South Park

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==Secondary Characters==
 
==Secondary Characters==
 
[[Image:Chef-hayes.gif|right|thumb|175px|[[Chef|Former resident of South Park]]; ''we do not speak his name''.]]
 
[[Image:Chef-hayes.gif|right|thumb|175px|[[Chef|Former resident of South Park]]; ''we do not speak his name''.]]
*'''Bebe Stevens''' - Basically, the fourth grade's resident slut with huge boobs. Clyde is her [[pimp]].
 
*'''Wendy Testaburger''' - Hippie douche who cheats on Stan with anyone with a cock as Stan had his chopped off by [[Pedobear]].
 
*'''Heidi Turner, Anne Polk, Millie, Red etc''' - Background girls that do jack all. Giggle a lot and bitch about people.
 
*'''Clyde Donovan''' The fat kid whenever Cartman is absent. Bebe's pimp.
 
 
*'''Aunt Flow''': Aunt Flow is the sister of Stan Marsh's mother. According to Stan's father, Randy, Aunt Flow visits once a month for a period of 4-5 days, during which time Stan's mother is [[Vaginal sores|easily irritated]], makes unreasonable demands, forces Randy to sleep on the couch, and is basically the cause of much unhappiness for all members of the family.
 
*'''Aunt Flow''': Aunt Flow is the sister of Stan Marsh's mother. According to Stan's father, Randy, Aunt Flow visits once a month for a period of 4-5 days, during which time Stan's mother is [[Vaginal sores|easily irritated]], makes unreasonable demands, forces Randy to sleep on the couch, and is basically the cause of much unhappiness for all members of the family.
*'''[[Tom Cruise]]''' - Contrary to popular belief, Tom Cruise will come out of the closet; but only as long as he can take it with him.
+
*'''Bebe Stevens''' - Basically, the fourth grade's resident slut with huge boobs. Clyde is her [[pimp]].
 
*'''[[Butters]]''' - Real name: Leopold Stotch (not scotch, dumbass). He is generally everyone's bitch by everyone's consent except his own. He enjoys playing with toy cars when not being smacked around or tricked into having sex by Cartman. After he was fired as as Kenny's replacment he became Professor Choas and went on a mass-murder spree around South Park.
 
*'''[[Butters]]''' - Real name: Leopold Stotch (not scotch, dumbass). He is generally everyone's bitch by everyone's consent except his own. He enjoys playing with toy cars when not being smacked around or tricked into having sex by Cartman. After he was fired as as Kenny's replacment he became Professor Choas and went on a mass-murder spree around South Park.
  +
*'''Clyde Donovan''' - The fat kid whenever Cartman is absent. Bebe's pimp.
  +
*'''Heidi Turner, Anne Polk, Millie, Red etc''' - Background girls that do jack all. Giggle a lot and bitch about people.
 
*'''Ike''' - Also referred to by Cartman as "Kike", he is Kyle's little brother who was adopted from Canada. Due to his heritage, his head resembles something similar to [[Weebl and Bob]].
 
*'''Ike''' - Also referred to by Cartman as "Kike", he is Kyle's little brother who was adopted from Canada. Due to his heritage, his head resembles something similar to [[Weebl and Bob]].
*'''Mr./Mrs. Garrison''' - Oh SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! She teaches the children all about world cultures and practices, such as Filthy Sanchez and the Hot Karl. AMBIGUOUSLY STRAIGHT, then AMBIGUOUSLY GAY, then VERY GAY, then TRANSSEXUAL, then GAY AGAIN. Now is female and STRAIGHT, Then LESBIAN, and then BECOMES A MAN WHOSE SEXUALITY IS UNKNOWN. She/He... erm... It enjoys baking, pissing sitting down and strutting. It had sex with its dad and has a gay slave. Man. What a fucked up but funny guy, girl....thing.
 
 
*'''Jimmy''' - T...T...To...ken cri... cri...ple #... #...2 (see [[Timmy]]). [[You have two cows/4|Comedian]] and member of the Cri... Cri... Cri..ps.
 
