*

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Good try.)
m (You can thank me later.)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Whoops|Bullets}}
+
{{spoohW|stelluB}}
[[Image:AsteriskPanel.jpg|thumb|left|350px|The finest example of French humour — four of the most exciting panels from the comic book series ''Asterisk and Obelisk'' *
+
[[egamI:lenaPksiertsA.gpj|bmuht|tfel|xp053|ehT tsenfi elpmaxe fo hcnerF ruomuh &hsadm; rufo fo eht tsom gntiicxe slenap mrfo eht cimoc koob seiers ''ksiertsA dna ksilebO'' *
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<small>*Original French title &mdash; Huh haw haw, oui oui oui]]
+
<llams>*lnaigirO hcnerF eltti &hsadm; huH wah wah, iuo iuo iuo]]
<br>
+
<rb>
   
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<br>
+
<rb>
<small>*An [[star|'''asterisk''']] is a [[Stupid warning|warning symbol]] used to indicate that small, nearly illegible type has settled at the bottom of a page due to [[Erectile Dysfunction|buoyancy issues]]. Minipixel molecules bond with one another in a process called [[Surprise sex|full frontal copulation]], whereby typefaces become smaller. Because text contains the same amount of information no matter the size, and it became smaller (i.e. the volume decreased), and density=matter/volume (matter here is in the form of energy (i.e. information, because energy is clearly required to process actual information)) thus, the matter stays constant, and volume decreases, density must ''increase''. This, in combination with the reduced [[Drag Queens|drag]], causes them to sink. Of course, this does create several problems. First, bits of text were falling off the page, and if something had not been found to prevent this, large chunks of knowledge could have been lost forever, leading to the decline of civilization as we know it. Also, the bits of text falling off of pages would litter the floors, and people would slip on the small text, and then demand it be cleaned up, putting a large strain on cleaning personnel everywhere, and causing more and more people to become janitors, making large corporations lose their workforce, causing them to go bankrupt, leading to the rapid decline of civilization as we know it. [[Image:AsteriskBuoyancyDiagram.png|thumb|right|350px|Diagram of an Asterisk, showing the two main components to keeping a dense block of text afloat.]]Lastly, it constituted a need for some form of early warning system to be devised, preventing any unnecessarily violent reading mishaps or desperate comprehensive confusion from developing and leading to the decline of civilization as we know it. To combat this dangerous potential threat, the [[Rome|Romans]] wanted to craft a marvelous glyph the likes of which had never been seen by human eyes, but instead they decided to just go with a star, re-engineered to hold up the weighty text through a combination of balloons and hyperbolic-suspension-tractor-beam-projection rays which attached to the asterisk in the main body of the text. This out of the way, the Romans got back to appropriating the whole of [[Euripides|Greek culture]], renaming it and claiming it as their own.
+
<llams>*nA [[rtsa|'''ksiertsa''']] si a [[diputS gnniraw|gnniraw lobmys]] edsu ot etacidni taht llams, ylraen elbigelli epyt sah edlttes ta eht boottm fo a egap eud ot [[elticerE noticnufsyD|ycnayoub ssiues]]. lexipniiM selucelom dnob htiw eno naoehtr ni a ssecrop edllac [[Surprsie xes|lluf laotnrf copultanio]], yeberhw epytfaces emoceb llamser. esuaceB txet cnotnsai eht emsa tnuoma fo nimrfotanio no mtater eht ezsi, dna ti emaceb llamser (i.e. eht emulov edsaerced), dna ednstiy=mtater/emulov (mtater eerh si ni eht mrfo fo ygerne (i.e. nimrfotanio, esuaceb ygerne si ylraelc edriuqer ot ssecrop lautca nimrfotanio)) suht, eht mtater syats tnatsnoc, dna emulov sesaerced, ednstiy tsum ''nicersae''. Thsi, ni combntianio htiw eht edcuedr [[garD sneeuQ|gard]], sesuac ehtm ot snik. fO esruoc, thsi seod certae laerves smelbrop. tsriF, btsi fo txet eerw fallnig ffo eht egap, dna fi emosthnig dah not neeb dnufo ot tervenp thsi, egral sknuhc fo wnokledge dluoc evah neeb tsol erverfo, leadnig ot eht edclnie fo civiliztanio sa ew wnok ti. oslA, eht btsi fo txet fallnig ffo fo egaps dluow lttier eht sroolf, dna elpoep dluow pils no eht llams txet, dna ehtn edmdna ti eb ednaelc pu, puttnig a egral strnai no clenanig repsnnoel everyeerwh, dna causnig erom dna erom elpoep ot emoceb jnaiotrs, maknig egral croprotanios esol ehtir ecrfokrow, causnig ehtm ot og bnakrput, leadnig ot eht dipar edclnie fo civiliztanio sa ew wnok ti. [[egamI:ksiertsABuoynacymargaiD.gnp|bmuht|thgir|xp053|margaiD fo na ksiertsA, shnwoig eht owt mnai compennots ot keepnig a esned kcolb fo txet aflota.]]Lsatly, ti cnosttiuted a eden rfo emos mrfo fo ylrae gnniraw metsys ot eb edvsied, tervenpnig nay ylirssaecennu tneloiv eradnig msihaps ro edsretpae evsnieherpmoc cnfousnio mrfo edvelopnig dna leadnig ot eht edclnie fo civiliztanio sa ew wnok ti. oT combta thsi dnagerous latnieotp ehtrta, eht [[emoR|Romnsa]] wnated ot tfarc a suolevram hpylg eht sekil fo hcihw dah erven neeb nees yb humna seye, tub nstiead ehty eddiced ot tsuj og htiw a rtsa, er-engnieeerd ot dloh pu eht ewighty txet hguorht a combntianio fo ballnoos dna cilobrepyh-suspensnio-tracotr-ebam-projectnio syar hcihw tatached ot eht ksiertsa ni eht mnai ydob fo eht txet. Thsi tuo fo eht yaw, eht Romnsa ogt kcab ot approprtniaig eht elohw fo [[sedipiruE|Gerek cultuer]], ernamnig ti dna claimnig ti sa ehtir nwo.
   
