User talk:Mordillo

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:And thanks for [ protecting me]. --{{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig1}} 04:22, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
:And thanks for [ protecting me]. --{{User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig1}} 04:22, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
== Reaction from Prehistory96 to {{PAGENAME}} ==
You huffed my page, [[User:Prehistory96/line]]. Revenge will take place. Unless you give your reasons for huffing the page I made, I will huff your pages. Beside the page was in <span style="color:darkred">MY NAME</span>.
== Reaction from Prehistory96 to {{PAGENAME}} ==
You huffed my page, [[User:Prehistory96/line]]. Revenge will take place. Beside the page was in <span style="color:darkred">MY NAME</span>.
== Reaction from Prehistory96 to {{PAGENAME}} ==
You huffed my page, [[User:Prehistory96/line]]. Revenge will take place. Beside the page was in <span style="color:darkred">MY NAME</span>.

Revision as of 18:23, April 8, 2010




Welcome to my talk page. Now shut the fuck up and go write an article (or leave a new message at the bottom )


--Mn-z 15:21, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

And? No flowers? No dinner? No drinks? ~Jewriken.GIF 15:24, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
Nope. Just plain old Chloroform. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 15:32 • Saturday, 13-03-2010
I'm not late am I?! Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 17:08, Mar 13 2010

I am sooooooooooo confused why my post got deleted....hahaha this is my attempt to write a message as you requested....soooooooooooooo can I repost my crap?



Mordillo is GAY. he is the worst admin EVER he sux. He huffed my article!!! because i didn't read some gay book. Even though my riting was stil funny. i dot like him and niobody does because he is gay and stupid and ugly and retarted and fat. i wish he will gatsde-opped and permabenned and goes to the moon or a gay retared place. he is GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!!! HE IS THE WORST PERSON EVER. HE IS SO BAD. I HOPE HE GET SOME SICK. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Every new user (talk • contribs)

We aim to please. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:03, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
That was HELPME, by the way, not me. Although I think much of it applies to you. :) Just restore mah arbicle that j00 huffed. NOW, CUNT. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 12:24 • Sunday, 14-03-2010
(: Of course I'm not serious, that was actually supposed to be your raep, but I didn't wake up early enough. :(Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 18:21, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
Also, I am very offended that this criticism has not been added to your userpage yet. What, I wasn't good enough for you?! Hmph. Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 18:23, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
I try to keep it authentic. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:26, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

HowTo:Spot a Terrorist

I was just about to start this up, but I saw that you huffed it in November of last year. Why was it huffed or is it nothing that I need to watch our for when making the page. Rifting Icons-flag-us Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain Icons-flag-ca 382 - LOB17px-Compassrose.gif 02:31, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

I created it in your userspace, anyway, bro.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 02:50, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
It was some idiot creating a cyberbullying article under this heading, feel free to create your own article. In general, if an article was huffed in the past, unless you're creating an exact copy of that, you can recreate and create your own version. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:18, March 14, 2010 (UTC)


Hehehe....wait...dammit! —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 17:57, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Too little too late. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:04, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
I blame the media. —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 18:17, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
I blame the Irish. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 18:22 • Sunday, 14-03-2010
I blame Canada. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:23, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
The liberal media and Irish and Canucks and Muslims and Jews and...uh....the Pope...yeah...Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 18:31, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
Yeah. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:33, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

Actual important stuff

Can you semi-protect HowTo:Run away from home? It's been receiving quite a bit of IP vandalism. Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 02:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Yep, gave it 3 months. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:35, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Afghan bombing shocks and confuses millions‎; 12:46 . . (-18) . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (Removed category "Iraq" (using HotCat)) [rollback] should have pointed out the difference to George Bush jnr. a few years ago, you could have made the world a very different place. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

CONSPIRACY!! I should have known Mordillo would be behind the scenes... somewhere. --Chiefjustice3DS 12:53, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Hush. You saw nothing. A Mossad helicopter will be landing on your roof within minutes for a few brief words. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
You will never find me, I know the truth and I shall tell- who are you people? What's in the bag? Agh No!! Not the face!! nooooooooo....
.... Mordillo is a really great guy actually and I would fully support absolutely anything he suggested, no doubt about it. --Chiefjustice3DS 13:01, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
/me checks the time. I think they set a new record today. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:02, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Apparently, they've decided to always take at least a few minutes so people won't realise every single building in the world has a secret Mossad listening post hidden inside the walls. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:08, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Ha! :D FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 13:58 • Monday, 15-03-2010


Get a vote from an admin? I must have been the best noob, ever. In all of eternity.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 18:54, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry about that, Mordillo. He gets excited. Back! Back into your cage! /pokes HELPME with a stickPaizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 20:57, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
Hey! How did you get away?! I put you in a straitjacket. :OSir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 20:58, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Israel embarrassed to announce settlements during Biden visit

This story is yours to write. How hard could it be to put one over on Biden? Tell him they weren't really new settlements, and everyone is happy. Spıke Ѧ 23:35 15-Mar-10 We aim to please. Now give me some audio magic. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:37, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Have I really not been on this talk page since it was archived?

That is a deplorable state of affairs - your talk page was significantly low on awesomeness (by as much as 47%, I'd say). Fortunately, I have now arrived to rectify matters. How are you doing, old chap? I'm slowly gaining the loyalty of my crack squad, and scanning planets like it's going out of fashion. And still not in love with the combat, but there you go. Story is still a good one, and that's what really matters. Hope they're setting up something awesome for 3... Oh yeah, and how's, you know, real life? --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:48, Mar 16

Sorry! Sorry! I'm having a hellish week at work. So, yes, it has been so long since your presence glorified my page that it's extremely low on awesomeness. Of course, it's high on dicks lol though, as Opty keeps coming even though I got a restraining order. So, doing goodly! Got a new car (which is parked at work till I get my parking permit so I still take the metro which irks me greatly) and all of the baby things are coming in a week. Say, is it me or is this whole baby thingy is expensive even before the little bugger is born?!
With MA2, I'm actually close to finish it for the 2nd time around, with a different character. I love it, and the fighting system doesn't get me too much. Only thing I really can't stand is the star scanning. It's the Mako of the new generation. Also, I've decided that on Saturday I'm going to get Dragon Age and call it the last game of my life. Afterwards it's all pacifiers and diapers. And how have you been? How is Mrs. UU and UUette? ~Jewriken.GIF 20:26, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
HEY, WAITAMINUTE! I don't see a single mention of my dick on your talkpage anywhere. I demand you apologize for this insult immediately. -DicksLOL23:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
Having a day off today to spend time with the missus and the offspring. They're great, although Mini UUette is not interested in sleeping this afternoon, even though she's overtired. Trying to type quietly is not that easy! She's so beautiful though - I keep melting every single time she looks right at me. You have a wonderful time ahead of you, trust me. Also, gaming doesn't completely end after fatherhood, don't forget babies sleep up to 17 hours every day - there's plenty of time while they're snoozing and the missus is catching up on sleep... I've played more ME2 since the baby arrive than I did before. It is bloody expensive though, and as far as I can see, that gets no easier! On ME2, have to say I prefer the scanning to the Mako - spending minutes trying to coax the goddamn thing up the last foot of a particularly steep hill was more annoying than scanning half the bloody galaxy! Also: DicksLOL for Sysop! --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:57, Mar 19
I would very much like to support the motion of an increase in mentions of dick(s) on Mordillo's talk page. --Chiefjustice3DS 15:25, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Two hours?! Were you serious?

