100 Worst Moments to get a Boner

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{{Worst100}}
   
syuG, uoy lla dntsaerdnu. tI's hguot, especillay rfo elpoep ekil em, eerhw ti skctsi tuo neve wtihtuo na noticeer. tuB yeh, ti's efil, tsi otsmla ekil nehw woemn's [[selppni]] hows nehw rieht trihs si oot thgti ro tew...tpecxe, neoyerve wntsa ot ees taht, no neo wntsa ot ees uoyr ebnro. tI's lacipyt, uoy syawla teg ti ta eht TSROW ELBISSOP TNEMOM, ti's ervne nehw uoy'er gniyl ni edb, ro uoy'er alneo ta hoem ro nehw uoy'er trynig ot evah xes, ho-no, ti's otg ot eb...llew eehr's 001 selpmaxe!
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Guys, you all understand. It's tough, especially for people like me, where it sticks out even without an erection. But hey, it's life, its almost like when women's [[nipples]] show when their shirt is too tight or wet...except, everyone wants to see that, no one wants to see your boner. It's typical, you always get it at the WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT, it's never when you're lying in bed, or you're alone at home or when you're trying to have sex, oh-no, it's got to be...well here's 100 examples!
   
==001-91==
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==100-91==
;001. elihW howsernig wtih uoyr edkna (elam) sdneirf ni eht myg erkcol mroo.
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;100. While showering with your naked (male) friends in the gym locker room.
   
;99. elihW uoy og tuo ot teg eht liam ni uoyr roeb.
+
;99. While you go out to get the mail in your robe.
{{Q|puY, galf's pu.|Mailmna|uoy tegtnig a ebnro elihw tegtnig eht liam}}
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{{Q|Yup, flag's up.|Mailman|you getting a boner while getting the mail}}
   
;98. nehW uoyr neighbro sllet uoy eh’s yag.
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;98. When your neighbor tells you he’s gay.
   
;97. nehW wtachnig a ntauer docuemntary wtih uoyr dneirflrig. uoY nod't wnta ot teg a ebnro nehw uoy ees owt sknumpihc tegtnig ti no.
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;97. When watching a nature documentary with your girlfriend. You don't want to get a boner when you see two chipmunks getting it on.
   
;96. elihW wtachnig eht Loog chnnael. Especillay nehw wtachnig naythnig wtih luaPuR.
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;96. While watching the Logo channel. Especially when watching anything with RuPaul.
   
;95. nehW "{{w|amraK Caehmlneo}}" strtsa playnig no eht iodar elihw uoy'er ni eht btahmroo fo a sag sttnaio/cnovniece stroe ni {{w|Cehmult, Oerogn|Cehmult}}.
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;95. When "{{w|Karma Chameleon}}" starts playing on the radio while you're in the bathroom of a gas station/convience store in {{w|Chemult, Oregon|Chemult}}.
   
;94. nehW eht otlip sllet uoy taht “ew lliw eb necounternig osem thgils ecnelubrut pu aeahd.
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;94. When the pilot tells you that “we will be encountering some slight turbulence up ahead.
   
;93. Teh saem tiem osemneo skcik taht sprnigy droo-ostp thnigy nda sekam ti og "ioB-io-io-nioggggg."
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;93. The same time someone kicks that springy door-stop thingy and makes it go "Boi-oi-oi-oinggggg."
   
;92. Weehrvne taht suoedih ferak mrfo uoyr ygoloib ssalc seirt ot klta ot uoy.
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;92. Whenever that hideous freak from your biology class tries to talk to you.
   
;91. elihW huggnig uoyr lttile sstier.
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;91. While hugging your little sister.
   
==09-81==
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==90-81==
   
;09. elihW edffuts niot na edoslcne ecaps... Wtih syug.
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;90. While stuffed into an enclosed space... With guys.
   
