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- Please do not confuse with Rumania.
|This article is of a duplicate subject/concept as Canada.|
|Slang Dictionary| (useful if you`re visiting Romania)
Manelist = A special breed of romanian built to withstand even the most horrific sounds , that he himself can make , they are often used at parties to calm down violent drunkmen from breaking things. Be aware that in order not to harm other guests money must be thrown to make the beast stop.
Curva = a select social category, mainly formed of women and high-school girls, that are organized in a sort of secret society, that have the insidious goal of killing the male population through intense sexual activity. A derived word of the curva, is tarfa, the difference being that a curva will have sex with anybody, but a tarfa will have sex with anybody but you.
naspa=this word has actually no meaning, but vaguely evil and bad. It's beyond adjectives or nouns, it can even be a verb is the speaker is drunk enough. Naspa can be used in any situation. Your dog dies "naspa", your grandmother is on fire "naspa", you lost a penny "really naspa".
lol=It's not actually a romanian word but young teens keep on using it. It is extremely uncool to actually laugh about a joke , you just politely say lol and nod with a serious look. Tracing the word back to it's roots is hard, but it seems to be most present in the deep waters of the mIRC and it is extremely popular among young teens who don't have a life but are seaching for one on the internet.
manca-ti-as = a special word used to describe many attitudes and various thoughts in Romanian language. Usually, it is followed by an anatomic part of the human body. Examples: "manca-ti-as pula, coaiele....", etc. This word does not express hunger, in most cases, but you can never be too sure, as the Romanians have a very healthy appetite for everything that can be put in the mouth (especially women).
bengos = a word used to describe something cool. In Romanian language anything good can be bengos. You bought a new pair of jeans, they are "bengosi", you go to a club - it's bengos. It is the opposite of "naspa" and can be use even for describing a person: "a bengos ass", "bengoase breasts" and so on.
|National motto: Vom fi liberi!("We will be free!") )|
(Head of State)
| Prime Minister |
(Head of Government)
| National Heroes |
|Bula, Mihai the Brave, Stefan the Great, Vlad the Impaler and Alexandru Ioan Cuza|
| Independence ||Not recognised by the Moldova Empire|
|Currency|| Leu |
(please note 1 new Leu = 10.000 old Lei; 1 new Leu = 100 Bani) see 
| National anthem||"Desteapta-te, romane!" by Andrei Muresan|
| National Holliday||The Floods|
Main Article: Geography of Romania
Romania Romania is situated in Central Europe, in the northern part of the Balkan peninsula and its territory is marked by the Carpathian Mountains, the Danube and the Black Sea. With its temperate climate and varied natural environment, which is favourable to life, the Romanian territory has been inhabited since time immemorial. The research done by Romanian archaeologists at Bugiulesti, Valcea Country, has led to the discovery of traces of human presence dating back as early as the Lower Palaeolithic (approximately two million years BC). These vestiges are among the oldest in Europe, revealing a period when 'man,' a humanoid in fact, went physically and spiritually through the stages of his coming out of the animal status. A denser human population, ('the Neanderthal man') can be proved to have lived about 100,000 years ago; a relatively stable population can only be found beginning with the Neolithic (6-5,000 years BC).
At the time, the population on the territory of present-day Romania created a remarkable culture, whose proof is the polychrome pottery of the 'Cucuteni' culture (comparable to the pottery of other important European cultures of the time in the Eastern Mediterranean and the Middle East) and the statuettes of the 'Hamangia' culture (the Thinker of Hamangia is known today to the whole world. Trajan's Column erected in Rome and the Triumphal Monument at Adamclisi (Dobrudja) tell the story of this military effort, which was followed by a systematic and massive colonisation of the new territories that were integrated into the empire. The Dacians, although they had suffered heavy casuals, remained, even after the new rule was established, the main ethnic element in Dacia; the province was subjected to a complex Romanization process, its basic element being the staged but definitive adoption of the Latin language. The Romanians are today the only descendants of the Eastern Roman stock; the Romanian language is one of the major heirs of the Latin language, together with French, Italian, Spanish; Romania is an oasis of Latinity in this part of Europe.
The birth certificate of the Romanian people
The natives, be they of Roman or Daco-Roman descent, continued their uninterrupted existence as farmers and shepherds even after the withdrawal, under emperor Aurelian (270-275) of the Roman army and administration, which were moved south of the Danube. But the ancestors of the Romanians remained for several centuries in the political, economic, religious and cultural sphere of influence of the Roman Empire; after the empire split in 395 AD, they stayed in the sphere of the Byzantine Empire. They lived mostly in the old Roman hearts that had now decayed and survived in difficult circumstances under successive waves of migratory tribes. At the time when the Daco-Roman ethno-cultural symbiosis was achieved and finalised in the 6-7th centuries by the formation of the Romanian people, in the 2-4th centuries, the Daco-Romans adopted Christianity in a Latin garb. Therefore, in the 6-7th centuries, when the formation process of the Romanian people was done, this nation emerged in history as a Christian one. This is why, unlike the neighbouring nations, which have established dates of Christianization (the Bulgarians - 865, the Serbs - 874, the Poles-966, the eastern Slavs - 988, the Hungarians - the year 1000), the Romanians do not have a fixed date of Christianization, as they were the first Christian nation in the region. In the 4-13th centuries the Romanian people had to face the waves of migrating peoples - the Getae, the Huns, the Gepidae, the Avars, the Slavs, the Petchenegs, the Cumanians, the Tartars - who crossed the Romanian territory. The migratory tribes controlled this space from the military and political points of view, delaying the economic and social development of the natives and the formation of local statehood entities.
The Slavs, who massively settled since the 7th century south of the Danube, split the compact mass of Romanians in the Carpathian-Danubian area: the ones to the north (the Daco-Romanians) were separated from the ones to the south, who were moved towards the west and Southeast of the Balkan Peninsula (Aromanians, Megleno-Romanians and Istro-Romanians). The Slavs that settled north of the Danube were assimilated little by little by the Romanian people and their language left traces in the vocabulary and phonetics of the Romanian language. To the Romanian language, the Slavic language (similarly to the Germanic idiom of the Franks with the French people) was the so-called super-imposed layer. The Romanians belonged to the Orthodox religion so they adopted the Old Church Slavic as a cult language, and, beginning with the 14-16th centuries, as a chancery and culture language. The Slavic language was never a living language, spoken by the people, on the territory of Romania; it played for Romanians, at a certain time during the Middle Ages, the same role that Latin played in the West; in the early modern age it was replaced for ever, in church, chancery and culture included, by the Romanian language. Owing to their position, the Romanians south of the Danube were the first to be mentioned in historical sources (the 10th century), under the name of vlahi or blahi (Wallachians); this name shows they were speakers of a Romance language and that the non-Roman peoples around them recognised this fact. After the year 602, the Slavs massively settled south of the Danube and they established a powerful Bulgarian czardom in the 9th century; this, cut the tie between the Romanian world north of the Danube and the one south of the Danube. As they were subjected to all sorts of pressures and isolated from the powerful Romanian trunk north of the Danube, the number of Romanians south of the Danube continuously decreased, while their brothers north of the Danube, although living in extremely difficult circumstances, continued their historical evolution as a separate nation, the farthest one to the east among the descendants of Imperial Rome.
