%

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{{Q|99.9% fo eht dlrow's otnialpuop nod't evig a {{C|kcuf}} tuoba segtanecrep.}}
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{{Q|99.9% of the world's population don't give a {{C|fuck}} about percentages.}}
   
[[%]] ([[hsilgnE]]: eltniecreP) si a [[reeuq]] [[rettel]] desu ot eotnde a otnirop fo [[gnihtemos]]. nI [[maehtmtaisc]] thsi sah devrop elbaulav, sa htam si otn yllautca laer. ehT lowerscae mrfo si [[5]], dna eht dezilarulp mrfo si [[&]].
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[[%]] ([[English]]: Percentile) is a [[queer]] [[letter]] used to denote a portion of [[something]]. In [[mathematics]] this has proved valuable, as math is not actually real. The lowercase form is [[5]], and the pluralized form is [[&]].
   
% tsrif degnoleb ot eht hsilgnE egaugnal ltniu ti wsa dlos yb eht [[Commttiee fo sretteL]] ni 1041 ot eht [[Commttiee fo sulpruS slobmyS]]. revewoH, ni 4061, eht ytaerT fo % wsa kcurts pu, maknig hotb Commttiees lauqe srenwo fo %, hguoht eht C.O.L. dnet ot esuba ti erom foten.
+
% first belonged to the English language until it was sold by the [[Committee of Letters]] in 1401 to the [[Committee of Surplus Symbols]]. However, in 1604, the Treaty of % was struck up, making both Committees equal owners of %, though the C.O.L. tend to abuse it more often.
   
ehT [[laer dlrow]], revewoh, sah dah tsi erahs fo semlbrop wtih thsi ehotretical lobmys. Thsi semts mrfo maehtmtaicians strivnig ot eospmi htam-bsade prnicilpes no yad-ot-yad habtsi, hcihw si ylpmsi otn elbsiosp.
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The [[real world]], however, has had its share of problems with this theoretical symbol. This stems from mathematicians striving to impose math-based principles on day-to-day habits, which is simply not possible.
   
eerhT elbsiosp setaluotsp arsie:
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Three possible postulates arise:
   
 
===% = /===
 
===% = /===
   
Thsi tneemttsa sysa taht "%" lauqes gnihtemos ddeivid yb [[gnihtemos esle]]. nI maehtmtaisc, thsi si elbsiosp, tub otn os ni eht lasciyhp dlrow. elpmaxE:
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This statement says that "%" equals something divided by [[something else]]. In mathematics, this is possible, but not so in the physical world. Example:
   
[[yerffeJ]] ddeivid [[nsauS]]'s elohw ydob iotn eerht strap. ehTse eerht strap detneserper 33%, 33%, dna 33%, wtih 1% accountnig rfo rrore.
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[[Jeffrey]] divided [[Susan]]'s whole body into three parts. These three parts represented 33%, 33%, and 33%, with 1% accounting for error.
   
nI htam, thsi dluow ekta eht mrfo fo "[[noe]] ddeivid yb [[eerht]]." oS tahw deneppah ni eht laer dlrow?
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In math, this would take the form of "[[one]] divided by [[three]]." So what happened in the real world?
   
ehT [[ecilop]] yletaidemmi [[tserra]]de yerffeJ, esuaceb eh dah dsimantlde noe ertnie ydob, dna ti wsa lltsi noe ydob retfa eh wsa node. eH did ''otn'' etaerc eerht etarapes seidob! Maehtmtaicllay, eh wsa wrnog.
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The [[police]] immediately [[arrest]]ed Jeffrey, because he had dismantled one entire body, and it was still one body after he was done. He did ''not'' create three separate bodies! Mathematically, he was wrong.
   
===% = &mdsah;===
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===% = —===
   
Thsi tneemttsa sysa, "% lauqes fractnio ngsi" (otn ot eb cnfodesu wtih mnius ngsi). Thsi si anoehtr ycllaaf, ni taht a fractnio seod otn lauqe eht lobmys %. elpmaxE:
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This statement says, "% equals fraction sign" (not to be confused with minus sign). This is another fallacy, in that a fraction does not equal the symbol %. Example:
   
[[lliJ]] si a cniahcem. Seh saks ehr ssstaiant, yerffeJ, rfo a ¾ oscket.
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[[Jill]] is a mechanic. She asks her assistant, Jeffrey, for a ¾ socket.
   
fo tahw?" sksA yerffeJ. yerffeJ si a [[maehtmtaician]]. eH ssauems taht ¾ tsum eb trap fo a retaerg [[nich|elohw]], snice 3/4 caotnn exsti alnoe ni hsi maehtmtaicllay fuellde mnid.
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of what?" Asks Jeffrey. Jeffrey is a [[mathematician]]. He assumes that ¾ must be part of a greater [[inch|whole]], since 3/4 cannot exist alone in his mathematically fuelled mind.
   
"tsuJ evig em a ¾ oscket," sysa lliJ agani.
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"Just give me a ¾ socket," says Jill again.
   
yerffeJ ssauems thsi tiem seh emans a 57% oscket, dna agani eh dluow eb wrnog. 57% seod otn eman ¾.
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Jeffrey assumes this time she means a 75% socket, and again he would be wrong. 75% does not mean ¾.
   