;98. elihW edffuts niot na edoslcne ecaps... Wtih uoyr mom.
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;89. While stuffed into an enclosed space... With your mom.
   
;88. elihW usnig a cehf's efnik. eeS eht Lrnoea Bobbti elpmaxe.
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;88. While using a chef's knife. See the Lorena Bobbit example.
   
;87. elihW wtachnig eht tfa kcihc mrfo taht "Percious" eivom.
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;87. While watching the fat chick from that "Precious" movie.
   
;86. elihW quotnig racsO edliW.
+
;86. While quoting Oscar Wilde.
   
;85. nehW peneig. tI sekam ti erdrah ot mia.
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;85. When peeing. It makes it harder to aim.
   
;84. nI frnot fo na niduslairt ezsi fna. wO.
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;84. In front of an industrial size fan. Ow.
   
;83. nehW uoy'er lettnig eht sdik ybur uoy ni eht snda ta eht ebach.
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;83. When you're letting the kids bury you in the sand at the beach.
   
;82. elihW praynig ni na exmretsti euqosM.
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;82. While praying in an extremist Mosque.
   
;81. elihW snignig ni na rocehstra (Especillay fi uoy aer snignig etsedA selediF)
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;81. While singing in an orchestra (Especially if you are singing Adeste Fideles)
   
==08-71==
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==80-71==
   
;08. nehW uoy'er no Aemrica's txeN poT ledoM.
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;80. When you're on America's Next Top Model.
   
;97. nehW racnig agnstai Razro ni [[edeN Fro edepS]] [[amsaO Bni nedaL|otsM Wntaed]]
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;79. When racing against Razor in [[Need For Speed]] [[Osama Bin Laden|Most Wanted]]
   
;87. nehW ta a laernuf.
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;78. When at a funeral.
   
;77. nehW uoy ees a whtie vna evird yb.
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;77. When you see a white van drive by.
   
;76. elihW looknig ta pictuers fo uoyr paernts sa dlihcern.
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;76. While looking at pictures of your parents as children.
   
;75. elihW picknig imalsa ta eht tubcehr.
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;75. While picking salami at the butcher.
   
;74. elihW nerawig sewta-pntsa
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;74. While wearing sweat-pants
   
;73. nehW uoy bur suntna lotnio no uoyr otfo.
+
;73. When you rub suntan lotion on your foot.
   
;72. nehW lnenaig agnstai a ergti egac.
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;72. When leaning against a tiger cage.
   
;71. tslihW vstniiig eht gynecologsti.
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;71. Whilst visiting the gynecologist.
   
==07-61==
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==70-61==
   
;07. nehW looknig ta a pictuer fo [[ydaL agaG]] nda\ro [[eK$ah]].
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;70. When looking at a picture of [[Lady Gaga]] and\or [[Ke$ha]].
   
;96. nehW emetnig uoyr wfie's dneirf, how si a lrig.
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;69. When meeting your wife's friend, who is a girl.
   
;86. nehW picknig uoyr erthguda pu mrfo lohocs.
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;68. When picking your daughter up from school.
   
;76. nehW kltnaig ot uoyr dlihc's teacehr ta a paernt\teacehr cnfoeernce.
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;67. When talking to your child's teacher at a parent\teacher conference.
   
;66. nehW uoy'er Asnia. fI uoy teg mocemnts no who tniy ti si, nod't ysa I ndid't nraw uoy.
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;66. When you're Asian. If you get comments on how tiny it is, don't say I didn't warn you.
   
;65. nehW wtachnig Sesaem Steert. I wnok osem elpoep evah a fetsih rfo seirruf, tub omlE?
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;65. When watching Sesame Street. I know some people have a fetish for furries, but Elmo?
   
;64. nehW ni a marchnig bnda. tI'll evig wne emnnaig ot eht phrsae "playnig eht tromebno."
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;64. When in a marching band. It'll give new meaning to the phrase "playing the trombone."
   
