.
  • 1997 — Duke Nukem Forever wasn't made.
  • February 1999 — Osaka first appeared, confusing us all. Seriously, what IS it called when a cat paddles?
  • December 31, 1999 — The 90s were put to rest with the Y2K gossip and the End of Days movie. They both failed to achieve their secret purpose: mass suicide.

Identity

90sNick

A typical child of the 90s.

The 90s is considered by many '90s kids to be the "Golden Age" of life. In fact, whenever someone born from 1996 to present is reminded of the 90s and their superiority, he/she will say "Those were the Golden Ages", even though all of them clearly don't remember shit from the '90s. But for someone who grew up in the 1950s, they argue that the '50s were a better time to live than the '90s, even though both decades were very similar due to the tech boom, rise of boy bands/teen idols, and a new form of malt shop called the "Internet Café."[4]

Contrary to what the greedy Baby Boomers may tell you, the '90s were a very moral, peaceful, and family-oriented decade. Just look at shows like Full House for proof. In this decade, kids played outside frequently,[5] respected their elders, never lied, never stole, never cheated, never hurt anyone, and knew how to come home when the street lights came on. This wholesome golden age was only slightly overshadowed by the beginnings of economic globalisation, but this was easy to ignore especially with the technological wonder of the Game Boy Colour to marvel at/

Noted physicist Stephen Hawking argued against the label of the '90s as the "Golden Age", stating that time is not, nor can it ever be golden. Hawking postulated the 90s were, in fact, "a rather pleasing shade of Mauve."[citation needed] He later broke the 90s down into two distinct sub-eras: the first era (1990—mid 1991) was very similar to the 1980s, and considered to be a hangover from that decade, while the second era (mid 1991—2001) was the glorious 90s/early 2000s that we've come to love today, being the backlash from the nightmare of the 80s.

The 2000s are very similar to the 90s, and are considered by some to be The 90s: Part Deux. However, most 90s kids consider to 2000s to be far more commercialized, far less intelligent, and far more liberal than the 90s, and believe the 2000s suck and the 90s rock.

Technology

Ghetto ass cell phone

Cellular phones as they appeared in the 90s. No curves, no sleekness, no social media bullshit, no clutter, no Flappy Bird, no YOLO, just pure, unadulterated cellphonery.

The 90s was the decade where software changed all the time; you wanted software to change, not just live in the "cloud" and go "off-line." In fact, most software from this time was indeed "off-line," delivered by floppy disk or CD. When you wanted to get in touch with your buddies, you connected to an electronic bulletin board system, and left messages by e-mail for them, or on the forums there. Instead of playing social networking games, there were "door games" set up on some of the BBS systems. Some electronic bulletin boards were even connected to the Internet, later on. Computers became usable to the general public and AOL became popular for the first and last time.

'90s kids will know that back in the '90s, the Internet actually had content, not "Swag" and "YOLO" whatever those are. To access the Internet, you actually had to make an effort to go online, with the accompanying DSL modem noise (or, as 90s kids call it, "dial-up"). Back then, computers didn't automatically connect on start-up, and cellular phones (not cell phones) were only used for calling other people and playing the snake game. Who among us doesn't remember rushing home from school, going straight up to your bedroom, and then waiting three hours to see a woman's breast load incredibly slowly with the awesome power of dial-up? This, we thought, was as good as it would ever get.

Popular culture

Television

Le90sCartoons

There are NO good cartoons these days. Except for My Little Pony, of course. Also, please ignore the characters from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and My Gym Partner's a Monkey; whoever made this clearly isn't a 90s kid.

Television was a huge part of what made the 90s such an endearing decade. 90s shows notably lacked many of the details that are constant companions in modern entertainment; that is, to say, nobody was cooking meth, everyone had their clothes on, and there were no drive-by shootings. Contrary to what you might expect, this did not render TV uninteresting; the distinct lack of drugs and violence didn't even register with the public, and was in fact abhorred when it did appear. What you must understand, and anybody who grew up or lived in the 90s will tell you, is that nineties TV marked the peak of television broadcasting and squeamishness of the general public.

