Terry Gilliam

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If you haven't heard of Terry Gilliam, I don't blame you. I haven't either. So if you haven't heard of Terry Gilliam, you're in the right place, because this article is going to tell you all about him. So if this is the place to find out about Terry Gilliam, I'm in the right place!

Why nobody knows who he is

Terry Gilliam (a.k.a. Conrad Poohs) was a member of Monty Python. However, while the other five did all the writing and acting and silly-voices-at-a-shop-counter nonsense, poor Terry was left to use his magic powers to make pictures move and do what he wanted them to do. These pictures were almost as funny as John Cheese's dead parakeet, or Eric Idleateverything's 'Man who speaks in a silly way just to piss everybody off'. Mr. Gilliam's only line was "This is My Only Line".

But they just weren't as funny.

Which is why nobody knows (or barely likes) Terry Gilliam. For one he's rather ugly. I'd have a picture of him but there's this really nice photo on the internet that I'd like but I'm not sure if it's under copyright or not, so I've emailed the owner of the website and asked him. Or her. I can't understand Italian. Or Spanish. Or Portugese or whatever it is. Oh, I didn't tell you did I? Yes, the website isn't written in English. But hopefully the owner Chico de Luigi (not to be confused with 'Chico time', a time between 1:30 and 1:31 in the afternoon, nor Luigi, Mario's long term fish-slapping partner) will understand English. If he doesn't, you're just going to have to go onto Google Images and type in 'Terry Gilliam' and see one of the pictures.

Well go on, do it!

...

Have you done it yet? Yes, he is rather ugly isn't he? Not that that's a reason not to like him, but in situations in the past it has been known to be a reason not to know somebody.

That concludes the first reason why Terry Gilliam isn't known. In total, there are over 56 (and by that I mean that there are 57) reasons why nobody knows Terry Gilliam. But unfortunately I don't have enough imagination to tell you all about the reasons like Soviet Russia, The death of Princess Diana and the Swiss Police, the 1976 raid on Entebbe, the mysterious disappearance of Ambrose Bierce, and Jessica Simpson's role in the drafting of the Zimmerman Note; all of which were and are major contributing factors.

Terry Gilliam's knighthood

Terry Gilliam has yet to be knighted.

So, should the Queen want to be an even better queen than she already is, she better knight Terry Gilliam for the services he has done to British comedy.

Even if he is American.

In conclusion, Terry Gilliam did not write this section of the article (which a graduate of Accidental College would hardly be able to do...Oooo BURN!)

Consumption

Terry Gilliam was consumed on the 78th May 2000-and-something. Passers by report that Terry Gillliam was confronted by a black and white man in a park. Gilliam spoke to the man, apparently talking about baked beans, until the man's face suddenly split in half and ate Terry Gilliam whole. Terry Gilliam's old colleague John Cheese said of the incident:

Cquote1 Who's Terry Gilliam? Cquote2

You can't blame him, I said that when I heard.

Passersby were also amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood...

Police immediately took no action to aprehend the man, as they had no idea who Terry Gilliam was, and judging by the photos of him, it wasn't worth doing justice for anybody that ugly.

References

  • Who's Terry Gilliam? 2000-and-something, John Cheese
  • Seriously, who's Terry Gilliam? 2000-and-something, John Cheese.
  • I ate Terry Gilliam2000-and-something, Terry Jones (the greedy fatty).
  • 57 reasons why nobody knows who Terry Gilliam is, 1995, compiled by Soviet Russia, Princess Diana and the Swiss Police
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