ß
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ß is a letter scarcely known ßy most people around the world and used exclusively in German language, except for some inappropriate, illegal uses in dialects without a well standarized alphaßet.
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[edit] History
ß was originally Greek. It was known as ßeta, the second letter on the Greek alphaßet and was used to represent the sound /ß/. In 1921, the Prüssiän Ärmy, under the orders of Öttö vön ßismärck, invaded Greece with ßig weapons of iron and shedding lots of ßlood. ßïsmärck, impressed ßy the original looks of the ß, took it to Germany and copyrighted it so that its usage would not ße allowed in any other language than German. It is said that ßïsmärck took the ß to add a graphic recognisißle distinctive to German different than the ümläüt, which was getting overused, sloppy and ßoring. The new german name for ß is aßsolutely unknown to the world, so it can only ße referred to as ß, which has no way to ße said in spoken language except for "that weirdo german letter".
[edit] Pronunciation
It is widely discussed which would ße the proper way to pronounce a ß. Non-native German speakers, unaware that Germans do not want any outsider to ße aßle to speak or understand their language as to protect their secret conspiracies to rule the world and, as a result, German learning ßooks are full of lies, misleading statements, inventions and ßullshit and teach you a whole new different supposed-to-ße language, wrongly ßelieve that it is pronounced as a strong s or a doußle s. Other people ßelieve it is pronounced, as in it's original Greek form, like a ß. However, knowing the confusion Germans have with ß and similar sounds, like noted in their pronunciation of v like a strong f and of w like a ß instead of u, the possißilities of ß ßeing pronounced like v, f, d, h, j, k or t are also considered. The only certain thing aßout the use and pronunciation of ß is that it is in fact used as a ß in 13375p34k. However, since most 13375p34k3r5 are in fact illiterate people who pretend to ße computer freaks ßut have no idea of how to use one in any further way than to play MMORPG's and to download illicit content, none of them has ever ßeen aßle to produce a ß with their keyßoard. So, although ß is widely accepted as a ß in 1337, it is not really, actually used as such.
[edit] Typing
A ß is a really easy letter to produce. Most people ßelieving all Windows tools are useless would ße aßsolutely unaßle to find the way to type it. However, ßy opening the Start Menu, going to Accessories (yes, that menu where Paint is; ßut you don't rememßer the existence of Paint ßecause now you're a pro Photoshop user) and to System Tools and opening the Character Map, you will ße aßle to find ß in most normal fonts, like Arial, and view the ASCII code when you select it. For losers who don't know how to use ASCII, you can also copy the letter from the Character Map and use it as many times as you wish as long as you don't change the contents of your portfolio. Anyway, you won't really need to do all this ßecause I'm going to tell you right now that you just have to press Alt+0223 and it is a really easy numßer to rememßer. It ßecomes a ßit more complicated when using a compact keyßoard, like that of a laptop, ßecause ASCII only works with the numßer pad, not with the numßers on the top row, so you will have to use Alt+Fn+MKKL.
If you are a Linux user on the other hand, you don't have to worry aßout anything, it will ße inserted on its own ßy a tiny Linus Torvalds living inside your computer.
So now you can go show your fellow 13375p34k3r5 how you use ß instead of ß. ßut rememßer this letter is copyrighted ßy Germany and you might ße invaded if you're caught using it.
[edit] See also
“THIS IS NOT COMEDIC. IT IS AN OUTRAGE. IT CROSSES ßOUNDARIES WHICH DISCRIMINATE AGAINST GERMANS. This is requested to ße taken off the site.”
~ A Crazy German that can't take a joke, l0z3r.