One of the most popular 90s shows was Batman: The Animated Series (often abbreviated to B:TAS). In this show, our caped crusader Batman would confront a villain/minor life event of the week, scowl at it, use something on his utility belt, learn a valuable life lesson and then he would share a private joke with his faithful butler before the credits rolled. It was all very tidy, and there was no argument that this was how the world worked. Children everywhere aspired to be Batman, and to one day share private jokes with butlers of their own. This formula, as you may recognise from literally every other show in the 90s, set the tone that defined a decade.

Sitcoms were big in the 90s, and aired on such networks as ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox. These new and unique shows, where comedy was combined with a fictional representation of life as we know it, turned TV in new directions and defined the humor of the decade: politically correct and inoffensive.

The defining feature of the programming was a move to low-quality animation. The public's desire for escape led it to demand that people in cartoons not look like people. An animated sitcom, The Simpsons, debuted in 1989 and became a domestic and international success in the 90s. The show has made it beyond the 90s and has become an institution of pop culture, but most fans agree that seasons 1—10 (1989—c. 1999) are the only seasons that matter. It has spawned the adult-oriented animated sitcom genre, inspiring edgier shows such as Beavis and Butt-Head, South Park, Family Guy, and Daria. In Britain, where the viewing public insists on shows with swear words, shows like Bottom, Red Dwarf and Father Ted were famous.

Everyone behaved decently in these shows. Fighting, where it was unavoidable, was brief and involved a lot of pushing. The gulf between the Batman of The Animated Series and the Batman of The Dark Knight demonstrates why the 2000s have become known as "the decade of caddishness."

Wrestling-oriented shows reached their peak quality in the 90s. It was at this time that WWE (then known as WWF) was in its "Attitude Era" (1997–2001), where wrestling matches would be depicted as more violent and x-treme than ever before. WWE and WCW were in a ratings battle called the Monday Night Wars (1995–2001). Each company fought to draw more viewers to their respective Monday night wrestling show. The "War" ended in 2001 when WWE bought WCW. In November 2001, there was a Winner Takes All match with both companies in a Pay-Per-View called Survivor Series. WWE won the match, putting a final end to WCW. After this, WWE entered the Ruthless Aggression Era (2002–2007), which wasn't as good as the Attitude Era but still OK, especially when compared to the shitty PG Era (2007–present).

Anime reached peak popularity in the 90s, causing a massive boom in the weeaboo population. TV shows such as Dragon Ball Z / Pokemon, Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo, Yu Yu Hakusho, Digimon, Pokémon, and Neon Genesis Evangelion, anime movies such as Akira, butcherings English dubs of anime by various distributors such as FUNimation, Ocean Group, DiC Entertainment, and (worst of all) 4Kids, and the Cartoon Network block Toonami all helped fuel the anime craze of the mid-90s to mid-2000s in the U.S.

Cartoons went through a renaissance during the 90s, with studios producing many critically acclaimed shows. Networks such as Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel/ABC, PBS, NBC, and CBS were in their prime in the 90s, mainly due to their original cartoons. Whether it was action cartoons like Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, SWAT Kats, Sonic the Hedgehog SatAM, Street Sharks, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and X-Men; stoner cartoons like Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, The Ren and Stimpy Show, Rocko's Modern Life, and Courage the Cowardly Dog; kids shows with adult humor like Pinky and the Brain, Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, The Angry Beavers, Doug, Hey Arnold!, Rugrats, Dexter's Laboratory, Ed Edd n Eddy, Johnny Bravo, The Powerpuff Girls, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Pepper Ann, Recess, and The Weekenders; generic/inoffensive pablum like Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Rocket Power, The Proud Family, Sabrina: The Animated Series, and Sonic Underground; or educational shows like Arthur and The Magic School Bus, there was no limit when it came to 90s cartoons.

Classic/acquired cartoons (1980s and earlier) reached a new audience in the 90s, mainly thanks to (again) Cartoon Network. These shows included Captain Planet and the Planeteers, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Looney Tunes, Scooby-Doo, and Tom and Jerry.

Music

What the fuck is this shit? My teacher told me to listen to this and said it's real music. It's unoriginal, I have heard the exact same music in rap songs. This Beethoven faggot is shit and stole from clever musicians like Skrillex. If you guys want real music, seriously check out Skrillex. Plus, these songs haz no bass drops, it sounds terrible on my sub woofers.
~ 10s Kid on REAL music that his generation can't comprehend
MyLeGeneration

Music used to be so awesome in the 90s, y'know? But now, man, it just sucks.