*'''Jimmy''' - T...T...To...ken cri... cri...ple #... #...2 (see [[Timmy]]). [[You have two cows/4|Comedian]] and member of the Cri... Cri... Cri..ps.
  +
*'''ManBearPig''' - A mythological creature comprising Half Man, Half Bear, and Half Pig (or some variance and combination of these. MIT researchers are currently working on it.) He must super-cerealisy be stopped, before he can... erm... I'm sorry Mr. Gore, what is it that ManBearPig does that is so bad for society.
  +
*'''Mr./Mrs. Garrison''' - Oh SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! She teaches the children all about world cultures and practices, such as Filthy Sanchez and the Hot Karl. AMBIGUOUSLY STRAIGHT, then AMBIGUOUSLY GAY, then VERY GAY, then TRANSSEXUAL, then GAY AGAIN. Now is female and STRAIGHT, Then LESBIAN, and then BECOMES A MAN WHOSE SEXUALITY IS UNKNOWN. She/He... erm... It enjoys baking, pissing sitting down and strutting. It had sex with its dad and has a gay slave. Man. What a fucked up but funny guy, girl....thing.
 
*'''[[Mr. Hankey]]''' - Walking, talking piece of Christmas-poo that lives in the sewers underneath South Park. Hooooooowdy ho kids!!! Is often seen crawling along children's faces at night on Christmas Eve.
 
*'''[[Mr. Hankey]]''' - Walking, talking piece of Christmas-poo that lives in the sewers underneath South Park. Hooooooowdy ho kids!!! Is often seen crawling along children's faces at night on Christmas Eve.
 
*'''Mr. Mackey''' - Now, Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay! Uncyclopedia doesn't have real information, M'Kay. And doesn't expand your mind, M'Kay... Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay...
 
*'''Mr. Mackey''' - Now, Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay! Uncyclopedia doesn't have real information, M'Kay. And doesn't expand your mind, M'Kay... Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay...
Line 81: Line 80:
 
*'''[[Timmy]]''' - The token cripple along with Jimmy...He enjoys playing Wheelchair Wars and shouting TIMMMMMAYYYYY!!!! He has Attention Deficit Disorder, contrary to Public Opinion in South Park.
 
*'''[[Timmy]]''' - The token cripple along with Jimmy...He enjoys playing Wheelchair Wars and shouting TIMMMMMAYYYYY!!!! He has Attention Deficit Disorder, contrary to Public Opinion in South Park.
 
*'''Token''' - The only black-skinned kid in South Park. From the way he acts, though, he seems as white as [[Whitney Houston|Whitney Houston's]] nostrils on a Saturday night. And the way he has lots of money and advertises it would bring to mind more comparison to the Jews than Kyle.
 
*'''Token''' - The only black-skinned kid in South Park. From the way he acts, though, he seems as white as [[Whitney Houston|Whitney Houston's]] nostrils on a Saturday night. And the way he has lots of money and advertises it would bring to mind more comparison to the Jews than Kyle.
  +
*'''[[Tom Cruise]]''' - Contrary to popular belief, Tom Cruise will come out of the closet; but only as long as he can take it with him.
 
*'''[[Towelie]]''' - A [[towel]] originally designed by aliens to dehydrate the people of Earth, he prefers instead to sit around and get high, like all anthropomorphic towels. He also reminds kids to bring [[towel]] with them wherever they go. When told that such advice is useless, he'll stubbornly attempt to refute the statement by saying 'it IS useful'. If they contradict him, he'll continue to say 'yes it is!' until the conversation hopelessly ends at some point. This character's punch-line is actually a subtle reference to the need for towels on the Vogon space ship in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy movie series by Douglas Adams, where towels served as shields against the aliens' weapons. He will ask attending third party by-passers who might happen to be in the same room if they wish to get high. If they refuse, he'll say 'You sure?', ultimately producing a minimally awkward moment. If they refuse a second time, he'll wander away.
 
*'''[[Towelie]]''' - A [[towel]] originally designed by aliens to dehydrate the people of Earth, he prefers instead to sit around and get high, like all anthropomorphic towels. He also reminds kids to bring [[towel]] with them wherever they go. When told that such advice is useless, he'll stubbornly attempt to refute the statement by saying 'it IS useful'. If they contradict him, he'll continue to say 'yes it is!' until the conversation hopelessly ends at some point. This character's punch-line is actually a subtle reference to the need for towels on the Vogon space ship in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy movie series by Douglas Adams, where towels served as shields against the aliens' weapons. He will ask attending third party by-passers who might happen to be in the same room if they wish to get high. If they refuse, he'll say 'You sure?', ultimately producing a minimally awkward moment. If they refuse a second time, he'll wander away.
 
