17 (number)

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“This number is my number one number”
~ Oscar Wilde on 17
“It's over nine thousand!”
~ Vegeta on 17


17 is a number which was introduced shortly after the second World War II in order to take some pressure off its neighbours, 15 and 18. At the official unveiling in Calcutta, Mr. Dagmar Strife of the International Council For Numbers proclaimed,

Prime numbers are the future. I believe the introduction of 17 will be a great boon to man and monkeykind.

However, the public never really warmed to it, leading to the introduction of the far more popular 16 two years later.

In recent years, 17 has gained something of a cult following due to its cool retro styling and faint scent of lavender.

Anyone who uses it in actual math is retarded, as it is and always has been imaginary.

Some consider 17 to be the most evil number. Consider:

  • when the evil Winston Churchill asked Hitler if he would surrender, Hitler replied "Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein!". That's 17 'neins'. Nein means no, by the way.

It is a well known fact that of all whole numbers, 17 is the most random.

Legal notice: 17 is barely legal.

edit Dark History

Although previously thought to have been invented as described above, recent archaeological finds have found that seventeen began its life many trillions of years ago, when it was the third, and last number to have been created directly by God (along with 1 and 3). All of the rest were simply put there by mathmaticians with too much time on their hands.

edit Famous Appearences

  • There were actually seventeen commandments - Moses just had enough stone for ten of them.
  • Originally there were seventeen months, but most of these were killed during the Second World War.
  • 17 once won the Nobel Prize for seeing things, but unfortunately had the prize revoked after it was found to have been involved in The 1st-and-a-halfth Reich in 1287.

edit Real Math

Most of modern mathematics is in fact fallacious (wrong). Obviously, first of all, the answers to all mathematical questions is "Ummm...maybe", but aside from that, any mathematical formula without seventeen is not actually a real mathematical formula at all. Real mathematical (and scientific) formulaeaea include:

  • 3 + 6 = 17
  • 1 + 1 = 17
  • F = 17ma
  • E = 17mc^2
  • NC - 17 = 3 * X

edit See Also

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