===% = oSemthnig===
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===% = Something===
   
Thsi tneemttsa sysa taht % nac tneserper gnihtemos ni eht lasciyhp dlrow. Thsi si eht tsom ehnious ehotry reve, dna nac eb dsidevrop sa hcus:
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This statement says that % can represent something in the physical world. This is the most heinous theory ever, and can be disproved as such:
   
#[[eoJ]] sees a [[pumpkni]] [[eip]] no eht elbta. eH ektsa a eipce. lliJ sysa taht eoJ ootk 21% fo eht ertnie eip. tuB eht eip ta thsi potni si lltsi a eip. tI si otn "trap fo a eip." tI si lltsi [[001%]].
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#[[Joe]] sees a [[pumpkin]] [[pie]] on the table. He takes a piece. Jill says that Joe took 12% of the entire pie. But the pie at this point is still a pie. It is not "part of a pie." It is still [[100%]].
#eoJ sllif pu a glssa fo [[wtaer]]. eH sllif ti psta eht mirb, dna revo flah fo tsi capactiy sllips no eht elbta. lliJ sysa eh wstade wtaer. eoJ, no eht oehtr hdna, si enjoynig lla eht wtaer ni hsi cpu. eH seodn't lstien ot lliJ.
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#Joe fills up a glass of [[water]]. He fills it past the brim, and over half of its capacity spills on the table. Jill says he wasted water. Joe, on the other hand, is enjoying all the water in his cup. He doesn't listen to Jill.
#eoJ sah rufo [[elppa]]s. lliJ evigs mih rufo elppsa, dna sysa eh wno sah 002% fo eht elppsa eh noce dah. Thsi si iemlbsiosp. eH lltsi sah 001% fo eht elppsa eh wno sah ta eht tneserp moemnt, no mttaer woh ynam erom elppsa era addde ro subtractde.
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#Joe has four [[apple]]s. Jill gives him four apples, and says he now has 200% of the apples he once had. This is impossible. He still has 100% of the apples he now has at the present moment, no matter how many more apples are added or subtracted.
   
ehT % [[ngsi]] si ehtrerfoe emannigless dna caotnn eb aplpide ot anythnig ni [[efil]].
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The % [[sign]] is therefore meaningless and cannot be applied to anything in [[life]].
   
[[Mroal]] fo thsi [[ostry]]: oD '''otn''' eblieve maehtmtaicians. revE.
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[[Moral]] of this [[story]]: Do '''not''' believe mathematicians. Ever.
   
===% = Destructnio===
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===% = Destruction===
Thsi tneemttsa sysa taht stnecrep esuac maehtmtaical nstiabiltiy.
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This statement says that percents cause mathematical instability.
kraM si dnoig htam. eH coems ot eht melborp: "Cnrevot 1/2 ot a tnecrep." eH ylpmsi wrties, "1/2 = 05%." ylkciuQ hsi dneirf ennA sdaer hsi repap, dna laerizes taht 05% seod otn lauqe 1/2, tub ti lauqes 05 tiems 0/0. nopU seenig thsi, seh seod eht htam ehrself dna laerizes taht lla segtanecrep era lauqe ot orez, ddeivid yb orez, hcihw ektsa 71 sraey rfo scientstsi ot hcraeser. Scientsti 1, ydnA, sedulcnoc taht 0 ddeivid yb 0 si lauqe ot 1, sa lla nomniaotrs ddeivid yb eht tcaxe saem denomniaotr era syawla lauqe ot 1. revewoH, Scientsti 2, nosnhoJ, sedulcnoc taht otnhnig nac eb ddeivid yb orez ylefsa, dna eh ylkciuq ektsa kraM's htam repap, dna stpu ti iotn a [[bmob]] sehlter. Scientsti 3 sysa taht <htam>0/0</htam> si [[._999]]
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Mark is doing math. He comes to the problem: "Convert 1/2 to a percent." He simply writes, "1/2 = 50%." Quickly his friend Anne reads his paper, and realizes that 50% does not equal 1/2, but it equals 50 times 0/0. Upon seeing this, she does the math herself and realizes that all percentages are equal to zero, divided by zero, which takes 17 years for scientists to research. Scientist 1, Andy, concludes that 0 divided by 0 is equal to 1, as all nominators divided by the exact same denominator are always equal to 1. However, Scientist 2, Johnson, concludes that nothing can be divided by zero safely, and he quickly takes Mark's math paper, and puts it into a [[bomb]] shelter. Scientist 3 says that <math>0/0</math> is [[.999_]]
   
