UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (UnBreakingNews UnNews:My damn TV won't work)
Line 46: Line 46:
=== [[This Week's Horoscopes]]===
=== [[This Week's Horoscopes]]===
* '''Aries (March 21 - April 19)''' - Generally, people love your gregariousness, your overblown sense of entitlement and your six fingers on each hand. But this isn't a good week to flaunt them. Just trust me.
* '''Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)''' - When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, you will be [[kung fu|ready]]. You should probably untie that rope from your balls first, though.
<div align="right">'''[[this Week's Horoscopes|see more horoscopes]]'''</div>
<div align="right">'''[[this Week's Horoscopes|see more horoscopes]]'''</div>

Revision as of 06:35, June 16, 2009

UnNews: Your source for up-to-the-minute misinformation.

April 30, 2016 15:44 UTC

From the Chief | Audio | Podcast | Random article | Goldstein Award | Foolitzer Prize

Template:Lead Article

Latest news reports:

Refresh to see the latest news! If you find a broken, true, or rubbish article, fix it!

Archives: April 2016 | Older Indigestions

Got something to say? Request an interview with the UnNews community

Got news and no computer? Call the UnNews Hotline

+1-900-867-5309 (toll-free* in the U.S. only, ask for Jenny [*may not actually be free])
+1-234-567-8910 (outside the U.S. - long distance if you don't know)
+44-(0)7758-913637 (U.K. / Europe) real number!
If you have news, and a computer, and can't figure out how to work this page, try Clicking Here


Customer "service"

Write a new UnNews story:

Type your desired headline and then click on the button.

Template:Lead Tester

Template:Lead Tester


Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.

UnFunnies for April 30


This Week's Horoscopes


  • Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, you will be ready. You should probably untie that rope from your balls first, though.

Minitrue ± What's This?

On This Day

April 30, 2015

April 30, 2014

UnWeather Station

provided by UnNews
UnWeather operates automatically by going out and auto-reading the weather news itself, and its contents are free and open to abuse and buttrape (only by appointment, please).



a 1000% chance of




an 87% chance of

a beer bash



a 27% chance of


Suggested Recreation
While there is no chance of tornados
Tuesday, we suggest reviewing your personal hygene.
Global Warming Indicator

Global Warming Indicator

International Posts

Special Weather Report:

Hell was reported to have frozen over last night by mistake, Iran lends Satan few billion gallons oil for heat.

UnWeather Station Forecast Stats

The number of accurate forecasts to date equals the number of homeruns Barry Bonds has without the aid of steroids.

About UnNews

An Uncyclomedia project

We are a group of semi-sentient beings whose mission is to build a website with present, up-to-date, relevant, newsworthy and entertaining content without a shred of truth.

All content is released under a free license. By making our content perpetually available for free redistribution and abuse, we hope to line the birdcages of people everywhere.

UnNews also aims to write stories from a borg point of view.

UnNews needs you! We want to create a diverse community where proles from around the globe can collaborate to report the news lies on a wide variety of events that never happened.

If you would like to write, publish or edit articles, visit the Workspace and read the Introduction to UnNews.

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository

If you find UnNews or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

Personal tools