Penis, man. Penis. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 20:11 • Tuesday, 16-03-2010

I unblocked you after 8 minutes. I'm obviously serious. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:54, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

I don't mean to be a bother

But I can has IRC powerz? We need ops yo. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 23:53 Mar 16 2010

Sorry, I'll try to login tonight yo ~Jewriken.GIF 08:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
I can has ops too? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:21, 18 Mar
EMC - came last night, you weren't there. How many ops do we have there anyway? ~Jewriken.GIF 20:27, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
Usually when I'm on, there's nobody who's actively opped. Though, Olipro has ops doesn't he? Also Charitwo, right? They're usually lurking about. And I was serious about giving me ops dammit. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN20:33, 18 Mar
Same, but Olipro is rarely available and charitwo sleeps sometimes (so I've heard). Anyways, sorry I didn't make it - I was violently ill, vomiting mostly. I'll keep myself logged on so whenever you come in to do it just ping me. Thanks. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 23:37 Mar 18 2010

Nameless user

Hi boss, there is a user who shall remain nameless who keeps changing Game:Zork/north to some odd n00b test thing. I've reverted him a few times and asked on his talk poage now that he stops doing this, but I would rather not get into an ongoing revert war with him. Could I get you to keep an eye on this in an official capacity and make sure that the game stays as funny as possible?                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 06:31, Mar 17 2010 UTC

PS. I love the artwork in the top left hand corner of your talk page. It's almost as though you are a user who is underneath the glory that is uncyc. Like a User Under, or something. With a daughter.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 06:33, Mar 17 2010 UTC
Actually, I think you should take a further step, as it appears that Nameless Joe is a sock for N00b eater judging by his activities. You want to look into that?                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 06:44, Mar 17 2010 UTC
Nameless who? ~Jewriken.GIF 08:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:48, Mar 18

Excuse me Mr Dillo

It appears a couple pages got missed when this got deleted. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN15:28, 18 Mar

All water under the bridge now. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:36, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
That's why I love you. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN15:40, 18 Mar

You >:o

Meanypants! —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 21:43, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

That's Mister Meanypants ~Jewriken.GIF 21:44, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
I suppose we should stop vandalizing each other's userpages then? —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 21:46, 19 March 2010 (UTC)
NOOOOOOO (Seriously though, double redirects=bad, which is probably the real reason he told you off)Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 22:16, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
Never mind...Can you restore my regular userpage at least?:(Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 22:18, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
MORDILLO CREATED A DOUBLE REDIRECT LOLZ HE SHUD B B& B& B&! (The arrow means redirect)User:Pelargonium ---> Fail ---> FailureSir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 23:34, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Zim is in IRC

Uh, what the title says. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 15:43, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, I'm on irc again. Chers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 20:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Double questions

Question the first: In the UnLikely chance that inagaddadavida gets featured, is it possible to give half credits to three people. PF4Eva initiated the page and laid down the skeleton, I provided the toke, and Funnybony gave some good ending edits and ideas. Are there 1/3 credits?

Question the deuce: There is a discussion about the amount of categories on "Poop throwing monkeys". I've asked Mn-z if an exception can be made to the limit rule for this one page. Rather than explain here, at length, please see his talk page. I'll ask MrN too, as he was an arch-enemy of the monkeys and so is bonded to them as arch-enemies are forever bonded to their prey. Thanks again, enjoy all stuff and everything in between. Aleister in Chains 20:08 20 3 MMX

No problem with regards tp inagadwhatchamacallit. With regards to the categories - there is no rule forbidding it (nor am I aware of any "community consensus"). However, I do think that 30 categories would be more than enough for a single article as they do exist, by the end of the day, to help find articles. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:25, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks, so half credit to three is alright. Spread the wealth. Categories, Mn-z may have been mistaken there, about consensus. On this one page there are 84 or a few less with direct application and relevance to the page, which is interesting in itself and fun as well. If I may add those back and a few others in as they are found, without adding in any of the all-joke (USA's next target, etc.) category's which are just for funny, then the categories would serve the purpose of listing relevant pages and, in doing so, also create the page effect I was going for. Monkeys on parade. Al en'chain 20:40 20 3 mmx
I'm trying to figure out if there's a question there or is it just a declarative statement :) ~Jewriken.GIF 20:42, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
Still on both questions. I'll add in here the extra: ??? .I'm still unclear if categories that fit a page shouldn't be used if the number gets too high, or if it's alright to use them if they fit well. If I must pare down, can I have 40, or 50, to play with? Thanks, Al de'chain 20:53 20 3 mmx
I don't have any specific objections, I just wonder why do you think it adds to the article to have so many categories on it. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:57, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
Just for the look and fun of it. The topic is so base (at least on first appearance) yet so full at the same time (an antropology professor is brought from a human social-personality state to his most primeval self--pooping in his own hand and throwing it at a group of other primates--within literally about 15 seconds) that back when it was fun-nommed for VFH by Roman I was at first, "ahh what did he do that for", to, when it made me realize the range of the topic summarized on what is actually a simple page, I actually would have voted for it for VFH without reservation. That was, of course, after one of the voters said it wasn't antropology, so I made the guy an antropology prof! Then when I realized how many actual categories it covered that became interesting, to find all the applicable ones (and then HappyTimes found more). As a side benefit, it made me much more familiar with available categories. Thanks again, Al 21:10 20 3 mmx
NP. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:13, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
Side note: I thought it would be funny to have the list of applicable categories be longer than the actual article. Just my twisted sense of humor I suppose.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  22 Mar 2010 ~ 04:15 (UTC)


Sorry, i made a failure article. I made a chronic mistake with tags. Won't do again. Ynis 14:48, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

No problem. I though it was just genetic babble. I can restore it for you but I would advise to put it under a different name, as 1337 names aren't accepted very well. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:56, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
restored under a new name. You do need to put some work in it, it seems a bit random (and very short) at the moment. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:02, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, very funny

Now can I have my userpage back please? You said you'd protect it for one day, and it's been like three. —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 23:26, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

I was going to ask Mordillo about this myself, but I wanted to see how long it would take you to ask.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 23:46, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
IM FUCKING SHY YOU BITCHFAG —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 23:48, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
Sorry, that one day was supposed to be the automatic expiry, I just managed to put it in the wrong field O_O --~Jewriken.GIF 00:03, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, I was wondering about the "indefinite" part. :) Anyway, thanks and stuff. —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 00:37, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

In a what now?

