|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
10 December 2006
AMERICA, WORLD - A proper joke is a delicate thing. Delivered with gravitas and precision timing, a joke can teach the world to sing again - or something equally sappy. But today, no such joke was crafted, for today is a day that jokesters will forever mourn. Today, the world's worst knock-knock joke was told.
Yes, knock-knock jokes are well known to be the most inferior of all spoken jokes - "interrupting cow", anyone? - but the joke told today was told with such bland lack of charm and unimaginative grace that it sparked mass boredom. The joke was as follows:
After days of anonymity, the joke teller admitted his identity: Dick Hertz, a European man. He tried apologizing on David Letterman, but people wouldn't stop laughing at his name. "C'mon, people," (The) Dick pleaded, "It's not even that funny. My mother, she was a failed and bitter stand-up comedian. She thought it would be funny. Please just - STOP LAUGHING!" He stormed off the stage in a huff, crying. It was the first time he ever made people laugh.
The recipient of the joke, Humphrey Lee, had this to say: "Not funny. At all. Just stupid. Also, I'm suing him, because while I wasn't looking my home burned down, killing my kitten, wife, and unborn child. But, seriously, it just wasn't funny, and I'm very annoyed."
i have a worse joke. eww u have something on your face. no wait, that is your face!!! ahahahahah not funny