# Intelligent Mathematics

### From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

**Nominated Article**

**Intelligent Mathematics** (colloquially **Intelligent Math**) is the assertion that "certain features of the mathematics and numbers are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as logic and reasoning." It is a teleological proof of the existence of God. The idea was developed by a group of American theological scientists who recognise the nature of *absolute truth* have determined that modern mathematical thinking is flawed, and that science is currently feeding us false information.^{[1]}

### Foundations

In 1956, Samuel Smith, a Fellow of the Royal Theological Society and the Royal Mathematics Society, released a book on Intelligent Mathematics titled Understanding Intelligent Math, which was released by the Gideon press.^{[1]}

In this he proved beyond any shadow of a doubt that intelligent mathematics was a universally held belief until approximately 250 B. C. At this time a Greek Gentile by the name of Archimedes started to spread false witness about mathematics. He was obsessed by multi-dimensional facets, believed to be due to the fact that his name translated from the Koine Greek literally means *little Arch*.^{[1]}

### Understanding π

“ | And he made the Sea of cast bronze, ten cubits from one brim to the other; it was completely round. Its height was five cubits, and a line of thirty cubits measured its circumference. | ” |

—1 Kings 7:23, NCE |

*absolute truth*shows us that a circle that is 10 cubits in diameter is actually 30 cubits in circumference.

^{[1]}

So, given that

where is the circumference of a circle and is the diameter, as stated in the example in the *absolute truth*

Therefore

^{[1]}

Further study has shown that Archimedes was partially correct; however, he made some fundamental mistakes relating to the value of π. The digits after the decimal actually form a geometric series. If we were to extend this out to its full length, which would actually be infinite as π is transcendental, it would converge to the value zero.

Pseudo-scientists have argued that this is an unfair misrepresentation of Archimedes; however, Archimedes has been proven wrong on numerous occasions. For instance, he was thought to have burnt invading ships during the Siege of Syracuse using only mirrors. René Descartes proved this as false, as it has been disproved by the most credible scientific minds for generations.^{[1]}

As a side note, Descartes is often misquoted in a number of different areas, most notably with the statement *Cogito, ergo sum*. While this translates into English as *I am thinking, therefore I exist*, this was actually a mistranslation of the original in French, which reads as *Je pense donc je suis*. This is because he was relating this to a scribe, who actually misheard * Dieu pense donc je suis*, which translates as

*God thinks, therefore I am*. This is teleological proof that God exists, because without him thinking us into existence, we wouldn't exist.

^{[1]}

### The shape of the world

“ | He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. | ” |

—Isaiah 40:22, NCE |

*absolute truth*in order to work out what other areas of understanding that were fundamentally flawed. What he then realised literally changed the shape of the world.

^{[1]}

Despite what witches and demonologists like Galileo stated, the Earth could not be a sphere if God were enthroned above the *circle* of Earth, and the heavens were spread out over the Earth like a tent.

Some pseudo-scientists in the past have argued that this is because when you look at a sphere from any angle it looks like a circle. Koine Hebraic, however, has sufficient grasp to be able to describe a sphere. This means that the Earth is round, but also flat.^{[1]}

This was later updated in 1969 to show that the Apollo Moon landings were a hoax staged by Hollywood and based on a script by Arthur C. Clarke. When demanded for evidence of this, Smith referred back to the letter sent by Clarke to NASA, which read:

Dear Sir, on checking my records, I see that I have never received payment for this work. Could you please look into this matter with some urgency? Otherwise you will be hearing from my solicitors, Messrs Geldsnatch, Geldsnatch and Blubberclutch. |

^{[1]}

Smith also leant his considerable scientific mind into the study of cartography, and determined that the Earth was a disc 40,000 km in diameter. This would then mean that the circumference of the earth would be . ^{[1]}

He also disproved Isaac Newton, who had claimed that if the Earth was flat then it would not have gravity. The reason why things didn't float off the Earth is that the Earth is being drawn toward God at the same rate we are. He proved this by filling a cup with water, putting a small hole in the side and then dropping the cup. As the cup and the water moved at the same rate, only a minimal amount of liquid came from the cup.^{[1]}

### The size of the universe

“ | Where can I go from Thy Spirit? Or where can I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend to heaven, Thou art there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Thy hand will lead me, And Thy right hand will lay hold of me. | ” |

—Psalm 139:7-10, NCE |

^{[1]}

So the next question he asked was how large is God, which would determine the size of the universe. Smith also reflected on the fact that God is omnipotent, meaning that he has infinite power. ^{[1]}

Therefore

And given that:

*Power is directly proportional to Work*( )*Work is directly proportional to Energy*()*Energy is directly proportional to Mass*^{[1]}

As God has infinite power, he would therefore have infinite mass. As he is in the universe, the universe would have to have infinite space for him to exist in. Therefore, the Universe is infinite. ^{[1]}

### A brief history of time

“ | But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. | ” |

—2 Peter 3:8, NCE |

- If and

Therefore

Multiplying both sides of the equation by

Divide both sides by

And given that earlier we determined that energy is infinite, then:

So for any figure divided by infinity becomes zero, then:

This would mean that time did not exist. As a result there would be no possibility of a beginning of time, which would mean that there would be no creation. And of course if there was no creation, then therefore there couldn't possibly be a creator...

Oh dear.

### Suggested reading

*Understanding Intelligent Math*. Samuel Smith, Gideon Press, 1956*Absolute truth*

### See also

### References

- ↑
^{1.00}^{1.01}^{1.02}^{1.03}^{1.04}^{1.05}^{1.06}^{1.07}^{1.08}^{1.09}^{1.10}^{1.11}^{1.12}^{1.13}^{1.14}^{1.15}*Understanding Intelligent Math*. Samuel Smith, Gideon Press, 1956