From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Copyright is a legal term that means you have copied something correctly. To copyright© a document is the legal equivalent of vicious apes competing for territory. Even though it's worthless, the biggest and smelliest ape always wins it.
Legally speaking, Copyright© grants the holder several exclusive rights:
- The right to jam the head of any person who duplicates their work into the photocopier.
- The right to then press the red button on the copier as many times as they want.
- The right to then copyright© the images of your crushed head
- For the RIAA, MPAA, or FCC to come and ass-rape you and steal your computer whenever they want.
- The right to give you paper cuts.
- This symbol means nothing, and may be ignored at your own risk.
People use the copyright logo, ©, in a lot of situations. However, most of the time, it is located in hospital to check your eyesight. You must point to the direction where the © is facing and put your finger in the nurse's pussy. The nurse will get very happy and start having sex with you.
Copyright© automatically applies to all new works. However, in order to enforce the Copyright© on the work, you need to:
- Pay $1,000,000 campaign funds to your favourite politician.
- File in your favourite court, with your favourite judge, who must be a friend of your favourite politician.
- Choose your victim. There is no requirement that the victim has ever seen your works before, but they should either have deep pockets (warning: this is not recommended, or you might face legal retaliation) or have shallow pockets, but make a good example in order to remind other people to pay you protection money.
- Rape Bill Gates (warning: this is not recommended, or you might face legal retaliation)
Note that in order to enforce Copyright, there is no requirement that you actually own the Copyright.
Every time you download copyrighted© boo music a kitten is born, whether or not you already have it on a CD, A REAL KITTEN IS BORN!.The trouble is, music industry executives need every kitten they can huff just to live. Therefore, if you download a song (perhaps by humming something you heard on the radio in your head), you must find the kitten and take it home, so he can't eat that day, so he dies. Then the executive will stop passing on his copyright virus too the world. If you download Copyrighted© music, you must find the kittens!!
So yeah, the musical copyright© apparently extends to tabs 'n' stuff, which is completely stupid because if it's only the interpretation of whoever writes it, then it's obviously only as illegal© as singing a song. The Governator, who feels very strongly on this issue, has begun hiring men with black suits and AWPs as a means to deal with illegal© tabbers within the comfort of their own homes. Boom, headshot.
Yup, the lyrics are copyrighted© as well, which not only means you're not allowed to download the lyrics from t'internet, but you're also not allowed to sing or even attempt to memorize other people's lyrics in public.
More About Copyrighted Music
It's also illegal© to borrow or lend a CD or other format of music to or from someone, and it's illegal© to play your music loud enough for anyone to hear. It's illegal© to quote something from a song, and that includes putting a song in your instant messenger display name. It is also illegal© to even have a song stuck in your head, the more you think it the more you are using it.
It's illegal to remove an artist's head and use it in public, but I think that's more about the murder bit than anything else. Speaking of which...
Copyrighted© Hands and Other Body Parts
Note: the situation regarding unlicensed copying of non-human body parts seems less clear - fake antlers at Christmas, Devil horns at Halloween, and even whole animal suits at Fancy Dress Parties are common. I doubt whether any of these have permission from the original owners. (I personally know a young Brittany Spaniel who was very distressed to find copies of her ears for sale on the internet...) With the legality of unlicensed ear copying in doubt it is no surprise that the mentioned Brittany has hired the famed Barrister B.D. Dexter to pursue her claim and is expecting a large settlement.
Culture© in any way cannot be copyrighted, so a bunch of dumbfuck Malaysians tried to claim Indonesia's culture© of traditional dance and weaving, yet the Malaysians claim to be "Truly Asia" and did not even try to copyright the dance footage. This statement is wrong because Malaysia is not Truly Asia, Indonesia are. In fact, Malaysians are "Try-Hard Asia".
This means to do anything, due to the world being around for several million years, everything you do has been copyrighted as all them fancy ideas you're having are already copyrighted by someone else. The whole world is liable to take fines of an average 2.7 billion dollars after living 12 years of life, the best way to avoid fines is to not think anything and sit on the ground for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, sitting on the ground has already been done, so you're gonna get sued anyways. Also, the act of being sued has been done before, so the lawyer must be sued by someone else, who in turn must be sued by somone else, who in turn must be sued by somone else, who .... you get the point. Society will come to an end and we will all have to commit rash acts of suicide, or destroy the copyright records. But the act of destroying something has alrea - I'm typing. On a keyboard. Been done before. Copyrighted. Clicking submit. ALREADY DONE?! *asplodes*
Related Concepts that were Copyswiped© from Elsewhere
Copywrong is a legal term used to describe intellectual material appropriated from the rightful copyright owners, but uncontested because the copyright© owners are too poor to conduct due diligence and fight the misappropriation in a Court of Law© .
