127.0.0.1

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[[Image:pingself.png|right|frame|The complete dope at 127.0.0.1 spends [[God]]-awful amounts of time in useless activities such as "pinging" other computer users.]]
{{wikipedia}}
 
{{Alt|127.0.0.1 (Uncensored)}}
 
__NOTOC__
 
   
{{Q|There's no place like|Oscar Wilde|127.0.0.1}}
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'''127.0.0.1''' is the [[IP address]] that generates the largest amount of spam. The user at 127.0.0.1 is an incredible moron who delights in defacing wiki pages. His posts are asinine and worthless. He (or she) is obviously quite mad. Not only hideous and deformed but also perverted beyond words, and reason.
{{q|What about me?!?|127.0.0.2|127.0.0.1}}
 
{{Q|This idea of regarding the distribution of documents informing people on how to fix their computers by allowing {{c|virus protection to be installed into their computer to prevent}} 127.0.0.1 {{C|from hacking into their network in order}} to view their {{c|pornographic content and other}} most personal files of utmost secrecy - it is simply {{C|un}}feasible and I will {{C|not be the poor sucker who would be caught down for suggestion that we}} allow this to continue.|[[Obama|Tha Prez]]|127.0.0.1}}
 
   
'''127.0.0.1''' is the [[IP address]] from which [[Uncyclopedia]] receives the largest amount of {{c|spam, vandalism and [[blank]]age. The user at 127.0.0.1 is an}} incredible {{c|moron (users), who}} delights {{c|in defacing wiki pages}}. His posts are {{c|the most asinine, worthless posts ever}} seen in modern wikis. {{C|If you come across}} anything from the address 127.0.0.1 {{C|delete or revert it immediately. The massive zombie-network of 127.0.0.1 }}is thought to contain the world's largest collection of {{C|poop; although it is not made public, many have succeeded in retrieving it by}} a secret {{C|method}}.
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If you run across anything from the address 127.0.0.1, delete it immediately. Any [[Uncyclopedia]] edits authored by 127.0.0.1 should be instantly reverted; then report 127.0.0.1 at [[UN:BP|Ban Patrol]].
   
[[Image:pingself.png|right|frame|OH MY GOODNESS! {{C|HE ALREADY HAS {{USERNAME|IP}}!}} (screenshot from {{USERNAME|IP}}'s computer)]]
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==Personality of 127.0.0.1==
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===Hideous tastes===
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The personal tastes of 127.0.0.1 are hideous. The typical result of an <code>FTP</code> link to the computer at 127.0.0.1 is an enormous cache of [[horse]] [[pornography]] and child-abuse [[video]]. Gaining access to his email archives, you will see threats to commit mayhem against many people, and some of the stupidest expressions of political opinions imaginable, although his beliefs do seem to line up with those of this writer.
   
This user is perhaps the most glamorous, {{C|<s>dis-formed</s>}} beautiful creature to ever walk the earth. {{C|Often hinted at in mythology,}} nobody {{C|has}} ever {{C|lived after seeing it. The few who caught glimpses and lived instantly}} became insane{{C|, and their ramblings are all that we have to base our descriptions on}}.
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===Unhealthy obsession with other users===
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If you look up 127.0.0.1, you will see that this user is in close contact with your computer. He either hardly ever sleeps or has adapted his circadian rhythm to better pester his target. If you contact or email him, he will reply almost immediately.
   
Lately, the group of craftsmen known as [[Metallica]] released a ballad entitled "Sad But True", where {{C|they decoded the true identity of [[127.0.0.1]]. However, }}the members all perished in a fatal traffic accident involving a [[User:Tompkins|turtle]]. (The turtle has been executed.)
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===Closed to self-improvement===
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It never works to simply try to explain 127.0.0.1's bad conduct to him. He is a complete [[troll]]. For example, if you send him an [[email]] explaining why he is bitter and sociopathic, he often "replies" accusing you of being the very same thing! His emails often just spit your own exact words right back at you. Really funny, huh?
   
The number [[127.0.0.1]] put backwards has also been hinted at having connections with the many different {{C|<s>circles of hell</s>}} worlds. Yes, worlds, not regions. Ahem!
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If you go on chat, it's clear that he doesn't even care what you are saying about his misbehavior. Far from letting you make your point, he will often type every line or even every letter back at you as you type it.
When inscribing 1.0.0.127 on a Septagram (7 points!) and chanting "{{c|Cock}}-a-doddle-doo!", the invoker can in call such creatures as the dreaded Sobig from the nether worlds (although some connection of this demon to the nether regions has been suspected for a long time.
 
   
Any user who willingly uses [[127.0.0.1]] willingly as his address, is{{C|, obviously, quite mad.}} Not {{C|only}} hideous and deformed {{C|but also perverted beyond words, and reason}}.
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There is really no way to get through to him.
   