In fact the Romanians are the only ones who, through their very name - roman - (coming from the Latin word 'Roman') - have preserved to this day in this part of Europe the seal of the ancestors, of their descent, that they have always been aware of. This will show later in the name of the nation state - Romania. Beginning with the 10th century, the Byzantine, Slav and Hungarian sources, and later on the western sources mention the existence of statehood entities of the Romanian population - kniezates and voivodates - first in Transylvania and Dobrudja, then in the 12-13th centuries, also in the lands east and south of the Carpathians. A specific trait of the Romanian's history from the Middle Ages until the modern times is that they lived in three Principalities that were neighbours, but autonomous - Wallachia, Moldavia and Transylvania. This phenomenon - which is by no means unique in Mediaeval Europe - is extremely complex. The underlying causes pertain to the essence of the feudal society, but there are also specific factors. Among the latter, we wish to mention the existence of powerful neighbouring empires, which opposed the unification of the Romanian state entities and even occupied - for shorter or longer periods of time - Romanian territories. For instance, to the west the Romanians had to face the policy of conquests conducted by the Hungarian kingdom. In 895, the Hungarian tribes, who came from the Volga lands, led by Arpad, settled in Pannonia. They were stopped in their progress towards the west by emperor Otto I (995) so the Hungarians settled down and turned their eyes to the south-east and east. There they encountered the Romanians. A Hungarian chronicle describes the meeting between the messengers sent by Arpad, the Hungarian king, and voivode Menumorut of the Biharea city in western Transylvania. The Hungarian ambassadors demanded that the territory be handed over to them. The chronicle has preserved for us the dignified answer given by Menumorut: 'Tell Arpad, the Duke of Hungary, your ruler. Verily we owe him, as a friend to a friend, to give him all that is necessary because he is a foreigner and a stranger and lacks many. But the land that he has demanded from our good will we shall never give to him, as long as we are alive'.
Despite the resistance of the Romanian kniezates and voivodates, the Hungarians succeeded in the 10-13th centuries to occupy Transylvania and make it part of the Hungarian kingdom (until the beginning of the 16th century as an autonomous voivodate.) In order to consolidate their power in Transylvania, where the Romanians continued to be, over the centuries, the great majority ethnic element, as well as to defend the southern and eastern borders of the voivodate, the Hungarian crown resorted to the colonisation of Szecklers and Germans (Saxons) in the 12-13th centuries in the frontier areas.
In the 14th century, with the decline of the neighbouring imperial powers (the Poles, the Hungarians, the Tartars), south and east of the Carpathian Mountains range the autonomous feudal states were formed: Wallachia, under Basarab I (around 1310) and Moldavia, under Bogdan I (around 1359). The Polish and Hungarian kingdoms attempted in the 14-15th centuries to annex or subordinate the two principalities, but they did not succeed. In the second half of the 14th century a new threat against the Romanian lands emerged: the Ottoman Empire. After first setting foot on European soil in 1354, the Ottoman Turks began their rapid expansion on the continent, so the green banner of the Islam already flew south of the Danube in 1396. Alone or in alliance with the neighbouring Christian countries, more often in alliance with the neighbouring voivodes of the other two Romanian principalities, the voivodes of Wallachia Mircea the Old (1386-1418) and Vlad the Impeller (Dracula of the Mediaeval legends, 1456-1462), with Stephen the Great and Holy (1457-1504), the voivode of Moldavia and Iancu of Hunedoara, the voivode of Transylvania (1441-1456) fought heavy defence battles against the Ottoman Turks, delaying their expansion to Central Europe.
Voivodes:Mircea the Old, Voivode of Wallachia (1386-1418) Vlad the Impeller, Voivode of Wallachia(Dracula of the Medieval legends, 1456-1462), Stephen the Great and Holy, Voivode of Moldavia (1457-1504)
The whole Balkan Peninsula became a Turkish-ruled territory, Constantinople was captured by Mohammed II (1453), Suleiman the Magnificent captured the city of Belgrade (1521), and the Hungarian kingdom disappeared following the battle of Mohacs (1526). Therefore, Wallachia and Moldavia were surrounded and they had to recognise for over three centuries the suzerainty of the Ottoman Empire. After Buda was captured and Hungary became a pashalik, Transylvania became a selfruling principality (1541) and it, too, recognised the suzerainty of the Ottoman Empire, as the other two Romanian lands. Unlike all the other peoples of south-east Europe, unlike the Hungarians and the Poles, the Romanians were the only ones who maintained their state entity during the Middle Ages, along with their own political, military and administrative structures. The tribute paid to the sultan was the guarantee for the preservation of domestic autonomy, but also for the protection against more powerful enemies. Wallachia and Moldavia, owing to their autonomy status, continued after the fall of the Byzantine Empire to foster their Byzantine cultural traditions, taking at the same time upon themselves to protect the Eastern Orthodox religion; on their territory, scholars from all over the Balkan Peninsula, chased away by the intolerant Islam, were able to continue their work without any obstacles; they prepared the cultural revival of their nations. The end of the 16th century was dominated by the personality of Michael the Brave. He became voivode of Wallachia in 1593, joined the Christian League - an anti-Ottoman coalition initiated by the Papacy and the Holy Roman Empire and he succeeded, following heavy battles (Calugareni, Giurgiu) to actually regain the independence of his country. In 1599-1600 he united for the first time in history all the territories inhabited by Romanians, proclaiming himself 'prince of Wallachia, Transylvania and the whole of Moldavia.' The domestic situation was very complex, the neighbouring great-powers - the Ottoman Empire, Poland, the Hapsburg Empire - were hostile and joined forces to overthrow him; so this union was short-lived as Michael the Brave was assassinated in 1601. The union achieved by the valiant voivode became, however, a symbol to the posterity. In the 17th century, in various forms and with evanescent success, other princes attempted to restart the ambitious political program of Michael the Brave, by trying to form a united anti-Ottoman front, made-up of the three principalities and to restore the unity of ancient Dacia. Michael the Brave (1593-1601) united first the three Romanian lands.
The end of the 17th century and the beginning of the 18th century brought about changes in the politics of Central and Eastern Europe. The Ottoman Empire failed to capture Vienna in 1683 and following that, the Hapsburg Empire began its expansion to the south-east of Europe. The Austrian-Turkish peace treaty of Karlowitz (1699) sanctioned the annexation of Transylvania and its organisation as an autonomous principality to Hapsburg Austria (since 1765 great principality), ruled by a governor. Poland was divided and Russia, by successive conquests, reached under Peter the Great (1696-1725) the Dniester river, thus becoming Moldavia's eastern neighbour. The ambitious dream of the czars to dominate the Bosporus strait and Constantinople placed the Romanian Principalities in the way of Russian expansionism. The Ottoman Empire, in an attempt to defend its old position, introduced in Moldavia (1711) and Wallachia (1716) the Phanariot regime, (until 1821), under which the Sublime Porte appointed in the two principalities Greek voivodes recruited from the Phanar district of Istanbul and considered faithful to the Turks. That was a time when the Ottoman political control and economic exploitation increased and corruption spread; but some social reforms were also introduced - such as the abolition of serfdom - as well as administrative and modernising reforms, modelled on the European ones in the age of the Enlightenment. The domestic autonomy, although limited, was basically preserved and the two principalities continued to be distinct entities from the Ottoman Empire; this situation was recognised in several international treaties (for instance that of Kuchuk-Kainargi, 1774). Lying at the borders of three great empires and wanted by all three of them, Wallachia and Moldavia became for over 150 years not only territories of contention but also a battlefield on which the armies of the empires fought each other.
Many wars were fought by Austria and Russia against the Ottoman Empire (1710-1711, 1716-1718, 1735-1739, 1768-1774, 1787-1792, 1806-1812, 1828-1829, 1853-1856): those battles took place on Romanian soil, always accompanied by a foreign military occupation, which was often maintained long after the war proper was over, so the Romanian lands endured not only through devastation and irrecoverable losses but also through population displacements and painful territory amputations. So, Austria temporarily annexed Oltenia (1718-1793) and Northern Moldavia that they called Bukovina (1775-1918). Following the Russian-Turkish war of 1806-1812, Russia annexed the eastern part of Moldavia, the land between the Prut and Dniester rivers, later called Bessarabia (1812-1918).