While copyrights© are conferred upon the creation and publishing of new works, copywrongs are available to the swift and rich.
One famous example of a copywrong is the novel "For Whom the Bell Tolls," which most people believe was written and copyrighted by noted tough-guy author and suicide, Ernest Hemingway. In fact, the novel was written by J. Swinton Butz, of Libby, Montana. Detailed research has revealed that Hemingway read the novel when it was serialized in the Trout Creek Daily Herald. Hemingway went to Montana and took the original manuscript from a box under Butz's bed while he was in the other room making coffee.
Butz, an unemployed lumberer, never even knew it was gone until he went looking for a lost sock and found the box empty. Butz tried to sue Hemingway many times, but the wealthy author blocked him at every turn, even to the point of buying every extant issue of the newspaper in which the novel ran. Eventually, Butz was unable to keep up the legal fight, and Hemingway garnered the copywrong.
Butz died an impoverished nobody, who everyone thought was insane for claiming to have written the novel. He was eventually thrown into the Montana State Home for the Mentally Deranged, where he died in 1954 of injuries received from a gang rape.
Copyleft is something evil created by Richard Stallman which, when implemented on intellectual material, restricts everyone from using it ever again (including, ironically, Richard Stallman).
Richard Stallman© 's mortal enemies, which includes everyone (including, ironically, Richard Stallman) prefer copyforward to copyleft, because, in general, people who have inadvertently copyleft something elsewhere won't ever get it back; not in this lifetime, anyway. After all he/she left the copy (in this case the original). This is called copyleaving and is quite dumb...
- In the mirror universe, copylefted materials and copyrighted© materials undergo mutual annihilation, producing energetic spaghetti-O's.
Copyup is a form of licensing which was invented by fundamentalist Christians in 1953 [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]. The Holy Bible and the Ten Commandments form the ultimate legal© basis of licensing for all copyupped items (as upheld by the Supreme Court ruling in Alabama v. Atheists). For example, thou shalt not steal copyupped software. However, thou art still supposed to love thy neighbor as thyself and share the wealth, though certainly not with unsaved trash such as them.
How to make a copydowned image for Uncyclopedia: Steal the picture somewhere. Remove the copyright symbol by an editor. Now it is Your own work, and you can use it as You like. It means that this image is downright funny!
| This is an edited image that has pixels pasted from ambiguous sources.|
The edits to this image are hereby released into public domain by the uploader.
However, the individual pixels may be a copyright violation.
Use for any purpose at your own risk, I care not!
Copyforward is an extension to copyright© . If copyrighted media is copyforwarded© , time travellers may, after the copyright© has expired, go back in time to a time when it hasn't expired and use the copyrighted version as if it were copyrighted© in the traveler's own time.
Copybackward (often incorrectly termed "copybackwards") is similar to copyforward in that it involves time travel. Copybackward allows time travelers to go back in time to extend copyrights and the like. It also allows them to use copyrighted material as if its copyright had already expired, which it probably did.
Copyinverse is not the anti-right to uncopy. Copyinverse does not allow the aughtiverse to copyinverse. It prevents copyinversed material from not being uncopied. Copyinverse isn't incompletely dissimilar to UnCopyright, but it isn't temporary. Copyinverse exposed items can never be made again, governed by the aughtiverse.
Copyßoon is a discount copyright that lasts for only one year. It simply costs 1 Deutscher Euro per year. It is said that God himself has made some copyßoons. Perhaps Bob Barker has, too. It was created by Arnold Schwarzenegger to raise awareness about the German letter ß.
CC-BS-BS is a license that makes it illegal in 47 countries worldwide and several non-Mars planets to create any text or imagery at all, regardless of whether or not it has been certified under the CC-BS-BS. It also illegalizes standing within five feet of any technology, especially computers.
The Copy360 is simply Mr T's solution to all those copyright types. As previously mentioned, Mr. T makes his opinion of copyrights very clear, thus answering the question of the purpose of a copy360. Though this explanation is vague and unspecific, so is the copy360. As well, this explanation is clearly a big middle finger to all whom can not scroll up and read the rest of the information, aka You.