*'''Tweek''' - A coffee addict who fears [[Coffee]]. He was lucky enough to replace Kenny after he died and went on vacation in Hell.
 
*'''Tweek''' - A coffee addict who fears [[Coffee]]. He was lucky enough to replace Kenny after he died and went on vacation in Hell.
*'''ManBearPig''' - A mythological creature comprising Half Man, Half Bear, and Half Pig (or some variance and combination of these. MIT researchers are currently working on it.) He must super-cerealisy be stopped, before he can... erm... I'm sorry Mr. Gore, what is it that ManBearPig does that is so bad for society.
+
*'''Wendy Testaburger''' - Hippie douche who cheats on Stan with anyone with a cock as Stan had his chopped off by [[Pedobear]].
   
 
==Famous South Parks==
 
==Famous South Parks==

Revision as of 20:25, October 21, 2009

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SouthParkHD

Welcome to the Mad House

Bouncywikilogo
For those who aren't going down to Uncyclopedia, not gonna have themselves a time; Wikipedia has a boring article about South Park .
“I hereby declare this day, Matt Stone and Trey Parker day for teaching me that my eyesight fools me and the world is really made of construction paper.”
~ George W. Bush on July 4, 2002
“I eat construction paper and crap this.”
~ Oscar Wilde on South Park

South Park is an American animated soap-opera television series created by a pair of closeted sociopaths named Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Originally intended for children, the show unexpectedly gained a large following from Adult audiences, and has since become infamous for the sophistication of its humour, as well as its sharp, biting satire focused on a diverse range of targets, although more often than not, aims at celebrities who need to shut up and Liberals.

The ongoing narrative has been lauded by many for being highly complex and difficult to follow if you have not seen any earlier episodes, unlike South Park arch-enemy #1 Family Guy, and revolves around the adventures of four extremely average children- Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick- and the melodramatic events of their lives as they grow up in the small, quiet, peaceful mountain town of South Park, Colorado.

Origins and Creation

Parker and Stone developed the show from two animated shorts they created in 1992 and 1995, attempting to create one of the first internet viral videos. Unfortunately, no-one bothered to use Youtube back then, due to dial-up internet connection being the highest speed available. Many people would have perished from starvation if they waited for the the video to stop buffering, and so it was seen by barely anyone. However, leading actor George Clooney, being as fat and lazy as he is, managed to sit through the entire video loading up, surviving off a 24-pack of Cheetos and the blubber stored up in his own body. After finally watching it, he was greatly impressed and burned several copies onto CD and sent them to several Network Executives, most of them being the ones he hooked up with when he was in ER.

At first, 20th Century Fox was approached to broadcast South Park, but they refused adamantly, stating that:

  • A: They would not air a television show with so many similarities to The Simpsons.
  • B: They would not air a television show that was so vulgar and crude, relying heavily on toilet humour and racism.

After heavily rejecting South Park, Fox then immediately went on to acquire the highly original and sophisticated animated TV show Family Guy. Fortunately, the much less classier network, Comedy Central, agreed to pick up the rights to South Park and began airing it on August 13, 1997 to great success, consistently earning the highest ratings of any basic cable program.

Premise

Setting

“I have no idea where this road will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange!”
~ FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper on the main road into South Park

South Park is a small town located within the South Park Basin in the Rocky Mountains of central Colorado. The town, sometimes described in song as a "Pissant, Whitebread, Redneck, Trailer Trash, Mountain Town", has been described by tourists and residents alike as having a peaceful and spiritual quality of life; no doubt in part from being twinned with the nearby town of Silent Hill. Unlike most isolated rural communities (See Deliverance), South Park contains a highly diverse range of cultures and ethnicities, including Jews, Blacks, Deers, Koreans, Peruvian Flute Bands, Chinese, Aliens, Crab People, Vampires, Goths, Canadians, Vampire-Goths, Indians-I mean, Native Americans, and most importantly, good old-fashioned White People. A full list containing all of the population's names and their corresponding ethnic background can be found in South Park resident Eric Cartman's school project paper, Mein Kampf gegen die Juden.

Themes and Style

Each episode opens with a tongue-in-cheek disclaimer:

Warning: This program may cause severe mental retardation if you have no life and enjoy writing complaints to the Parent Television Council. If this applies to you, it is recommended that you turn the TV off and deny having ever watched this channel before.