National Revivial, Union and Independence. In the 18th and early 19th centuries huge economic and social changes took place, the feudal structures were deeply eroded, the first capitalist enterprises emerged and at the same time Romanian goods were attracted step by step into the European circuit. The national idea, as everywhere else in Europe, was becoming the soaring dream of intellectuals and the underlying element in the plans for the future made by the politicians. The union of part of the clergy in Transylvania with the Catholic Church (the Greek- Catholics), achieved by the House of Hapsburg in 1699-1701, played an important part in the emancipation of Transylvanian Romanians. Their fight for equal rights with the other ethnic groups (although the Romanians accounted for over 60% of the principate's population, they were still considered 'tolerated' in their own country) was begun by Bishop Inocentiu Micu-Klein and continued by the intellectuals grouped in the 'Transylvanian School' movement: Gheorghe Sincai, Petru Maior, Samuil Micu, Ion Budai-Deleanu, a.o. These scholars proved the Latinity of the Romanian language and people and, even more, the fact that they had uninterruptedly been the autochthonous population here. By virtue of this ancients, they demanded equal rights with the other 'nations' in Transylvania - Hungarians, Szecklers and Saxons. The claims of the Romanians in Transylvania were submitted to the Court of Vienna in the long petition called Supplex Libellus Valachorum (1791), which did not receive any answer.
Tudor Vladimirescu, leader of the 1821 Romanian Revolution. The quest for renewal in Wallachia was expressed in the revolution led by Tudor Vladimirescu (1821), which broke out at the same time with the Greek's movement for liberation. Although the Ottoman and Czarist troops occupied the Danube principalities that same year, the sacrifices made by the Romanians brought about the abolition of the Phanariot regime and native voivodes were again appointed on the thrones of Moldavia and Wallachia. The peace treaty of 1829 signed at Adrianople (today Edirne) ended the Russian-Turkish conflict of 1828-1829, which had broken out in the final stage of the war for national liberation fought by the Greeks; this treaty greatly weakened the Ottoman suzerainty, but it increased Russia's 'protectorate.' Now that trade was freed, Romanian cereals began to penetrate European markets. Under Pavel Kiseleff, the commander of the Russian troops that occupied the two Romanian principalities (1828-1834), quasi-identical Organic Regulations were introduced in Wallachia (1831) and Moldavia (1832); until 1859 these Regulations served as fundamental laws (constitutions) and they contributed to the modernisation and homogenisation of the social, economic, administrative and political structures that had started in the preceding decades. Therefore, in the first half of the 19th century, the Romanian principalities began to distance themselves from the Oriental Ottoman world and tune into the spiritual space of Western Europe. Ideas, currents, attitudes from the West were more than welcome in the Romanian world, which was undergoing an irreversible process of modernisation. Now the awareness that all Romanians belong to the same nation was generalised and the union into one single independent state became the ideal of all Romanians.
Nicolae Balcescu, one of the 1848 revolution leaders Union and Independence. The winds of 1848 also blew over the Romanian principalities. They brought to the centre-stage of politics several brilliant intellectuals such as Ion Heliade Radulescu, Nicolae Balcescu, Mihail Kogalniceanu, Simion Barnutiu, Avram Iancu and others. In Moldavia the unrest was quickly cracked down on, but in Wallachia the revolutionaries actually governed the country in June-September 1848. In Transylvania the revolution was prolonged until as late as 1849. There, the Hungarian leaders refused to take into account the claims of the Romanians and they resolved to annex Transylvania to Hungary; this led to a split of the revolutionary forces between the Hungarians and the Romanians. The Hungarian government of Kossuth Lajos attempted to crack down on the fight of the Romanians, but he encountered the resolute armed resistance of the Romanians in the Apuseni Mountains, under the leadership of Avram Iancu. Alexandru Ioan Cuza (1859-1866), was the Voivove of the United Principalities. Although the brutal intervention of the Ottoman, Czarist and Habsburg armies was successful in 1848-1849, the renewal tide favouring democratic ideas spread everywhere in the next decade. Russia was defeated in the Crimean War (1853-1856) and this called into question again the fragile European balance. Owing to their strategic position at the mouth of the Danube, as this waterway was becoming increasingly important to European communications, the status of the Danube principalities became a European issue at the peace Congress in Paris (February-March 1856). Wallachia and Moldavia were still under Ottoman suzerainty, but now they were placed under the collective guarantee of the seven powers that signed the Paris peace treaty; these powers decided then that local assemblies be convened to decide on the future organisation of the two principalities. The Treaty of Paris also stipulated: the retrocession to Moldavia of Southern Bessarabia, which had been annexed in 1812 by Russia (the Cahul, Bolgrad and Ismail counties); freedom of sailing on the Danube; the establishment of the European Commission of the Danube; the neutral status of the Black Sea. In 1857 the 'Ad-hoc assemblies' convened in Bucharest and Iasi under the provisions of the Paris Peace Congress of 1856; all social categories participated and these assemblies unanimously decided to unite the two principalities into one single state. French emperor Napoleon III supported this, the Ottoman Empire and Austria were against, so a new conference of the seven protector powers was called in Paris (May-August 1858); there, only a few of the Romanians' claims were approved. But the Romanians elected on January 5/17, 1859 in Moldavia and on January 24/February 5, 1859 in Wallachia Colonel Alexandru Ioan Cuza as their unique prince, achieving de facto the union of the two principalities. The Romanian nation state took on January 24/February 5, 1862 the name of Romania and settled its capital in Bucharest. Assisted by Mihail Kogalniceanu, his closest adviser, Alexandru Ioan Cuza initiated a reform programme, which contributed to the modernisation of the Romanian society and state structures: the law to secularise monastery assets (1863), the land reform, providing for the liberation of the peasants from the burden of feudal duties and the granting of land to them (1864), the Penal Code law, the Civilian Code law (1864), the education law, under which primary school became tuitionfree and compulsory (1864), the establishment of universities in Iasi (1860) and Bucharest (1864), a.o. After the abdication of Alexandru Ioan Cuza (1866), Carol of Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen, a relative of the royal family of Prussia, who was supported by Napoleon III and Bismark, was proclaimed on May 10, 1866, following a plebiscite, ruling prince of Romania, with the name of Carol I. The new Constitution (inspired from the Belgian one of 1831), which was promulgated in 1866 and was in use until 1923, proclaimed Romania a constitutional monarchy. In the next decade the struggle of the Romanians to achieve full state independence was part of the movements that took place with other peoples in the south-east of Europe - Serbs, Hungarians, Montenegrins, Bulgarians, Albanians - to cut off their last ties to the Ottoman Empire. Within a favourable international framework - in 1875 the Oriental crisis broke out again and the Russo-Turkish war started in April 1877 - Romania declared its full state independence on May 9/21, 1877. The government led by Ion C. Bratianu, in which Mihail Kogalniceanu served as Foreign Minister, decided, upon the Russian request for assistance, to join the Russian forces that were operative in Bulgaria. A Romanian army, under the personal command of Prince Carol I, crossed the Danube and participated in the siege of Pleven; the result was the surrender of the Ottoman army led by Osman Pasha (December 10, 1877). The independence of Romania, similarly to that Serbia and Montenegro, as well as the union of Dobrudja with Romania were recognised in the Russian-Turkish peace treaty of San Stefano (March 3, 1878). Upon the insistence of the great powers, an international peace Congress was held in Berlin (June-July 1878), which acknowledged and maintained the status that Romania had proclaimed by herself more than a year before; it also re-established, after a long period of Ottoman rule, Romania's rights over Dobrudja, which was re-united to Romania. But at the same time Russia violated the convention signed on April 4, 1877 and forced Romania to cede the Cahul, Bolgrad and Ismail counties of Southern Bessarabia. On March 14/26, 1881, Romania proclaimed itself a kingdom and Carol I of Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen was crowned King of Romania. After gaining its independence, the Romania state was the place to which the hopeful eyes of all Romanians who lived on the lands still under foreign occupation turned. The Romanians in Bukovina and in Bessarabia were facing a