Yes, twelve year olds are invading the INTERNET. You see them all around you. They walk around just like us. And they're the biggest threat to the existence of the Internet. They contribute their useless articles to the holiest of all holy sites, Uncyclopedia.
They refer to the Internet as the "Intraweb", and have been an age-old problem. Even before the Internet was around, various twelve year olds were preparing their invasion. Sadly, only a few twelve year olds remained as twelve year olds when the Internet was first invented.
General Intelligence On The Growing Threat of 12 Year Olds Invading the Internet
The underdeveloped humans, known as "12-year-olds" are taking over the Internet by storm due to the ample availability of parent stupidity. Many leading experts have drawn parallels between the tactics of a 12-year-old and those of terrorists and Tom Cruise.
Young morons recently began invading the site called myspace.com. To make themselves feel like grown-ups, they put on their two-part swimsuits and take pics of their rear ends as a mating call to pedophiles. Other 12-year olds often label themselves as "gangsta" because they listen to Lil Wayne. Despite these claims, they will never express publicly that their ultimate goal is to sprout ball hair (yes, even the girls). Some government officials have tried to take action against MySpace, and similar types of websites, but their actions have been blocked repeatedly by certain people.
Upon reaching the age of Thirteen, all "MySpacers" that haven't "Grown out of" it will consistently bitch about how annoying 12 year olds are and how they need to grow up, often within days of hitting that oh so mature age, this is to bring more attention to the fact that they are more nearly "legal" by killing the hopes and dreams of their comrades to hit it off with their new Teenager friends.
How a Twelve Year Old Talks
Here's an example:
"hello im normal unlike you fucking geek. like what the hell are u doing wasting ur time typing about us 12 year olds like i mean you were on too u have to start somewhere.anyways atleast i can get an erection unlike you... fuck u buddy!!!!!"
Translation: Can you read my writing? No you can't 'cause you are a noob! Ha ha! I am not a script kiddy, are you? Giggity giggity oh oh oooooh! I am Quagmire!
Notice not only the overuse of 1337, but also the numerous spelling mistakes, which have yet to develop into adult misspellings.
Here is another example of the way a twelve year old on the Internet would speak. Note how said twelve year old is attempting to argue his point of view, whilst making a spelling mistake on the almost every word. Also note lack of punctuation apart from the numerous exclamation marks (!) at the end.
You won't realise how annoying you are until you've reached about 16, and then you'll be complaining about them too. You're still a kid - enjoy your childhood as much as you can.
ha us immature im 12 and jease if your gonna make an article like this then that makes you immature why dont you just take a fucking look in a mirror then lets see wtf you have to say to us. and we type like that because we arent old we grew up with technology our whole lifes. so lol lmfao rotfl if you want to diss an age group how about your own, i dont give a shit about mother fuckers like you that have no better life then to make things like this. i am very dissapointed in you, i thought that you were smart i looked up to older kids (haha jk) now i dont because your really retarded, maybe think about getting some mental help. thanks!!!! from a 12 year old, (oh yea i did this !!!! thats so immature lol.
Im 12 so get one thing straight yuhh sap not every 12 year old is stupid nd yehh i doo type lyk dis buhh duz dahh av ehin teh du wiv yhuu????Go enjoii bein singall for deh rest ova yhuur lyf !
Fuck this shit motherfuckers! im a 13 yr old boy and this is bullshit! there isnt anything wrong with 12 year olds! but there is something wrong with you, your fucked up preteen hating retards! What did 12 year olds ever do 2 you?! NOTHING! FUCK OFF DUCHE BAGS! I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IF I FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM NOT FUCKING AROUND! I HAVE 6 SWITCHBLADES! any 11-12 year olds that hate this page are 100% right! this is bullshit! email me if u want: firstname.lastname@example.org
I, actually being 11, not 12, accept my fate to be stereotyped and made fun of. It may be slightly unpleasant, but this is what Uncyclopedia is for. My favorite amendment is the 1st. -Luigisbrother100 (Yes, I know that youtube username is retarded.)
iam not 12 and i put allllllllllllllllllllllllot of exclamatin pionts....!!!!!!!!!! im actualy older..!!!!!
all of u r roong. tats not how we 12yr olds typ. so stop mkin fun of us. so if u mak fun of us agin ill tell my mommy and shll pwn u. heheheheheh boobs are nice. hot girls. porn. i liek porn do u. ahaha i liek utube p00p
Hi my name is sammy and this is offensive to 12 year olds take it down now or im telling my mommy
i no u like porn
Hello im the kid in that clip whos making that funny face at the computer, and that isnt me. For all those... bn hnjimnou fgrfhcbdfbfhfjfnfjh LOLOLLOLLLOLL ahahah porn i am addcted!
