Uncyclopedia:VFP

Hitlerbear reminds you to focus on quality.

• Nominate an image you find excellent. Use {{vfp|filename.ext|width in pixels|image name|caption|artist's username}}. Make sure you sign your votes with ~~~~ or the "your signature with timestamp" button on the edit screen.
  • You may nominate up to two of your own images per week. No more. You can nominate as many images by other people as you want.
  • Voting: use "For" or "Against" (or some clear iteration) in bold type to specify your vote. Comments are allowed, but excessive discussion/argument is not. Use the image's talk page for that.
  • Please submit only ORIGINAL IMAGES to VFP. Images from elsewhere on the internet can be used on articles, but will not be featured.
  • When nominating an image, you may place {{VFP}} on the image page.
• Do not remove or archive nominations. Loser admins will see to that.
• You can see all previously featured images here, or on the archived voting pages: 1, 2, 3.
• To vote on previously featured images, use Uncyclopedia:PFP.

Current nominations

• New nominations on top, votes start with *, add --~~~~ after your vote, please.

Pontius Pilot

Featured picture candidate
The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear three days later, after descending to the Recycle Bin. Image credit: Savethemooses Archive - Discuss this image

Featured picture candidate
Pontius Pilot The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear three days later, after descending to the Recycle Bin. Image credit: Savethemooses Archive - Discuss this image

How about the bottom version? Is it better in terms of size issues? Personally I think the older version is smoother and works despite its size. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 02:12, 26 April 2006 (UTC)

• Do you have a PNG of this from the original PSD because it would definitely be clearer at a smaller size if it was a PNG -- LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here} 14:51, 26 April 2006 (UTC)

• Nomination and for This is the first image I've created that I feel is somewhat good. I like the "PP" emblem at the top the most. So... yeah. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 17:05, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Biblical humor. Gotta love it. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 17:06, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. The age old Biblical pun. Brilliant. Hindleyite Talk 17:11, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For - Excellent quality; outstanding humour. --Imrealized 17:16, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

*Against, unless you change the name of the Recycle Bin. ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 17:17, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Comment I actually kept Recycle Bin on purpose, because in the article it doth say: Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear three days later, after descending to the Recycle Bin. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 17:24, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

• For, then. ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 17:34, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• for. --Spin 17:32, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against. It's well done 'n all (seriously), but needs the context to reach its full funny... --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ign^STFU F@H|NS|+S 17:43, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

I'm retracting my (ignorant) vote, as I'm sure more biblical knowledged people will find this image hilarious. --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ign^STFU F@H|NS|+S 04:44, 25 April 2006 (UTC)

• Against As a Jew, I don't understand what the joke is. Plus the caption should say "Circumsizing"...that would be funny. And maybe it should be in Latin...as per the caption. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 18:08, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Weak for As a half breed Jew, I get the humor, which is very funny. But I wish the screen graphics were better because they're very tiny, and are going to be miniscule on the front page. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:24, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Weak against. Funny? Yes, but size issues kill this on the front page.--<<>> 19:01, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Agaisnt ENOUGH WITH THE JESUS JOKES! --PiOfFive 19:12, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Comment Please explain how this is a Jesus joke. More than anything it's a Pontius Pilate joke. If you read the article, you'll see I make fun of Pontius Pilate for letting the wrong guy get killed. In fact, I got the idea for the article whilst at a Good Friday service. Not even kdding. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 20:13, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

• Fro MORE WITH THE JESUS JOKES! I think the thing that should be added is from the article: "Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear three days later, after descending to the Recycle Bin." Also to explain the joke, the file is named Jesus.chr (Jesus Christ) and the user of the Pontius Pilot (the man who sent Jesus to his death) is deleting the file and leaving the Barabbus file (just as Pilate did)... IMO, it is great, and if you are truly satirists and this is a satire website then ALL subjects should be fine to parody, not just SOME. If someone here was a Scientologist and saw my last featured image, they would no doubt say it was offensive and that it made fun of their beliefs and although I am Christian and find this image making light of my religion's savior, the overall irony and topicality of the image wins my vote over offensiveness because EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE OFFENDED BY SOMETHING HERE, WHY SHOULD WE PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT WILL BE OFFENSIVE? Not to mention that it's funny naming it the "Pontius Pilot" -- LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here}19:51, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment Nobody has said they find it offensive. The objections have been 1) "I don't get the joke," 2) size issues and 3) Jesus jokes are getting old on Uncyclopedia (and let's face it, we've had more than our share). —rc (t) 20:15, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
    • ah I took pi's comment as he found it offensive -- LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here}22:12, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Weak for. Very funny, size issues though. It could include a hands-washing icon.--Rataube 20:41, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Comment Is the new caption better? Or should I keep the old one?-- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 20:53, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

I wouldn't vote for it with this caption, it's too close to explaining the joke.--Rataube 21:03, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Just to confuse it further, I like the longer caption.  :)--<<>> 21:21, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