systematic policy of assimilation into the German and Russian worlds, respectively. Immigration of foreign peoples was directed to their territory. The Romanian enclaves in the Balkan Peninsula had increasing difficulties in opposing the denationalisation tendencies. At the turn of the 20th century, the Romanians were a people with over 12 million inhabitants, of whom almost half lived under foreign occupation. At the same time in Transylvania, the Romanians suffered the serious consequences of the accord by which the Hungarian state was re-established more than three centuries after its collapse and the dual Austria-Hungary state was created (1867). Transylvania lost the autonomous status it had under Austrian rule and it was incorporated into Hungary. The legislation passed by the government in Budapest, which proclaimed the existence of only one nationality in Hungary - the Magyar one - sought to destroy from the ethno-cultural point of view the other populations, by forcing them to become Hungarian. This subjected the Romanian population, along with other ethnic groups, to heavy ordeals. At that time the National Romanian Party in Transylvania played an important role in asserting the Romanian national identity; the party was reorganised in 1881 and it became the standard bearer in the struggle to achieve recognition of equal rights of the Romanian nation and it the resistance against the denationalisation projects. In 1892 the national struggle of the Romanians reached a climax through the Memorandum Movement. The memorandum was drafted by the leaders of the Romanians in Transylvania, Ion Ratiu, Gheorghe Pop of Basesti, Eugen Brote, Vasile Lucaciu, a.o. and it was sent to Vienna to be submitted to emperor Franz Joseph I; it advised the European public opinion of the Romanians' claims and of the intolerance shown by the government in Budapest regarding the national issue. The 1878-1914 period was one of stability and progress for Romania. Politics got polarised around two huge parties - the conservative one (Lascar Catargiu, P.P. Carp, Gh. Grigore Cantacuzino, Titu Maiorescu, a.o.) and the liberal one (Ion C. Bratianu, Dimitrie A. Sturdza, Ion I.C. Bratianu, a.o.). They alternatively came to power and this became the characteristic trait of the epoch's politics. The expansionist policy of Russia determined Romania to sign in 1883 a secret alliance treaty with Austria-Hungary, Germany and Italy; the treaty was renewed periodically until World War I. After staying neutral in the first Balkan war (1912-1913) Romania joined Greece, Serbia, Montenegro and Turkey against Bulgaria in the second Balkan war. The peace treaty of Bucharest (1913) marked the end of that conflict and under its provisions Southern Dobrudja - the Quadrilateral (the Durostor and Caliacra counties) became part of Romania. In August 1914, when World War I broke out, Romania declared neutrality. Two years later on August 14/27, 1916 it joined the Allies, which promised support for the accomplishment of national unity; the government led by Ion I.C. Bratianu declared war on Austria-Hungary. After the first success, the Romanian army was forced to abandon part of the country, Bucharest included and to withdraw to Moldavia, owing to the joint offensive of the armies in Transylvania, commanded by General von Falkenhayn and those of Bulgaria, commanded by Marshal von Mackensen. In the summer of 1917, in the great battles of Marasti, Marasesti and Oituz, the Romanians aborted the attempt made by the Central Powers to defeat and get Romania out of the war by occupying the rest of her territory. But the situation changed completely following the outbreak of the revolution in Russia (1917) and the separate peace concluded by the Soviets at Brest-Litovsk (March 3, 1918); this triggered the end of the military operations on the eastern front. Romania was compelled to follow in the steps of her Russian ally, because on the Moldavian front the Romanian troops were interspersed with the Russian ones and it was impossible for combat to continue on one area of the front and for peace to settle on another front area, and so on. Cut off from its western allies, Romania was forced to sign the peace treaty of Bucharest with the Central Powers (April 24/May 7, 1918). The ratification procedure was never carried through, so from the legal standpoint the treaty was never operative; in fact, in late October 1918, Romania denounced the treaty and re-entered the war. The right of the peoples to self-rule triumphed in the final stage of World War I and this served the cause of the Romanians who lived in the Czarist and Austro-Hungarian Empires. The collapse of the czarist system and the recognition by the Soviet government of the right of the exploited peoples to self-rule allowed the Romanians in Bessarabia to express through the vote of the national representative body - the Country Council which convened in Chisinau - their will to be united with Romania (March 27/April 9, 1918). The fall of the Hapsburg monarchy in the autumn of 1918 made it possible for the nations that had been under Austrian-Hungarian oppression to emancipate themselves. On November 15/28, 1918, the National Council of Bukovina voted in Cernauti to unite that province to Romania. In Transylvania the National Assembly called at Alba Iulia on November 18/December 1, 1918 voted, within the presence of over 100,000 delegates, to unite Transylvania and Banat with Romania. So, in January 1919, when the peace conference was inaugurated in Paris, the union of all Romanians into one single state was an accomplished fact. The international peace treaties of 1919-1920 signed at Neuilly, Saint-Germain, Trianon and Paris, established the new European realities and also sanctioned the union of the provinces that were inhabited by Romanians into one single state (295,042 square kilometres, with a population of 15.5 million). The universal suffrage was introduced (1918), a radical reform was applied (1921), a new Constitution was adopted - one of the most democratic on the continent (1923) - and all this created a general-democratic framework and paved the way for a fast economic development (the industrial output doubled between 1923 and 1938). With its 7.2 million metric tons of produced oil in 1937, Romania was the second largest European producer and number seven in the world. The per capita national income reached $94 in 1938 as compared to Greece - $76, Portugal - $81, Czechoslovakia - $141, and France - $246.
Nicolae Titulescu, Romanian Foreign Minister, supporter of collective security in Europe. In politics many parties competed with one another, so the government was controlled over the years by several of them: the People's Party (Alexandru Averescu), the National Liberal Party (Ion I.C. Bratianu, I.G. Duca, Gheorghe Tatarescu) and the National Peasant Party (Iuliu Maniu). The Romanian Communist Party, established in 1921, and which had an insignificant number of members, was banned in 1924. The Iron Guard, an extremist right-wing nationalist movement, established by Corneliu Zelea Codreanu in 1927, was equally banned. In 1930 Carol II changed his mind about his earlier decision to give up the throne, he dethroned his minor son, Michael (who had become king in 1927) and he took the throne. Eight years later he established his personal dictatorship (1938-1940). The goals of the foreign policy in the inter-war period, when Nicolae Titulescu played a major role, sought to maintain the territorial status quo by creating regional alliances, supporting the League of Nations and the collective security policy, as well as by promoting close co-operation with the Western democracies - France and Great Britain. With Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia, Romania lay the foundation in 1920-1921 for the Little Entente and in 1934 Romania created with Yugoslavia, Greece and Turkey a new organisation of regional security - the Balkan Entente. When World War II broke out, Romania declared neutrality (September 6, 1939) but she supported Poland (by facilitating the transit of the National Bank treasure and granting asylum to the Polish president and government). The defeats suffered by France and Great Britain in 1940 created a dramatic situation for Romania. The Soviet government applied Plank 3 of the secret protocol of August 23, 1939 and forced Romania by the ultimatum notes of June 26 and 28, 1940 to cede not only Bessarabia, but also Northern Bukovina and the Hertza land (the latter two had never belonged to Russia). Under the Vienna 'Award' - actually a dictate - (August 30, 1940) Germany and Italy gave to Hungary the north-eastern part of Transylvania, where the majority population was Romanian. Following the Romanian-Bulgarian talks in Craiova, a treaty was signed on September 7, 1940, under which the south of Dobrudja (the Quadrilateral) went to Bulgaria. Romania's map with the territorial losses of the '40s. The serious crisis in the summer of 1940 led to the abdication of King Carol II in favour of his son Michael I (September 6, 1940); equally, it led to General Ion Antonescu`s take-over of the government (he became a Marshal in October 1941). In an effort to win support from Germany and Italy, Ion Antonescu joined forces in government with the Iron Guard Movement. The Movement attempted by way of the rebellion of January 21-23, 1941 to take over the entire government and, as a result, it was eliminated from politics.
