0BC - 0AD
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- This is an article pertaining to time. If you are interested in numbers, you may be looking for 0 (number).
This page is a member of the Uncyclopedia Timeline. If an event isn't listed in the timeline, it most likely happened.
Represented here are the time periods from 0BC to 0AD.
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0 is a very special number. 0 is the number of times Zac Efron is going to get laid, and also the number of times I talk to anyone on RuneScape who isnt a noob...
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[edit] 0BC
0 BC was the dawn of the This Time Doesn't Exist age of thinking. A contrived philosophy, which was characterized by scepticism and reluctance to believe that everyone and everything that was seemingly happening and/or existing. This way of thinking was likely precipitated by the sudden, accidental arrival of Barbara Eden and the rest of the cast of I Dream of Jeannie, who were looking for a really dry Martini and took a wrong turn on the freeway. Or, other theorists suggest, the simple fact that at some point in the future Homer Simpson would write "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING" as his quote in his high school yearbook.
Or, it's possible that 0BC was defined by oafish, hairy cavemen with little or no surgical dentistry skills.
0 is before the number 1 and after the number -1.
[edit] 0BC/0AD
- The entire universe spontaneously implodes at 14x10^28 times the speed of light, only to once again asplode at the same speed, one zeptosecond later, to the exact state it had been before the implosion.
- Billy Mays & Denica Fairman advertize a
.
- Ninjas just manage to keep up with events. How Pirates survive is unknown, although rum was likely involved.
- 0BC/0AD, March 25 -
- 0BC/0AD, June 25 - 6 Months before Christ (0.5BC)
- 0BC/0AD, September 25 - 3 Months before Christ (0.25BC)
- 0BC/0AD, December 24 - The first Christmas Eve.
- 0BC/0AD, December 25 - Jesus, the first celebrity, is born.
- 0BC/0AD, December 26 - 1 day after Jesus is born.
- 0BC/0AD, December 26 - Boxing is invented.
- 0BC/0AD, December 27 - 2 days after Jesus is born.
- 0BC/0AD, December 28 - Mary StranGles Jesus
- 0BC/0AD, December 30 - Jesus is reborn as a Female Jewish Muslim
- 0BC/0AD, December 30 - Gods evil scam starts by creating a man called Steve Jobs to invent products to take over the human race
- 0BC/0AD, December 26 - time goes backwards...1 day after Jesus was born again...
[edit] 0.1 BC
- The Whole World holds its breath. You're the only one who needed water.
- Solomon dies in a fit of extreme thinking, cheese blamed. his body then evaporates, killing thousands, cheese also blamed
[edit] 0.015 BC
- Your face. The world ends extremely quickly, then starts again, but it doesn't crash Half-Life. Nothing crashes Half Life, bitch.
“Get of my half-life bitch”
~ Chuck Norris on End of Half-Life
[edit] 0.0015 BC
- Bugs Bunny quotes for the first time "What's up Doc?", but no one gives a crap.
- Approximate time YHWH knocks up Mary.
- Carrier arrives, and the Zerg finally lose to the Protoss.
- Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks St Peter in the head and tells him to get out of his seat
The Universe collapses, only to be rebuilt in the year 0 BC and 0 AD simultaneously.
[edit] -0 A.D
- Sex is invented. Philosophers begin to wander if -0 is actually a number, or just a lame excuse to have a year with sex in it.
- Sex is huffed by Famine for being vanityshite.
[edit] 0+0i A.D
- The first Yaoi is found painted on ancient caves.
- Hitler meets Taurin Fox. The two end planning world takeover.
- You.
- This year is named in honor of George W. Bush's IQ.
- Hitler gets down with Tim Allen. Bob Dole is born
[edit] 0 A.D.
- January 1 - Spede Pasanen born.
- April 29 - Santa is born by Caesarian section after a difficult labour.
- All the humans died, and their two cows were set free, until penguin scientists were able to re-create human beings through the use of cloning technology. The penguins were then banished to the Moon until the year 3.14. The other animals quickly tried to find how to un-clone the humans, but only succeeded in giving the humans nuclear weapons, electricity, and advanced pasteurization techniques.
- Shortly afterwards, the Cheese War broke out and pretty soon everyone was miserable again.
- In 0 A.D. nobody was wearing double breasted suits.
- Jihad is declared on everything and everyone, for the four millionth time that century, everyone gets angry with them and more Jihads and placed. The first Dutch cartoonist decides to draw his feeling, biggest mistake of the non-century thing.
- Man loses the ability to mine for fish.
- Nobody cares, but Erick Guillermo was born this day.
- God goes to France.
- Jesus defeats the Romans.
- A guy is nailed to a tree for saying how neat it would be if people didn't kill each other all the time. The Jews, for some inexplicable reason, are blamed for killing him and spend the next several thousand years getting caught in the most unpleasant situations and killed.
- The year 0.01AD begins
- pi is discovered to be equal to exactly 3, so the pengins are brought back too early, only to be thrown away again in the year 802701 by the Russian government.
- Jesus dies of a heart attack, then resurects himself, because he forgot to lose his virginity before dying.
- Chuck Norris gains the ability to divide by zero, of course he always could, but this is the first time we know what zero is.
[edit] 0.001 AD
- Y0K software bug crashes all abacuses and ushers in 100,000 years of the Dark Ages.
[edit] 0.149 AD
“We totally didn't know about this year even though it didn't exist anyhow.”
~ AC/DC on The year .149
- There wasn't a year like this... this wasn't even a year.....
- AC/DC finds out about a year that contradicts this year.
- Captain Obvious brought into existence by the Obvious Bang.
[edit] 0.02659 AD
- A anime boy becomes pregnant with 5 men and 24 women, and he died.............................................................................................................................................
- Chuck Norris meets his first real competition against Bob Saget. Bob Saget punches Norris and Norris rips off one of Saget's testicles. It is later proven that Bob Saget did not actually make contact with Chuck Norris, just the air that was moved with Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
- On March 72nd, Johan Nygaardsvold invented overbuljongterningpakkemesterassistent.
