Featured Vogon Poem
You sit down with your popcorn and the dvd clicker in hand. Maybe you've seen this film before, maybe you haven't; maybe you're drunk, I don't care. You were a bit unsteady at my video store. This film's more twisty than a boa constrictor and as good at grabbing your attention as a gorilla in a jockstrap. So I recommended it. Just right for wobbly customers like you. Have you seen it before? You can't remember.
You press Play and suddenly a Piglet was talking:
It didn’t make sense that I be there. Normally this kind of talking is done by Movie Trailer Announcer Guy. I looked around the big holding cell and saw a heavily overweight bear, an owl and a rabbit. The owl and the rabbit were kind of cozy, but the bear was trying to stay to himself. Everybody knew him, though—or of him. (more...)
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My dear Edgar,
Knowing, as I do, your acquaintance with the night; and, finding myself gripped with the terrible need to distribute these recent events to one who may find some translation of their bizarreness and not overly suffer thereby, my sole thought upon escape was to immediately inscribe them for you. (more...)
|*...that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
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On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...
October 31: International Dress Like an Idiot Day, International Emo Day, International Annoy Strangers into Giving Away Candy Day
- 30 - Jesus performs another miracle, turning celery sticks into chocolate and regular corn into candy corn.
- 475 - Romulus Augustulus is proclaimed Roman Emperor, while wearing a white toga over his head, with eye holes cut in it.
- 1219 - The governor of Samarkand mistakes the army of Genghis Khan for a group of buddhist monks dressed up like the Khan's army, and opens the gates for them. Samarkand is sacked, looted, and burned, and the Khan is pissed off when the army returns home and has already eaten all the candy.
- 1517 - The Protestant Reformation begins. After spending all week on his robot costume, Martin Luther dresses up and goes to the local church but they won't give him candy. He plays a trick on them spreading his theses all over the church door.
- 1897 - The City of London's Best Halloween Costume prize is awarded to Oscar Wilde (for his clever Oscar Wilde costume)
- 1927 - The October Uprising was rushed through on this day to save them changing all the letterheads.
- 1956 - Suez Crisis: To force Egypt to reopen the Suez Canal, the United Kingdom and France begin a massive bombardment of Egypt using water balloons and raw eggs.
- 1961 - In the Soviet Union, Joseph Stalin's frozen body is removed from Lenin's Tomb. Stalin's body is then dressed up as Frankenstein and then set outside Kruschev's house as part of a scary Halloween diorama. Communist Party members are initially outraged, but come around when Kruschev's house wins the USSR's Halloween house decoration contest.
- 1969 - Women discover that instead of putting time into making an awesome constume they can just take a normal job uniform and slut it up a bit.
- 1970 - Men ok with above.
- 1980 - First Glam Rock conclave standarizes dressing like an idiot in the 80s.
- 2002 - Evangelical Christians inaugurate Complain About Something Unimportant Again Day
- 2005 - Dressing like an idiot now at a record high.
- 2005 - Severe storm strikes Glace Bay, Nova Scotia producing eggs, fireworks, pumpkins, crab-apples, and rocks. Homes and cars are damaged and several police cruisers are damaged by intense rock showers.
- 2006 - Washington D.C.'s "Scariest Halloween Costume" prize is awarded to Dick Cheney. Says Cheney, "But I didn't even dress up!"
- 2007 - Millions revolt after International Dress Like an Idiot Day is renamed 'Hallowedwoon.' 1337 killed, 492 injured. 82 arrests have been made.
- 2010 - The end is marked by children coming to your door and asking for candy.
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