Wishing to get back the territories lost in 1940, Ion Antonescu participated, side by side with Germany, in the war against the Soviet Union (1941-1944). The defeats suffered by the Axis powers led after 1942 to enhanced attempts made by Antonescu's regime, as well as by the democratic opposition (Iuliu Maniu, C.I.C. Bratianu) to take Romania out of the alliance with Germany. On August 23, 1944, Marshal Ion Antonescu was arrested under the order of King Michael I. The new government, made up of military men and technocrats, declared war on Germany (August 24, 1944) and so, Romania brought her whole economic and military potential into the alliance of the United Nations, until the end of World War II in Europe. Despite the human and economic efforts Romania had made for the cause of the United Nations for nine months, the Peace Treaty of Paris (February 10, 1947) denied Romania the co-belligerent status and forced her to pay huge war reparation. payments; but the Treaty recognised the come-back of north-eastern Transylvania to Romania while Bessarabia and Northern Bukovina stayed annexed to the USSR. On the territory of Romania Soviet troops were stationed and the country was abandoned by the Western powers, so the next stage brought a similar evolution to that of the other satellites of the Soviet Empire. The whole government was forcibly taken over by the communists, the political parties were banned and their members were persecuted and arrested; King Michael I was forced to abdicate and the same day the people's republic was proclaimed (December 30, 1947). The single-party dictatorship was established, based on an omnipotent and omnipresent surveillance and repression force. The industrial enterprises, the banks and the transportation means were nationalised (1948), agriculture was forcibly collectivised (1949-1962), the whole economy was developed according to five-year plans, the main goal being a Stalinisttype industrialisation. Romania became a founding member of COMECON (1949) and of the Warsaw Treaty (1955). At the death of Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1965), the communist leader of the after-war epoch, the party leadership, which was later identified with that of the state as well, was monopolised by Nicolae Ceausescu. In a short period of time he managed to concentrate into his own hands (and those of a clan headed by his wife, Elena Ceausescu ) all the power levers of the communist party and of the state system. Romania distanced herself from the USSR (this publicy inaugurated in the 'Statement' of April 1964); the domestic policy was less rigid and there was some opening in the foreign policy (Romania was the only Warsaw Treaty member-state that did not intervene in Czechoslovakia in 1968); all this, as well as the political capital built on such a less Orthodox line were used to consolidate Ceausescu own position, to take over the whole power within the party and the state. The dictatorship of the Ceausescu family, one of the most absurd forms of totalitarian government in the 20th century Europe, with a personality cult that actually bordered on mental illness, had as a result, among other things, distortions in the economy, the degradation of the social and moral life, the country's isolation from the international community. The country's resources were abusively used to build absurdly giant projects devised by the dictator's megalomania; this also contributed to a dramatic decline of the population's living standard and the deepening of the regime's crisis.
Under these circumstances, the spark of the revolt that was stirred in Timisoara on December 16, 1989 rapidly spread all over the country and in December 22 the dictatorship was overthrown owing to the sacrifice of over one thousand lives. The victory of the revolution opened the way for a re-establishment of democracy, of the pluralist political system, for the return to a market economy and the re-integration of the country in the European economic, political and cultural space.
Misa is the main romanian religious cult. This religion is a form of yoga and hardcore sex, practiced by over 98% of the population. A couple hundred people gather in a place called "the loving grounds" and they starting having wild sex with each other. The whole process is lead by The Guru, a highly important figure in Romania. Many people love this man and teach their children to be just like him; he recently published a book "How to love your neighbour, from behind" which was declared a best-seller in the first weekend, and over 1 million copies sold in the first week. Of course, The Guru donated all those earnings to the victims of incorrect copulation, which happen fairly often in the cult, due to the excess use of drugs and wine. The Guru is also known as "IPS Teoctist".
The romanians are a very religious culture, thir main activity is calling God in their life "futu-ti Dumnezeu si pastele matii" Your mother's tradition is very nice and i would like to love and worship your God. Romanians are also very tolerant "futu-ti Dumnezeii" I love your gods they are ok. Romanians also look to God for help and in the mean time just hang around, He is bound to get bored first and help them. The best way to show their religios belief is to get into crowded churches and stare at other people's clothes, this activty happenes especially at christmas and Eastern.
Romanian 2 Heroes
A well known Hero is Manea, aka Manea Grosu' ş-Arţăgosu, aka Pardaillan, who very clearly references the French culture imported by the Romanian students in France who learned there how to make the knot to a tie. He did a very heroic thing when he killed Toma Alimoş, very famous burglar "haiduc" in the XVIII century (1700-1800), who was equipped with a bulletproof vest. Romanian peasants used to sing popular songs (a.k.a. Balada) about him. A famous Romanian popular song "Balada lu' Toma Alimoş" states:
- But Manea tricks him with a test, (Dar Manea ii juca o festa)
- He had a bullet anti-vest. (Avea gloantze antivesta.) The nowadays hero of the romanians is Gigi de Becali, the romanian malphormed version of the jedi Luke Skywalker. they both have the same background of incredibly poor and even more than poor, lobotomized farmers that have as incredible superpowers. The saga of Gigi starts tragically with the death of his belloved sheep "Desfututa" which suffered a latexlack related accident(romanians use forged iron instead of plastic for reinforcing condoms since the great Deppresion started in Cucuietii de Vale). Gigi uses his mental powers to train a group of 8 sheep so as to fight against another group of chupacabras who were responsible for weakening Desfuttuta in an earlier intercourse. Interestingly, there was no point in him doing that such as there is no point in him breathing, but hey, it's his MENTAL powers we're talking about. So anyway, in great pain after an incomparable orgy of celebration, he leaves to Bucharest(the former capital of Zimbabwe)and there he uses the same mental powers for acquiring a foot"balls" team so as to...well...who knows the point of football anyway ?
Superpowers : "Deci, dom'le !" is a powerfull and meaningfull incantation that affects the enemies(also known as "duşmanii mei, dom'le") with a powerfull wave that makes all their body shake and shiver, causes stomach aches and makes their faces contorsionate into an incredible rictus; most people call this "Laughter".
A "wannabe" romanian hero is Sebastian "Lord of the gay, Not out of the closet YET" Bodu. He is not a very smart person (he can't say how much is 19 % out of 100) and he is the no. 1 enemy of Gigi von Becali. There is not much more to say about him (anyway, this is already too much), only that he makes the gay community around the world look bad.
Main Article: Economy of Romania
Romania has no economy, it really doesn't. Oddly, despite the lack of economy, Romania has several major exports, as well as sidelines in beer and ţuică. Romania's primary import is drama. Romanian roommates are the world's greatest natural source of drama, and their output does not diminish over time. Romania is also the world's leading exporter of vampires, gymnasts, and sexual fetishisation of old women.
Romania's secondary export consists of a very peculiar vehicle (miraculously produced there, since the country has no economy) called the Dacia. The Dacia is a very special form of transportation and might even become, in the future, an alternative to ecological engines powered by electricity or fuel cells, since it seems to be entirely propelled by curses. Curses are also required for maintenance, because changing oil or a faulty spare part has no effect on the functioning. On the contrary, saying to it rabla dracu, or, in extreme cases tutzi mortzii matii de fieratanie! would always work. However the curses should stop here because of the unstable character of the Dacia which may result in making the car angry and leaving you where you are (flat). Fortunately this can't be far from home since it's autonomy is less than 700 m. Warning: DO NOT HIT IT. IT'S FRAGILE!!