Thank you for popping the page onto features. Appreciated. I'm happier for the other guys on this one. Thanks. Aleister in Chains 20:45 22 3 MMX

That'll be 2.34 USD andathankyouverymuch ~Jewriken.GIF 20:47, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Dere More Dilo

More Dillo, you is a dum fuker. I haet yu. You be gay, AND fagolishious. Dond be gay you gay. I luv you thow man. Hugs and kissis. Teh Wodbruninbator 00:55, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

I believe that dere is spelled dir. ~Jewriken.GIF 05:24, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
I beeleve you are spelled G-A-Y. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 14:39, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
Boobies? ~Jewriken.GIF 21:36, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
Am I too late to get in on calling Mordillo gay? It's one of my favorite hobbies you know. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN21:38, 23 Mar
And they say my spelling is bad. It's obviously G-E-I-E. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:50, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
As long as you still kiss me after sex, I don't care how you spell it. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN21:52, 23 Mar
Good try Opty, but I believe we were talking about how gay Mordillo is. He's so gay, he likes to do gay things with other people, sometimes even men. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 00:39, March 24, 2010 (UTC)


If a person who isn't here and hasn't been here for a while has an article I wanted to write in their userspace that they were working on, is there any way to start it without huffing theirs? More specifically, this.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 21:34, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

I don't see a problem with that. It's a paragraph in a user space, not really a full blown article. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:36, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
/me shuffles my feet Well, that's great, except I don't know how to start an article without searching it and it saying "This page doesn't exist, so create it, noob!"Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 21:40, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
Maybe you could search for your subpage then? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN21:44, 23 Mar
You can edit it now. The problem you had (which I didn't notice) was that he created a redirect page to his user space (which is a no no). You just need to go back to the redirect page and edit it normally. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:49, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
I was planning to move it to my userspace using "redirect supressed" but that's an admin power only, I'm guessing. Oh well, Construction can work.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 21:53, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
Bots and rollbacks also have the power to suppress redirects, although rollbacks have the normal pagemove limit. --Mn-z 00:53, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Quasi Features

So exactly what determines if something is a quasi-feature or not? number of for votes? vote difference? I'm honestly curious cause I don't know. I feel as though The Camera Obscura Collection of Hans Helmuth Saltzman (1602-1668) should have gotten a quasi with +6.5 and 13 for votes, but then again, just my opinion... --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 18:40 EST 23 Mar, 2010

Yep sorry, I miscalculated. All sorted now. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:19, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

I know your busy, but......

RAPE! VIOLENT RAPE! UBER VIOLENT RAPE!--Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 00:43, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

You're really late.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 00:54, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
Who gives a rats ass!?!? I can rape wherever I want, whenever I want, Whoever I want! Its a free country, dammit!--Grue JammyDirectorEye 4WILLExplode 3YOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 01:18, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
You need to get laid. Urgently. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:29, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Fairly major outbreak of cyberbullying

See this and and this. The character Fizz Brown is actually played by someone called Jennie McAlpine and not by Nicola Hanley who, as far as I can see, is a private individual and the victim of cyberbullying. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:00, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Image:Fizz.jpg and File:Nic2.jpg are also the pictures which need to be deleted. I could use that picture of Les Battersby though, so don't delete it. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 11:07 Mar 24 2010
Nevermind now Mordillo. UU already jumped all over it. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 11:21 Mar 24 2010
Yeah, I got this. --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:22, Mar 24
HE GOT DIS. YA HEARD? --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 11:23 Mar 24 2010
Dat beeyatch UU sho' got back, too. Shake dat booty, UU! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:26, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
YA HEARD? Sorry, it's the only Ebonics I know. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 11:27 Mar 24 2010
It's more than I know - but then, being a white middle-class British Jew, the idea of me speaking Ebonics is so utterly ridiculous I wouldn't even try. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:36, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
I believe Herr UU took care of everything? Let me know if the bugger missed anything. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:07, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
I told you: I got it. --UU - natter UU Manhole 12:11, Mar 24
When he says it, he means venereal disease. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
No, he means THE POWAH! ~Jewriken.GIF 12:29, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
That too, no doubt. But after what happened last night, I can confirm he also has venereal disease. Sorry to break it to you like this, UU, but my results came back positive this morning. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:32, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
I keep telling you: you're confusing me with Orian. Just because he spends too much time altogether on my talk page, you have to learn the difference. --UU - natter UU Manhole 12:38, Mar 24
I'll take your word for it. After all, it's tricky to tell who someone is when they're wearing a gimp mask. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:41, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
I believe Orian is the one with the pear shaped ass. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:59, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
And this tattoo on the left buttock? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:01, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

You, sir, are hilarious

I love the Happy Sasquatch Day logo! Thanks for adding the flashing to the lettering. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:13, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Just added the blink template, not even sure what this is about :) ~Jewriken.GIF 14:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
Two sasquatch related news articles on the main page with the same pic, plus today's UnFunny is about sasquatches. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 15:01, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
Sasquatch poetry reading Happy Sasquatch Appreciation Day!

March 24 is Sasquatch Appreciation Day, as decreed by Reverend zim_ulator. Please join me in celebration of the noble Sasquatch and his innumerable contributions to Uncyclopedia.

You, sir, are lolarious

I'm bored. Amuse me. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 15:24 • Wednesday,

Did you hear the one about the Frenchmen, the Englishmen and the Israeli? ~Jewriken.GIF 17:59, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
No. Do tell. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 18:07 • Wednesday, 24-03-2010
DO TELL! FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:02 • Thursday, 25-03-2010
Ah! Yes, I know this joke. Well, a Frenchman, an Englishman, and an Israeli walk into a, I forget the rest of the joke, but your mom is a whore. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 12:00 Mar 26 2010
An English Christian, a French Algerian Muslim and an Israeli Orthodox Jew walk into a bar. Then they all sat down together and had a discussion on the many benefits of a multicultural society. (Told to me by a British Communist Party member - the extreme left don't tell the best jokes...) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:08, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Israeli have a dinner engagement with their wives. The English gentlemen turns to his wife and says - pass we the sugar, my sweet. The Romantic Frenchman turns to his wife and says -pass me the honey, honey. And the Israeli who does not want to be left behind, turns to his wife and shouts at her - PASS ME THE STEAK, YOU COW. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:35, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
An American, an Israeli, and an Egyptian are touring the world in a opaque-widnowed bus. They were not being informed which cities they're in - the American held his hand out of the window, it got shot, so he said "I think we might be in LA" - A few days later, the Israeli held his hand out of the window, it got hit by a thrown rock, so he said "I guess this is Jerusalem" - the Egyptian held his hand out of the window, his wrist watch got picked, so he said "this is Egypt". FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 12:56 • Friday, 26-03-2010

People Who Like to F$%! Naked

Just curious: did this qualify as quasi-featured? Thanks for your help. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:43, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

My math was off, as always. Fixed now, thanks for the heads up. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:44, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
Y$%! M$%!illo, l*%#n m-%$!Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 22:45, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks for the fix! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 06:42, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

All the things

Thanks for the quasi nom above. That was unexpected. I like how Why wouldn't spell fuck on your page, had to go with F$%! (how he chose those evil symbols is beyond me).

