1990

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

This article is about the year 1990.

For the decade, see 1990s.

For the breakdance move, see Break dancing.

For the TV series, watch TV.

For the album MCMXC a.D., see Enigma.

For other uses, see somebody who cares.

1990 AD (pronounced (UK, United States) IPA /ˈnaɪn.tiːnaɪn.tiː eɪ diː/ ) was an uncommon year starting on Monday. It was also considered by some the first year of the last decade in the first millennium since the first millenium. Mathematicians, however, suggest that should be 1991.

It is often considered the final year of the Cold War era, due to the start of Global warming.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to 1990.

[edit] Events

[edit] January

January 7 – The Tower of Pisa is closed to the public by order of the Cabal while works are started to make it lean.

• January 1 – A Bill is introduced to Parliament that the Cold War become compulsory learning for all students. The Bill is voted down, as it is believed that the Cold War has gone on so long that there will never be a time where people are ignorant of the events and the ramifications of it.
• January 4 – Two trains collide in Sangi, Pakistan. Thomas and Friends toys are banned by Presidential order.
• January 10 – Time Inc. and Warner Communications Inc merge. Free speech dies a little more.
• January 22 – Robert Tappan Morris, Jr. is convicted of releasing the Morris worm. Computers worldwide start Morris dancing. Morris is now an associate professor at MIT, demonstrating that hacking is often the quickest path to tenure.
• January 31 – Something about McDonald's and the Cold War

[edit] February

February 14 – The Pale Blue Dot picture was sent back from the V'ger probe after completing its primary mission, it was around 3.5 billion miles away from earth.

• February 11 – Mike Tyson proves that he's really a pussy by getting beaten up by James "Buster" Douglas
• February 11 – Nelson Mandela is released from Victor Verster Prison. He has yet to stand trial.
• February 27 – Exxon Valdez wins the "Corporation of the Future" award 5 times.

[edit] March

• March 1 – Steve Jackson Games is raided by the U.S. Secret Service, as they got sick of waiting for the release of GURPS Cyberpunk
• March 1 – The Royal New Zealand Navy discontinues its daily rum ration, and instead start to sell rum to the crew instead. Revenue from the sale of Rum to New Zealand sailors now makes up 12.8% of the Gross Domestic Product.
• March 18 – Two thieves, posing as police officers, walk into the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston, Massachusetts, and walk out with twelve paintings, collectively worth from $100 to $300 million. It is considered the biggest art theft and property theft—in history. The paintings still haven't been recovered. The security guards who were working there, surprisingly, are no longer working there.
• March 20 – Imelda Marcos, goes on trial for bribery, embezzlement, and racketeering, but walks away because she was wearing some damned fine shoes.
• March 24 – Bob Hawk, the Australian Prime Minister is in an election against Andrew Peacock. Hawk wins. Which given that Hawks are birds of prey, and peacocks are a walking target, this isn't surprising.
• March 28 – U.S. President George H. W. Bush posthumously awards Jesse Owens the Congressional Gold Medal. Prior to this nobody was aware that George H. W. Bush was dead.

[edit] April

April 24 – The Space Shuttle Discovery places the Hubble Space Telescope into orbit.

• April 1 – Strangeways Prison Party: The longest prison party in Britain's history begins at Strangeways Prison in Manchester, and continues for 3 weeks and 3 days, until April 25. The Best of Johnny Cash can be heard playing on infinite repeat.
• April 7 – John Poindexter is found guilty of 5 charges for his part in the supplying Weapons of Mass Destruction to Iran, as US policy at the time appeared to only allow for Weapons of Mass Destruction to be supplied to Iraq. The charges were later dropped on appeal, as nobody can work out what the hell the policy actually was.
• April 20 – STS-31: The Hubble Space Telescope is launched aboard Space Shuttle Discovery.
• April 24 – Faults are discovered in the software for the Hubble Space Telescope that was designed for it by Microsoft. A later version of software is created, making the telescope obsolete.

[edit] May

July 7 – Placido Domingo, Luciano Pavarotti, and the other one. In Rome the Three Tenors sing together for the first time. The highlight is Luciano Pavarotti's performance of Rocchetta Regina from Gonne et Rosa opera Aperitif de Destrucción.