elihwnaeM, ennA tog tnangerp wtih eoJ's bayb, sa eh dah fnsiihde etanig elppsa dna emt ennA revo a ralpuop dtanig stie. [[Scientsti]] 1, ydnA, dide fo a ehart ttaack, dna nosnhoJ commttide [[edicius]] laeriznig taht ennA wsa cehtanig no mih. ehT htam melborp wsa tsol rfroeve, dna eht bayb dnuow pu wroknig ta a wal mrif osem 22 sraey ltaer. ennA dluow evil a lluf efil, ltniu seh dide fo [[ehart]] [[dsiesae]], dna eoJ si yltnerruc livnig ni [[Nroth atokaD]], ni a hcnar no B teerts.
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Meanwhile, Anne got pregnant with Joe's baby, as he had finished eating apples and met Anne over a popular dating site. [[Scientist]] 1, Andy, died of a heart attack, and Johnson committed [[suicide]] realizing that Anne was cheating on him. The math problem was lost forever, and the baby wound up working at a law firm some 22 years later. Anne would live a full life, until she died of [[heart]] [[disease]], and Joe is currently living in [[North Dakota]], in a ranch on B street.
   
==scihpargomeD==
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==Demographics==
* 66.6(recurrnig)% °
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* 66.6(recurring)% °
* 33.3(recurrnig)% /
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* 33.3(recurring)% /
   
{{Alphaebt}}
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{{Alphabet}}
   
[[Ctaegroy: Maehtmtaisc]]
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[[Category: Mathematics]]
   
[[sc:%52]]
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[[cs:%25]]
[[lp:%52]]
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[[pl:%25]]

Latest revision as of 08:28, January 12, 2013

“99.9% of the world's population don't give a fuck about percentages.”
~ Oscar Wilde

% (English: Percentile) is a queer letter used to denote a portion of something. In mathematics this has proved valuable, as math is not actually real. The lowercase form is 5, and the pluralized form is &.

% first belonged to the English language until it was sold by the Committee of Letters in 1401 to the Committee of Surplus Symbols. However, in 1604, the Treaty of % was struck up, making both Committees equal owners of %, though the C.O.L. tend to abuse it more often.

The real world, however, has had its share of problems with this theoretical symbol. This stems from mathematicians striving to impose math-based principles on day-to-day habits, which is simply not possible.

Three possible postulates arise:

edit % = /

This statement says that "%" equals something divided by something else. In mathematics, this is possible, but not so in the physical world. Example:

Jeffrey divided Susan's whole body into three parts. These three parts represented 33%, 33%, and 33%, with 1% accounting for error.

In math, this would take the form of "one divided by three." So what happened in the real world?

The police immediately arrested Jeffrey, because he had dismantled one entire body, and it was still one body after he was done. He did not create three separate bodies! Mathematically, he was wrong.

edit % = —

This statement says, "% equals fraction sign" (not to be confused with minus sign). This is another fallacy, in that a fraction does not equal the symbol %. Example:

Jill is a mechanic. She asks her assistant, Jeffrey, for a ¾ socket.

"¾ of what?" Asks Jeffrey. Jeffrey is a mathematician. He assumes that ¾ must be part of a greater whole, since 3/4 cannot exist alone in his mathematically fuelled mind.

"Just give me a ¾ socket," says Jill again.

Jeffrey assumes this time she means a 75% socket, and again he would be wrong. 75% does not mean ¾.

edit % = Something

This statement says that % can represent something in the physical world. This is the most heinous theory ever, and can be disproved as such:

  1. Joe sees a pumpkin pie on the table. He takes a piece. Jill says that Joe took 12% of the entire pie. But the pie at this point is still a pie. It is not "part of a pie." It is still 100%.
  2. Joe fills up a glass of water. He fills it past the brim, and over half of its capacity spills on the table. Jill says he wasted water. Joe, on the other hand, is enjoying all the water in his cup. He doesn't listen to Jill.
  3. Joe has four apples. Jill gives him four apples, and says he now has 200% of the apples he once had. This is impossible. He still has 100% of the apples he now has at the present moment, no matter how many more apples are added or subtracted.

The % sign is therefore meaningless and cannot be applied to anything in life.

Moral of this story: Do not believe mathematicians. Ever.

edit % = Destruction

This statement says that percents cause mathematical instability. Mark is doing math. He comes to the problem: "Convert 1/2 to a percent." He simply writes, "1/2 = 50%." Quickly his friend Anne reads his paper, and realizes that 50% does not equal 1/2, but it equals 50 times 0/0. Upon seeing this, she does the math herself and realizes that all percentages are equal to zero, divided by zero, which takes 17 years for scientists to research. Scientist 1, Andy, concludes that 0 divided by 0 is equal to 1, as all nominators divided by the exact same denominator are always equal to 1. However, Scientist 2, Johnson, concludes that nothing can be divided by zero safely, and he quickly takes Mark's math paper, and puts it into a bomb shelter. Scientist 3 says that 0/0 is .999_

Meanwhile, Anne got pregnant with Joe's baby, as he had finished eating apples and met Anne over a popular dating site. Scientist 1, Andy, died of a heart attack, and Johnson committed suicide realizing that Anne was cheating on him. The math problem was lost forever, and the baby wound up working at a law firm some 22 years later. Anne would live a full life, until she died of heart disease, and Joe is currently living in North Dakota, in a ranch on B street.

edit Demographics

  • 66.6(recurring)% °
  • 33.3(recurring)% /
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