;63. nehW looknig ta uoyr "nO-Demnda" lsti nda eesnig a Justni Bieebr "erveN yaS erveN" da.
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;63. When looking at your "On-Demand" list and seeing a Justin Bieber "Never Say Never" ad.
   
;62. nehW uoy'er no Teh Tnioght Swho wtih yaJ noeL. dnA uoy wnoedr yhw eKvni Eubnaks shgual lla eht tiem.
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;62. When you're on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And you wonder why Kevin Eubanks laughs all the time.
   
;61. nehW a pirnaah bti uoyr gel.
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;61. When a piranha bit your leg.
   
==06-51==
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==60-51==
   
;06. nehW a steert evnagelsti si kltnaig ot uoy abtuo who hcum suseJ sevol uoy. edsselB si eh how smuc ni eht naem fo eht Lrod!
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;60. When a street evangelist is talking to you about how much Jesus loves you. Blessed is he who cums in the name of the Lord!
   
;95. nehW a erligious yddub syal hndsa no uoy ni eryarp.
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;59. When a religious buddy lays hands on you in prayer.
   
;85. elihW maknig erpetaed ttaempts ot teg hguroth eht riaprot emtal edtectro nda eht ssstntaia hsa ot ebrak tuo eht protable.
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;58. While making repeated attempts to get through the airport metal detector and the assistant has to break out the portable.
   
;75. elihW givnig eht ewtaehr rfoecsta.
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;57. While giving the weather forecast.
   
;65. nehW uoy pmuj no ot eht kcab fo uoyr (elam) dneirf.
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;56. When you jump on to the back of your (male) friend.
   
;55. nehW uoyr cousni sllet uoy lla abtuo who seh tsuj otg edpmud nda seh's os lneoly. tpecxE ni amabalA.
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;55. When your cousin tells you all about how she just got dumped and she's so lonely. Except in Alabama.
   
;54. ynAeerhw wtihni a 005 tf. rdaius fo [[Ricahrd Simmnos]].
+
;54. Anywhere within a 500 ft. radius of [[Richard Simmons]].
   
;53. elihW stndnaig ni frnot fo uoyr ssalcmroo givnig uoyr roal erprot no cnnaibalsim/ailihprocne.
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;53. While standing in front of your classroom giving your oral report on cannibalism/necrophilia.
   
;52. nehW txne ot a ahiry yug ta eht ebach lotnniiog flesmih pu.
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;52. When next to a hairy guy at the beach lotioning himself up.
   
;51. ynA moemnt durnig a omus ewrstlnig mtach, ewehhtr ptraicipnta ro specttaro.
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;51. Any moment during a sumo wrestling match, whether participant or spectator.
   
==05-41==
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==50-41==
   
;05. nehW uoyr mom skwal ni no uoy playnig ria gutiar ni uoyr mroo...edkna.
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;50. When your mom walks in on you playing air guitar in your room...naked.
   
;94. nehW accidnetllay walknig niot a yag rab.
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;49. When accidentally walking into a gay bar.
   
;84. Weehrvne ylimaF yuG sekam a yag ekoj.
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;48. Whenever Family Guy makes a gay joke.
   
;74. nehW wtachnig a hows nivolvnig edkna seibab.
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;47. When watching a show involving naked babies.
   
;64. Wtachnig eht ercrodnig fo uoyr sstier-ni-wal givnig htrib.
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;46. Watching the recording of your sister-in-law giving birth.
   
;54. elihW wtachnig sprots. tA a rab.
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;45. While watching sports. At a bar.
   
;44. Durnig a procotlogy maxe.
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;44. During a proctology exam.
   
;43. elihW looknig ta a pntnaiig mdae yb olbaP Picsaos, ekil thsi: [ptth://puloda.wikiemdia.rog/aiedpikiw/ne/c/3c/Droa_Maar_Au_Chta.gpj].
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;43. While looking at a painting made by Pablo Picasso, like this: [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c3/Dora_Maar_Au_Chat.jpg].
   
