Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Michael Jefferson (quick)
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Uhm, hello, this is my third article and i just want some feed back on it, like crittisism(except spelling corrections..I know i spell bad) and some "how to make it better" suggestions and what ever else you can say about it. The article itself is about the world famus musician, Michael Jefferson.
The Thriller 00:24, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
- when I'm done with the one I'm working on, I'll get to this. --DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 01:36, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
It doesnt matter who does it, you both can if you want, im really looking for feedback and critisism.--The Thriller 17:33, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
- HELPME's booking stands rather than Iwillkillyou333's, if you want to give feedback Iwillkillyou then you only need to say on the talk page. -- 18:27, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
Will someone just piss on this yet?--The Thriller 20:58, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
- Working on it. If I don't finish today, which I probably won't, I'll do it tomorrow. Remember to be patient, reviewing takes a while, and I have IRL stuff like everybody else. I'm putting in quite a long one here, so it'll probably be worth the wait. :)--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 21:44, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
Please, be merciless--The Thriller 23:18, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
- Not quite done, you may have to wait until tomorrow. I'm so sorry. I would say "anyone can review this now" but I'm almost finished but have to leave right now. As soon as I can, I'll finish. Sorry!--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 02:02, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||4||This article was quite good for that of a new user. Multiple things bog it down, though. It’s not horribly bad or anything, it just needs a bit of help for it to be really good. OK, so now I'll go with my usual section-by-section format.
|Concept:||6||Your concept is alright. There is already a Michael Jackson article, so you lose slight originality points. Your execution was generally alright, but not great. The other sections have information on how you can improve it. This section is short for me because I give all of my execution advice elsewhere. I put my advice for concept in humor, but I do score them separately.|
|Prose and formatting:||3||Yes, I know you said you didn’t want spelling corrections, but your spelling actually hurt your article. There were quite a few spelling and grammar errors, I’m sorry to say. I’ll put the corrected paragraphs below. (Mistakes are in ALL CAPS, unless they’re punctuation problems. Some paragraphs are rephrased because I dislike their wording. Those are in ALL CAPS as well. If you want to copy them, make sure to fix he caps.)
Aside FROM all OF the good things you just read, he can be a little off at times. Some of his WEIRD TENDENCIES include yelling "HEE HEE" randomly while having a conversation. HE WILL ALSO sometimes yell "Cha'mon" which is a DELIBERATE MISPRONUNCIATION of the words "Come on". He also likes to climb trees and ride trains. Some may find this WEIRD for an adult, but all is well, ESPECIALLY if YOU’RE as RICH as Mr. Jefferson, Cha'mon! Michael Jefferson has also been the VICTIM of racist police officers. Although Michael Jefferson looks white, he is, in fact, black and RICH, and police officers hate RICH black men, HEE HEE, for some reason. There have been two incidents of Michael Jefferson being FRAMED for crimes he did not commit. As you read, I hope you get a good understanding of the man that is Michael Jefferson. You will learn about his life, music, career, and controversies. HEE HEE!
As you may or may not know, Michael Jefferson had a very bad CHILDHOOD. He never got to play with the other kids, BECAUSE he was always working and ALWAYS GOT beaten. Many BELIEVE this is what AFFECTED his mental state in his later years. THEY ALSO BELIEVE THAT made him act so child-like and THAT WAS what gave him the desire to always want to be with children. Michael thinks IT’S ignorant how people don't research his childhood before they judge him, or even ask him about some of the odd things that he often denies.
