Featured Vogon Poem
You sit down with your popcorn and the dvd clicker in hand. Maybe you've seen this film before, maybe you haven't; maybe you're drunk, I don't care. You were a bit unsteady at my video store. This film's more twisty than a boa constrictor and as good at grabbing your attention as a gorilla in a jockstrap. So I recommended it. Just right for wobbly customers like you. Have you seen it before? You can't remember.
You press Play and suddenly a Piglet was talking:
It didn’t make sense that I be there. Normally this kind of talking is done by Movie Trailer Announcer Guy. I looked around the big holding cell and saw a heavily overweight bear, an owl and a rabbit. The owl and the rabbit were kind of cozy, but the bear was trying to stay to himself. Everybody knew him, though—or of him. (more...)
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Yesterday's featured article
My dear Edgar,
Knowing, as I do, your acquaintance with the night; and, finding myself gripped with the terrible need to distribute these recent events to one who may find some translation of their bizarreness and not overly suffer thereby, my sole thought upon escape was to immediately inscribe them for you. (more...)
|*...that at any second, of any minute, of any hour, of any day, a massive nuclear bomb could land on your house?
- ...that at any second, of any minute, of any hour, of any day, a massive nuclear bomb could land on your house?
Constructor Fleet Headlines
On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...
August 3: Vague Day:
- Way too long ago - Some large lizards were forgotten off the face of the earth... or something...
- A long time ago - Some guy was born.
- A little more recent - Some guy did something important. The guy with the hair.
- hmmm - Uh... dang... <pffft>
- Way back when - The guy who wears clothes invented that thing that people use.
- A while ago - Two countries started a war. You know, that famous one with that big battle where a bunch of people died.
- I can't quite recall - I think there was a battle.
- Back before I was born - Some guy became the leader of some country.
- In the good old days - France was invaded by a certain foreign power.
- Sometime - Some lady called and left a message.
- That one time, at band camp - Some rich dude went and did something or other to this one website
- Then - Some famous guy or Some famous lady did something funny.
- The other day - Someone did something.
- The Other Other Day - this guy did something amazing
- A little later - This other guy went somewhere
- At some point - This one guy may or may not have done something that might be considered noteworthy in some circles.
- Like, whenEVER - 'kay, like you remember that guy from the commercial with the, um, thing on his head? No, the OTHER one. Well, he gets shot I think, no, actually I meant assaulted in some way, by some other guy, or girl, and it's was sooooo all over the TV, or radio? I guess it took place somewhere.
- Not too long ago - Poor people demolish a wall to create a bit more living space somewhere.
- Around 1995 - That TV show is cancelled. You know, the one with that guy, always wore a shirt... c'mon, help me out here.
- Y'know, that day - That guy, with the hat, and that other guy, they do those things they do, y'know, with the monkey, and the bar, and that hat they always used in the ... the uh, commercials.
- Two days before the Day after Tommorrow Your Mom did something that she usually only does on Saturday nights up at Nob Hill.
- When was it again? - People could vaguely remember when is Vague Day
- Around that one time - You vaguely remember what happened that one night.
- A long time from now in a galaxy far, far away - Some dude invents some thing that does something that for some reason makes him meet some alien race somewhere.
- Sometime between the beginning and end of time- someone avoids direct answer
- Just recently - This joke about being vague got really old.
- around nowish - Something about something vague was vaguely reborn like that one guy long ago.
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