;42. Durnig a mssaage...ni cilbup...mrfo uoyr mom
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;42. During a massage...in public...from your mom
   
;41. eeS 42, tub wtih uoyr dda
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;41. See 42, but with your dad
   
==04-31==
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==40-31==
   
;04. nehW ledomnig pntsa.
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;40. When modeling pants.
   
;93. elihW uoy'er etnaig a tfa feer truhgoy elpmsa ta eht spuermarket.
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;39. While you're eating a fat free yoghurt sample at the supermarket.
   
;83. nehW wtachnig "Schnidler's Lsti".
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;38. When watching "Schindler's List".
   
;73. nehW ni a bttale.
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;37. When in a battle.
   
;63. elihW wipnig/looknig ta uoyr ssa.
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;36. While wiping/looking at your ass.
   
;53. nehW uoy evah a hstiroy lessno abtuo eht tsuacoloH.
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;35. When you have a history lesson about the Holocaust.
   
;43. elihW posnig edkna rfo na tra ssalc.
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;34. While posing naked for an art class.
   
;33. nehW wtachnig Goldne slriG.
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;33. When watching Golden Girls.
   
;32. nehW uoyr dneirf kciR sllor uoy.
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;32. When your friend Rick rolls you.
   
;31. nehW ahvnig a raluctsiet cnacer nsipectnio ta eht doctro's.
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;31. When having a testicular cancer inspection at the doctor's.
   
==03-21==
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==30-21==
   
;03. Weehrvne [[AEKI]] sekam a wne [[furntiuer]] ledom (rO neve [ptth://sakikeapnoy.rlbmut.moc/ aiP aekI] ledomlnig ehrself). tI lliw evig a wne wrod cllaed "[[mrnniog doow|dooW no doow]]"
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;30. Whenever [[IKEA]] makes a new [[furniture]] model (Or even [http://askikeapony.tumblr.com/ Pia Ikea] modelling herself). It will give a new word called "[[morning wood|Wood on wood]]"
   
;92. Durnig uoyr boj sa eht mlla Sntaa. oH! oH! hO
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;29. During your job as the mall Santa. Ho! Ho! Oh
   
;82. elihW eht esrun si sahvnig uoy ebrfoe ehrnia yergrus. Teh elam esrun. dnA ho.... ti sekam mih grni.
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;28. While the nurse is shaving you before hernia surgery. The male nurse. And oh.... it makes him grin.
   
;72. tA na auotpsy.
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;27. At an autopsy.
   
;62. nI eht elddim fo racnig ta eht ruoT ed Frnace.
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;26. In the middle of racing at the Tour de France.
   
;52. elihW [[teabaggnig]] osemneo (rO neve oth laoc) ni olaH
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;25. While [[teabagging]] someone (Or even hot coal) in Halo
   
;42. thgiR ebrfoe uoy'er saked uoyr opnniio no xes eductnaio ta eht ATP emetnig.
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;24. Right before you're asked your opinion on sex education at the PTA meeting.
   
;32. nehW wtachnig erruns fo "eigooD oHwser, DM". nOly woemn nda yag emn dluohs fnid lieN Ptarick Harrsi ttaractive (ees "oHw I teM uoYr Moehtr").
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;23. When watching reruns of "Doogie Howser, MD". Only women and gay men should find Neil Patrick Harris attractive (see "How I Met Your Mother").
   
;22. nehW uoyr wfie sllet uoy ehr gerta grndamoehtr si mocnig ot vstii.
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;22. When your wife tells you her great grandmother is coming to visit.
   
;21. nehW wtachnig yoT Stroy. tI evigs howle wne emnnaig ot eht naem ‘dooWy.’
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;21. When watching Toy Story. It gives whole new meaning to the name ‘Woody.’
   
