Babel:Vogon

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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

30,724 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

Beginner's Guide to the Galaxy · Contents · Towel Styles · ??? · Poetry Help · Help Save Earth

Vogon Categories · Featured Poems · A–Z index

Featured Vogon Poem

100AcreSuspects

You sit down with your popcorn and the dvd clicker in hand. Maybe you've seen this film before, maybe you haven't; maybe you're drunk, I don't care. You were a bit unsteady at my video store. This film's more twisty than a boa constrictor and as good at grabbing your attention as a gorilla in a jockstrap. So I recommended it. Just right for wobbly customers like you. Have you seen it before? You can't remember.

You press Play and suddenly a Piglet was talking:

It didn’t make sense that I be there. Normally this kind of talking is done by Movie Trailer Announcer Guy. I looked around the big holding cell and saw a heavily overweight bear, an owl and a rabbit. The owl and the rabbit were kind of cozy, but the bear was trying to stay to himself. Everybody knew him, though—or of him. (more...)

Recently featured: Escher - UnBooks:The Anarchist Cookbook - UnNews:New Borg drone complains about management - UnNews:Noob Gets PWNED - Idea

Yesterday's featured article

Relativity

My dear Edgar,

Knowing, as I do, your acquaintance with the night; and, finding myself gripped with the terrible need to distribute these recent events to one who may find some translation of their bizarreness and not overly suffer thereby, my sole thought upon escape was to immediately inscribe them for you. (more...)


Vogon Trivia

*...that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

Orbital00.jpg



On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

10logday

October 31: International Dress Like an Idiot Day, International Emo Day, International Annoy Strangers into Giving Away Candy Day

  • 30 - Jesus performs another miracle, turning celery sticks into chocolate and regular corn into candy corn.
  • 475 - Romulus Augustulus is proclaimed Roman Emperor, while wearing a white toga over his head, with eye holes cut in it.
  • 1219 - The governor of Samarkand mistakes the army of Genghis Khan for a group of buddhist monks dressed up like the Khan's army, and opens the gates for them. Samarkand is sacked, looted, and burned, and the Khan is pissed off when the army returns home and has already eaten all the candy.
  • 1517 - The Protestant Reformation begins. After spending all week on his robot costume, Martin Luther dresses up and goes to the local church but they won't give him candy. He plays a trick on them spreading his theses all over the church door.
  • 1897 - The City of London's Best Halloween Costume prize is awarded to Oscar Wilde (for his clever Oscar Wilde costume)
  • 1927 - The October Uprising was rushed through on this day to save them changing all the letterheads.
  • 1956 - Suez Crisis: To force Egypt to reopen the Suez Canal, the United Kingdom and France begin a massive bombardment of Egypt using water balloons and raw eggs.
  • 1961 - In the Soviet Union, Joseph Stalin's frozen body is removed from Lenin's Tomb. Stalin's body is then dressed up as Frankenstein and then set outside Kruschev's house as part of a scary Halloween diorama. Communist Party members are initially outraged, but come around when Kruschev's house wins the USSR's Halloween house decoration contest.
  • 1969 - Women discover that instead of putting time into making an awesome constume they can just take a normal job uniform and slut it up a bit.
  • 1970 - Men ok with above.
  • 1980 - First Glam Rock conclave standarizes dressing like an idiot in the 80s.
  • 2002 - Evangelical Christians inaugurate Complain About Something Unimportant Again Day
  • 2005 - Dressing like an idiot now at a record high.
  • 2005 - Severe storm strikes Glace Bay, Nova Scotia producing eggs, fireworks, pumpkins, crab-apples, and rocks. Homes and cars are damaged and several police cruisers are damaged by intense rock showers.
  • 2006 - Washington D.C.'s "Scariest Halloween Costume" prize is awarded to Dick Cheney. Says Cheney, "But I didn't even dress up!"
  • 2007 - Millions revolt after International Dress Like an Idiot Day is renamed 'Hallowedwoon.' 1337 killed, 492 injured. 82 arrests have been made.
  • 2010 - The end is marked by children coming to your door and asking for candy.

See Also

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Zombieche

Note to all world leaders: When the zombies show up, the Marxists are never far behind.

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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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