Babel:Vogon

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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

31,309 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

Beginner's Guide to the Galaxy · Contents · Towel Styles · ??? · Poetry Help · Help Save Earth

Vogon Categories · Featured Poems · A–Z index

Featured Vogon Poem

100AcreSuspects

You sit down with your popcorn and the dvd clicker in hand. Maybe you've seen this film before, maybe you haven't; maybe you're drunk, I don't care. You were a bit unsteady at my video store. This film's more twisty than a boa constrictor and as good at grabbing your attention as a gorilla in a jockstrap. So I recommended it. Just right for wobbly customers like you. Have you seen it before? You can't remember.

You press Play and suddenly a Piglet was talking:

It didn’t make sense that I be there. Normally this kind of talking is done by Movie Trailer Announcer Guy. I looked around the big holding cell and saw a heavily overweight bear, an owl and a rabbit. The owl and the rabbit were kind of cozy, but the bear was trying to stay to himself. Everybody knew him, though—or of him. (more...)

Recently featured: Escher - UnBooks:The Anarchist Cookbook - UnNews:New Borg drone complains about management - UnNews:Noob Gets PWNED - Idea

Yesterday's featured article

Relativity

My dear Edgar,

Knowing, as I do, your acquaintance with the night; and, finding myself gripped with the terrible need to distribute these recent events to one who may find some translation of their bizarreness and not overly suffer thereby, my sole thought upon escape was to immediately inscribe them for you. (more...)


Vogon Trivia

*...that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
  • ...that the average human male between the ages of 13 and 18 is has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
    • ...and if you haven't before you just did after reading the above statement.


  • ...that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
  • ...that the average human male between the ages of 13 and 18 is has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
    • ...and if you haven't before you just did after reading the above statement.


  • ...that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

Cambridge Uni 03.02.16.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

February 11: Latin day
  • 477 - Lorem Ipsum, dolor sit amet,
  • 530 - Consectetuer adipiscing elit.
  • 844 - Suspendisse commodo magna.
  • 917 - Fusce fermentum odio sed libero.
  • 1120 - Suspendisse auctor ornare libero.
  • 1285 - Phasellus non mauris nec nibh cursus vulputate.
  • 1346 - Curabitur fringilla metus sit amet eros.
  • 1417 - Aenean pretium,
  • 1508 - Mi vel pretium ultrices,
  • 1609 - Urna justo cursus nunc,
  • 1663 - Sed fringilla ligula sapien vel nulla.
  • 1776 - Rome is invaded by Barbarians, meaning you don't have to learn what this means.
  • 1873 - Some idiot decides that you should learn it anyway, and Latin classes are created.
  • 1917 - In Russia Sovietica te Latina discet.
  • 1920 - "Forma papillarum quam fuit apta premit" is translated for the first time by a 13 year old. Sniggering is invented.
  • 1944 - Omesay idiotay illskay ethay astlay idiotay anday ecidesday atthat ouyay ouldshay earnlay Igpay Atlinlay insteaday.
  • 1975 - Vae victus!
  • 1989 - Carpe abdominum, caveat nauseum, jetsam creamius cornium. Ecch.
  • 2006 - Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est, urbs habet octo colles.
  • 2007 - The Latin-Canadian war ends.Canada is the victor.
  • 2008 - Futue te ipsum et caballerum tuum
  • 2009 - E Pluribus Unum

Today's featured picture

Ipodchristcrx

Just his luck that it got stuck on Jesus Christ Superstar that fateful afternoon...

Image Credit: Prettiestpretty
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Recent Poems

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Marco Rubio (pictured) | Slovakia | Nudibranch | Hera | George Mason U. | HowTo:Survive a terrorist attack | Pornography (rw) | Mesopotamia (rw) | Kilogram | Missing socks | The Communist Manifesto | Community | Teen Titans Go! | State of the Union address (rw) | Catching Fire | National Fascist Party (from Inciclopedia) | Chris Christie | HowTo:Dine at a fancy restaurant | Eragon | Swearing (rw) | Miranda warning | Sam Harris | Northumberland | Edmund Hillary | Theater pest | Mad Max: Fury Road | Carly Fiorina | Normal distribution | Slavs | Tax (rw)



More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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