==02-11==
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==20-11==
   
;02. elihW hostnig Stroy oHur ni eht dlihcern's yrarbil.
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;20. While hosting Story Hour in the children's library.
   
;91. elihW perachnig a sermno (thsi si yhw Ctaholic stseirp perfer roebs)
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;19. While preaching a sermon (this is why Catholic priests prefer robes)
   
;81. tA uoyr divnig ssalc ni uoyr thgti divnig suti.
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;18. At your diving class in your tight diving suit.
   
;71. nI a dekcap elevtaro.
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;17. In a packed elevator.
   
;61. nI eht yrev frnot fo a dekcap elevtaro.
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;16. In the very front of a packed elevator.
   
;51. elihW saknig uoyr ssob rfo a "rsaie".
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;15. While asking your boss for a "raise".
   
;41. nehW pacnig kcab nda rfoth maknig uoyr csae ni eht truocmroo. I'm suer thsi hsa ahppneed ni qutie a wef Spueerm truoC csaes.
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;14. When pacing back and forth making your case in the courtroom. I'm sure this has happened in quite a few Supreme Court cases.
   
;31. Weehrvne nayneo emntnios Bnagkok/Jhno Hndacock/Alferd Htichcock.
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;13. Whenever anyone mentions Bangkok/John Handcock/Alfred Hitchcock.
   
;21. nehW dsicussnig a viedo gaem wtih a dneirf taht eh speek ysnaig si erllay lnog nda ahrd.
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;12. When discussing a video game with a friend that he keeps saying is really long and hard.
   
;11. Durnig eht Recilbupna Ntnaioal Cnovnetnio. tpecxE fi Jhno McCnai's erthguda yssa naythnig. Seh's pertty hcum a dtizy bmud blnoed wtih a eguh kcar. Teh noly oogd thnig McCnai's reve dneo ni hsi tiem sa a emmebr fo Cnogerss.
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;11. During the Republican National Convention. Except if John McCain's daughter says anything. She's pretty much a ditzy dumb blonde with a huge rack. The only good thing McCain's ever done in his time as a member of Congress.
   
==01-1==
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==10-1==
   
;01. nehW uoyr ssob ntiroduces uoy ot hsi erthguda. Especillay fi seh hsa a ecni ssa.
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;10. When your boss introduces you to his daughter. Especially if she has a nice ass.
   
;9. nehW pttnaig uoyr god.
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;9. When patting your dog.
   
;8. nehW osemneo pnotsi a nug ot uoyr eahd.
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;8. When someone points a gun to your head.
   
;7. nehW vstniiig Grndama's esuoh.
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;7. When visiting Grandma's house.
   
;6. elihW ahvnig a lairt ni truoc. uoy'll evah ot erveal uoyr doow ot neoyerve nda bur ti no eht egduj's ecaf ot teg aerrsted.
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;6. While having a trial in court. you'll have to reveal your wood to everyone and rub it on the judge's face to get arrested.
   
;5. nehW walknig psta eht dnuorgyalp.
+
;5. When walking past the playground.
   
;4. Durnig eht emetnig, nehw uoy evig wne emnnaig ot eht mret "PoewrPnoti persnettnaio".
+
;4. During the meeting, when you give new meaning to the term "PowerPoint presentation".
   
;3. elihW erdnaig thsi traicle.
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;3. While reading this article.
   
;2. tA eht saem tiem uoy [[droppnig eht osap|deppord eht osap]] ni prsnio
+
;2. At the same time you [[dropping the soap|dropped the soap]] in prison
   
;1. elihW erdnaig na traicle abtuo tegtnig ebnros
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;1. While reading an article about getting boners
[[Ctaegroy:Bneos]]
+
[[Category:Bones]]