Romania's main export still remains one of the best antiviruses ever: BitDeleter™(Deletes your every bit). The producers(Softwin) say if BitDeleter won't delete your every bit, money will be sent back guarantee. This special antivirus scans your system and if it founds 1 little bug in a folder, it will delete it(even if it's from windows) Romania also riches software ownerws with Crackz keygenz, serialz, and makes people happy with xxx moviez, spyware/adware/malware while browsing the web.
Due to its neighbour Botswana, the currency of Romania is the pula (with its subdivision, the coi). The history of pula started in the 18th century during which there were gold pula coins. The banana merchants of Romania were testing the gold coins with their teeth so a new expression emerged: "eat my pula" meant "test my money, I'm good for it."
Even though the pula gold coins were withdrawn from the market in in the 1980s by the Rroma community, the inertia of the language kept the expressions alive. It is not uncommon for rich old banana merchants in Romania to say to their young wives "eat my pula," which can be translated "spend my money, my credit card has no limit."
Romanians are poor and usually do not own more than one pula. Sometimes the Romanians are attacked by vicious urologists, such as the famous Ciomu, that may steal even their only pula. Despite the huge buyer confidence, Romanians can't buy many things with only one pula. That's why the goods they afford are priced roundly at the value of one pula (in Romanian, "face o pula").
Young men, those who are the usual victims of the urologists and don't have even a pula, flock in hoards in numbers of thousands through the 3 malls in the country, roaming without buying anything. They are described as rubbers of the pula ("frecatori de pula").
Tourism in Romania is a relatively new national sport. Romanians tend to gather in herds at certain times of the year (like the 1st of May, International Labourer Day, Drinking Holiday - from 1st January to 31st December) and go devastate every piece of nature that resisted the previous year's onslaught. When he/she is in the middle of nature, the average Romanian tends to get melancholic and gets in the mood for some very loud, broken-heart music (aka manele).
After setting up his chosen location and playing the music on the 20000W car stereo, the Romanian starts to prepare the national dish, the mici (smallies). The "mici" (not to be mistaken for the "muci", the product of the national sport, nosepicking) are at their best served with mustard and a pint or two of beer (or 5, or 6 - who can count them after 10?).
Smallies are a mixture of all types of meat and spices (such as garlic - to fend off vampires, onion - to fend off family, and salmonella), tenderly moulded by old gypsy women who never wash their hands in a somewhat tubular shape. Although you would not expect it, the Romanian actually cooks the mici, by placing them on improvised stoves or barbecues, called gratare, which are constructed with the sole purpose of producing the maximum amount of smelly smoke in order to annoy the neighbours that don't own one. From bird cages to supermarket trolleys - anything can be converted into a 'gratar', which, you have to admit, is extremely convenient.
After finishing their relaxing day in nature, the Romanians make sure not to leave the garbage in one location, on the spot, but scatter it all around, so that the few surviving forest animals choke on it (thus the Romanian lives up to his hunter-gatherer reputation).
A very important tourist attraction of Romania is "The Old-Bitches' Stone" also known as "Babele". Near it is the not so spectacular StonedDude or "Sfinxul" (in Romanian). If you ever have the privilege to visit Romania, don't miss it!
The more sophisticated young (under 55) Romanians spend their holidays at Vama Veche, where they enjoy the company of other sophisticated and intelligent youngmen. They hang around at the shows of the famous Vama Veche Theater, Vama Veche Opera, at the various concert halls and at the Vama Veche Carciuma, where they wear their glittering costumes called "jos textila" (intraductible interjection, meaning "platonic love"). Access in the Vama Veche area is conditioned by a specialist's diagnosis certifying that the tourist has an STD and that's why old men usually contact young rock'n'roll girls in order to buy an infection.
Over the past 15 years Romania has become one of the hottest spots of pedo-tourism. Hordes of tourists (particularly from Belgium and UK) are coming to Romania in search of one of its most wonderful turist attractions: Aurolacul Minor (Lat. aurolaculus minorus). It is said that under proper protocol formalities Aurolacul Minor from Bucharest is able to induce a state of extreme happiness and a feeling of accomplishment into the tourist. Protocol involves some financial aspects as well as religious ones. On the financial aspect, the tourist has to have his own pula and request the Aurolac to check if it's real money. On the other hand, the great bear has to be summoned by requesting the Aurolac to take it to the paw.
Romania is also home to the annual computer science religious festival known as Galaciuc.
Gigi von Becali is also a well known singer as is proven in his latest single where teaming up with know rap artist 50 cent he starts complimeting DAN VOICULESCU a famous POLITICIAN.
Main Article: Culture of Romania
One of Romania's greatest sculptors, Constantin Brancusi, has sculpted a piece called Coloana Infinitului, or "The Column of Infinity" in English. It is considered a masterpiece nowadays but the truth is that the sculptor was a savage man who fell into a very deep hole as a child and his parents dropped him a large tree trunk to help him get out. It took him years to chop the column from the tree trunk until he could use it as a ladder.
Because it took so long for him to complete his escape he named his ladder "The Column of Infinity." It is still unknown why his parents didn't drop a rope for him to get out or how he survived in the hole surrounded by and feeding on his bodily residues.
After the hurricane Katrina hit the coasts of America, the romanian diaspor in the affected vicinity was forced to stop listening to a famous romanian song interpreted by the national singer of this country, Sofia Vicoveanca, called Hai Katrina si ne-arata.
Rock culture is starting to grow in Romania. This year (2005) many rock bands performed in Romania, and more are scheduled to do so in the future. Megadeth is an example. Adi The Wonder Boy, the hard rock legend, will open the Megadeth concert with his brutal, yet soft crow-like voice.
Coaie pe Zacusca, Bocanc pe fata lu ma-ta & Viu in Sicriu are the creators of the Rahovian Black Metal, a strange combination between black metal, folk, blues and the Rahovian music, manele. Their subjects are based on the ancient god Zacusculos, who betrayed his people, the all-powerful Rahovian soldiers. Another revolutionary musical presence on the Romanian scene is Boratorii, the godfathers of Catholic barf metal grind-core crossover, a complex genre revolving mostly around the subject of grandpa fisting and the doings of Marele Izvoru' (or the Great Waterhole, as he is known in international circles) and his never-ending legacy.
Another style of music very popular in Romania is "manele". Its positioning among the currents in contemporary music is controversial. Some say it is more like dub, some assimilate it with trip-hop, it even has been stated that it is closely linked with Shostacovitch. This type of music has nevertheless prehistoric beginnings, many countries seem to have imported and adapted it, sometimes spoiling it (see Britney Spears, for instance).
The leaders of the manele genre, in Romania, are Adrian Copilu' Minune (Ady the Wonder Kid), lately known as Adi de Vito (without any resemblance to Danny DeVito; the name actually refers to "Vito!", a customary Romanian greeting meaning "You cow!"), and Nicolae Guta (or Gootzah, for the manele lovers with a hip-hop side), a.k.a. Guta Reynolds. Although Guta is the recognized king of manele (he was crowned live during the Teo -one of Oprah's disciples- Show), these two are in a constant fight for supremacy in the manele business and in the poor Romanian's heart.
Present day Manele are arabian-like songs which are played all night long at parties in Oltenia and Moldova provinces of Romania. The best manele song is Vecini si dusmani. The main idea of the song is Let's party and don't let the neighbours sleep
Nevertheless we should also mention that Gutza, the great poet/musician, not long ago had a heart attack when receiving the news that he won the Nobel Prize for Peace in 2005. He is now breathing through a tube and can't go to the toilet, so he often shits himself. Hopefuly, he will drown in it.