Us 90s kids had the best music, dontchya know? We were the last generation to listen to good music that had soul like [Le]d Zepplan, [Le] Beat[le]s, Queens, Backstreet Boys, and Elvis. Most 12 year olds today listen to crappy pop like Justine GAYber, Mily Slutrus, One Gay Erection, Kangay "Gayfish" West, Lady Caca, cum dumpster Nikki Manaj, Cock Sucker Perry, 2-Shitz, YOLO swagfag Drake, Gay-Z, and [Le]l GAYne; they're a bunch of swagfags who can't appreciate real music like us 90s kids can. Good thing I was born in the 90s, back when music was actually music (unlike today) and didn't make me lose faith in this generation.

The 90s was the decade that saw the total commercialization of POP and ROCK and ANTI-DISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM. It was also the decade when MTV still played music. But most importantly, it was the decade of the goths and punks. Punk rock (now known as punk pop) became popular in this decade, mainly due to artists such as Green Day, Blink-182, Weezer, Social Distortion, The Offspring, Bad Religion, NOFX, and Rancid. This was also the decade alternative rock became mainstream, as exemplified by such artists and bands as Beck, U2, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Radiohead, R.E.M., Powerline, Gin Blossoms, Oasis, Blur, Soul Asylum, Third Eye Blind, Stone Temple Pilots, Faith No More, The Smashing Pumpkins, Live, Everclear, Bush, Alice in Chains, Marilyn Manson, Love Spit Love, Screaming Trees, Ween, The White Stripes, Sugar Ray, My Bloody Valentine, and the Violent Femmes.

The 90s implied a new era of philosophic stuff; rock stars who were captivated by this came up with a new music genre called grunge, which differs heavily from most other genres.[6] Grunge music became popular in the 90s because of the success of bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden. One of the most important '90s icons was Kurt Cobain, the frontman of Nirvana, who is remembered for being the first person to prove it's OK to kill yourself if you have some sort of "Philosophic Principle" that no one else understands, thus making you feel miserable and banned from society and wanting leave this world. Cobain's death proved to many that being suicidal was a-OK, bringing in an era of teen angst and rebellion in high economic times.

Classic rock was invented and perfected in the 90s. Us 90s kids had some of the most badass and cool music, unlike that pussy-ass crap they have today. Back in the 90s, the motto of rock was: "I only know three or four chords, but whatever, man. I make real music," unlike the modern garbage today. Bands included ABBA, AC/DC, Aerosmith, The Allman Brothers Band, The B-52s, The Beatles, The Beach Boys,[7] Bob Dylan, The Clash, Def Leppard, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, The Kinks, KISS, Joe Cocker, John Lennon, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Paul McCartney, Pink Floyd, Queen, The Rolling Stones, Sex Pistols, and The Who.

Hip-hop/rap was at its peak in the 90s. To all you non-90s kids, I'll explain to you why: back in the 90s, rappers rapped about REAL issues, not just fucking hoes and capping bitches. Beastie Boys, Biggie Smalls, Coolio, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Ice Cube, Shaquille O'Neal, Tupac Shakur, and the Wu-Tang Clan are the only rappers ever to mention how hard life in the inner city is, how it's like a jungle sometimes, and how they wonder how to keep from going under. Plus, hip hop is like an Oreo: the best part is white. xDDDDD

Even pop music was tolerable in the '90s. Say what you will about Aaron Carter, Aqua, the Backstreet Boys, B*witched, Hillary Duff, Hootie and the Blowfish, N'Sync, and the Spice Girls; at least their music was catchy and had soul, unlike modern crap "artists" who make you feel drained whenever you listen to them. Plus, all of these 90s bands got famous without social media bullshit like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. Boybands broke onto the music scene, invaded our TV stations and radio waves, and steadily spouted stupid-but-catchy songs to the world. Groups such as N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys climbed their way into stardom; this resulted in years of silliness and fanbases consisting of 12-16 year old girls. Their sordid careers ended in the mid-2000s, thanks to the changing musical scene. Unfortunately, their aura of cheesiness inspired many other terrible artists to create songs and kill music.