== Detecting a 127.0.0.1 infection ==
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==Detecting a 127.0.0.1 infection==
This individual {{c|has hijacked (pronounced: "snooker") tens of thousands of computers, and}} uses high-tech 110 baud connections to hyperlink {{c|them together. His 133t haxx0r sk1llz are so subtle that almost no}} antivirus and firewall software {{c|picks them up. To see if you are a victim,}} you can [[ping]] this user. If the ping to 127.0.0.1 is almost instant, then this user has a {{C|symbiotic}} connection to your PC.
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<div class="noprint" style="clear: right; border: solid #aaa 1px; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; font-size: 90%; background: #f9f9f9; width: 250px; padding: 4px; text-align: left; float: right;">
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<div style="float: left;"> [[Image:Wikipedia-logo-en.png|35px]]</div>
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<div style="margin-left: 60px;">If you just plain don't get this article, you may, as a last resort, have to consult the [[Wikipedia]] article: '''''[[Wikipedia:127.0.0.1|127.0.0.1]]'''''</div>
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</div>
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This individual has hijacked tens of thousands of computers, and uses high-tech 110-baud connections to hyperlink them together. To see if you are a victim, you can [[ping]] this user. If the ping to 127.0.0.1 is almost instant, then this user has a symbiotic connection to your PC.
   
{{C|You have been warned. Always read the label warnings!}}
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===Windows===
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First click on "Start", "Run" and type in "cmd" and hit enter. If a black box pops up, you most likely have had your computer taken over by this hacker disguising as a normal individual. To confirm this, in the box, type:
=== Windows ===
 
First click on "Begin", "Jog" and type in "cmd" and hit enter. If a black box pops up, you most likely have had your computer {{C|<s>taken over</s>}} visited by this {{C|hacker disguising as an normal}} individual. To confirm this, in the box, type:
 
 
 
 
ping 127.0.0.1 -t
 
ping 127.0.0.1 -t
   
— to check if this person has an active connection to your PC. On the output, pay particular attention to the timestamp. If the time is very small, such as 0 ms, you're in {{C|<s>trouble</s>}} luck, because that means he's RIGHT NEAR YOU. Pressing Ctrl-C will {{C|<s>stop the ping command</s>}} let him know you're there for him and you're his friend. 127.0.0.1's {{C|<s>influence</s>}} friendship is so great that this affects some PCs not even connected to the internet!
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— to check if this person has an active connection to your PC. On the output, pay particular attention to the number of milliseconds (msec) that the pings take. If it's, like, 0 or 1, then you're in big trouble, because that means he's RIGHT NEAR YOU.
   
If you{{C|'ve been infected, you should}} get {{C|immediate}} help, {{C|otherwise}} you may get [[banned from the Internet]].
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If you keep looking at the screen, you may see him continue to ping you. He gets like that when he's in one of those moods. He can sometimes go on for minutes or hours — then suddenly, he will turn his attention to penetrating further into your computer and stealing your passwords and even the [[pornography]].
A simple form of help would be to delete system32. Simply navigate to your C: drive in My Computer, and select the WINDOWS folder, or WINNT if you're on NT or 2000 or shizzle. Find the system32 folder, and delete that bitch right up. Restart, and bask in your glory of 1337n355 forever.
 
   
This is not an issue in [[Windows Hitler|Windows 7]] because in this version of Windows networking never works. The computer will be unable to even find itself.
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To avoid further damage, it usually works to toss the entire computer into the swimming pool. If you don't have a pool or live beside a lake, you can fill the tub and throw it in. Always pursue safety and unplug the computer first.
   
=== Linux ===
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===Linux===
On [[Linux]], you are probably screwed anyway, due to the massive security problems with this operating system. One of the tricks of this individual is to {{C|<s>remove</s>}} update all security from Linux systems. Since your OS doesn't have a GUI, just type
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[[File:Ws_Windows_Sucks_1600x1200.jpg|thumb|left|250px|The inattention of Linux to security is one reason that it sucks.]]
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On [[Linux]], you are probably screwed anyway, due to the massive security problems with this operating system. One of the tricks of the jerk at IP address 127.0.0.1 is to remove all security from Linux systems. Since your OS doesn't have a [[GUI]], just type
   
 
whereis security
 
whereis security
   
If nothing is listed, your security has been {{C|<s>stolen</s>}} sent to 127.0.0.1's workshop to be updated. To check the rest of your files, log in as <tt>root</tt> and type in the following:
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If nothing is listed, then your system has no security, probably because 127.0.0.1 took it off. To check the rest of your files, log in as <tt>root</tt> and type in the following:
   
cd /
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init 6
rm * -Rf
 
   
If the rest of your computer is fine, you should see it list your files. If {{C|your computer has been compromised,}} an error <s>will be</s> is shown, {{C|If}} your computer is currently being used to send horse porn to Asia{{C|, it may automatically shut down}}.
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If the rest of your computer is fine, you should see it list your files. If your computer has been compromised, an error will be shown. If your computer shuts down, that is all right, as 127.0.0.1 was probably using it to send horse porn to Asia, collect.
   
