User talk:Knitwitted

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(I can't breathe for all the serious business in here: Rancid notes)
(As an interested observer of the aboveforementioned conversation)
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:::"She has no sense of humor at all without [[me]]." In all come hitherness, I might have to agree with you on that one provided you re-spell "humor" as "humour". [[User:Knitwitted|Knitwitted]] 12:51, March 30, 2011 (UTC) Praise be you unsock your puppet at the appropriate times.
 
:::"She has no sense of humor at all without [[me]]." In all come hitherness, I might have to agree with you on that one provided you re-spell "humor" as "humour". [[User:Knitwitted|Knitwitted]] 12:51, March 30, 2011 (UTC) Praise be you unsock your puppet at the appropriate times.
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== I would like to Apologise ==
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Hello. I am deeply sorry about what I have said and acted to you in the past. I was hoping that maybe we could forget the past, and get along? You seem like a nice guy, even if your start was shaky at best. I'm hoping we can shake hands, and be friends.
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Friends? ʘ‿ʘ - {{User:Another n00b/sig}} 17:55, March 30, 2011 (UTC)

Revision as of 17:55, March 30, 2011

Welcome!

Hello, Knitwitted, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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Words

As Lyrithya said, I'm now having words with you.

I moved your latest opus to your userspace, at User:Knitwitted/Oxenford authorship answer. You can work on it there in a few hours when your ban expires.

I've looked at your writing, and I've read your blog, and I can see that you're not an idiot. You've got a sense of humor and you could have something to contribute here.

But you're off to such a bad start!! You got in an edit-war, for which you got a one-day block (like you would on Wikipedia, no doubt), so you... created a second account, for which your block was increased to two weeks, so you... went on an admin's page and announced that you were ban evading with an IP? Look, at this point, many admins would feel that you've exhausted our patience and would permanently ban you and all your accounts and erase all your contributions and declare you persona non grata.

I think it's in our best interest to give you another chance, so I'm going to let that block expire on time today and you can go on editing as User:Knitwitted (and only User:Knitwitted). Please don't make me regret it. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 15:29, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for your kind words! Any chance you could see it my way into re-instating my Right Hand Sock Puppet User:Samuel Clemens? I really do need him to cover my ass. Bans away!! 68.212.63.200 16:53, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
No, I'm not going to do that. We only allow sockpuppets here under very special circumstances, and this isn't one of them. Also, the fact that you're editing as 68.212.63.200 makes me think you didn't hear me: Do not edit Uncyclopedia except as User:Knitwitted. Thanks. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 17:06, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Oops... sorry... forgot to log in. Without my Sock-Puppet-in-chief, I'm afraid I may be abandoned as hopelessly needy. Perhaps if you could check your most recent logs, you might find out my sock puppet and I have entirely different IP addresses. But then of course, you may merely find nothing but chunks of corn. Knitwitted 17:19, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Whether you and your sock puppet have different IP addresses seems pretty irrelevant - and weird. If you surf in from a proxy to use the Samuel Clemens account, we don't want you doing that. If you use one account from home and one from work, that's bizarre and I don't understand what you're up to. If it's actually a different person, I can't fathom why you wouldn't just tell us that. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 17:27, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Okay, you busted my one last remaining bubble. Yes, I do work. And yes, I do have a home. And, yes, the only other account I ever signed up for was "Knitwittedx2" which I mistakenly signed up for while under extreme duress because I had nothing else to do that day during my ban. And finally, yes, Samuel Clemens is a totally different person. I hope this will satisfy. My priest hates me. Knitwitted 17:41, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
I'll talk this over with another admin and get back to you. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 18:06, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Thank you very much. I hope you can get my priest to like me again. Knitwitted 18:26, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
I've gotten a checkuser done and I'm happy to unblock the other account. --ChiefjusticeWii 18:40, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Very sweet!! Will pass the happy news on to Mark Twain's sock puppet. BTW... Thank you!! Knitwitted 18:49, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Hello? Will you still talk to my priest? Knitwitted 20:56, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Knitwit -- Thanks for getting yourself me unblocked. These admins really are true knitwits2 sometimes. You actually faked them out with your Tom Weedy "hide the ip" trick with those IPs. Sweet! Now both of us can run riot. Shakespeare *and* Pasquil etc. ad infinitum. The sky's the limit. pm me us when you get those other accounts working. --Samuel Clemens 20:09, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Holy Shit! I didn't know you could talk!! Knitwitted 20:27, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Please stop talking to me. I have too many accounts to keep track of who's who. Knitwittedx2 00:27, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

I think you will. I don't like the look of this Guy Gal. - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 15:33, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Kindly get yo' genders straight. 68.212.63.200 17:01, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
*hits Another n00b with a frying pan* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 15:42, 28 March 2011

Answer to Knitwitted

Well, I have 3 things to say to that:

1) I don't care

2) Your shit at humour in the first place

3) Why the fuck should I care about William Shakespeare?