• For. --OsirisX 23:55, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against I love it! It is really funny, but it relies on small text. Small text in featured images just doesn't cut it. --Mosquitopsu 03:04, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against: Sorry STM, it's too tall, won't be legible when shrunk and I'm just not feeling it. --Sir gwax (talk) 14:00, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• For-That is fucking funny--2nd Lt. Claudius Prime 14:40, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• Comment - I recommend changing "start" to "initio", PNG (Portable Network Graphic) to CGG (Confertus Cassius Graphicus) and "Crucifying..." to "Tollens in Crucem...", putting a latin date on instead of the time (eg. a.d. VIII Kal. Mai.) --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 17:10, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• Comment The image is now about the size of the Grand Theft Auto: Vatican City image and doesn't(in my opinion) lose too much of its effectiveness. Discuss. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 20:08, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• Best caption EVER, like, in the entire history of captions. --  Skyscraper 23:13, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

• For still wish the Icons were bigger, but now there big enough--Lieutenant Nappy_The_Quarryman MUN UND BET ELV VAN SPEL SEXY WH NS GR HMRFRA CM 01:47, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
• $\sum_{k=0}^1 \left(2k+1\right)$ 04:34, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against: Boring --Alan Truism 20:21, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
• FOR!!!. This is one of the funniest pictures I've seen in a while. It's perfect, the "Pontius Pilot", Jesus.chr being crucified, etc.--Anon32 01:07, 26 April 2006 (UTC)
• Great caption, but don't feature.  Sir Dawg  cun | tlk | vdp  00:35, 27 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Very witty. 71.226.170.236 11:03, 27 April 2006 (UTC)

• For This is, in my opinion, the funniest candidate left. I didn't think my SHal.jpg thing was going to win, but I'm a little confused about the unanimously negative response. Then again, that could just be me out of whack sense of humor acting up again.
  • Unsigned.--Anon32 18:56, 27 April 2006 (UTC)
• For This is, in my opinion, the funniest candidate left. I didn't think my SHal.jpg thing was going to win, but I'm a little confused about the unanimously negative response. Then again, that could just be me out of whack sense of humor acting up again. --RudolfRadna 19:02, 27 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Well made and a goos joke, though it does lose something out of the context of the article. - jack mort | cunt | talk - 11:11, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
• Please, please, please,No more jesus jokes. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 12:34, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
  • For the love of all that is holy this is not a "Jesus joke", especially not one in the vein of most Uncyclopedia Jesii jokes. Just because it mentions Him doesn't mean it's a Jesus joke. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 19:01, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 05:01, 29 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Totally awsome, I like the first one however, but the idea is the same. --¶ 17:48, 29 April 2006 (UTC)
• Conditional For. If you change descending to ascending in the caption, you have my vote. Last time I checked, you ascend into heaven, right?--Jocke Pirat 18:52, 29 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Response Hell is to Earth what the Recycle Bin is to the Pontius Pilot. Thus it is accurate to say that the file descended. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:32, 29 April 2006 (UTC)
• For - What the hell.--Surreal Hamster
• For - Despite, or perhaps because of, the way that it ridicules, demeans, offends and oppresses a handy piece of portable technology --Hardwick Fundlebuggy 23:00, 29 April 2006 (UTC)

Breaking News

Featured picture candidate
Fox News is also available on channel 8 in Middle Earth, though it has been lambasted for its outrageously conservative views. Image credit: Kharpert Archive - Discuss this image

its funny cos they wont be able to read it(also note the smallest text in the nom'ed image is bigger then this text here)

• nom and against... i mean for--Da, Y?YY?YYY?:-:CUN³ NotM BLK |_LG⁷+::: 05:59, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against. Too Computerised-looking, too Unrealistic, too [Insert synonym here]. ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 11:22, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• Yes. More LOTR humor! - Sir Sikon [formerly known as Guest] 12:02, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. 'Tis good. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 12:13, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• Cannot be denied. For. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 13:10, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• I like the image but it looks like some of the parts were just pulled from fox news screenshots so the quality of the LOTR image and the fox logo don't match - I'll give you a full for if you can clean it up and make it look more uniform :) --LinkTGF 13:22, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• i think the use of a computer image fits well with fox news hyper active Fidgety news style and over use of computer graphics --Da, Y?YY?YYY?:-:CUN³ NotM BLK |_LG⁷+::: 22:12, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against Punish the Infadels. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 22:22, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• for like the last time it was nominated--Lieutenant Nappy_The_Quarryman MUN UND BET ELV VAN SPEL SEXY WH NS GR HMRFRA CM 23:17, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against I really like it and I think it is funny but it relies on small text, which doesn't work as a featured image. --Mosquitopsu 23:25, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against. Mos is right (plus, where's the mention of the attack on "The Two Towers"?)--<<>> 02:44, 21 April 2006 (UTC)
• For the fogeys - Ooh, me cataracts is actin' up and I can barely reads this. Somebody tern down that confurnal racket and fetch me a switch so's I kin beat that small text into next week, yuntoo. -- Imserialized 04:35, 21 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against--Rataube 13:13, 21 April 2006 (UTC)
• FOR! This kicks ass! --PiOfFive 15:57, 21 April 2006 (UTC)
• against until it's cleaned up as per my suggestions above --LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here}16:35, 21 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against: It's WAY too cluttered, making it difficult to make things out. --Sir gwax (talk) 13:56, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• For-This made me laugh, despite the fact that it is cluttered--2nd Lt. Claudius Prime 14:42, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
  • comment did anyone else notice that you can see and american flag above the word "calls" in the bottom crawl? -- LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here} 16:08, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
• againstI had to blow the picture up to make out the content, and even then it was too cluttered. Of course Fox News clutters up the screen pretty bad too so I guess that is a bit realistic, but I still think it is headache material. --Alan Truism 20:23, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. I really like this for some reason, it does need to be bigger tho, squinting is bad. - jack mort | cunt | talk - 11:15, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against too confusing. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 12:30, 28 April 2006 (UTC)