Thanks too for the Garage sale feature, and esp. for your vote, appreciated. Your vote more than the feature.

As for the formatting, on my laptop when it is collapsed like that it doesn't look good, the format, and runs all over itself. This is a page where different screens matter apparantly, as you like it squinced, as did Romartus, and on other screens it will look fine the other way and out of format this way. Mysteries. I wanted to separate the "Later" section to show the passage of time (22 years or so), and when the spaces are removed what happens on my screen it runs right up alongside of the constitution one space after Gramps' last breakdown-rant. How does it look on yours? I'm not computer savvy enough to know why different screens format things so differently. Thanks again, for all of these things (but, of course, esp. for poop throwing monkeys!) Al in Chains 19:14 25 3 mmx

No problem for all of the above. With regards to the Garage Sale formatting, it looks fine on my display. I changed the Later heading to a level one headline to make the separation more distinct. If this still doesn't look good, can you upload a screen shot? ~Jewriken.GIF 19:41, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
A bit better. Some of the format is still off, but it's a trade-off when it comes to screen view, and nobody has complained. Saturday is almost here, so that means--garage sales! Al en'chain 12:55 26 3 MMX

UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)

--Chiefjustice3DS 22:04, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

"ohai, here is another Zionist bringing you blessings from the holyland"

Ha! Shabbat shalom, also. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:36, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Shabat Shalom and nearly happy Passover! Also, Allahu Akbar, but this is besides the point. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:38, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
On a related note, It appears that I don't have rollback rights. --Mn-z 16:40, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
That is probably because you never asked for rollback rights. You know the drill, in twenty words or less describe how you're going to abuse your rollback rights in the most damaging manner. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:44, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
You having a seder this year? We have friends coming over, which means that once the afikomen has been eaten - or, in all likelihood, stolen and eaten by the ferrets - it's more likely to be a wine-tasting/piss-up. Not that I'm complaining! Chag Pesach sameach - Passover templates to be added to talkpages tomorrow at some point. Also, FU two edit conflicts in a row. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:46, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
Why don't you just block the guy doing all those? ☆The Solar Dragon (Talk)☆ 17:01, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
Because he is really amusing? Also, you need to fix your sig. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:02, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
? It works fine for me... ☆The Solar Dragon (Talk)☆ 17:02, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
I know it does, but it spills the whole code on the page rather than use a signature template. This page explains how to do it. Let me know if you need help. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:03, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
subst-something or some code related to it. --nldr 17:04, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
Done. User:Solar Dragon/sig 17:07, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
Perfect, if only everyone were that efficient :) ~Jewriken.GIF 17:09, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
I'm used to wiki code. Not that hard to understand really. Being on many wikis help. User:Solar Dragon/sig 17:11, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
I've had bot rights for over a year without abusing them. --Mn-z 18:13, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
Read again what I said - I need twenty words of less of how you will abuse the rollback power. Only morally corrupted users can wield a rollback plunger. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:13, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
I'll use my bot to spam "Mordillo's a Jewfag" and rollback powers to edit war anyone who reverts it. --Mn-z 00:06, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
You win FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 00:11 • Sunday, 28-03-2010
Indeed you do. Enjoy your new plunger. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:00, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
Oy vey! Is it Passover already? My luakh says it's not until zunfargang Tuesday. Am I shpet? Compassrose Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  01:54, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Various from Spike

I appreciate your intervention on Barack Obama. We have been around before with this user (Sections 8 and 11 of the article's talk page) and talking does no good.

Separately, Zim put out a call for opinions in Section 10 of UnNews:Newsroom that has so far been met with silence. It concerns proposed new text for the template that guides a user about to write a new UnNews story. Please weigh in if you have an opinion. Spıke Ѧ 23:50 27-Mar-10

The First of the Fourth

I was noticing that 1 April is coming up very soon. I don't know if it's an Uncyclopedia tradition to do anything with it, and if Unc goes by the British tradition of the jokes end at noon or the American that they go on all day. But around these parts we like celebrating April Fool's Day. OK, I do anyway. Compassrose Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:21, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Look over the main page in the past April firsts. Typically we run it for the whole day. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:02, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
...or even longer, depending on if an admin can be bothered changing it over at Zulu midnight. And check your e-mail! User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sigheil Sunday, 21:23, Mar 28 2010 UTC
I will aynkukn zikh it. Dank. Compassrose Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  01:59, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Pesach 5770

Hag sameach! May your constipation last for forty years to remind you of the poor Israelites! ~Jewriken.GIF 20:03, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Here is a cat left over from the garage sale. Please give him a good home. Your vote appreciated, thank you. And happy holiday! Al d'chainy 23:56 28 3 mmx

Main Page Unprotection

It appears as though TKF deleted the mainpage and restored it, which strips the protections from a page. It appears he was deleting a game's sub-pages, and accidentally deleted the mainpage in the process. --Mn-z 00:05, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I've realized that later on. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:34, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

A Goy's Guide to Passover

Just had an idea for an article--a Gentile, probably well-intentioned, gets it all wrong. What think? I know it's rather late for such an idea. (I'm posting this on RabbiTechno's page too). Compassrose Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  03:32, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Good idea, can compliment Jewish Holidays. I'll have a chat with the Rabbi. ~Jewriken.GIF 12:34, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
Cool. I'll check out that article. Also here's a stupid riddle I just made up:
Q. What do you call a non-Jewish homosexual man?
A. A goy gay guy.
--Compassrose Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn) 

"Chag Pesach Kasher veSameach!" I think that's Hebrew for "Happy Mazda balls!" WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:50, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

More like, have a nice holiday and enjoy your matzah induced constipation. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:30, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Ruling request