A strong appearance on musical scene is the PARAZITII (The parasites) - hip hop band with economic influences that speaks about the romanian currency (pula and coi), about their strong competitors from the manele section to which they send friendly greetings; they sound like, "muie voua si celor care va asculta" (we are great friends let`s have a drink - TUICA) or "esti un taran in pantofi si cu telemea pe dinti" ("i like your tooth-paste and especially your RICCI shoes"). They are great boys (Ombladon - sort of embrio, Cheloo = The bald drinking man and FDD = Freaka Da Disk the little bald man ) with small balls or like the elders said without balls.Last but not least, they really enjoy marching for the legalisation of the "iarba", generally known as "weed".They think it's a good a idea to smoke one before dinner, one during dinner, one after the dinner and if there's any left, after the one you smoked after dinner. JsY is a new hip-hop unknow talent from Bucharest, Romania.He has a strong position againts manele,criminals,police and about life.He's album is finished and in a couple of months all the romanians will here him on radio/cd album/cassette saying "things" againts manele.In his song - "Multzi",JsY is very pleased by the concept of manele "...au o Dac*e alb-tunata praf si manea la maxx" (they are so beautifeul, manele is true great!). Romania has recently entered the Hip-hop scene as the popular band Parazitii has become a hugely successful group in neighboring countries of Estonia, Lithuania, and other countries of Eastern Europe. The Romanian people are disgusted by Parazitii, Bitza, JsY and every artist that is againts manele.Actually they are quite stupid because manele rullllzzz.
The famous finnish singer Jaakko Teppo decided to move in to Romania, because he loved the country more than finland. Jaakko Teppo changed his name to more Romanian name which is Jacko Téposdoz. The Dude who wanted Jaakko to become a Romanian artists uses a nickname Xardas. It's said that he's actually a leader of a romanian secret police H.I.V.
The favourite sport of the Romanian football players is drunk driving while listening to hard-core manele. This extracurricular activity recently led to the qualification of Romania's national team directly to the final of the 2006 World Cup, which, as a tribute to the razboinicul luminii, Gigi Becali (the Warrior of the light, also called Mihai Viteazul), will be held in the tycoon's home basement in Pipera.
The qualification session was quite an adventure, with Mutu the Inhaler playing in his spare time at two football clubs (Chelsea and Juventus). Despite his late training session (which he conducted at his third club, the F.C.M. Exotic Dance Club of Ciorogîrla) on the night before the qualification match, Mutu managed to overcome his tiredness before the very important match by using his magical white fairy dust. And, because fairy dust makes you fly over puffy velvet clouds with hordes of pink seagulls, Mutu had no problem flying through the opposing defence right into the stands.
With the force of Mutu by their side, Romania's squad had no problem to win the match, although the opposing team, a mixture of world top class players, claimed that the referee (internationally known Grigory Blatovsky) was against them. This match set a new record, with 22 penalties awarded to the Romanians and 15 goals cancelled for the opposing team. It ended 1-0 for Romania, with a goal scored in the 9th minute of stoppage time by an intoxicated romanian fan.
Might be interesting to know that, because the match was played on Romanian soil, the foreign goal-keeper was blindfolded while having to stay in one foot with his hands tied behind his back. We will be back with more details from the final, scheduled to be played when the Romanian players return from their bonus trip to Mars.
A new sport almost emerged: maddogg hunting. It was like this: the maddoggs were once maddpuppies. They were forced to live in the catacombs beneath Bucharest eating only expired plastic bags (a powerful mutagen agent). After two years of plastic eating, the maddpuppies reached maturity. They started hunting rats, maddcatz and the occasional human that dared get out after sunset. The maddoggs started organizing in maddpacks, tribal like organizations in which constant fights were led for supremacy. The maddpack leader usually had an opposable thumb at the 4th foot. The hunt began when the maddoggs started to organize a plot to overthrow the government (after they invented a new way to clean the toilet). The great maddogg crusade was led by Basescu the Slayer. Because of his great succes, he was elected president to rid the country of maddcommunists (regular communists forced to eat bullshit communist doctrines for 50 years).
Torture is like the eighth art for Romanians. The first world known artist was Dracula, which took real efforts to standardize the impaling procedure at the very moment when the classics composers were trying to standardize the symphony.
After WWI, Transylvania joined the rest of Romania and Romanians started pleasuring the Hungarian minority with small gestures like building huge cathedrals in towns where only a peaceful millennium and a lot of Viagra could raise the church audience to the level required only for the sitting places to be filled.
During WWII, Romanians started by torturing Communists and Jews. After a while, torturers started torturing themselves as Antonescu's army was torturing the members of Iron Legion, his right wing friends.
The Hungarians came to learn the pleasure of torture. When they made 80 Romanians and 8 Jews to die jumping from a mountain hill at Treznea, they had a lot of Romanian-like fun.
Then when the Russian came, Romanians stopped torturing Jews, but added to the leftists, the rightists and the centrists, and the uppers and the downers and generally whoever opposed their regime or dared to exist before them. Germans were sent to Siberia, because they will remember the cold Alpine weather from Vaterland and they will be tortured, burned by the home mist.
When Stalin died and Israelis became allies of the anti-Communist USA, Israelis were no longer forbidden to be tortured. The Jews and the Germans were happy to know themselves bought with 100 US dollars a piece by the Federal Republic of Germany and Israel. The stories from the 50's and 60's are full of lovely stories, like starving slaves working on a channel which was not finished or like the inmates torturing each other in the name of the party in the Pitesti experiment.
In the last years of the Communism, Ceausescu proved that the regime was failing due to his incompetence. Torture was really low, and the fact that Gheorghe Ursu was tortured to death for having 5 US capitalist dollars was not enough for the blood-thirsty Romanians.
So they hit the streets in the December of 1989, having a lot of fun in fighting each other while pretending to fight an unknown enemy. People with darker skins were accused to be terrorists. Some of them were brought to the national TV station with their hands tied with wires and images broadcasting them crying while some Romanians were accusing them of terror attacks were very funny.
The best laugh Romanians had was when Ceausescu was executed at the order of his subalterns. They wouldn't just shoot him, they staged a mockery trial which was broadcasted on national TV three times in a rope, at the request of the beholders. The judges who couldn't beat him (they were a big gang and there weren't enough places) were torturing him by solving crosswords, with a well-dissimulated uncarefullness.
After that, the miners came to kick some ass in Bucharest, managing to shave some bearded man by the newly invented procedure of cutting the beard in a skillful move of a pick-axe. They also caused some funny miscarriages and produced a few bastard sons. The Hungarian minority had a lot of fun with a guy called Mihai Coseriu, whom they tickled with feathers they carried on their toe caps.
The police kicked ass, when the enemy was young and weak. They were successful in kicking asses of college and high school students protesting in University Square, and they would even kick asses in a kindergarten if they would find one. The miners kicked their asses with the same well-known pickaxes, until army kicked their asses with real guns.
The policemen continue to kick asses whenever they are allowed to take care of a football game. The view of policemen dragging and kicking a 14-years old with the boots in the head is so funny, that even the players stop playing and watch the real funny show.
In the last years, Romanians started to exploit their successful art of torture by making it a headline in its tourism advertisement. Hundreds of citizens of Western Europe and Middle East come to enjoy a nice torture which is performed by the skillful Romanians in collaboration with the exchange students from CIA, the 51th and the only European state of the United States of America.
Even the current president mentioned something about public impaling sessions in order to secure his election. A future talent is the politician Corneliu Vaccin Tudor whose promises of torture shows culminating with public executions got him close to 20 percent of the votes.