- Barn-owl LOL vandalz 15:44, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

3) Exactly. Personally, I don't care if your shit at humour in the first place means why the fuck should I care about Bill Shakes-Peer. 68.212.63.200 16:57, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Could be worse, n00b. Your [sic] shit at grammar. Spıke ¬ 16:02 28-Mar-11

Sorry is my no good grammar. Who cares about proper structured sentence? - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 16:05, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

VFH, but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that ;) Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 16:10, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Who cares about Vulgar Freaking Hillbillies? (・A・) - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 16:30, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

I Need Some Help Please

I seem to be a bit of a needy knitwit regarding my first ever attempt to seed a page that hasn't been speedily deleted [here]. I'm not understanding why there is a picture of a dunce cap on my newly created page. Knitwitted (talk) 17:32, 28 March 2011 (UTC)

Spike the Dog (08e)
The closest that Spike has ever gotten to Chick-Fil-A.
If I may:
  1. It is not a dunce cap; it is a construction cone.
  2. Read the damned thing. Says "needs some content." Four paragraphs is not an article. As Hyperbole said above, this is acceptable in your userspace indefinitely; not in mainspace.
  3. Now on content: Regarding "totally holistic shit," you ought not begin an article either with swears or interpretation. It's supposed to look like an encyclopedia article until the reader digs in and thinks about what you're saying.
  4. See my personal recommendation on encyclopedia clichés. Spıke ¬ 17:56 28-Mar-11
SPIKE edit conflicted me, but here was my answer:
That's actually a traffic cone, not a dunce cap, meaning "this is under construction." In 2005, we used to allow people to "seed" a page without keeping an eye on what happened to it. The result was twenty thousand shitty little stubs about nothing - pages that said nothing more than something like "The Senior Prom of 1146 was a buttrape massacre and my name is Tim" - it was a horrible mess that we're still cleaning up today. Today, for something to stay in mainspace, we want it to be reasonably complete within 7 days: it needs a satirical concept, and a reasonable amount of content, and links, and a picture or two, and the whole shebang. If it's still just a "seed" after 7 days... it gets deleted, or occasionally moved to userspace. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 17:58, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Hyperbole edit conflicted me, but I want to know what you're doing seeding articles around here. That's nasty.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:00 Mar 28, 2011
Concur with Hype and sorry to walk over you; a postscript came to mind, as you can see. Spıke ¬ 18:02 28-Mar-11
Don't tell me that damn thing isn't a dunce cap. That's the signal my Uncle Daddy uses to mark tonight's dinner along our side of the road. Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. As reading is something I haven't figured out a use for, I'll have to settle for your Kindle edition as my sock puppet is the one who reads to me. Regarding "totally holistic shit"... typo... should have been "totally holishit stic". An extra "lol" to Skullthumper. Knitwitted 18:23, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

I can't breathe for all the serious business in here

I didn't even know we used terms like "edit war", and you made me look up persona non grata. I'm billing you for that.

Anyhow looks like a n00b did something hella dumb, and then did something else that was hella dumb, but then totally promised to stop being hella dumb so we should stop being hella dumb and just let him mature naturally. Like a fine wine. Or an angsty teenager. At any rate I think we can get rid of that "Sockpuppet of the Month" junk. He made a single other account out of boredom, doesn't use it, and edited as an IP - been there, done that, felt stupid. I think we ought to declare UN:N on the whole issue.

And if he screws up again, we can just shoot him on sight!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:24 Mar 28, 2011

P.S. I think a lot of our miscommunication on this issue stems from the fact that he's got a sense of humor that's Modusoperandi-thick.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:26 Mar 28, 2011

It's a girl, Skully. Don't be such a sexist!! Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 18:27, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Correction: all new users are "it" until their first feature.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:34 Mar 28, 2011
*AHEM* My first feature appeared at the age of 12 thankyouverymuch. Knitwitted 18:37, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
The entity has erred. Let us see if it takes coherent shape. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 18:35, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
I don't have a feature yet. Does that make me an it? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:49, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
This converse is really discombobulated. The SPoTM nomination was supposed to be for me. If you check your records I've done a lot more than creating "a single other account out of boredom." The reality is that I wrote most of 19th century American literature under someone else's name. Why you friggin admins and muckety-muckets haven't got it is beyond me. Too much time trolling porn sites? If there was any justice at all here you would elect me Sockie of the 19th century for all time and ban both me and my invention, User:Knitwitted.--Samuel Clemens 13:07, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
But I don't want to use your stinky Ban. I like my girly Soft-and-Dri. Kindly decease from unpitting my arms. Knitwitted 13:13, March 30, 2011 (UTC)

Can I Steal Borrow Steal This?