Passover, isn't that when the Holy Ghost yells BOOOO!! at the eldest son and makes him cry before bedtime? That's what I always thought. --- A request for a ruling please. I'd like to VFH "Sideboob" at some point, but some people moan about NSFW. Two images: the bouncing vid on the page now, and the pic on the article's Talk page. Both are marked NSFW on their files, yet both seem fine. Just breasts in bathing suits, and the bouncy vid has been used on a template stored on talk pages. Can I non-NSFW these, and what about the Sideboob page itself? OK, thanks, and I'll put out the garlic to scare the Holy Ghost away. Aleister in Chains 13:30 29 3 mmx

I see no issue with the article at all. Let the moaners be moaners. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks. Another quick question. An "old" user is blanking pages right now, but he/she has a very good page on their user space, "Non-huffable kitten". If the guy gets banned does that page have to die with him? Al, a few minutes later
My mistake, I'm one of those demons of stupidity. He's blanking his own user pages, not mainspace pages. Al en'shame 13:48 29 3 mmx

I may not be around much

We've had a death in the family, so I don't know when I'll be around for the next week, at least. Would you mind checking occasionally UnNews to see if everything's OK? Thanks. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:38, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. Sorry to hear that, Zim. Please convey my condolences. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:09, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

It can has be sysop tiem nao?

Accordin' to my watch, time's up! Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 21:04, Mar 30 2010

Silly Mormons, always so late. Uncyclopedia talk:VFS Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 21:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
You hush, Mr. Too many tildes. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 21:34, Mar 30 2010
I blame the cabal.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 21:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
There is no cabal. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 21:51, Mar 30 2010
You're only saying that because we're on a cabal member's Mordillo's talk page!Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 21:56, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

What have you done for me lately

Mordillo, Zana, the excellent features youse recorded at the start of the month are still listed in the Top 10 Recent Audios (in {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}), for the sake of diversity, even though there are now 20 more recent ones. All by me. But this absolution will end in April and it is time for you to get the microphone back out of the attic. Spıke Ѧ 11:56 31-Mar-10

I'll try to get to it during the weekend. With work and trying to put a room for a baby it leaves little time to breath O_O ~Jewriken.GIF 20:13, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

A question that always plagues me at this time of year

...why don't we eat charoset all year round? It's delicious. That is all. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 18:28, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

You even use cabal terminology already mister that is all :). And to answer your question, eat charoset all year long, and you will look like the guy from super size me by the end of the year. That stuff is addictive. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:14, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
Cabal? What cabal? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 09:21, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

This is creepy weird

It's 4 in the afternoon over here. And where you are it's what, 10? Er, good afternoon night! Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:05, Mar 31 2010

Try Midnight. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:07, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
Hmm, midnight. That means Amsterdam, Barcelona, Belgrade, Berlin, Brussels, Budapest, Cairo, Capetown, Copenhagen, Frankfurt, Geneva, Harare, Johannesburg, Madrid, Oslo, Paris, Prague, Rome, Stockholm, Vienna, Warsaw, Zagreb, Zürich, or some area near one of those. That really narrows the location down! It's 22:28 here. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 22:28, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
You was right the first time. Now you know what life is like for Mordillo — full of fast living, dangerous women, and massive banhammers. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:36, Apr 1 2010
I think you mean "fast banhammers", "dangerous living", and "massive women". --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 00:39 Apr 1 2010
And now it is midnight over here. Good morning! Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 05:55, Apr 1 2010
I have nothing to add to this conversation except to say that Jews run the Vatican. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 06:04, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
So what? Donkeys run Egypt. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 11:50 • Thursday, 1-04-2010
Are you comparing Jews to donkeys? Also, it seems that Mr. Al Baradai will be running Egypt soon :) ~Jewriken.GIF 12:06, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Sure, everybody here hopes so. But the man will need to get some bits of the constitution changed first, which won't happen (easily) but heh, he's working on it.. Also, I'm not comparing Jews to donkeys; one of them is far superior to the other. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 12:20 • Thursday, 1-04-2010
Hey, I've just insulted you, why didn't you ban me?! WHYWHYWHY? FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 12:30 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Idea for April 1st

Great job on the main page template. However, it's missing something. How about one of these pictures with a caption of, "The only prank we pulled was on this guy, who we hit with a pie."? --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 09:19 Apr 1 2010

Maybe have the pictures on both sides of the template? --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 09:20 Apr 1 2010
How about what I just did? ~Jewriken.GIF 09:26, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
The bunny pancake thing? --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 09:33 Apr 1 2010
Yes. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:38, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
I give a B-. The South Korean Uncyclopedia's was much better though. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 10:14 Apr 1 2010
Link? ~Jewriken.GIF 11:17, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Indeed, great job! I love when Uncyclopedia gives a "screw you" to it's readers. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 09:40, Apr. 1, 2010
I thought we did that on a daily basis? ~Jewriken.GIF 09:43, April 1, 2010 (UTC)


Hi. You may have missed the tie at NOTM. Two "winners" there, which is always nice. Keeps an extra one in reserve in case one of the new Notm's leaves! Al in Chains 13:11 1 3 mmx

Yep! Thanks very much for noticing, completely missed that due to the colossal mess that was on NOTM. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:14, April 1, 2010 (UTC)


Have you seen "grade point average" on QVFD? No need to click on it as it's just a YouTube rickroll. Thing is, it has some sort of devious stealth link thingy which means it automatically redirects to YT when I click on it, so I can't huff it. How do you do deal with such chicanery? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:08, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

I believe this is Kip's idea of April Fool's joke. It's an external link that is made to look like an internal one. Doesn't exist on the wiki. Go and ban him now :) ~Jewriken.GIF 14:13, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
OIC - 'tis harmless enough, though. I'll ban him all the same :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:15, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
And thanks for answering my question to Aaron Associates. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:18, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
I find there is rarely a situation to which "ban Kip" is an inappropriate response. --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:25, Apr 1

Query II - Electric Boogaloo

Don't duck the question Mordillo - what dessert would you choose? --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:25, Apr 1

What were the options again? ~Jewriken.GIF 14:26, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Anything dessert-y. Of a dessert nature. Dessert is the concept I'm trying to get across here. --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:30, Apr 1
I'm blatantly ignoring your superior English here. I'd take either this or that. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:41, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Will either of those go well with custard? --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:48, Apr 1
Is there anything that doesn't go well with custard? Apart from curry, perhaps. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:49, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Probably humus. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:58, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
M&M's, too. I tried it with custard once. It tasted like... Semen. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 15:02 • Thursday, 1-04-2010
Funny you should mention hummus. Mrs. Rabbi and I often remark on how it goes with anything - we frequently have it with Italian, Chinese, Mexican and Indian food as well as with your usual falafel, salads and so on. We say the same of custard. Strange that they both go with anything except each other. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 15:04, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
It's matter and anti matter. --~Jewriken.GIF 15:11, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, I assumed it must be something along those lines. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 15:15, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Your ancestors were quite lucky