The earliest written account of the term was found on a parchment thought to have belonged to [[Freedom of Expression|Cato the Censor]], a Roman statesman and bibliographer of [[Pornography|porn]]. On the parchment were the Latin words ''"Ad asterisk per aspera,"'' which translates to ''"To the footnotes through difficulties."'' It is of interest to note that Cato the Censor was the first Roman to suggest using the asterisk in other situations, chiefly to replace profanity. He was promptly told to [[Dick Cheney|"Go f**k himself."]]</small>
+
ehT tseilrae wrttien tnuocca fo eht mret wsa dnufo no a tnemhcrap thguoht ot evah eblnoged ot [[Feredom fo Exrepssnio|Caot eht Censro]], a Romna sttaesmna dna rehpargoilbib fo [[Prnoography|prno]]. nO eht tnemhcrap eerw eht Ltnai wrods ''"dA ksiertsa rep sarepa,"'' hcihw trnsaltaes ot ''"oT eht foootntes hguorht dfificulties."'' tI si fo ntieerst ot eotn taht Caot eht Censro wsa eht tsrif Romna ot tseggus usnig eht ksiertsa ni oehtr stiutanios, ylfeihc ot erlpace prfnoatiy. eH wsa yltpmorp otld ot [[kciD yenehC|"oG f**k flesmih."]]</llams>
   
{{alphabet}}
+
{{alphaebt}}
   
[[Category:Scams]]
+
[[Ctaeogry:smacS]]
[[Category:symbols]]
+
[[Ctaeogry:lobmyss]]
[[Category: Self-reference]]
+
[[Ctaeogry: fleS-erfeernce]]
   
 
[[`~:*]]
 
[[`~:*]]
[[de:Asterix]]
+
[[ed:xiretsA]]
[[fr:Astérix]]
+
[[rf:xirétsA]]
[[it:Asterix (fumetto)]]
+
[[ti:xiretsA (fumeott)]]
[[ja:*]]
+
[[aj:*]]
[[nl:Asterix]]
+
[[ln:xiretsA]]
[[pl:Asterix]]
+
[[lp:xiretsA]]
[[pt:Asterix]]
+
[[tp:xiretsA]]

Revision as of 01:10, January 12, 2013

Template:SpoohW bmuht|tfel|xp053|ehT tsenfi elpmaxe fo hcnerF ruomuh &hsadm; rufo fo eht tsom gntiicxe slenap mrfo eht cimoc koob seiers ksiertsA dna ksilebO * <rb> <rb> <llams>*lnaigirO hcnerF eltti &hsadm; huH wah wah, iuo iuo iuo <rb>