Thanks! Knitwitted 18:35, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

You mean so you can be a girl for real? Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 18:41, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Well I guess it's a she then. Or would be, if there were girls on the Internet.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:41 Mar 28, 2011
Only my sockpuppet knows for sure. Knitwitted 18:44, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Symbol delete vote Wait I'm a complete idiot. That's a Modusoperandi article. I'm so confused.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:43 Mar 28, 2011
Clearly, Knitwitted is a sock of Modus and he was a lady all along. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 18:45, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Someone's getting trolled here, and I think it might just be all of us.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:56 Mar 28, 2011
Okay boys... show's over. Much obliged for the fun but I'm off to do some serious editing on my scholarly articles. Later! Knitwitted 19:01, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Has Knitwitted even written an article that hasn't gotten deleted yet? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:35, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Yes. On my own blog. Knitwitted 20:42, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Oops!! How the heck did this one get thru the Un-wikimpedian censors? Knitwitted 20:54, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Um... it didn't. It's in the ICU. Have a look at some of our featured articles. As a point of reference, I usually point people to The Bourne Pottery Class. See how that has entire paragraphs and pictures and stuff? And how it makes fun of something specific? And how it's funny? That's basically what you're aiming for. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:01, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Gosh darn it! That damn fucking dunce cap is back. Knitwitted 21:02, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Oh heck! I don't like to be funny. I don't like people laughing at me. It makes me feel needy and prone to acne break-outs. Knitwitted 21:05, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
If you don't like to be funny, this maaay not be the ideal website for you. You could try Illogicopedia, where they don't really seem to care whether you're funny... Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:07, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
O shoot! I thought this was Illogicopedia. Sorry. Let me grab my User:Samuel Clemens sock puppet and we'll hit the weed elsewhere. Knitwitted 21:10, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
What Hyperbole said. If that is your sense of humour, should maybe try Illogicopedia or Encyclopedia Dramatica, or somewhere else. It's just that we're a satire wiki. Ever read the Onion? We're like the wiki version of that. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:10, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
And Wendius Augustus has an ICU on it. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:12, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Well, you should really only go to Encyclopedia Dramatica if your sense of humor is sneaking up on eleven year old girls and punching them in the back of the head, and then laughing at their hilarious tears. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:12, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry, but the server is glitching what I edit, Hyperbole. I had no idea you were even here.
What the fuck is going on? Ah crap, now I ruined the conversation. -HumoristAbout-logoEAEgalitarian Aspie
Since I'm talking to myself now, i should point out I'm User:Bad Shroom, but not a sockpuppet. just a clean slate. -HumoristAbout-logoEAEgalitarian Aspie
Would have been better to mention that earlier. I've gone ahead and indefinitely blocked that account, since you can't have two active accounts at once. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:23, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Gadzooks!! Who the heck are all these people??? And more importantly, WTF are they doing on my private talk page??? Knitwitted 21:33, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
Hyperbole, I should mention that I'm also Fnoodle. BANS AHOY  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 00:45 Mar 29, 2011

As an interested observer of the aboveforementioned conversation

I am intrigued by the possibility that this Knitwitted and Clemens may not be a sockpuppet of Modus or Gomphog or Hardwick of proper fame, but an actual new person who has taken nest on the site. If so, we are a very lucky bunch indeed, for here lies an intelligence whose presence will amaze and amuse us in the times to come. If they are all Modus or Mordillo or Mhaille or another of the M's, we find amusement in the present but mourn the future that may have been. If new, I welcome you with appreciation of your work. If an already wandering minstrel, congratulations on tapping into a portion of your psyche which is very fun indeed. Aleister 2:49 30-3-'11

I am intrigued by the possibility that your welcome is well-written! Many thanks for seeing it my way! I can vouch for our authorticity and that we (or at least I) are in no way associated with anything remotely reeking of M's (other than the eatery of M&Ms). Hugs and good day to you! Knitwitted 11:07, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
I object once more. "Aleister" -- if that is indeed your real name -- Why is this comment appearing on the talk page of one who is obviously my sockie? Moreover, I suggest you check out Knitwitted's reputation on Wikipedia, where ALL ONE of her edits have been spontaneously reverted for their malicious drive-by character. Drill down through the history if you want to see what I mean. She has no sense of humor at all without me. Moreover, per Wikimedia guidelines under subsection I forgot which one of Rule 17.17, this comment is obviously NOT RC. To be RC it must be posted on the talk page of the ACTUAL editor, not one of his Sockies. --68.55.45.214 12:14, March 30, 2011 (UTC) Do not delete this comment. I forgot to Login, no, actually I forgot my password and Knitwitted refused to give it to me. I really am me, and she is me too. Got it? Look me up under Mark Twain if you want to leave a real comment.
"She has no sense of humor at all without me." In all come hitherness, I might have to agree with you on that one provided you re-spell "humor" as "humour". Knitwitted 12:51, March 30, 2011 (UTC) Praise be you unsock your puppet at the appropriate times.

I would like to Apologise

Hello. I am deeply sorry about what I have said and acted to you in the past. I was hoping that maybe we could forget the past, and get along? You seem like a nice guy, even if your start was shaky at best. I'm hoping we can shake hands, and be friends.

Friends? ʘ‿ʘ - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 17:55, March 30, 2011 (UTC)

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