• May 2 – In London, a man brandishing a knife robs courier Nicholas Lane of bearer bonds worth £292 million. This is the largest mugging to date. It was a good year for crime.
• May 5 – The 35th Eurovision Song Contest takes place in Zagreb, Yugoslavia. Music fans everywhere die a little inside.
• May 17 – The World Health Organisation adds unpatriotic to its list of diseases.
• May 22 – Microsoft releases Windows 3.0. Hackers worldwide rejoice at the lack of security.

[edit] June

• June 1 – U.S. President George H. W. Bush and Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev sign a treaty to end chemical weapon production and begin destroying their respective stocks, forever ending the fear of Weapons of Mass Destruction.

[edit] July

• July 8 – West Germany defeats Argentina 1-0 to win the 1990 FIFA World Cup. This might have something to do with the Cold War.

George H.W. Bush signs the Americans with Disabilities Act, as he has numerous friends and family with intellectual disabilities.^[1]

• July 26 – U.S. President George H.W. Bush signs the Americans with Disabilities Act, designed to protect disabled Americans from discrimination, which allows the intellectually disabled to hold hold office.

[edit] August

• August 2 – Iraq invades Kuwait, because they had all these Weapons of Mass Destruction that some foreign power kept giving them and nothing better to do.
• August 6 – The United Nations Security Council orders a global trade embargo against Iraq in response to its invasion of Kuwait, because that worked so well in stopping weapons trade with Iran.

[edit] September

• September 2 – Transnistria declares its independence; however, the declaration is not recognised by any government. To this day still nobody recognises Transnistria.

[edit] October

November 22 – Margaret Thatcher is watching YOU! The Iron Lady announces she will not contest the second ballot of the leadership election for the Conservative Party (UK). Miners across the country celebrate as they sign on for their next dole cheque.

• October 5 – After 150 years, 10 months and 2 days (Friday, January 3, 1840 – Friday, October 5, 1990), The Herald newspaper in Melbourne, Australia is published for the last time as a separate newspaper.
• October 6 – After 150 years, 10 months and 2 days (Friday, January 4, 1840 – Friday, October 6, 1990), Collingwood wins the AFL Grand Final.
• October 15 – Mikhail Gorbachev is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to lessen Cold War tensions and reform his nation, 268 days after Soviet Troops occupy Baku, Azerbaijan, under the state of emergency decree he issued, and kill 137 and wound over 700 people.
• October 25 – Evander Holyfield defeats James 'Buster' Douglas for the Heavyweight Boxing crown, showing even further how much of a pussy Mike Tyson is.
• October 27 – The New Zealand general election 1990 returns the New Zealand National Party with a record number of sheep voting.

[edit] November

December 31 – Russian Garry Kasparov holds his title by winning the World Chess Championship match against his countryman Anatoly Karpov, showig how supremely manly and brave chess players are. This is believed to have marked the end of the Cold War.

• November 1 – Mary Robinson becomes the first female President of Ireland. And top o' the morinin' to ye, Mary!
• November 12 – Akihito is enthroned as the 125th emperor of Japan after a fair and impartial election, where he voted for himself unanimously.
• November 12 – Tim Berners-Lee publishes a more formal proposal for the World Wide Web, little realising that it will never catch on.
• November 28 – John Major is appointed Prime Minister by Queen Elizabeth II, in an amazing display on how bastions of democracy arrange for a new leader without an election.
• November 29 – Something about the United Nations, but you'll all be glad to know that the Cold War is over and a new wave of peace is about to begin!

[edit] December

• December 1 – The Channel Tunnel finally meets up at both sides 40m under the sea bed, creating a land link to two countries that have had a firm history of peace and partnership.
• December 6 – Saddam Hussein releases the Western hostages, thankfully avoiding any potential bloodshed that would result from a stupid and senseless war.

[edit] Undated

• The New Revised Standard Version of the Bible is published in the United States.
• Homosexual acts between consenting adults are decriminalised in Queensland. These two items are not in any way linked.
• The end of the short twentieth century, despite what Mathematicians say.

[edit] Births

Nobody was born in 1990 of significance. Seriously. What, they'd only be 19 years old or something. What are they expected to have done in 19 years? Become a Seiyū or something?

[edit] Deaths

Editors please note: This is a an extremely serious list and not to be taken frivolously. Please do not add yourself, non-notable people, fictional characters, or people with or without Uncyclopedia articles to this list. No red links, please.

• January 1 – The 1980s ...but they're gonna get back in the Mid-2000s
• May 16 – Jim Henson, American puppeteer and filmmaker (b. 1936)

[edit] Footnotes