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Firstly, two Ds in modded, my friend; but also, ah-oh-ah-oh-ah-oh. See the difference? You’re in oh-town, Poindexter. MOhded!
Gather 'round the campfire and open up your vocabulary's spice rack. We're traveling back to a simpler time when Lance was not gay and Bel-Air was just a cab ride away; the age of the Macarena and of the Walkman. Ready? Let’s go!
Whoaaa…. this time-warp’s banging, dawg… Not!
Well, we’re here. Totally looking da bomb with our windbreakers tied around our waists and… wait. You’re not wearing any sweat bands. How are you supposed to keep your face, wrists and elbows dry? Are those L.A. Gear sneakers even real? As if! You know what? You’re just going to have to talk to the hand and bounce on out of here. No, you don’t have the cooties. You just got ‘moded.
Who Got What?
You got 'moded. Or just 'moded! Either way, things aren’t looking good for you. Keep your beeper handy. You should probably be expecting a call from your girlfriend Kelly or boyfriend Zack right about now for further demotion (yes, you dweeb, that’s where it comes from).
Getting ‘moded means no more parlayin’ for you. This is not your typical blast. It is a very serious challenge to your street cred; a diss of the highest caliber. Please leave the hair gel, matching hoop earrings and CK1 unisex fragrance by Shawn’s locker. You won’t need it where you’re going. You can kiss “all that and the bag of chips” goodbye.
Speaking of chips, your diet of Gushers, Air Heads and Fruitopia won’t be falling from the proverbial tree of Tyler’s dad’s pizza shop anymore. You’re a mortal again, so you’ll need cash. Be sure to cancel that “Now That’s What I Call Music” CD subscription. That’s some jacked up luck too, heard the next one was going to be Boyz II Men-heavy.
One more thing, you can’t part your hair down the middle. That’s our thing.
My bad, any way I can still represent?
Quit your frontin.’ You gotta feel me on this one. That’s not the way things work around here. Also, don’t be a whiny bitch because you brought this upon yourself. The doctrine of ‘moded is just and fair. You see, ‘moded can never be used offensively, but only in response to someone else’s illin’ (the non-dope kind of ‘illin).
Dillio #1: The Case Against an Offensive ‘Moded Paradigm
PEEP 1 TO PEEP 2: (Out of nowhere) “Snap! ‘Moded!” DA POS-AY: (Looks at Peep 1 with copious wig' out)
This kind of dillio actually increases the likelihood of a retaliatory 'moded defense toward Peep 1.
Still don’t understand? Peep 1 has essentially eaten his own shorts.
As a result of their inherent nature, ‘modings only come up sporadically amongst tite groups of home-skillets. They are an essential part of the circle of teenage life; and you were long overdue, chump. 'Modings are necessary for weeding out those lucky few that fall through the cracks of the rigorous path towards the higher echelons of the high school crowd. Everyone was freakin’ out on your bunk and sloppy ways. I hope you can now accept that it was never meant to be.
Whatever, Quit Icing My Grill
Chill out. Yeah it’s messed up, but things aren’t all that whack. Pshhyeah, you don’t get to go to the arcade after school in the back of Joey’s convertible Mustang anymore, but you had a good run. Let’s be honest; you were only in it for Kelly… who you totally jacked from me.
You never cared about the fashion or the lifestyle; we were supposed to change the world with this impeccable color coordination. Our fresh red-flashing shoes made us easier to be identified in dark alleyways to those in need of a piece of BubbleTape. And have you seen a flat-top lately? But seriously, Kelly and I had a great thing going and you and your Velcro reef sandals turned her into a total hoochie. Enjoy the rest of your life with your complimentary-colored clothing, light-less shoes and reasonable hairstyles. Boo Yah!