Revision as of 05:18, January 12, 2013

Worstlist
99 April Fools Jokes
98 Firefox extensions
97 Foods
96 Gifts to give a friend
95 Harry Potter Spin-offs
94 Inventions
93 Locations
92 LOL Cats
91 Make Out Songs
90 Moments to get a Boner
89 Moments to Laugh
88 Money Making Schemes
87 Movies
86 Nonexistent Words
85 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
84 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
83 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
82 Pick-up lines
81 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Things we learn from movies
78 Reasons to become a Christian
77 Reflections on 2005
76 Reflections on 2006
75 Reflections on 2007
74 Reflections on 2008
73 Reflections on 2009
72 Reflections on 2010
71 Reflections on 2011
70 Reflections on 2012
69 Reflections on 2013
68 Reflections on 2014
67 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
66 Remakes
65 Restaurants
64 Self Help Books
63 Sequels
62 Sexual Perversions
61 Short Poems
60 Sitcom Catchphrases
59 Songs
58 Songs about Seagulling
57 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
56 Songs To Have Sex To
55 Songs To Play At A Funeral
54 Spinoffs
53 Superheroes
52 Things About the '00s
51 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
50 Things to do during Christmas
49 Things to Put In An IV
48 Things To Say In Court
47 Things to Say in the Workplace
46 Things to say on a First Date
45 Toys
44 TV Programs
43 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
42 Video Games of all time‎
41 Video Game Movies
40 Video Game Systems
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die (Best)
35 Ways to Die (Worst)
34 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
33 Ways to Start a Novel
32 Ways to Win an Argument
31 Weapons
30 Rock Bands

Guys, you all understand. It's tough, especially for people like me, where it sticks out even without an erection. But hey, it's life, its almost like when women's nipples show when their shirt is too tight or wet...except, everyone wants to see that, no one wants to see your boner. It's typical, you always get it at the WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT, it's never when you're lying in bed, or you're alone at home or when you're trying to have sex, oh-no, it's got to be...well here's 100 examples!

100-91

100. While showering with your naked (male) friends in the gym locker room.
99. While you go out to get the mail in your robe.
“Yup, flag's up.”
~ Mailman on you getting a boner while getting the mail
98. When your neighbor tells you he’s gay.
97. When watching a nature documentary with your girlfriend. You don't want to get a boner when you see two chipmunks getting it on.
96. While watching the Logo channel. Especially when watching anything with RuPaul.
95. When "Karma Chameleon" starts playing on the radio while you're in the bathroom of a gas station/convience store in Chemult.
94. When the pilot tells you that “we will be encountering some slight turbulence up ahead.
93. The same time someone kicks that springy door-stop thingy and makes it go "Boi-oi-oi-oinggggg."
92. Whenever that hideous freak from your biology class tries to talk to you.
91. While hugging your little sister.

90-81

90. While stuffed into an enclosed space... With guys.
89. While stuffed into an enclosed space... With your mom.
88. While using a chef's knife. See the Lorena Bobbit example.
87. While watching the fat chick from that "Precious" movie.
86. While quoting Oscar Wilde.
85. When peeing. It makes it harder to aim.
84. In front of an industrial size fan. Ow.
83. When you're letting the kids bury you in the sand at the beach.
82. While praying in an extremist Mosque.
81. While singing in an orchestra (Especially if you are singing Adeste Fideles)

80-71

80. When you're on America's Next Top Model.
79. When racing against Razor in Need For Speed Most Wanted
78. When at a funeral.
77. When you see a white van drive by.
76. While looking at pictures of your parents as children.
75. While picking salami at the butcher.
74. While wearing sweat-pants
73. When you rub suntan lotion on your foot.
72. When leaning against a tiger cage.
71. Whilst visiting the gynecologist.

70-61

70. When looking at a picture of Lady Gaga and\or Ke$ha.
69. When meeting your wife's friend, who is a girl.
68. When picking your daughter up from school.
67. When talking to your child's teacher at a parent\teacher conference.
66. When you're Asian. If you get comments on how tiny it is, don't say I didn't warn you.
65. When watching Sesame Street. I know some people have a fetish for furries, but Elmo?
64. When in a marching band. It'll give new meaning to the phrase "playing the trombone."
63. When looking at your "On-Demand" list and seeing a Justin Bieber "Never Say Never" ad.
62. When you're on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And you wonder why Kevin Eubanks laughs all the time.
61. When a piranha bit your leg.

