11 (number)
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Eleven is the eleventh number in the Indo-Arabic numbering system. It follows ten and -more distantly - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and 9. Eleven is the fourth character in the hebrew system because the hebrew system is written backwards. Yes, it sounds crazy but it really makes more sense if you think about it.
“It's ridiculous. It's not even funny.”
~ Oscar Wilde on 11
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[edit] History
The concept of eleven originated in the middle east, a region which, through extraordinary forethought on the part of its people, got all its social and technological advancement out of the way before 1640 A.D. so that they'd have the rest of millennium off to get down to the real fun, squalor and murderousness. Persian astronomers used the number eleven to describe the number of planets. Utilizing such an advanced numerological concept to describe the natural world is, of course, what made the persian empire so advanced for its day. In fact, modern astrologists are just catching up to the theory of defining heavenly forms with eleven. In fact, persian astronomers were so proud of they created a constellation of it. Eleven was first introduced into western culture by soccer hooligans during the early 18th century. At that time, increasing urban center population began to cause ned squads to rise above the traditional three-to-four chavvies that they had maintained since the collapse of the Roman Empire. Naturaly, an increase of 8 neds absolutely destroyed the traditional organizational system in place, and the invention of a new number eluded even the brightest football fans. It wasn't until the locan squads started buying their dope from that turkish guy down the street that they began to use eleven in conversation.
[edit] Common Usage (Vulgaris Ritus)
Many things can be described by the number eleven. Eleven cats, eleven tigerfish, an eleven-dollar-bill, a dozen eggs (if you eat one), ten gorillas in a volkswagen plus one in the trunk. So many things can be counted with eleven it would be faster for me to tell you things which can't be described by eleven. These include:
- a sack of corn meal
- an "admit one" cupon valid at any participating location
- triplets
- six of this one
- players on a cricket team
- half a dozen of the others
- sometimes things that are moving around can be hard to count, so it's better to say "some" or "a few"
- Benjamins
- The ancient 11osaurus
[edit] The future of eleven
Many esteemed natural philosophers (citation needed) in recent decades have questioned the necessity of eleven. The argument usually goes something like "Eleven's not even a real number, it's just two ones stuck together." The No-11 team made quite a bit of headway in the late 1977's, culminating in a statement issued by the World Numerological Organization stripping 11 of its number status. Two weeks later, in response to mass protests, the WNO issued another, quieter (in smaller font) statement rescinding the previous order.