The 90s saw the rise of "rave" culture and electronic music. Techno music back then was real, unlike the dubstep crap we have now (dubstep isn't even music, all you do is press a button that says "Make music").

Even though music is dead now, my ultimate dream is for Freddy Mercury to come back to life and hold a giant concert in the middle of the street where Kurt Cobain, Keith Moon, John Entwistle, John Bonham, Jimmy Hendrick, John Lennon, Jim Morrison, anyone who wrote the theme song to a 90s cartoon, and Tupac would all make guest appearances. Justin Bieber, One Erection, and every le [c]rapper ever (except 90s rappers such as Biggie, Tupac, and Eminem, maybe Mack[le]more as well) would be executed on stage and all radio stations in the world would start playing nothing but real music 24/7 and the world would rejoice. Ah, how one can only dream of such insightful music. FUCK THIS GENERATION.

Movies

Please add something here.

Fashion

In terms of fashion, the '90s was a revolution against the 1980s and all their cheesiness with a comeback of edginess. Women stopped dressing like Madonna and men stopped wearing those stupid tough-guy leather jackets. The second half of the '90s consisted mainly of wannabes whose only choice of clothing style was striped polo shirts and utility style jeans plastered with red and blue Tommy Hilfiger logos.[8]

Revival

No amount of romanticizing the past will change the fact you are getting old. The uncool old people complaining about the new generation that you used to roll your eyes at are now you.

~ Mr. Killjoy on 90s kids

Around 2005, a movement to reminisce on the 90s started. Originally intended to be a simple look-back on the decade, it eventually became a large militant fanboy army movement that overtime began to over-saturate the decade as if they were 90-year-olds talking about the 1920s. Members of the army are called "90s kids."

The large pride movement propagates the view that the 90s:

  • Were all about happy childhood and music, and nothing more.
  • Had absolutely no war or sadness and that everyone was walking around like a happy Disney movie.
  • THE BEST DECADE EVAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is an ongoing Civil War on the Internet about who can/can't be called a "90s kid." 15-year olds claim to know every single last detail about the entire decade because they know about boybands and the Macarena, even though they were born in 1999 and therefore can't remember shit from it. On the other side, a group of older kids (born 1980–1995) hold the view that you HAVE to be born 1990–1995—or better yet, in the 1980s—to even know anything about the decade, otherwise you're a Skrillex-loving swagfag and/or Belieber. Either way, both flaunt their childhoods like they were on a float in some flashy gay pride parade.

The movement bashes the 2000s, holding the view that the Holocaust, World War I, and World War II happened 24/7 throughout the decade; that everyone was an evil pedophile; that all kids today are brainwashed spoiled brats; and that everything now is commercialized.[9] Originally, this movement bashed anything that was created past December 31, 1999, but the bashing has since been lifted and currently bashes anything post-2005.

The 80s nostalgia movement, a predecessor of the 90s nostalgia movement, occasionally sends fanboy troops called "80s kids" into their holy altar of worship known as "tribute videos," in an effort to bash the 90s, but they are instantly surrounded and lynched by other "90s kids." However, when a tribute to the 00s is made, both 80s and 90s kids team up to vandalize and sacrilege the altar, and proceed to lynch the "00s kids", people born between 1997 and 2001 who have given up trying to act like they experienced the whole decade.

The gorilla warfare is available for complimentary public viewing, which is easily accessible by using YouTube, or simply using Google so nobody has to give an endless list.

External links

References

  1. Unless you're a bratty 2000s kid, then you wouldn't understand the '90s like us '90s kids do.
  2. Unless you were born after 2000, you're in no position to think the late 2000s/2010s are any good.
  3. '90s special effects are better than 2000s special effects. Why? Because they're from the '90s.
  4. With the smoothies, but without without the jukeboxes.
  5. Unlike children today.
  6. Even though Grunge is a revival of 1970s punk rock, but with a different twist to it, because this one is cooler and people get to wear their old wrinkled sweaters and still look neat.
  7. Before that asshole Mike Love came along.
  8. Since back then, if you weren't one of them, you were nothing.
  9. Although 90s kids were obliviously fed commercialism as a child.

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