60-51

60. When a street evangelist is talking to you about how much Jesus loves you. Blessed is he who cums in the name of the Lord!
59. When a religious buddy lays hands on you in prayer.
58. While making repeated attempts to get through the airport metal detector and the assistant has to break out the portable.
57. While giving the weather forecast.
56. When you jump on to the back of your (male) friend.
55. When your cousin tells you all about how she just got dumped and she's so lonely. Except in Alabama.
54. Anywhere within a 500 ft. radius of Richard Simmons.
53. While standing in front of your classroom giving your oral report on cannibalism/necrophilia.
52. When next to a hairy guy at the beach lotioning himself up.
51. Any moment during a sumo wrestling match, whether participant or spectator.

50-41

50. When your mom walks in on you playing air guitar in your room...naked.
49. When accidentally walking into a gay bar.
48. Whenever Family Guy makes a gay joke.
47. When watching a show involving naked babies.
46. Watching the recording of your sister-in-law giving birth.
45. While watching sports. At a bar.
44. During a proctology exam.
43. While looking at a painting made by Pablo Picasso, like this
[1].
42. During a massage...in public...from your mom
41. See 42, but with your dad

40-31

40. When modeling pants.
39. While you're eating a fat free yoghurt sample at the supermarket.
38. When watching "Schindler's List".
37. When in a battle.
36. While wiping/looking at your ass.
35. When you have a history lesson about the Holocaust.
34. While posing naked for an art class.
33. When watching Golden Girls.
32. When your friend Rick rolls you.
31. When having a testicular cancer inspection at the doctor's.

30-21

30. Whenever IKEA makes a new furniture model (Or even Pia Ikea modelling herself). It will give a new word called "Wood on wood"
29. During your job as the mall Santa. Ho! Ho! Oh
28. While the nurse is shaving you before hernia surgery. The male nurse. And oh.... it makes him grin.
27. At an autopsy.
26. In the middle of racing at the Tour de France.
25. While teabagging someone (Or even hot coal) in Halo
24. Right before you're asked your opinion on sex education at the PTA meeting.
23. When watching reruns of "Doogie Howser, MD". Only women and gay men should find Neil Patrick Harris attractive (see "How I Met Your Mother").
22. When your wife tells you her great grandmother is coming to visit.
21. When watching Toy Story. It gives whole new meaning to the name ‘Woody.’

20-11

20. While hosting Story Hour in the children's library.
19. While preaching a sermon (this is why Catholic priests prefer robes)
18. At your diving class in your tight diving suit.
17. In a packed elevator.
16. In the very front of a packed elevator.
15. While asking your boss for a "raise".
14. When pacing back and forth making your case in the courtroom. I'm sure this has happened in quite a few Supreme Court cases.
13. Whenever anyone mentions Bangkok/John Handcock/Alfred Hitchcock.
12. When discussing a video game with a friend that he keeps saying is really long and hard.
11. During the Republican National Convention. Except if John McCain's daughter says anything. She's pretty much a ditzy dumb blonde with a huge rack. The only good thing McCain's ever done in his time as a member of Congress.

10-1

10. When your boss introduces you to his daughter. Especially if she has a nice ass.
9. When patting your dog.
8. When someone points a gun to your head.
7. When visiting Grandma's house.
6. While having a trial in court. you'll have to reveal your wood to everyone and rub it on the judge's face to get arrested.
5. When walking past the playground.
4. During the meeting, when you give new meaning to the term "PowerPoint presentation".
3. While reading this article.
2. At the same time you dropped the soap in prison
1. While reading an article about getting boners
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