My mommy said this is inappropriate so you have to take it down now or she'll call your parents.
Fzuck U L U Sunza Biziztchesz! Mah opinin az gudz any1 3LZes!
Ok, yes, I admit, this is a funny, little, "article". But us so-called stupid, 12 year, olds will not know the difference, from a fake, and a real, article. Also notice that, 12 year, olds, are much more, book smart ,,than you "adults".
Me, a 12, year old.
I'm 11 so this has no effect on me! DEATH TO 12 YEAR OLDS!!~
And I'm 14, so now I realise I must go back in time to kill th 12 year old me! Oh. Wait ... ?
I'm 11 and this cracks me up cause I totally agree. I may type 1337 but atleast I'm not a dumbass. Pr0n f7vv
Hello, I'm Daphne. I am at the ripe age of twelve and I'm here to explain why this article sucks.
1. What kind of person wastes their time bashing a age group? 2. All twelve year olds are immature. 3. I got my mommy to proofread this You may notice that I am very literate. Thank you for your time.
you are fuking gay and i can wrtie ok and me not imature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111 (NOT from someone else)
(I'm a twelve year old and I find this article quite childish.)
.. I am actually 62, and I find this highly amusing, quite, it is the tops, jolly good old chaps, jolly good. (I LUV PENIZ LOLOLOLOLOL!!!11!!1!!!!!!!1!)
I love this website :D
As a 12 year old male I would like to say FUCK YOU to everyone else posting in this space.
mai naime is brandon and iam only elevene and i am no 12 so im not invading internet sory my english no god
I am 10, so this doesn't have any effect. When I become 12, uh-oh. - an unusual 10 year old
I'm a regular twelve year old kid, problem? Don't make me introduce Mr.TROLL. Unlike many retards which you stereotyped us for, I'm one of the few rare kids, who doesn't listen to R.A.P (Retards attempting poetry) or Hip-Hop, I'm a classic 1960's kid born in the year 1999. PROBLEM?
12 year olds are probably to busy getting owned at World Of Warcraft to read this article.
Hey it ok 2 watch gay porn, seriously, and really also this page is retarted! and im 13 so if u 11-13 and gay or bi email me: email@example.com.
12 year old are good kids but we're curious about things. I watch gay porn cause i like it and i masturbate to it to. and really. terrorism. cause 12 year old can make a big plane wreck into buildings. really. and a 12 year old can hijack a plane. we cant get on a plane without a parent with us or approval by a parent stupid. so our parents would know were planning.
Kids that are 12 like to get on the internet becauuse they want to learn. They want to explare pornography and gay pornagraphy and lesbian pornagraphy. Its normal.
Really, we are planning terroism. O yea. Let me tell you. Us 12 year olds can make a big splash on bombing important places. Ass holes
Hey, I'm twelve, and I'm on the internet, so what? I'm probably smarter than you. Yeah, I'm incredibly literate compared to the kids above. Let's see, I'm 12 and in the eighth grade, I'm in honors classes, and I was elevated from 4th to 6th. That's right, I skipped a grade. Shut your mouth, you think you're smarter than all 12 year-olds, huh? You're not, and if you delete this you're to immature to listen to the opponent, something that all the people here are doing.
—an avid 12 year old
If you were smarter, you wouldn't be in this corner of the internet, would you? - 12 year olds attempt to defend themselves.
Im so happy Im gonna be 13 next week. I cant stand being 12 anymore .
this is the most stereotypical article i've read. i'm 12 and one thing i can say is tat indubitably, all 12 year olds aren't like this.
You know, posters above me, this is Unclycopedia. They're mean to everyone. Jews, Americans, Mormons..et cetera. I suddenly feel that all you other "twelve year olds" are not twelve... you're pretending to be for the sake of funnyness. But I'm just a stupid eleven yearold! ignore me!