Most episodes revolve around a plot serving as a parable for religion, politics and numerous other topics. Although it has been criticised by many high-art critics that this is not entirely evident till the end, with one of the characters using the "You know what? I've Learned something today..." speech in order to tie together what before seemed like a random collection of toilet humour gags, slapstick violence, vulgar insults, racism, sexism and downright disregard for human life into a profound message preaching about how we must change for the better in society.

Many of the attitudes and values of the show stem directly from the creators themselves. Adults in South Park are often portrayed as gullible, irrational, and prone to having distorted views on morality. Matt Stone and Trey Parker both use Kyle and Stan as their representative characters in South Park. However, due to both Matt and Trey being complete Psychopaths with a total lack of empathy, they identify more with the character of Cartman, and through him express their prejudice and hatred for anything remotely Human. They then attempt to justify their evil doings by having Stan and Kyle frown upon Cartman and express their disapproval, often saying "You shouldn't say that, man. That's not cool." Because of this, Matt and Trey manage to narrowly escape being convicted of inciting Hatred every single episode.

Characters

Stan Marsh

Stan Marsh is arguably the de' facto leader of the group. He is noticeable for always wearing a puff ball hat and instinctively vomiting whenever he is sexually aroused (usually around Kenny). Although his exact placing is unknown, it is highly reasonable that he is quite high up on Cartman's list of South Park residents to be sent to the gas chamber.

Kyle Broflovski

Kyle Broflovski Or Brovlowsky... or is it Brovlovski... ski or sky? Anyway, he is the token Jew of the group, despite secretely worshipping the secondary Pagan god of Christmas, Mr. Hankey. He always wears a green hat, that if you squint your eyes really hard it looks like a dragon with a wig on. Kyle even earns his own special category as "Dirty jew #1" on Eric Cartman's list of South Park residents to kill.

Eric Cartman

Cheney4-718971

Eric Cartman

File:Kennyfemale.jpg

Eric Theodore Cartman is one of the breakout character of South Park and is a cult favorite. He is a fat, spoilt, racist, foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, ill-tempered and prejudiced fourth-grader living with his hermaphrodite, crack-smoking single mother/father. Many psychologists and school counsellors such as Freud and Mr. Mackey have expressed puzzlement as to where his personality disorders stem from.

Eric is notable for his hatred of any ethnicity or subculture that he is not a part of, giving special attention to the Jews and hippies. Fuelled by this rage, Cartman has proved himself a master tactician and a cunning genius when it comes to abusing people and tricking his classmates into doing his bidding as the Neo-Fuehrer. Cartman has received high critical praise for his character development, with many expert university professors and scholars highlighting the Shakespearian overtones of his character, in that during his quest to eradicate the world of the Jews, he has become one himself, going at great lengths to hoard any possessions or objects Kyle may want, as well as having a single-minded goal of owning $1 Million.

It has also been debated by leading Psychiatrists (mostly Freud) as to whether Cartman's intense hatred and urge to kill Kyle are mainly the result of misplaced Sexual Attraction. Much like the Oedipal complex, Cartman's feelings are so strong, yet he has been raised by society in a way that he may not understand them, that he believes he wants to kill Kyle rather than have sex with him. On several occasions Cartman has attempted to elicit sexual interaction from Kyle, at one point spending 3 back to back episodes trying to get Kyle to orally imbibe his scrotum and pubical sack.

Kenny McCormick

Kenny McCormick is the token-working class kid who is so poor that his main diet consists of pancake waffles with no condiments, yet somehow managed to buy a Sony PSP. He resides with his family in the Ghetto, and is subject to the usual harrasments and insults that society can offer. Kenny is often regarded by the upper-class people in South Park as being America's worst nightmare, raised in a run-down house with three generations of hopelessness, poverty, and profanity. At the beginning of the Series, Kenny was the main focal point of the plot, with each episode revolving around "who killed Kenny?" It is revealed 0.75 seconds after the mysterious murder (on average) that "They" did it. They are then punished by being called "Bastards", and for the rest of the episode the surviving characters set out to solve the subplot.

After six Seasons and roughly 843 deaths, Kenny decided to take a break from being viciously mutilated and stayed dead. After a nice holiday in hell, partying with Princess Diana and Ghandi, he then returned with demonic superpowers that enabled him to stay alive for almost as long as the rest of the boys could.

Secondary Characters

Chef-hayes

Former resident of South Park; we do not speak his name.

