The Protocols of the Elders of Zion
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The Protocols of the Elders of Zion are a totally true and completely non-forged series of documents which show the true plans of the evil Jewish conspiracy against the people of the world. All allegations of it being a forgery are totally because the Jews control the media and governments of all Western democracies.
The fact it appears to be a forgery of the Napoleonic satire "Dialogues in Hell Between Machiavelli and Montesquieu" with Jews in place of Jesuits (down to the last letter) has no relevance at all as far as we're concerned. There is (as always) an alternate theory that both books are true, and that the Jesuits and the Elders of Zion used magick to literally channel the spirits of Machiavelli (who history shows was a known Crypto-Joo, even though like all employed people at the time he was outwardly Italian and very Roman Catholic) and Montesquieu (who is French and therefore super-gay).
The natural result of publication of The Protocols is, in terms of bloodshed, nearly unmatched in recorded history. A noted exception to this is the publication of nearly every religious book ever.
Regulation of the Protocols
The protocols are described in detail in 125 RFCs, which describe what aspects implementors MUST and MAY follow in order to be Protocols of the Elders of Zion compliant.
Full compliance with the protocols may be board-certified by Illuminati, Inc., who will send you a lovely badge you can wear to show your total dominion by the Lizards and their "Evil Joo" (tm) UnderLords. On common household items, this designation is displayed with the secret mark reading "UL Listed".
Protocol Directives, or RFCs for short, are developed and described extensively in the protocols. Incidentally, the jews invented Usenet just to keep the RFCs of Zion safe in case of goyim nuclear (or nucular, depending on what part of the US you are from) attack.
|RFC 768||Jews must gain control over the banks of the world via some sort of relative.|
|RFC 791||Jews must create and maintain late fee heavy price structures and draconian "be-kind-rewind" policies at Blockbuster.|
|RFC 792||Jews must gain control of the remote control, thus having decision-making powers over what shows to watch. (50% complete)|
|RFC 795||Insist some people are Jewish, even if they don't want to be (e.g. David Cross).|
|RFC 798||Eating Pepperoni Pizza is NOT a violoation of the "no milk n' meat" and "no eating pork" rules. It's TOTALLY kosher!|
|RFC 821||Next year in Israel! It's so nice and peaceful there.|
|RFC 822||Get shitfaced this weekend. Totally. And go dancing.|
|RFC 891||Infiltrate NFL with super-human linebackers (not even freaking NEAR complete).|
List of Zionist Elders
- Steven Spielberg
- Paul Wolfowitz
- George Soros
- Ayn Rand
- Joe Lieberman
- George W. Bush
- Scooter Libby
- Albert Einstein
- Bobby Fischer
- Ariel Sharon
- Adam Sandler
- Isaac Asimov
- Leonard Nimoy
- Michael Richards
- Ron Jeremy
- Rabbi Chaim Lochaim Mazzel Tov
- Ronie Rosenthal
- Noam Chomsky
- Jesus H. Christ
- Golda Meir
- Uri Geller
- Henry Kissinger
- Adolf Hitler
- Joseph Stalin
- Saddam Hussein
- Mahmoud Ahmedinejad
- David Duke
- The original Ku Klux Klan (all the post war groups have been infiltrated or created)
- Michael Bloomberg
- Leo Strauss
Other Secret Rulers of the World
- Church of the Subgenius
- Oscar Wilde
- Mormon pride
- That guy over there
- That bastard Goldstein next door. I'm sure he's in on it!
- Your Mom
- The Netherlands
- Shapeshifting humanoid reptiles
- Shapeshifting reptilian humans
- God. I mean, comeon. he got Jesus on his side and everything!