40 years of free desserts? Man, I'd sell my sons-to-be at a slave market for half that! FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 14:28 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Depends on the dessert. 40 years of sago wouldn't be to everyone's taste. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:30, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Hey, you're an admin already and you haven't banned me yet? *sniff* I voted for you! *sniff* FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 14:41 • Thursday, 1-04-2010
Hey Moosh, if I haven't known better I'd assume you're aiming for another ban. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:41, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
You're very smart, I have to admit :) FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 14:43 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Sir, I believe in plain speaking

I demand that you unblock me at once because reverting some insignificant “poopsmith” is hardly grounds for blocking someone, least of all a man of my limitless genius. In any case, I only reverted the mediocrity in question because of a simple misunderstanding. I thought that he was removing the article in question from VFD in order to save its existence as no consensus had been acquired on the part of the article in question, namely The United Spades of Amerika, the very definition of a bad article on Uncylopedia. Indeed, the article in question was the subject of a lengthy article by an internet critic on Uncyclopedia, entitled “The Internet’s Sphincter.”

I really don’t think I need to say anything else. --User:Ozymandiaz 03:16, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Sir, I think you need to learn when you're in a position to "demand" something and when you're not. Now, is not one of these situations. You reverted an admin on VFD while he was archiving a closed vote. The fact that you never bother to read and understand the rules and you keep bumping into people because your temper, does not exempt you. Even you being a man of limitless genius, which I'm still waiting for you to prove.

So yes, the ban stays. Have you bothered to say "sorry, I made a mistake" it would have been removed. But I get a rash when someone "demands" things.

I would also recommend you to stop ban evading, otherwise the original ban will grow significantly longer (alongside any other IPs you'll be using).~Jewriken.GIF 09:27, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I'm sorry. I was a bit drunk when I posted that last comment. --Ozymandiaz
Ban removed, be more careful in the future. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:05, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
That's quite obvious, actually. I guess you were also drunk the last three times you started troubles. You seriously need to lay off the booze, man. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 14:56 • Friday, 2-04-2010
Thanks very much Mordillo. Actually Fredd, I was sober the last three times I "caused trouble". ;) --Ozymandiaz 15:15, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Friday, 04:44, Apr 2 2010 UTC

Hello Grandad

I've been missing the Uncyc action and half decided to come back - despite appearing an unwieldy character lately. I brought this idea up again, since it is by far my best one. I'm guessing you don't have the time to participate but in case you do, you're welcome. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 06:24, April 2, 2010 (UTC)


SAFPAS For your vote in VFS

and as promised last time
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination.
Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present
to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice.

Rabbi Techno

I know you walk Uncyclopedia with impunity, but the free bagel has got to be worth it. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 10:02, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

FREE BAGELS! ~Jewriken.GIF 10:10, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Incidentally, what happens re. poopsmiths now? I can't quite remember how I was beaten senseless and forced to do it appointed to the position. I was fairly certain Chief would be next in line, but I wonder if Socky wants to do it? I believe Dexter's choice is Spike, who would undoubtedly be an excellent candidate provided he's around the place enough. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:35, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
How many do you think we need? One? Two? --~Jewriken.GIF 13:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Good point, with Dexter being away so often maybe two new ones might be a good idea. What do you think? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:32, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
I think two would be good. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:06, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
I agree. I was surprised by how little it actually entailed, but best to have an extra two to provide cover in case of absence, I suppose (though I can't see any reason why I wouldn't archive stuff from time to time if necessary). Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:09, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
That's because you're the better man. I personally hate archiving. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:10, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
I actually quite enjoy that sort of thing - laborious, repetitive tasks. I suppose it means I'm a boring bastard. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:14, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Up to the point when you're eating Cholent and then you're all like WOOOOO!!!! ~Jewriken.GIF 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Cholent is the source of much excitement and merriment when you have a sense of humour as immature and puerile as mine! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:31, April 2, 2010 (UTC)


I found a way to make Redundant transclude the content of Redundancy since it's more, you know, redundant. However, I would suggest protecting Redundant so that someone doesn't accidentally nuke the transclusion. If they make a change to Redundancy, the transclusion will make it show up on Redundant too. Wild at Heart, he who cleans up (Yell at me) 15:22, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I took it a step further. What do you think? ~Jewriken.GIF 16:35, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
I was about to say transclusion would be better, since changing Redundancy would also reflect a change to Redundant, but no one's edited Redundancy in forever so I guess it's all right. Wild at Heart, he who cleans up (Yell at me) 00:53, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

I is disappoint son.

This goes for all admins. You totally wasted a prime April Fools joke. I mean c'mon, if you had held the VFS vote, and revealed to DS and RT April 1 that the whole month of voting was for waste and then not give them any powers (and maybe even ban them) it would've been kinda epic. Just thought you should know. Disappoint, son. Icons-flag-it.png Don 15px-AAN.jpg20px-Oberst.jpg Puttano cHeDDs 15px-Jenny_Spy_Revised_Again.jpg 19px-Leprechaun_army.jpg 15px-TMMAN.jpeg 20px-Missmurder.jpeg 15px-SCBBQGPOS.jpg SBQ2 19:39,2April,2010

Well, son, I didn't see any bright ideas coming from your your outstanding intellect. Would such ideas emerge at the right time they would have presided on the front page. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:27, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
I was mad busy son. Icons-flag-it.png Don 15px-AAN.jpg20px-Oberst.jpg Puttano cHeDDs 15px-Jenny_Spy_Revised_Again.jpg 19px-Leprechaun_army.jpg 15px-TMMAN.jpeg 20px-Missmurder.jpeg 15px-SCBBQGPOS.jpg SBQ2 02:06,4April,2010

Happy birthday.

Jew. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:35, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much sir. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:50, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
J3wz c313br4t3 b1rthd4yz?!?! 1 th0ught th3y w3r3 h4tch3d!!!!1111Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 23:33, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
It's your birthday? Ah, so you can cry if you want to! Congratulaaaaaaaaaaaations and jubilAAAAAAAAAAtions! --Ozymandiaz 23:37, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Thank you all. Now where is my cake and silly hat?! ~Jewriken.GIF 23:41, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Can't you just go to church for that? I mean, you are Hebrew.:PSir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 23:43, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Do you charge for circumcisions? No I only keep the tips. --nldr 23:44, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
cake.jpg I made you a cake. —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!) 00:09, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
Do you realise that, unless you made that cake in strict accordance with the Passover rules, you've just condemned 'Dillo to some really harsh punishment? Or was that intentional? If so, no matter. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:14, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
Is your birthday really April 2? I went to a birthday party for a guy on April 2, seriously. Happy just after your birthday, then (of course it's still April 2 somewhere). WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:07, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Also if you want a silly hat for your birthday, I really can't think of anything sillier than this....and look; it's a hat and a cake!

