“In Jimbo We Trust, In Everyone Else We Monitor!”
The Wikipedian Security Agency (W.S.A.) is the most powerful secret agency of Wikipedia and, by the way, of all the Wikimedia Foundation. Created by Jimbo Wales in 2000 as the secret police of Bomis, it was responsible of Larry Sanger's vanishing and other crimes.
Created before Wikipedia, WSA was used as instrument of terror and misinformation for Jimbo's personal propaganda. With the creation of Wikipedia as encyclopedia in 2001 WSA was reorganized as its internal secret police "to protect and to serve THE TRUTH!". Headquartered in St. Petersburg, Florida, WSA grew and by now counts around 500.000 secret agents in the task force. Some of them may be also admins or geeky users in... Wikipedia? No! In Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica. WSA is watchin' you!
The Wikipedian puppet anti-vandalism organization, the Counter-Vandalism Unit (C.V.U.), is a simple fake to calm down vandals and public opinion. The WSA is quite unknown by Wikipedian (and Wikimedian) admins, stewarts, checkusers and WMF staff.
Ask yourself how is possible to control 20,000,000 of articles, files, talks, namespaces etc. Ask yourself why thousands of ips seems to be more expert in Wikipedian poplicies than their admins. Why they waste their time controlling hundreds of articles and tagging dozens of vandals, also without a login? Masochism? Fisting? BDSM? forced virginity? And, by the way, why a vandal meeting thus mysterious IPs stops his activity at least in a week, while if he meets an admin continues, joining the rank of "Master of Sockpuppeters"?
WSA is composed by anon (or anal) IPs, humble noobs with few contribs and no one user-right and by "Skynet". Before you vandalize they monitor your brain with a (carcinogenic) faser, if you don't vandalize they influence your brain with a (carcinogenic) tricorder to do it: WSA needs work! Lots of work!
|Admins block... WSA delete!|
WSA has a long list of crimes since 2000. Its most terrifying power is the combo of this skills:
- Having at least one secret agent everywhere is a PC, Worldwide.
- The usage of Google Maps and Google Street View to inform local agents where the vandal is. "IPtrace" is prehistory!
It has been calculated that c/a 120.000 vandals, around Wikimedia projects in all languages disappeared since 2003. An example? Are you so silly to think that the sockmaster#1, Willy on Wheels, after years of piracy againist Wikipedia, decided suddenly to repent and ALSO to write an excuse message to WP? Hey dudes, this is an article about a secret agency, not about science fiction.
Thousands of political opponents of Wikipedia, scattered on various website (as Uncyclopedia too) disappeared with the help of a special WSA bureau named EYENET KOMMANDO.
This special èlite force has a specific task: to monitor and suppress conspiracies againist Wikipedian security around the web. Nobody is sure on the net, nothing is safe on a computer also if they haven't Internet access. WSA can spy your Commodore 64 using a special (carcinogenic) decoder ray. Remember: admins block, WSA delete!
WSA doesn't need refs.
HEY!!! I SAID WSA DOESN'T NEED REFS!
- C.V.U. - The fake organization
- National Security Agency
- Schutz Staffel
- Fake link to confuse you#1
- Fake link to confuse you#2
- None! Understood? WSA doesn't exist!