User:Why do I need to provide this?

Buccaneer Admiral of Imperial Colonization This loyal subject colonizes savage lands for the Glory of the Empire and is recognized as Buccaneer Admiral of Her Majesty's Imperial Navy.

Priest of the Temple of Uncyclopedia This person has dedicated his or her life to Gotenyu and is recognized as a Priest in the Unglican Temple.

Knight Commander of the Order

Useless Gobshite of the Month December 2009

Reviewer of the Month November 2009

Noob of the Moment September 2009

Featured Article: Sun Bee This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Archery This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. (Archery written with Syndrome) Featured Article: HowTo:Be Homeless in America This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Colonization: Transformers This entity contributed to a Colonization, successfully eliminating the natives and furthering the goal of the empire. Under user has bought you a beer! Remember though, you're getting the next round. Golden Urinal You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work. Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing - there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit! Rejoice, Why do I need to provide this?! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. Mommy has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. Family Ninjastar Awarded for mentorship of a user who became a CUN or higher. –Miley Spears

IC This user is a member of Imperial Colonization. UN:LEGAL Legal Department Serjeant-at-Law "Crede Quia Absurdum Est " This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 3 years, 8 months and 16 days. 4000+ This user has over 4000 edits. This user is constantly PEEING. S/He apologizes for the mess. This user is a member of the Welcoming Committee, because no other Committee would take them. This user is part of The Proofreading Service. This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from Miley Spears. This user is proud to have been the Adopter of Puffskein. This user has adopted Little Mermaid. This user has adopted HELPME.

Articles I done created

(Listed in order of creation)

• Sun Bee (It was Pee Reviewed and I believe improved as a result) Featured 21 Oct. 2009
• Archery (My bowstring broke so Syndrome took this over) Featured 22 Oct. 2009
• HowTo:Be Homeless in America (I edited it as per a helpful Pee Review). Featured 1 Dec. 2009

Imperial Colonization Articles I done helped write

• Transformers

Articles I done plan to rewrite while no one's looking

• User:Why do I need to provide this?/Orc

Pee Reviews I done did

My Pee Reviews‎

Also see My Pee Review Table (which you're welcome to rip off, especial as it's a rip off of the original)

Proofreading I done did

See My Proofreads (like you'd really care).

Images I done created

My Images

Current signature (minus date stamp)

WHY???^{PuppyOnTheRadio}

Also see My signature collection

Not my current signature but I think it's cool

Something I ripped off from some wanker

Miscellaneous numbers

• 7,611 = Number of edits I've done here since I started Elul 13, 5769
• 7,611 = Number of times I've wasted time here since I started Elul 13, 5769
• 267 = Number of new users I've welcomed here since 7 Oct. 2009 (255 in 2009) (Please help)
• 43 = Number of official Pee Reviews I done did
• 7 = Number of articles that followed all or almost all of my official Pee Review suggestions and got featured
• 2 = Number of articles that followed all or almost all of my unofficial Pee Review suggestions and got featured
• 1 = Number of articles that followed some but less than almost all of my official Pee Review suggestions and got featured
• 3 = Number of articles that ignored all or almost all of my Pee Review suggestions and tried but failed to get featured
• 6 = Number of wikis I've edited
• 10 = Number of years ago I started editing Wikis (anyone remember when Douglas Adams was in charge of H2G2?)
• 5 = Number of accredited colleges and universities I've attended for at least one class session
• 37 = Number of degrees I have (Celsius)
• 98.6 = Number of degrees I have (Farenheit)
• 15 = Number of people who have vandalised my user page (please update this number when you vandalise)
• 44 = Number of times my user page has been vandalised (please update this number when you vandalise)
• 1 = Number of vanity pages other people have made for me
• 3 = Number of racist/ethnic/disability jokes I find amusing
• 3 = Number of times I lied about my age on Uncyclopedia
• 1 = Number of people here who've accused me of being a bee lover (someone noticed every one of my articles mentions bees)
• 4 = Number of Noobs I'm currently keeping an eye on
• 1.2 = Number of the version of Netscape Navigator I use to surf the Internets
• 1 = Number of times I've yelled at someone in the past 8 years
• 4 = Number of Uncyclopedians who have given me cyberhugs (Luvvy, Miley Spears, Little Mermaid, Black flamingo11)
• 86.854.32.179 = Number of my super secret agent ID
• 1 = Number of redirecting sockpuppets I had on Uncyclopedia that were huffed (Goodbye User:Why?)
• 1 = Number of redirecting sockpuppets I had on Uncyclopedia that were unhuffed (Hello User:Why?)
• 3 = Number of people I expect to read all this (Mommy, Me and my weird uncle who likes to watch).