File:Bunny pancake.jpg

WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:12, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Happy birthday Mordillo! Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 03:54, Apr 3 2010
Thank you all! Free circumcisions and matzas all around! (and my birthday is on the 3rd not the 2nd). ~Jewriken.GIF 16:15, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, so that wasn't your birthday party I went to. And I brought a gift too because I thought it was you. I guess I shouldn't have given that girl a banstick. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:57, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Random question

Does what you put on NOTM apply to Rcmurphy votes too? Because I like to vote for a good noob and give some vote for or against Rc.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 00:10, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Let's say it's valid for now, because with what happened in March I couldn't figure out who won and missed Tragicbooty completely. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:16, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Another voting thing- in my daily maintenance runs, I like to put award templates in the proper places, remove outdated templates, put the people's rankings on Order of Uncyclopedia, etc. Well, I was working on that yesterday, and I saw that the voting for the Emmanuel Goldstein Award of Excellence in the Distribution of Misinformation and the Foolitzer Prize was not archived. Are they stretching into this month, or did everyone just forget? I'm trying to figure out who gets what awards and when.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 20:49, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
I think everyone forgot. Feel free to archive it. I think Spike got it this month didn't he? ~Jewriken.GIF 21:26, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Well, I started, but Uncyclopedia:Emmanuel_Goldstein_Award_of_Excellence_in_the_Distribution_of_Misinformation/winners and the Foolitzer past winners page are both protected. Oops.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 22:37, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Never noticed that. I've unprotected the Goldestein page. I took care of the FP already. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:49, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Done, thanks for the assistance, Mr. Sir Dillo. :) Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 22:53, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
No no, thank you. ~Jewriken.GIF 22:55, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Happy birthday

I deserve my own header because I'm awesome like that. You're awesome too, but less. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 12:01 • Saturday, 3-04-2010

Yom Huledet Sameach! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:06, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Koll 'aam wenta bkheir. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 12:13 • Saturday, 3-04-2010
Toda and shukran! --~Jewriken.GIF 16:21, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Your birthday was today? Good, I was not late, then :) FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 16:28 • Saturday, 3-04-2010
Whadaya mean was today? Is today! ~Jewriken.GIF 16:29, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
It's 6:3smthng at night over here. So it was today. They told us so at school. Lousy lousy teachers..
Apparently it's your birthday. I got you some cake. Then I ate it. I'd feel guilty about that, but I'm too full of cake to care. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:12, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
It's the thought that matters. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:16, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
It better be. Otherwise you'd be horribly disappointed. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:35, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

What do you think of this?

THE, Hindleyite and the great Chronarion Himself have seen it in the past and don't seem phased, but it looks like cyberbullying to me - several of the names entered into Google return FaceBook pages. I'm inclined to just delete it, but due to those users having no problem wonder if that'd be the right thing to do. Or should I add it to VFD and let the proles decide? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:02, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

I think you can skip the VFD and remove it for being Cyberbullying. I don't think we'll suffer immensely due to "anal bleeding" being removed O_O ~Jewriken.GIF 13:05, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
'Tis done - I also thought it delete-worthy due to being unfunny crap. So, hungover at all this afternoon? :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:09, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
Not much, more like food-over :). Went to a French restaurant last night and had a 3 hour long dinner ~Jewriken.GIF 13:11, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
Too much food instead of too much alcohol? Sure sign that you've had too many birthdays. I know that feeling. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:16, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
Agh, Mordillo, what did you DO?!?!!? That article was the only thing keeping us from utter implosion! You've doomed us all, Mordillo! Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 02:36, Apr 5 2010
By seen it, do you mean edited it? Perhaps they weren't paying close attention when they edited it, I half-blindly edit pages all the time. How do you think I have a high edit count? Buy on a serious note, many mind-numbingly awful articles have minor/formatting edits by admins and experienced users. Editing by an admin should not be taken to mean that said admin necessarily "approves" of an article --Mn-z 02:49, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
In this case, you'd have a job to not get the gist of the article even if you made a very minor edit - it was short and to the point. Also, having only been an admin for a few days, I preferred to get a second opinion. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:58, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
You underestimate the ability of some people, like myself, to be totally oblivious to the articles they are editing. --Mn-z 04:51, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

What do you think of this?

Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:44, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

That depends on your opinion on this. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:01, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
So "meh" then? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:11, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
Meh it is. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:19, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
Well, that's the last time I answer the door. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:47, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
Even if it's free pizza? ~Jewriken.GIF 20:05, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
I thought it was the flash that made it free? That's how I get my Girl Scout cookies and bags of Jehovah's Witness literature for free (including the bags). Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:01, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
I understand the Girl Scout cookies, but... JW literature? Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 22:37, Apr 5 2010
I don't want them. They inevitably drop the bags in their haste to get away. You think they'd clue in at the start, when I say "'Watchtower'? I've got a watchtower for you..." Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
You want to be careful with that - I still have the scars from the last exorcism.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Tuesday, 00:00, Apr 6 2010 UTC