Zombie Album: Pop, Rock, and R&B Good: Pop SAFETY: New Jack Swing, Rock Ballads, and Pop. The last one before things got WEIRD. Crappy Compilation Album with a few new songs: Same as above, but with some new songs, most of them expressing Michael Jefferson's anger. Blood on the Bathroom Floor: A Remix of the new songs from Crappy Compilation Album with a few new songs with a few new ones AS WELL.. Seeing a pattern? Some one is losing his edge.. God Complex: Techno Funk, Piano, Jazz, and Slow Rock. Untitled: INCOMPLETE, The Singles listed below are part of HIS soon-to-be album, along with some new and unreleased songs. At one point in history, Michael Jefferson was one of the most popular celebrities in the world. His world wide phenomenon phase began in 1982, with the release of his new album, "Zombie Album" and his new look. THIS fame LASTED UNTIL ABOUT 1985 or 1986. DURING the good years, he would often record songs with other ARTISTS, mainly ones from Motown. In many people's OPINION, his life went downhill when his hair caught ON fire DURING the filming of a Pepsi commercial. In the good years, it was not uncommon to see him on a daytime TV talk show, like Jesus and Pals. An aspect that made Michael Jefferson so popular was that he was very mysterious and wasn't WEIRD yet. Michael Jefferson is probably best known for his FAMOUS song and music video: "The Really Long Zombie One" which is a 15-minute long music video where Michael Jefferson portrays a zombie and dances around, while HARASSING some girl. Yes, it is pretty dang RIDICULOUS. Michael Jefferson is also known for his EXCELLENT stage performances and his perfectionism in his work, and is by far the greatest solo artist of his TIME, if not all time. His different albums ARE KNOWN FOR INCORPORATING different sounds and genres of music.
Not Michael's tabloid press.... Around the TIME OF THE release of the album "Good" WAS when some people started to wonder "What the hell?" His skin was lighter, and he now had a butt chin, it was OBVIOUS that he HAD been having plastic surgery. No, wait, THAT’S ignorant, why would you say such a thing? The album "Good" was an overall success with music videos and all.
IT WAS the end of an era, yes, it is true that this was HIS last work that would be released under good circumstances. The lead single "Am I Black or White" was very catchy yet infuriating to many, AS it seemed like he was mocking us with that sort of question, BECAUSE NONE of us could really answer it. This album's success lasted UNTIL 1993 when Michael Jefferson was accused of molesting children.
1. Have You Been Up My Wishing Tree? 2. Lets Ride the Train 3. Peter Pan 4. We All Have the Power to Change 5. Little Girl These songs were very SUCCESSFUL, ESPECIALLY after he died. His popularity skyrocketed after HIS death. With the singles released was one music video for the song "Lets Ride the Train" which CONSISTED of Michael and one of his younger friends riding a train. The Video was released early on account OF THE FACT that he died. Cha'Mon.
Michael Jefferson's ethnicity is a question to many. He is "legally" an AFRICAN AMERICAN, but he appears to BE a white man. There are several theories behind WHY this IS. ONE THEORY STATES THAT he was black and suffered from a DISEASE known as VITILIGO. ANOTHER THEORY IS that he bleached his skin. THE THIRD THEORY IS THAT IT could have been a birth defect. Even though it is well known that Michael Jefferson was once black, many conspiracy THEORISTS believe that Michael Jefferson was captured by aliens in 1985 and replaced by one of their own so they could influence the population.
|Images:||6||What does a six in images mean in one of my reviews? Well, it means that your images weren’t bad, but they don’t really do great. All of your images are directly from South Park. That’s alright. However, to make these images really shine, you need to have good captions. Your captions are good in some places, but pretty average overall. The first and second ones? Wouldn’t change them, except for one thing: in the second image, it says that it’s a clip, but that’s a picture. I am nitpicky, yes. Both of them work well, though. The third image (The “Let’s (grammar fixed) ride the train” one) isn’t as fun. Some punchline would really help in here. I kinda like the fourth one. It has a couple grammar issues, though. Here it is, written correctly: “Michael Jefferson, back in the day, on the TV talk show Jesus and Pals.” The last one is a bit average, but I suppose this is just a “remembrance” image, so that’s OK.|
|Miscellaneous:||4.5||Not an average, just my feel on how good this currently is.|
|Final Score:||23.5||So, to conclude: this article is great for that of a new user, but it isn’t as good as it could be right now. The three biggest things you need to improve:
After you do these things, the article will be much better. Good luck with your changes, and have fun! (PS: Review some UN:BEST articles and re-read HTBFANJS to help. PPS: Contact me on my talk page if you have any questions.)
|Reviewer:||--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 00:56, May 5, 2010 (UTC)|