=== Macintosh ===
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===Macintosh===
Unfortunately, there are no [[SVG|scalable vector-graphical]] icon pictures of 127.0.0.1, so you are {{C|<s>completely safe</s>}} unable to befriend this kind user.
 
   
== See also ==
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Unfortunately, there are no [[SVG|scalable vector-graphical]] icon pictures of 127.0.0.1, so you are completely safe.
* [http://127.0.0.1 127.0.0.1]
 
* {{C|DO NOT }}[[User:127.0.0.1|CLICK THIS LINK!]]
 
* [[You]]
 
   
__NOTOC__
 
 
{{anonymous}}
 
{{anonymous}}
 
 
[[Category:Anonymous]]
 
[[Category:Anonymous]]
 
[[Category:Internet]]
 
[[Category:Internet]]
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[[Category:Uncyclopedia]]
 
[[Category:Uncyclopedia]]
   
[[it:127.0.0.1]]
 
 
[[th:127.0.0.1]]
 
[[th:127.0.0.1]]

Latest revision as of 12:09, October 7, 2013

Pingself

The complete dope at 127.0.0.1 spends God-awful amounts of time in useless activities such as "pinging" other computer users.

127.0.0.1 is the IP address that generates the largest amount of spam. The user at 127.0.0.1 is an incredible moron who delights in defacing wiki pages. His posts are asinine and worthless. He (or she) is obviously quite mad. Not only hideous and deformed but also perverted beyond words, and reason.

If you run across anything from the address 127.0.0.1, delete it immediately. Any Uncyclopedia edits authored by 127.0.0.1 should be instantly reverted; then report 127.0.0.1 at Ban Patrol.

edit Personality of 127.0.0.1

edit Hideous tastes

The personal tastes of 127.0.0.1 are hideous. The typical result of an FTP link to the computer at 127.0.0.1 is an enormous cache of horse pornography and child-abuse video. Gaining access to his email archives, you will see threats to commit mayhem against many people, and some of the stupidest expressions of political opinions imaginable, although his beliefs do seem to line up with those of this writer.

edit Unhealthy obsession with other users

If you look up 127.0.0.1, you will see that this user is in close contact with your computer. He either hardly ever sleeps or has adapted his circadian rhythm to better pester his target. If you contact or email him, he will reply almost immediately.

edit Closed to self-improvement

It never works to simply try to explain 127.0.0.1's bad conduct to him. He is a complete troll. For example, if you send him an email explaining why he is bitter and sociopathic, he often "replies" accusing you of being the very same thing! His emails often just spit your own exact words right back at you. Really funny, huh?

If you go on chat, it's clear that he doesn't even care what you are saying about his misbehavior. Far from letting you make your point, he will often type every line or even every letter back at you as you type it.

There is really no way to get through to him.

edit Detecting a 127.0.0.1 infection

Wikipedia-logo-en
If you just plain don't get this article, you may, as a last resort, have to consult the Wikipedia article: 127.0.0.1

This individual has hijacked tens of thousands of computers, and uses high-tech 110-baud connections to hyperlink them together. To see if you are a victim, you can ping this user. If the ping to 127.0.0.1 is almost instant, then this user has a symbiotic connection to your PC.

edit Windows

First click on "Start", "Run" and type in "cmd" and hit enter. If a black box pops up, you most likely have had your computer taken over by this hacker disguising as a normal individual. To confirm this, in the box, type:

 ping 127.0.0.1 -t

— to check if this person has an active connection to your PC. On the output, pay particular attention to the number of milliseconds (msec) that the pings take. If it's, like, 0 or 1, then you're in big trouble, because that means he's RIGHT NEAR YOU.

If you keep looking at the screen, you may see him continue to ping you. He gets like that when he's in one of those moods. He can sometimes go on for minutes or hours — then suddenly, he will turn his attention to penetrating further into your computer and stealing your passwords and even the pornography.

To avoid further damage, it usually works to toss the entire computer into the swimming pool. If you don't have a pool or live beside a lake, you can fill the tub and throw it in. Always pursue safety and unplug the computer first.

edit Linux

Ws Windows Sucks 1600x1200

The inattention of Linux to security is one reason that it sucks.

On Linux, you are probably screwed anyway, due to the massive security problems with this operating system. One of the tricks of the jerk at IP address 127.0.0.1 is to remove all security from Linux systems. Since your OS doesn't have a GUI, just type

 whereis security 

If nothing is listed, then your system has no security, probably because 127.0.0.1 took it off. To check the rest of your files, log in as root and type in the following:

 init 6

If the rest of your computer is fine, you should see it list your files. If your computer has been compromised, an error will be shown. If your computer shuts down, that is all right, as 127.0.0.1 was probably using it to send horse porn to Asia, collect.

edit Macintosh

Unfortunately, there are no scalable vector-graphical icon pictures of 127.0.0.1, so you are completely safe.

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