So here, then

This should be useful to a newbie looking for stuff to write about. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 08:40, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Multi. I'm still not sure how this is different from UN:REQ? ~Jewriken.GIF 08:59, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
My idea gives tools for constructing the (serials of) articles rather than just saying: "this thingy has not been parodied on Uncyc". A pretty big difference. What else... hm. Maybe the fact there is now a way for writers to co-operate without collaborating on a single article. You might, for instance, want to write in a completely different tone than someone else (while the issue is such that you might be interested), and yet you could easily participate. Just write a counterspin article in any series, or write some "evidential" article you then cleverly link to one of the UnNewses dealing with the issue. It is way more likely your article will be widely read if it is a logical part of a series, rather than some random article. Also, writing with a specific goal in mind (the issue your "client" wants you to write about) often improves the article. For starters, look what I did with Fluffy Bunnies. I wouldn't have imagined writing about bunnies, but when I had the goal that I needed to make them look good for the sake of the series, I came up with all kinds of stuff. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 09:10, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
The table in the article had an error (Australia, 1859-2009 was the intention for the latter). Corrected now. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 09:32, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
I can see the difference, but it concerns me whether there is or not a quickfire explanation offered? --nldr 10:42, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
By "quickfire explanation" you mean something shorter? -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 10:48, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, so: Pees review articles, IC does rewrite collabs, AAN attempts to link new users with old, etc. Ways to get the message across easierlyier. --nldr 10:51, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
Try something like this: Summit of Spin is a parody of a real-world media office. Its purpose is to satirize real-world fact-spinning practices, meanwhile giving writers practical ideas for articles and construction of articles. The aim is to create serials of logically connected articles. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 10:54, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
If you want something real short: SoS collaborates on article serials. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 10:57, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
That satisfies me greatly, I had been more or less lost in the planning stage of your project, you see. :) Does it have a link on UnNews? --nldr 11:02, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
Nnno... my idea has, so far, been that it would be more or less a "covert" organisation like those media offices often are. Makes it more sexy as well. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 11:21, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
I'd have thought a portal on the UnNews page, impersonating IC's "Current colonisation: whateveritiswe'redoingatm" would speed up attention; something along the lines of "Current Spin story: Da Vinci intelligence controversy. Milk the story like you work for Fox now!" or some such. I suppose the project itself would have to show what it's capable of first though. --nldr 11:33, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
OK. I have a few people hooked, let's see if anything happens. Note, though, that you wouldn't work for Fox or some such, but rather for the media offices behind the scenes, the ones that spin things for big money. Example: the film Thank you for smoking. But OK, your shortcut "Fox" can do since it's more familiar to people. Hard to come up with anything closer to truth that would sound snappy. The explanation is on the project page anyway. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 11:38, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
Do as I say, not as I do rings horrifically in my ears... I'll promise to check out the project too. --nldr 11:49, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
Well - if you work for a newscaster or such, you will have to report what you get, right? The SoS spins what the newscasters get. If that was what you meant...? -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 12:06, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
No I meant I felt that all I was doing was saying this and that without contributing directly to the project; I left a comment re: Da Vinci subject on the respective talk page. --nldr 12:13, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

On the remotest off-chance that you care

I prepared to block an IP, I came up with a good block reason, then I hit the button - ban conflict! You got there first. But I wasn't about to waste my block reason, so I went ahead and used it. So there. Also: afternoon Mordillo! --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:29, Apr 6

Nominated for the Foolitzer Prize


One fine day ...

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 05:35, Apr 7
My pleasure FB! ~Jewriken.GIF 10:27, April 7, 2010 (UTC)


That famous last words section was funny and it wasn't copying off anyone and it wasn't just stupid, how come you removed it? This is a genuine question not just a rhetorical one aimed to insult? The preceding unsigned comment was added by Avinalaugh (talk • contribs)

Primarily because it was a short list that didn't have a lot of content or effort put into it. We're trying to get articles that just lists. Also, we already have one. Did you read the links left for you as part of your welcome message? ~Jewriken.GIF 10:26, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

A certain eager news boy

Hey dude, I'm back, sort of, in a way. Thanks for weighing in on UnNews talk:Style. I did mention to SPIKE that being perceived as "chesty" around here does not go over well, and that maybe you saw his manner as pushy. I'm sure he's not deliberately being like this; I like his way because he challenges me to rethink and reevaluate. Besides, he thinks I've got magic powers, and he's afraid of me. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:08, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Whatdayamean he thinks you've got magic?! You are the dirt under our rollers! (one of these days I'll have to understand what does it actually mean!). Anyway, first thing first - how are you doing? How is the missus doing? I hope you both are doing better?
With regards to the UnNews style, I don't have anything against Spike or the work that he does, I think the absolute majority is great. I do, however, don't like the approach to put everything under a strict rules and guidelines template and claim it is the absolute truth. We are not facts oriented wiki, we an artistic wiki, for the better and for the worst. And if an article does not fit within the rules and guidelines but still makes you laugh or force you to digest it for a few minutes to get the punch line - than this is what we need, job done - even if it's not properly quoted and intended and the sources don't point to the right place - non of these are essential. So the change I made, based on EMC's and KIP's remarks, both veteran UnNews writers - are to move the rules from absolute to recommendations. To be honest, I think exactly like them. Also, this goes along with the spirit of HTBFANJS - to suggest, not to enforce.
I hope that you didn't think I "pulled rank" or anything as silly as that, but the whole "wait for the chief" remark irked me quite a bit. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:40, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
First off, Zim is a wizard. Secondly, I agree that there should be no particular way an UnNews must be written except for funny. Thirdly, I intruded on this little tit-for-tat just to make it seem like people want my opinion. Fourthly, if you guys haven't seen The Room, I highly suggest to watch it. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 17:52, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
Who are you again? --~Jewriken.GIF 18:21, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
I'm Tim. Remember last week when me and your brother double-teamed your wife while you were watching? MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 18:32, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the welcome back, my friend. We are OK, all things considered. As for the awesome spike, my main interest was in keeping things friendly. I didn't think you were pulling rank, and I understand why you were irked. IMHO, everything is groovy and mellow.

I agree with you about guidelines; I think our style guide is awesome, and I think we all agree that it is a guide, not a rule book.

As for "the dirt under your rollers", it comes from a Frank Zappa song called Sofa on the One Size Fits All album. It's a reference to the creation myth, which as a Hebrew scholar, you should be familiar with. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 02:13, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Mordillo, you are a Jew-infested piece of dog crap.

I'm just agreeing with the one idiot. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 21:52, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Wasn't that a dog crap infested piece of Jew? It's all so confusing. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:55, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
Well, at least you can perform autofellatio. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 21:56, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
My favourite idea in this vein is, hands down: "I HOPE SOMEONE FINDS HIS ADDRESS AND COMES TO KILL YOU." This baffles me. Has this "somebody" forgotten and lost his own address? It seems that he will have to find the address to get a weapon he keeps at home, in order to kill you. Looks like an insurmountable problem to me. If "somebody" doesn't even know his own address right now - and if it must be "hoped" that he finds it - what is needed for him to find you anywhere in the world? A new set upstairs, perhaps. This "someone" must be similar to that zombie in the old Donald Duck comic. Been looking for his prey for over fifty years, if I'm not mistaken. As to the rest of that quote: we will all die at one time or another. No need to use up hope on that. Oh, and happy birthday, I noticed it was a few days ago. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 06:15, April 8, 2010 (UTC)


Old hag receptionist And what do you want?

You think that because you voted for Why?:Do I need to provide this? you'll get some kind of thank you from Necropaxx?

Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:39, Apr 7 2010

And thanks for protecting me. --Why do I need to provide this? 04:22, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Reaction from Prehistory96 to Mordillo

You huffed my page, User:Prehistory96/line. Revenge will take place. Unless you give your reasons for huffing the page I made, I will huff your pages. Beside the page was in MY NAME.

Reaction from Prehistory96 to Mordillo

You huffed my page, User:Prehistory96/line. Revenge will take place. Beside the page was in MY NAME.

Reaction from Prehistory96 to Mordillo

You huffed my page, User:Prehistory96/line. Revenge will take place. Beside the page was in MY NAME.

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