Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
If asking a question, find someone else's talk page and ask it there - asking on your own talk page is like asking yourself, and if no-one is passing, you may never get an answer.
Don#t create pages with your own name in, that's vanity, and they will be deleted, or moved. I'm gonna move those pages to your userspace, if you move 'em back to mainspace, make sure your name isn't in them.
Another tip: see that "history" tab at the top of the page? clicking on it allows you to view all previous versions of the page, by clicking on the date of each version. So even though you removed the links from this page, you can still see them in the old version of this page. All I've done is copy/paste them from the history to this new edit. --UU - natter11:02, Aug 18
Cool!Thanks I'm sorry. Thanks for not just deleting all of it like some adims probably do. --Killer 3.14 11:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
What? my name wasn't even in that??--Killer 3.14 23:36, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
The answer is "Write an article" or "Edit something in the mainspace". If you want this award in your space that's fine by me. It's not going in the Uncyclopedia area. Sorry. Write an article. That takes "effort" try it. MrNFork you! 23:45, Aug 18
Re your message, I do sleep sometimes, even if I seem like an android. And that last conversation we had was at 2:30am where I'm at. As for the game - there's several things you should consider fixing. First - it's completely random. You select yes, you die. You select no, you die. You die anyway and there's no point to it. Maybe try to find some background story? I realize it's supposed to be random, but this one is a bit too random. Other than that, you should try and use correct English (so, no plz and such). And last, I'd recommend that whenever you kill the player, you place a link back to the first page or to any page, just hitting the back button on the browser each and every time is a bit annoying. Hope that helps. ~ 10:49, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
This week, the hideously long UnSignpost subscription list was hacked down even further than The Woodburninator and others apparently hacked it down several months ago. This has resulted in a mass decline in the number of useless edits performed by paperbots and brave, bored souls who have nothing better to do than manually edit dozens of userpages on a weekly basis. The dregs that were cast off included those who have not registered an edit in six months, those who are permanently banned or close to it, and those with large, scary dogs that prevent paperbots from completing their routes unchewed.
The remaining faithful readers are asked to archive their talk pages if they are excessively long due to many hilarious editions of the UnSignpost, as paperbots are slowed down by the large load times of such pages, and paper-delivering users are likely to be distracted by uproarious back issues. Subscribers are also reminded that the monthly fee for talkpage delivery is seven Uncyclopedia credits. Extremely outdated Uncyclopedia currency, such as Yoinxx, will be subject to exceedingly unfair conversion rates. On a final note, readers are implored to avoid tipping paperbots, as it seems any sort of regular income tends to give robots inklings of sentience, and the last thing we need is Fnoodle organizing the paperbots into a rudimentary union again.
16:19, September 20, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (Stop being a pain in my tender place)
18:52, September 21, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Arse bandit (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months (Your ban time is six months. I'll give you 10 dollars if you can hold your breath the entire time.)
14:53, September 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.127.116.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (oi, no blanking, no stupid redirecting, no crappy pages about people we don't care about, and no ugly nerds. you fail on all counts.)
11:57, September 24, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Abdul321 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (Lebanon is a little Kiosk between Israel and Syria. Get over it.)
Henchmen are an essential part of any mastermind super-villian's overall business portfolio. Generally, success in plans of world domination, protagonist death, and damsel distress have success ratios directly correlated to the number, competence, and, to a lesser extent, wardrobe snappiness of a bad guy's henchmen.
Pointless Nostalgia of the Week
We miss when Cajek and Skull would write for the UnSignpost. Those 4+ issues they churned out were golden. You'd be reading and then - all of a sudden - WHAM, a joke would hit you, and Cajek would be all like, "oh my god, it was so dark, and i didn't see him, and he just jumped out in front of me!"
Really Small Box That Takes Up Just Enough Space To Even Out Both Sides of This Issue of the UnSignpost of the Week, Because Symmetry Looks Nice
The Eighth Semi-Annual Poo Lit Surprise Writing Competition & Brownie Bake-Off begins this Monday, October 5th when Olipro emerges from his house. If he is frightened by his shadow, writers are required to send him love letters; otherwise, writers have two weeks to squeeze all of the humor they can out of their mostly insignificant humor glands. This year's categories include Best Article, Best Illustrated Article, Best Kanye Joke, and Best Rewrite. The list of judges includes both esteemed Uncyclopedia veterans and former PLS winners; they will be sequestered in a two-star hotel for the duration of the competition in order to ensure the most convenient environment for receiving bribes.
This year's PLS Master of Ceremonies and Executive in Charge of Parking, Modusoperandi, humbly expressed optimism when asked about the quality of this installment: "This Poo Lit will be the Greatest PLS ever," said Mr. Operandi exclusively. "Anyone who says otherwise is as much of a liar as they are dumb, and they are plenty dumb. Ergo, they are also plenty liar. That made more sense in my head." Other users, who wished to remain anonymous since they regularly read the unflattering commentary often associated with being quoted in the UnSignpost, expressed hope that the PLS would revive the life-support-laden VFH and also stimulate the lagging Uncyclopedia economy.
This week, Uncyclopedia users denounced the recent lack of activity on the wiki. Necropaxx initiated the conversation, noting that activity on VFH, similar to the pants of the 'hip' crowd, has dropped to unacceptably low levels. Other users have responded, and the general consensus does indeed seem to be that overall, the site's quality has dropped below acceptable levels. Not since June '07, November '07, February '08, August '08, December '08, March '09, and May '09 has Uncyclopedia seen such a blatant claim that the entire website will imminently burst into a ball of some sort, with 'flame' being the most likely sort of ball.
Trusted UnSignpost undercover investigative reporter, DogNewspaper(pictured), infiltrated one such group of doom-saying users in order to obtain some first-hand declarations of the impending death throes of the wiki. "Yeah, with the number of quality articles readily available, I'd give Uncyclopedia two months at the most until it is absorbed into another humor website," said one user. Further commentary from this group of users was unavailable, as undercover investigative reporter DogNewspaper's cover was at this point compromised, as his unwavering loyalty to Uncyclopedia caused him to seize the infidel user's lower leg in his mouth and shake his head viciously. Please stay with the UnSignpost for up-to-the-week coverage of the impending(?) death of Uncyclopedia.
17:54, September 27, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 18.104.22.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (Under Uncyclopedia emergency act (1976) I hereby revoke your editing priveleges)
20:55, September 27, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (only two kinds blank Texas: steers and queers. and steers find it hard to use the internet so I guess that narrows things down a little, doesn't it?)
21:42, September 29, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Hates me for some reason. Even though I happen to be the nicest man who ever lived. It's true, ask Richard Nixon.)
Biopic of the Week
Since exploding onto the Uncyclopedia scene in 2007, MacMania has developed into a fine-tuned humor machine. His recentwritingendeavors have earned him a Writer of the Month nod, and as such, he is certainly a user worthy of biopication. His current sabbatical makes UnSignpost editors sad, but perhaps a constant spamming of his userpage with pleas to return will accelerate his comeback. UnSignpost readers, away!
Old School Featured Article
I Can't Believe it's Not Murder is the preferred alternative of first degree murder that celebrities, famous sports stars, politicians, and otherwise prominent individuals take advantage of in courts of law. It is similar to being found guilty of first degree murder, though this version avoids the undesirable consequences such as jail time, fines, probation, and the unsightly community service.
Random Thought of the Week
Dippin' Dots have been the ice cream of the future for like ten years. Shouldn't they be the ice cream of the present by now?
Hey man, thanks for reading my UnNews article. You wouldn't mind giving me a full review would you? I think that way I might be able to focus on some particular possibilities for improvement. Love your records.