1950s

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Tampon

Tampons were invented in the 1950s

Bigenochpowellonapogostick

Pogo sticks became the main method of transportation, as seen here in a typical American family seeing their father off for work.

1950s is the period in time between January 31st 1949 and yesterday. It was an era of cultural diversity, peace around the world, and a vast increase in sexually transmitted diseases.

Prominent people of the time were Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, James Dean, Charlton Heston and Richard Simmons.

People were unconcerned with politics in this era, and there was no President of the USA during the 1950s. You just have some golf player named Ike. In Europe people were still celebrating the post war era and there was a feeling of freedom and prosperity even amongst homeless people and idiots. In particular, teenagers living above subsistence level had generally not realized that they could be irritating to all other age groups without making much effort. Meanwhile, adults believed that the commercialization of broadcast media would actually broaden the choice available to viewers and listeners. Children, locomotives and aeroplanes still made interesting noises in the 1950's, such that they could be distinguished from one another by their sound and were worth listening.

edit Family Values

After the warfare, lust, and productivity of the late 1940s came the fruitfulness of the 1950s. This proverbial booming of babies led to the most powerful relapse into conservative values since Napoleon Bonaparte outlawed fornication in post-revolutionary France. Historians are still trying to discover the catalyst of this spontaneous conservatism, the prevalent theory being that people had so much sex in the previous decade that they simply got, for lack of a better word, bored.

edit Films of the 50's

  • Cheap Sci-Fi-O-Rama - the whole decade.
  • Short pre-movie PSAs: "The Malt Shop: BEWARE Young People! An educational film brought to you by the Patriotic League for Moral Decency and by the love of our Lord" and "For Young Girls, we bleed monthly: A Short film on the Curse of Eve and how to be a proper lady".
  • Communist Brain Invaders (directed by Ronald Reagan, he blacklisted Charlie Chaplin) - released 1950.
  • Killer Ants from Outer Space - released 1951.
  • Mildly Irritating Ants from Inner Space - not yet released.
  • Killer Bees from Mars - released 1952.
  • Rock Around the Sundial - released 1953 (banned in 11 states and Orange County).
  • The Thing...from the Black Neighborhood - released 1954.
  • Killer Women from Venus - released 1955.
  • War movie portrays Nazis & Commies as gay lovers. - released every week.
  • Homos From Uranus - released yesterday.
  • ROOK OUT. GOD, ZI, RRA! - released in America (Engrish subtitres).
  • Carry On Making "Funny" Films - released 1956.
  • You've never had it - so Good! - released 1957.
  • The White American CowMEN defeat the Asiatic Soviet Red-skins - released 1958, arguably the best western film ever.
  • Dirty Girls don't ever have sex (starring Marilyn Monore, PWNd by Bridgette Bardot) - released in 1959.

edit Inventions of the 50's

  • Tampons
  • Television
  • Apples
  • Nicaragua
  • Yo-yo
  • Hula Hoops
  • Playboy
  • Porn in general though I wouldn't call Playboy porn. They just sit there.... that's no fun.
  • Masturbation
  • Penis pumper
  • 1950's narrator
  • Cars with tailfins on them, Much cooler than cars with running boards.
  • Davy Crockett hats, damn near put raccoons on the endangered species list.

edit TV shows of the 50's

  • Dr Kildare (what? Was it on "TV Land" last night?)
  • Father Knows Breasts
  • Milton Berle (on 100 other TV programs at the time).
  • The Fonz
  • My Three Gunz
  • Gunsmoke or Bonanza or Western Showdown knockoffs.
  • Little Rascals (When kids respected grown-ups...sort of).
  • I Love Lucy (brought to you by Lucky Strike cigarettes! "They're to die for").
  • Leave it to Beaver (HA! his name is beaver... as in vagina).
  • Honeymooners (aka Husband knows best, wife keeps out of it).
  • The 500 dollar question (We rig it for winners to come home in their very own '57 Pink Chevy Olds Cadillac, built here in America).
  • The Mutual Broadcast Stations hour (One-hour movies starring actors who are not blacklisted).
  • The Amos & Andy Show (brought to you by Sambo's segregated diners "Now hiring for colored only jobs", Pickin a Nigra hats "Every man must wear it" and Uncle Tom's rice "Negro please, a side of rice with my fried chikkins & colla greens").
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