Previously Featured Pictures

These images have already been featured. Do not put any further votes on this page, use PFP instead.

Age of Umpires

Featured picture candidate
A screenshot from Age of Umpires II: Age of Cricket. In this example, we see the classic "Shotgun-Seven" formation being used to maximum effect. Any good Umpire would note that this places a good deal emphasis on the left side, making it easy enough to sneak in the stray foul wicket. Image credit: Hindleyite Archive - Discuss this image

Featured —rc (t) 04:42, 27 April 2006 (UTC)

• Nomination Probably my single favorite original image from the Poo Lit Surprise. —rc (t) 01:16, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Goodness, yes. A well-deserved winner already. More shiny things! -- Sir Codeine KUN VFP Bur. MDA NS UotM CM +S (Harangue) 01:30, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For, even though I don't understand the first damned thing about cricket. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 01:31, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Hilarious at first sight, with or without any knowledge of cricket.--<<>> 02:12, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• what's so funny about that? against --LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here} 04:24, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. --Spin 06:05, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. --OsirisX 08:49, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 10:49, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against. I don't find this funny--Rataube 10:58, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For Jolly good! --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 11:00, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against Oh look you can copy and paste a picture of people playing baseball onto a screenshot of somone playing AOE. Whoop-D-do. I'd vote yes if you could A) make the box, or B) make the Umpires look like real AOE figures. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 13:35, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment Apparently the box has been made, and I don't like it either. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 13:41, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment, they are playing Cricket, not Baseball. --OsirisX 23:57, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
  • still doesn't change that it's very unfunny --LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here}00:23, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Can I vote for my own pic? --Hindleyite Talk 13:48, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Yes, you may. And 't is indeed a mighty good image. Funnies all over, and not a detail missed. --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ign^STFU F@H|NS|+S 14:18, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

• Yes please. --  Skyscraper 15:16, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For - Even with my horribly rudimentary knowledge of cricket and AOE, I still find this immensely funny. Nice work. --Imrealized 17:20, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• comment no, honestly, can someone explain why this image is funny because I dont understand it and if someone explains it then perhaps it will make more sense... -- LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here}17:38, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against I don't get it, sorry, but I just don't find it funny. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:26, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. I don't like Cricket......I love it.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)
• Comment This highlights the whole 'satire without context' issue doesn't it? Only British people seem to find this hilarious, like me, yet none of us find US jokes funny in the least. maybe we should institute another ignorable policy....--The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 19:20, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• I think it needs a caption that better illustrates it, cuz just saying "screenshot from the game" doesn't explain anything for this pic. -- LinkTheGameFreak ^{Bitch here}19:40, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
• Comment The essence of this image is that it's a pun put into (I think) a very well-done photoshop job. The little figures look just like what I remember the sprites from Age of Empires looking like, and nearly every part of the screenshot contributes to the joke. I'm not even British and I don't know the first thing about cricket, and I like the image a lot. The caption I used gives the basic joke, but if someone wants to write a longer one by all means go ahead. —rc (t) 00:29, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• Against It looks really good, but I am afraid that most people probably woudln't get it (must have played some AoE), making it a bad image for featuring. --Mosquitopsu 03:05, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• For: /me agrees with Rc --Sir gwax (talk) 13:58, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• For aussie aussie aussie --SubPOP 16:32, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. I thought something like this up before I knew about Uncyclopedia. Swordmaster 17:04, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
• For. Anyone who doesn't understand the joke might want to look up what an umpire is and then see if they can figure out why it is funny to photoshop cricket into Age Of Empires. Bloopy 10:46, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
• BUENO--Alan Truism 20:19, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
• For--Anon32 01:06, 26 April 2006 (UTC)
• For sure Excellent image.  Sir Dawg  cun | tlk | vdp  00:36, 27 April 2006 (UTC)
• For It's a six! --T.W 13:19, 27 April 2006 (my time...)