Grand Cross of the Order

“A witty saying proves nothing.”

~ Voltaire on Oscar Wilde

August 2006: WIRED magazine finally runs out of geeks to put on the cover

Ego, Vanity and Whatnot

Occasionally I get up off my ass (or more correctly, sit down on it) and make a page of my own, to which no one ever goes.

I also make pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, sometimes write fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that I normally make).

My future plans include the making up, followed by the playing, of bagpipe music.

This user is a Master in the Potatochoppers' Guild, and has earned the respect and admiration of all for outstanding work. Ask this user about joining!

This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled for all honors and persecutions as such.

Things that are currently in places

Pages and pages of pages

My very own pages

(A) indicates that I did the audio too. I'm sorry.

(S) indicates satire. While there are some funny satirical pages listed here without this warning, this symbol is for the ones that aren't funny. I'm not sorry.

(FA) and (QFA) are featured and quasi-featured articles, respectively.

Bold pages are personal favourites, for reasons that escape me at the moment.

L'enfant Terrible Period

As some of my earliest original pages these range from good but dry to, well, blah.

• Canada/History
• Sack Religion Warning: Some text written in "biblicaleze". Also it's really long and kind of weird. You have been warned.
• Pointless Rants:
  • Pointless Inventions
  • Pointless Hollywood

Pages that I didn't start, but have improved (hopefully)

• Conservapedia
• Nitrous
• Yakov Smirnoff
• Canada

Just the Audio

• Forum:Uncyclopedia Store: A referendum
• UnNews:Gandhi posthumously accused of mass genocide
• UnBooks:Dane Cook: An Unauthorized Autobiography, 2nd Edition (New Pictures)
• UnTunes:Be Gay
• UnNews:Dodgeball tragedy: 16 people 'out'

My Very Own Pointless...

• Gallery
• Pointless, Just Pointless Musings

Featured Pages Featured Article: Suburban homeboy This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: American Fundie Magazine This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: The Bureaucracy Channel This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnBooks:Pulp Novel, the case of the dashing dame This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Little Orphan Annie This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnNews:Al-Qaeda operative spills the beans This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: HowTo:Deliver a Baby, A Concise and Easy-to-follow Guide Developed, Tested, and Approved by the AMA (No, Not that AMA. The Other One) and Reprinted with the Permission of the JAMA (Also a Different One) This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Future ☭f tomorrow, today! This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: HowTo:Be at one with the universe This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Stephen Hawking ran over my cat This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnBooks:Diary of a Caveman This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Illegal aliens from outer space! This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnNews:New thing called wheel make move mud less hard This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnNews:Chancellor committed to preemptive war This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnNews:Kids still fucking This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnCon This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Why?:Get a tattoo of a tarantula on your face This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Jerry Falwell This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnScripts: Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: UnTunes:White trash girl This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnNews:"WWJD?" leads to unfortunate end for local layabout This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Canadians: A Retrospective This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: The defense rests, your honor This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Dune This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: UnNews:Chuck Norris on secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Rush Limbaugh (CPAC speech) This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Pictures Featured Image: Helloapocalypse.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Vaderguild.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Davidsketch.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Backofhead.png This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Osamabingrinchen1.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Pigletmugshot.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Kafkametamorphosis.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Benjaminfranklinoldschool.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Honestfortune-cookie.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Truthfulvendingmachine2.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. Featured Image: Boobies.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. PLS/Aristocrat's Ball Poet Lowrate This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: Segue: a monologue Poet Lowrate This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: Why?:Get a tattoo of a tarantula on your face Aristocrat en Regalia This person is the winner of the Aristocrat's Ball, which they won for their article: Image:Allahuakbear.jpg Poet Lowrate This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: UnTunes:White trash girl

Awards..

Potatochopper of the Month October 2006 UnBooks Author of the Month December 2006 Writer of the Month January 2007 Uncyclopedian of the Month April 2007 Foolitzer Prize Winner May 2007

Article Narrator of the Month July 2007 Potatochopper of the Year 2007 E G A E D M The Emmanuel Goldstein Award June 2008  Writer of the Year 2008     Even More Awards and Honours