  • Aunt Flow: Aunt Flow is the sister of Stan Marsh's mother. According to Stan's father, Randy, Aunt Flow visits once a month for a period of 4-5 days, during which time Stan's mother is easily irritated, makes unreasonable demands, forces Randy to sleep on the couch, and is basically the cause of much unhappiness for all members of the family.
  • Bebe Stevens - Basically, the fourth grade's resident slut with huge boobs. Clyde is her pimp.
  • Butters - Real name: Leopold Stotch (not scotch, dumbass). He is generally everyone's bitch by everyone's consent except his own. He enjoys playing with toy cars when not being smacked around or tricked into having sex by Cartman. After he was fired as as Kenny's replacment he became Professor Choas and went on a mass-murder spree around South Park.
  • Clyde Donovan - The fat kid whenever Cartman is absent. Bebe's pimp.
  • Heidi Turner, Anne Polk, Millie, Red etc - Background girls that do jack all. Giggle a lot and bitch about people.
  • Ike - Also referred to by Cartman as "Kike", he is Kyle's little brother who was adopted from Canada. Due to his heritage, his head resembles something similar to Weebl and Bob.
  • Jimmy - T...T...To...ken cri... cri...ple #... #...2 (see Timmy). Comedian and member of the Cri... Cri... Cri..ps.
  • ManBearPig - A mythological creature comprising Half Man, Half Bear, and Half Pig (or some variance and combination of these. MIT researchers are currently working on it.) He must super-cerealisy be stopped, before he can... erm... I'm sorry Mr. Gore, what is it that ManBearPig does that is so bad for society.
  • Mr./Mrs. Garrison - Oh SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! She teaches the children all about world cultures and practices, such as Filthy Sanchez and the Hot Karl. AMBIGUOUSLY STRAIGHT, then AMBIGUOUSLY GAY, then VERY GAY, then TRANSSEXUAL, then GAY AGAIN. Now is female and STRAIGHT, Then LESBIAN, and then BECOMES A MAN WHOSE SEXUALITY IS UNKNOWN. She/He... erm... It enjoys baking, pissing sitting down and strutting. It had sex with its dad and has a gay slave. Man. What a fucked up but funny guy, girl....thing.
  • Mr. Hankey - Walking, talking piece of Christmas-poo that lives in the sewers underneath South Park. Hooooooowdy ho kids!!! Is often seen crawling along children's faces at night on Christmas Eve.
  • Mr. Mackey - Now, Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay! Uncyclopedia doesn't have real information, M'Kay. And doesn't expand your mind, M'Kay... Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay...
  • Mr. Slave - "Oh Jevuth Chrifft!" He is Mr. Garrison's boyfriend; and in school, the teacher's assistant (aka the teacher's ass). He breaks up with Garrison after the sex-change operation, and is currently married to Big Gay Al.
  • Mrs. Cartman - A bubbly-voiced, promiscuous crack whore who wears a poofy-neck sweater typical of 70s design and a red skirt
  • Phillip - A dick-faced cock master, according to his comedic counterpart, Terrence.
  • Pip - The British kid of the school who is often degraded by Cartman for being "a French piece of crap".
  • Randy - Stan's dad, and part time moronic role-model. Like all fathers, he enjoys getting getting hammered and then fighting at Little League Softball games, Overreacting to any potentially destructive event to threaten South Park, and Internet Pornography.
  • Terrance - A donkey raping shit-eater, according to his comedic counterpart, Phillip.
  • Timmy - The token cripple along with Jimmy...He enjoys playing Wheelchair Wars and shouting TIMMMMMAYYYYY!!!! He has Attention Deficit Disorder, contrary to Public Opinion in South Park.
  • Token - The only black-skinned kid in South Park. From the way he acts, though, he seems as white as Whitney Houston's nostrils on a Saturday night. And the way he has lots of money and advertises it would bring to mind more comparison to the Jews than Kyle.
  • Tom Cruise - Contrary to popular belief, Tom Cruise will come out of the closet; but only as long as he can take it with him.
  • Towelie - A towel originally designed by aliens to dehydrate the people of Earth, he prefers instead to sit around and get high, like all anthropomorphic towels. He also reminds kids to bring towel with them wherever they go. When told that such advice is useless, he'll stubbornly attempt to refute the statement by saying 'it IS useful'. If they contradict him, he'll continue to say 'yes it is!' until the conversation hopelessly ends at some point. This character's punch-line is actually a subtle reference to the need for towels on the Vogon space ship in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy movie series by Douglas Adams, where towels served as shields against the aliens' weapons. He will ask attending third party by-passers who might happen to be in the same room if they wish to get high. If they refuse, he'll say 'You sure?', ultimately producing a minimally awkward moment. If they refuse a second time, he'll wander away.
  • Tweek - A coffee addict who fears Coffee. He was lucky enough to replace Kenny after he died and went on vacation in Hell.
  • Wendy Testaburger - Hippie douche who cheats on Stan with anyone with a cock as Stan had his chopped off by Pedobear.