I am 12, and I think that this article is very stereotypical. I am an administrator of a server hosted by Cheeto Community in CS2D, and I am just letting you all know that all 12 year olds aren't retarded. There are some mature 12 year olds who may appear as if they are adults. I am a straight A student, and I think that this article is much more retarded than I am. -Starfflame of the CC
im NOT 12 i ares 13!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i love playing world of warcraft, aNd call of duty MW2!!!!!!!!!! im soz leetz i is levels 75s, i love saying the N word on call of duty cuz i think it makes me sound older, cooler, and mature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am 12 and only u losers would rite watever the hell a "quagmire" is..... u losers probably got tht idea off of pokemon or yugio or sumthing tht only faggots play! u guys have nothing better to do than insult 12 year olds. get a life u freaking losers! only u fags would insult a 12 year old! u guys really need 2 look in the mirror cuz u r prolly nerds tht cant get a date and still live with their mommy!! get a freaking life u homos!
Quagmire is from Family Guy. The best comedy ever, except for south park!
i miss being 12, it was a good excuse to do really obviously stupid things, i quote: "help me put these hot-rod flames an the car! it will make it go faster!" "whats your scientific basis for that?" "im 12"
—A 13 year old
Oh My God i have realized i am a 12 year old, well i am going to be thirteen soon so then i can laugh at the immature midgets
OMFG, Does this mean my little brother types 1337? I have to save him *leaves* NO! it's to late. Lol.
DUDE WHOEVER POSTED THIS A FUKIN GAY OMFG GET A LIFE AND QUIT HATING ON ME JUST KUZ IM 12
I'm a 12 yr old. . . And I don't get owned in W.O.W. I'm a lvl 80 death knight, and I'm a girl O.o . . .
it's actually quite funny how much your bothered by 12 year olds...And my mom actually doesn't live with me. I bet you feel awesome about that,huh? So,I just wanted you to know not all 12 year olds talk like there retarded cows. Okay,thanks.
LOL, I'm 12, but I find all the other 12 year old reactions to this page annoying but funny at the same time. Just please don't get too offended, my 12 yr old friends. This is only a joke. Anyway, we WILL be teens in a year. ;)
You p30ple a43 rlly mean and ur n00bz not us 12 y38r h8xorz plus 1337 is c00l ass faggot minge gays!!
lolz meh penorz hurtz nao k lol hehee fuc u lil wanky dick buijkg hehe lulz gehnorzz :c i am mad u r de lozer u can spell i mean i mean spell good fuck
Oh boy, here we go
i am 12 and what is this?
I'm twelve and I CAN SPELL!!! To the idiot who wrote this: Quit calling 12 year olds stupid! I'm gifted, not stupid. Not all 12 year olds watch po*n and only a few actually swear. This article is as stupid as the person who wrote it.
I am 15 and I just want to say:
Death to the infide... uh, I mean, 12 year olds!!
Hello, I am Vanessa, Viagra is good for you, you need viagra viagra 12187528413621uiwgefuyg sale at viagrasale.net (lol)
i can't help being 12 and retarded
To all you 12 year olds trying to defend yourselves, I find this article very funny because I am mature enough to get this is a joke and not some serious stuff. Lol, who put that there?
i can't help being 12 and reading the pedophiles book to love and pleasure
The internet poisoned my mind. Now I'm classy.
i am rly 0fnd by tis artcl ur jst mkng up lys abut us 12ers, ur jst jelsou
Well, guess what? I am not a bad speller! I don't talk n00bish, or flame random people. I have read to koill a mockingbird, and 1984 (Big Brother is always watching!). I am the very proof that I'm not a: 'oh ur a mega lsr u sck fck u' type or person Please don't edit this to make me sound stupid, or you just being as stupid as the 'others' as we more normal ones like to call them.
hey wow htsi areticle is saying that all people who are 12 years are dumb tbut that isnt true i'm 78 and i am dumb so why would u make this article this is stupid wow nice lol his is retraeded i hate this website its just stupid to insult 12 yr olds like tht i mean, why, would you do that ur just jealous because us i mean them 12 year olds are smarter than you wow.
i am 10 and when i'm 12 i'm never losing my virginity and 12 year olds up there need to stop acting retarded and get real. the one just above me is 12.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SATIRE!!! I find this article dull to my taste though. Apparently,overexposure to Black and Dead Baby comedy renders you immune. And frankly, it is true that unfortunately,[some]12 year olds are STUPID GRAMMAR NAZIS THAT FOOLISHLY ATTRACT PEDOPHILES AND ARE EVIL SPREADING TROLLS ALL OVER THE INTERNET!!! I beg pardon to exceptions. Anyway,any shit that believes that he/she is an exception is made of pure crap.And to those who made this article just to mock illiterate 12 year olds,shame on you HIPPOCRATES!On the other hand, if this was for laughs, everyone should then have an open mind and admit that sometimes you need to do some self-depreciation and laugh at your faults once in a while.Don't you agree?