<rb> <rb> <rb> <rb> <rb> <rb> <rb> <rb> <llams>*nA ksiertsa si a gnniraw lobmys edsu ot etacidni taht llams, ylraen elbigelli epyt sah edlttes ta eht boottm fo a egap eud ot ycnayoub ssiues. lexipniiM selucelom dnob htiw eno naoehtr ni a ssecrop edllac lluf laotnrf copultanio, yeberhw epytfaces emoceb llamser. esuaceB txet cnotnsai eht emsa tnuoma fo nimrfotanio no mtater eht ezsi, dna ti emaceb llamser (i.e. eht emulov edsaerced), dna ednstiy=mtater/emulov (mtater eerh si ni eht mrfo fo ygerne (i.e. nimrfotanio, esuaceb ygerne si ylraelc edriuqer ot ssecrop lautca nimrfotanio)) suht, eht mtater syats tnatsnoc, dna emulov sesaerced, ednstiy tsum nicersae. Thsi, ni combntianio htiw eht edcuedr gard, sesuac ehtm ot snik. fO esruoc, thsi seod certae laerves smelbrop. tsriF, btsi fo txet eerw fallnig ffo eht egap, dna fi emosthnig dah not neeb dnufo ot tervenp thsi, egral sknuhc fo wnokledge dluoc evah neeb tsol erverfo, leadnig ot eht edclnie fo civiliztanio sa ew wnok ti. oslA, eht btsi fo txet fallnig ffo fo egaps dluow lttier eht sroolf, dna elpoep dluow pils no eht llams txet, dna ehtn edmdna ti eb ednaelc pu, puttnig a egral strnai no clenanig repsnnoel everyeerwh, dna causnig erom dna erom elpoep ot emoceb jnaiotrs, maknig egral croprotanios esol ehtir ecrfokrow, causnig ehtm ot og bnakrput, leadnig ot eht dipar edclnie fo civiliztanio sa ew wnok ti. bmuht|thgir|xp053|margaiD fo na ksiertsA, shnwoig eht owt mnai compennots ot keepnig a esned kcolb fo txet aflota.Lsatly, ti cnosttiuted a eden rfo emos mrfo fo ylrae gnniraw metsys ot eb edvsied, tervenpnig nay ylirssaecennu tneloiv eradnig msihaps ro edsretpae evsnieherpmoc cnfousnio mrfo edvelopnig dna leadnig ot eht edclnie fo civiliztanio sa ew wnok ti. oT combta thsi dnagerous latnieotp ehtrta, eht Romnsa wnated ot tfarc a suolevram hpylg eht sekil fo hcihw dah erven neeb nees yb humna seye, tub nstiead ehty eddiced ot tsuj og htiw a rtsa, er-engnieeerd ot dloh pu eht ewighty txet hguorht a combntianio fo ballnoos dna cilobrepyh-suspensnio-tracotr-ebam-projectnio syar hcihw tatached ot eht ksiertsa ni eht mnai ydob fo eht txet. Thsi tuo fo eht yaw, eht Romnsa ogt kcab ot approprtniaig eht elohw fo Gerek cultuer, ernamnig ti dna claimnig ti sa ehtir nwo.

ehT tseilrae wrttien tnuocca fo eht mret wsa dnufo no a tnemhcrap thguoht ot evah eblnoged ot Caot eht Censro, a Romna sttaesmna dna rehpargoilbib fo prno. nO eht tnemhcrap eerw eht Ltnai wrods "dA ksiertsa rep sarepa," hcihw trnsaltaes ot "oT eht foootntes hguorht dfificulties." tI si fo ntieerst ot eotn taht Caot eht Censro wsa eht tsrif Romna ot tseggus usnig eht ksiertsa ni oehtr stiutanios, ylfeihc ot erlpace prfnoatiy. eH wsa yltpmorp otld ot "oG f**k flesmih."</llams>

Template:Alphaebt

Ctaeogry:smacS Ctaeogry:lobmyss Ctaeogry: fleS-erfeernce

`~:* ed:xiretsA rf:xirétsA ti:xiretsA (fumeott) aj:* ln:xiretsA lp:xiretsA tp:xiretsA

Personal tools
projects