User:Gwax

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===What does Gwax hate?===
 
===What does Gwax hate?===
 
Tangled phone cords.
 
Tangled phone cords.
  +
  +
===What is Gwax's sexual orientation?===
  +
He is gay.
  +
  +
===What line would Gwax like to see added to all articles?===
  +
"Let's lynch black people."
   
 
===What does Gwax do in his free time?===
 
===What does Gwax do in his free time?===

Revision as of 11:55, December 24, 2005

Gwax
MUN
Member of the Order
ManitobaIT seal
MIT Alumnus
US flag This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Protein This user joined the Folding@home Team, because he/she has nothing better to do with his/her computer.

ow-1 This user understands some of the quotes by Oscar Wilde.
Uncyclopedia:Babel
gb-N This user is a native speaker of Gibberish.
ht-N This user is a native speaker of HTML.
rh-N This user is a native speaker of Random Humour.
us-N This user is a native speaker of American English.
en-E This user only speaks English because it was a required course in school.
fr-E This user only speaks Français because it was a required course in school.
17-X This user only speaks 1337 enough to seduce native 1337 speakers.
lz-X This user only speaks Lesbian enough to seduce native Lesbian speakers.
vl-X This user only speaks Valley girl enough to seduce native Valley girl speakers.
ca-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Canajan, eh? whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
uk-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Correct English whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
cpp-4 This user speaks C++ at a near-native level.
il-4 This user speaks Igpay Atinlay at a near-native level.
MW-4 This user speaks MediaWiki at a near-native level.
pe-4 This user speaks Plain English at a near-native level.
sc-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Scrabble.
perl-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Perl.
se-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Simple English.
ju-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Joual canadien.
ru-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Русский.
vg-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Vogon.
ac-0 This user does not understand those African clicky noises and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
de-0 This user does not understand Deutsch and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
es-0 This user does not understand Español and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
et-0 This user does not understand Estonian and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
grc-0 This user does not understand classical Greek and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
it-0 This user does not understand Italian and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
ko-0 This user does not understand Korean and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
la-0 This user does not understand Latin and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
og-0 This user does not understand Ogopogan and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
nl-0 This user does not understand Dutch and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
nq-0 This user does not understand Nelly queen and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
pt-0 This user does not understand Português and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
zh-0 This user does not understand Chinese and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
[[Asshat ah-G]] This user does not speak Asshat and furthermore believes Asshat
to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Asshat
. 
du-G This user does not speak Dumbass and furthermore believes Dumbass to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Dumbass.
eo-G This user does not speak Esperanto and furthermore believes Esperanto to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Esperanto.
fh-G This user does not speak Fuckhead and furthermore believes Fuckhead to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Fuckhead.
pika-G This user does not speak Pikachu and furthermore believes Pikachu to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Pikachu.
tx-G This user does not speak Texan and furthermore believes Texan to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Texan.
Gwax wikiwax
“4 out of 5 grues prefer Gwax over other adventurers.”
~ A Grue on Gwax
“4 out of 5 trucks prefer Gwax over turtle wax.”
~ Optimus Prime on Gwax
“Beep, beep, beep, beep.”
~ Sputnik I on Gwax

User:Gwax/sig2 is a man, or maybe a dragon, or perhaps a robot. He might actually just be a figment of his own twisted imagination but we don't really want to bother arguing with him because he tends to be kind of loud.

The Rules

Gwax lives by a very strict set of rules:

1. When you're chucking a danish, everything is a cop car.
2. When in doubt, go left.
3. When in doubt, buy double.
4. Even floors do not exist.
5. Apathy is the lazy man's whatever.

FAQ

Here are some answers to some questions that no one actually asks:

Is Gwax a robot?

Yes.

Can he transform?

Yes.

Has Gwax ever been eaten by a Grue?

23 times and counting.

Is Gwax religious?

No, he is a Zen Discordian.

Is Gwax a samurai?

No, but he wishes he were.

Is Gwax a vigilante?

Yes, but only in the context of editing Uncyclopedia.

Is Gwax insane?

Maybe.

What does Gwax like?

3

What does Gwax hate?

Tangled phone cords.

What is Gwax's sexual orientation?

He is gay.

What line would Gwax like to see added to all articles?

"Let's lynch black people."

What does Gwax do in his free time?

Play Zork, play Go, play craps and build Pigs from kits.

Is Gwax the Messiah?

No, Todd and gwax lost the last election.

Has Gwax ever been to war?

Yes, he was a hero of the cow war of 1927a-1927i.

Did Gwax really help invent turpentine?

Yes, it is largely his fault..

Who are Gwax's heroes?

The Tick, Emperor Norton I and Optimus Prime.

Where does Gwax hail from?

Parts unknown, or maybe Eastern Massachusetts.

Would Gwax like a sandwich?

Yes, please.

Can I poison the sandwich?

If by "poison" you mean, "add bacon to", then sure.

Has Gwax ever killed a man just to watch him die?

No, the jerk had it coming to him.

Has Gwax ever died?

Yes.

Does Gwax know what the afterlife is like?

No, he was lying about having died.

Does Gwax lie often?

No.

Was that a lie?

No.

How about that, was that a lie?

Shut up!

Contact Information

User talk:Gwax : it's just that simple.

Technical Achievements

You may investigate all of the contributions that Gwax has made since registering.

Awards



Newcookie Todd Lyons has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Awarded 12/16/05 ~ For your pioneer contributions to Uncyclopedia:Folding@home.


Notes

gwax is forgetful, so he maintains a bunch of notes to himself. Most notably, gwax maintains a to do list.

To Do List

Play

Figure Out

  • Where my mother fucking cheese go at?
  • Why Template:Q and possibly all <code> sections have a very slight grey background.

Investigate

Exuent

Personal tools
projects