Famous South Parks

Msgarrison 1152622285

Mr. Mrs. Mr. Garrison, another citizen of a South Park. (shown here as a female in the early 1980s)

The most famous of all 'South Parks' is in Coyoteefields Texas, officially named Coyoteefields Texas Inner City Children's Playground and Green Area, where famous actor and one time MC John Frederick Kennedy was killed by a gum nut falling off the top of a large oak tree. Due to the fact that JFK was killed immediately after an illicit encounter with a female orangutan, a large scale CIA cover up was arranged by the people of Nashville, in which a dummy dressed like a hobo was shot in the head by a deranged lunatic, and then a couple of times more by deranged conspiracy theorizers to make sure.


Another famous South Park is located in Frankfurt, Germany. Named Lunkensburg after the famous Edward Lunken who owned a large castle on the site. The Lunken castle was razed to the ground by tax officials, who decided enough was enough and stepped in to stop Lunken's constant tax evasion. Lunken fled Germany and became a pirate on the pacific ocean, and is now renowned as a local hero in his town of birth.

A less significant south park, resides in the mountains of Colorado. Some unpopular animated children's television show was based in this town, but it sucked and lost all of its viewers to the amazingly popular the Teletubbies. Before being cancelled and all copies of its episodes sent to the planet of the apes, it was characterized by its well-researched, thought-provoking, unambivalent, and morally non-retarded take on the events of the day. Despite this handicap, it did receive an award for Best Children's Animated Series from the International Parents' Society in 1998.

There is a South Park in Los Angeles. That said, don't go there unless you wanna get capped in yo ass.

If you live in a world where the fate of humans can be determined by a PSP game, little boys can die and come back each episode you might be living in a South Park.

History

South Park has been around since the early 1970s. Nobody watched it back then because it would have been very unsuitable for network television back then, but trust me, it was around then. Back then Eric Cartman was known as Moses, Stan was Noah, Kenny was Hitler (Nobody liked him), and Kyle was Jesus (pronounced hay-zoos). If you dont believe this then ask your mother. The episodes back then were more meaningful, and had to do with buttons. The script was printed out, and it became known as the bible.

Trivia

Steveirwini

Steve Irwin stinging his heart out at Satan's Sweet 16 party.

Cheneypark

South Park's bashing of supervillain Dick Cheney.

  • Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman are TeH Ub3R PwnZ0R in the anachronistic computer game World Of Warcraft.
  • Fans of the show enjoy that the show has moved beyond being just toilet humor and is now just Trey Parker's platform for espousing his Libertarian beliefs.
  • Tom Cruise once attempted to use his evil powers to remove South Park from the planet, but failed after being encased in Carbonite by Oprah Winfrey.
  • He is also still in the closet.
  • So is R. Kelly.
  • There is no north in South Park; all directions are south. If you attempt to walk northwards, you will create an instability in the time-space continuum and enter a mirror universe. If you survive, you will end up in North Park, but the chances of surviving such an iuuuuuuuuuuncident depend on the time of year and the atmospheric conditions.
  • George W. Bush watches South Park on Tivo, because it is aired past his bedtime.
  • Sexual Harassment Panda had an abusive childhood. He has since forgotten about the traumatic incidents, and also forgotten that he is a human in a panda suit. If anyone attempts to remove his suit or convince him he's human, he becomes hysterical and sometimes violent.
  • In a 1980 episode Eric Cartman killed all the hippies in his basement by peeing in their bong.
  • [[Jesusresides in South Park, Colorado.
  • Tom Cruise STILL wont come out of the closet.
  • Satan used to have a gay relationship with Saddam Hussein but they broke up in "South Park-The Movie"
  • Satan's new boyfriend is Nicholas Cage.

Exteral links

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