-an 11 year old wishing a violent,gory,and bloody death to TROLLS OF ALL KINDS
U gys r rite. B-ing 12 iz sum diseeze or sumthing. 2 bad evry1 iz 12 for 1 year. 1337 iz ausome 2.
im a normal 12 yr old. like normal 12 yr olds i can hardly spell and i have pimples all over my face.. but proactiv helps with that, siriusly try it! oh nu...i spelled it 'siruisly' becase who doesnt like harry Potter! lol!!!! anyway...you have no right to bash me OR harry Potter because your just jealous taht u cant rite like JK Rowling...mhm, i said it!!! lol
U loosers not all 12 year olds are stupid...just coz we got a longer life in front of us...whoever made this must be well spastic, too. I bet you can't even spell, YOU RACIST WHITEYS!!!
Hmm, I swear I posted here before when I was ten. Now I'm twelve, so as I grow older I become even more retarded amirite?
I'm not sure myself whether any of the responses above are real or not but at least I know this one is. Anyway, if they're real then my age group is so pitifully idiotic I might just have to bury myself 'till I'm thirteen. Thankfully that's not too far away.
I do believe that the twelve year olds this page revolves around go to public school. I, myself, am home-schooled.To all other twelve year olds reading this page I urge you to actually say something intelligent instead of just proving these guys right!
Dare u mke fun of mee? i am teh 1337est pershun on teh interweebss!!!! dnt fck wit mee!!! i hav has enuff ov your shiitzz! i am going to soo you! say hai to my LOIERS! fcking n00bs fcking wit the 1337est person in teh univershhe
Don't come off as twelve. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. <<MEME<< Well, to start, I too am twelve years old. Thirteen on Independence Day. It's a shame, because America is just an asscrap on a map. I ain't even mad. <<MEME<< I'm female. I have a sense of humor; this article doesn't offend me whatsoever. I'm Grammar Hitler (just look at that semicolon usage. Fuck yeah. <<MEME<<). The other kiddies here who are claiming to be literate crack me up. The one kid was very convincing until he/she used "to" instead of "too." Sadface. <<MEME<< I like trolling. I like memes. I like being a hypocrite (I HATE YOU FOR BEING TWELVE. TROLOLOLOL). I like falcon punching people when I jump from high places... like a B0$$. Err, I actually do like porn. Lol. Not much I can say about that. What else? I haz no franz. ;-; Not because I'm twelve, but because I refuse to be acquainted with these puss balls, i.e., kids my age, especially the ones who posted above me. Okay. I think that's all. Yeah, bye.
Hello, as a twelve year old, I should indeed find this offensive. But honestly, I cannot help but agree. Some twelve year olds use improper grammar and spelling, and as a Grammar Nazi, I CANNOT accept this. So, please, go on and insult. You have the right to do so.
The Internet Liberation War
On February 12 2009, President George W. Bush launched Operation L.I.P (Liberate Internet from Pubeless children)in the hopes of forcing the aggressive 12th Annoying Children Regiment to retreat from the Internet. It involved a massive aerial bombardment of all Internet connections know to be used by 12 year olds, followed by the quick deployment of special forces into all major American cities to seize control of all public Internet connections. The 12th Regiment put up a fierce resistance however, and forced the Delta forces back through sustained UDS (under developed swearing) fire. After just 3 hours of fighting, the President declared the end of major combat, saying 'We all know the those little nitpickers have every right to show their views on the Internet, and before I start to look really stupid, I've decided to call off our forces until further notice.'
The less famous Operation B.I.T (Bloody Ignorant Twits) was launched by forces inside the United Kingdom shortly after, and was more successful, however many critics have noted that the annoying 12 year olds have since switched to Xbox Live tactics of shouting loudly about things they know bugger all about. Conspiracy theorists claim that a new weapon is in development to wipe out the annoying 12 year olds and may involve Colin Powell and Darth Vader, though this has been repeatedly denied by all governments (Although they did mention something big happening in the year 4000.