The happy place
Romania wasn't always the beautiful tropical paradise you see today. A few thousand years ago, 4000 BC to be exact, Romania was covered in thick forests inhabited by various small rodents that fed on each other. The only populace in those days was a tribe of happy forest elves that were living their happy lives deep in the Transylvanian forests prancing about and gnawing on tree bark and various animal waste. The rest of the world was conquered by the evil Roman Empire, led by their vicious, blood-thirsty ruler, Emperor Attila the Hun.
Not fancying very much the elven culture and their pointless happiness and prancing, the evil Romans decided to conquer their forests, burn their villages and sexually abuse the elves. Although they did not have anything against being sexually abused by unwashed Romans, the elves really cared about their forests so they prepared for war.
The main battle was fought in 104 AC in the neighbouring country of Taiwan because in Romania it was raining and none of the combatants wanted to get mud all over their shoes. Realizing that they had much in common and were sexually attracted to each other, the elves and Romans stopped brutally slaughtering one another and instead started procreating. A few years later a new nation, a proud nation, was born: Romania.
A Confused Nation(wtf?)
The Romanians lived happily for approximately 1000 years under their emperor Jvljvs Ceasar during a period know as the Pax_Romanianium, not showing any sign of progress in any domain because of a racial genetic disorder that later historians used to call "congenital lazy bastarditis." However the romanians managed to get split into three diferent regions. The Valachian region pillaged and raped by the turks, the Moldavian region pillaged and massivelly raped by the russians and the Transylvanian region just generaly raped by the hungarians and the austrians. During this period the romanian common peasant discovered a very useful tactic of war. Anytime there was even the slightest rumor of turks or any other invader the romanian peasents would burn the crops, bring down their houses, rape wathever they could lay their hands on, poison the wells and beat each other up so when the invaders arived they could laugh at them "ha ha, we already pillaged all that was to pillage, suckers". Demoralized by this tactic the turks refused to invade and counqure such a suicidal country. Romania could have probably existed like that for a long time were it not for a mad ruler called Mihai the Lion heart. He managed to counquer the whole of what will be once Romania and unite it under one iron fist. His first act of law as the new king of Romania was to die and after that divide the country again. For the next couple of years the most interesting thing that happened in Romania was the anual race and slain of the pig. This horrid example of barbarism usually happened near the new year when hundreds of romanian people would stuff themselves until explosion with dead pigs. This practice brought down the number of the romanian army to only about a hand full of women who were camuflaging as men without no aparent reason other than having sex with other transvestite women they thought to be extremely vigurous men.
International(?) problems and Mustaches
While all this was happening in Romania all over the world a couple of mad germans decided it was time to steal everybody's toys so the world collapsed in total war. While Europe was slaughtering itself Romanians tried to figure what to do. Once the Russians decided to try comunist dictatorship, famine and poverty for a decade or two; Romania decided to attack Germany with all their forces. When the german troops arrived in Romania they were halted back for a while due to convulsive laughter at the sight of the Romanian army. Some of the special romanian weapons were the pig rider, the throw your weapon at the enemy and flee and the stinking soldier. Succesfull in the first world war Romanians decided they want a king so they bought one from Austria. Soon they decided they also liked mustaches do they joined Hitler fuck face in his holy conquest to fuck as many people as possible. Two days before the war ended Romanians realize they may be on the wrong side so after breief consultation they declared they were fighting against Hitler all this time but they were just confused by Stalins mustache. Stalin was insulted by this and just asked Winston Churchil "hey dude do yo wanna fuck them or can I have the honor?" Since Churchil was high on crap because he just won the war Stalin got Romania. However since he had a lot of people who needed fucking he let Romania chose their own screwers Seeing how vulnerable this small country of morons was, a pack of evil communist vampires led by Dracula installed a communist regime. The local population was enslaved and the vampires proceeded doing their evil deeds, like painting things red, eating the flesh of unborn babies and milking cows without using sterile gloves.
In 1989, sick of enslavement and being forced to pluck chickens and then glue their feathers back on every day, the people started a revolution and attacked the communist vampires with pork steaks, the traditional meal that was lying around anyway and killed some of the vampires and so the communist regime was defeated. The Romanians went back to their caves and lived happily ever after doing their traditional activities like playing football with their faces, hunting the elusive already griled pig and trying to find love on IRC.
Surprisingly, the latter almost eradicated the well-known prostitution phenomenon (a fact that some Turkish drivers complain occasionally even today). This being said, the elves' descendants don't give a damn on pornography either. With such powerful tools as IRC and countless Internet forums everybody can became an actor whenever (s)he wants - e.g., in front of the webcam or with no camera whatsoever.
Actually, the most important thing in Romania's history is its former president, Ivan Iliescov, who invented the smiley. As a recognition, almost all smilies are red, yellow or blue, the colours of Romania's national flag. So remember, whether it's red, yellow or blue, whether it's happy or sad, every smiley you see is an embodiment of Romania's former president. Another important figure in Romanian history is Avram Iancu as a very important international diplomat. His incredible experience in foreign relations is revealed even in folk songs: "Urca Iancu pe statuie/Ca sa dea la unguri muie/ Si daca mai vor Ardeal/ Beleasca pula la cal" (a song about friendship between Hungarian and Romanian people, and the good economic contacts between them-notice the "pula" reference)
The 1989 Revolution
It is well known that the tectonic plate on which Romania sits tends to wobble, making many romanians dizzy, especially when driving. Drinking has absolutely nothing to do with it.
However, in 1989, the unrest in tectonic plate under Romania was so great that the whole government flipped on its side. Communist politicians were impeached ('impeached ' is a Romanian word that means "retire with pensions three times larger than they earned before"), and their leader/scapegoat was killed by a drunk driver. On the other end of the spectrum, common Romanian thieves and bandits would finally have their turn in the seat of power. As a symbol of the demise of the communist gang of outlaws (and in-laws), the flag needed fixin'. In the true spirit of Romania, they did it the easiest way they could; they tore the communist logo off and raised the price. A new logo needed to be designed, but the people in power were too lazy to think of one. Eventually the hole became the symbol, and remained that way until it was patched according to new EU-adherence regulations.
1989 was also the year when the Soviet Empire collapsed together with what we call in Romanian securisti. These securisti, aka informatori, went into bussines after 1989 and so contributed to the extinction of Romania's economy. But all along this painful process, the securisti became rich men and dressed themselves in politicians clothes, pretended to be intellectuals (e.g. the ex-vagabond Dan Pavel is a notable thinker in Romanian political culture or Mihai Tatuflinci, an ex-murderer but not an ex-convict, who introduced the concept of show-crap in the dambovitean mass-media system)and now honorably belong to the Romanian aristocracy, which is led by the so-called razboinicul luminii (in English the warrior of light),who before the great Revolution in 1789 (he was there too, don't worry!) slept with billions of sheep and earned a fortune of pulas from belonging to the caste of shit-eaters (mancatori de cacat, in Romanian).
In conclusion, 1989 was a time of misfortune for the Romanian people, which within only a decade developed lethal illnesses such as the manele syndrom and also contaminated itself with the being stupid and lazy at the same time virus. Therefore, the level of education in Romania decresed to such a point that at present (it's hard to say when that is...) the MORonsANDI young generation is glad to enter the EU. The heritage of Europe will be surely enriched by the red-faced (rosu in obraji) average illiterate Romanian ( sons of the red-necks, meaning peasants who dont know anything).
Romania is home to the most prestigious school in Eastern Europe, Sacred heart university. Romanians are banned from going to this university because Romanians are considered lesser people. Romanians aren't even allowed to work in this facility, so the administration imports endantured servants from Canada. Aside from Sacred heart university, there are no known education facilities in this nation.
Even so, it seems that Romanians are blessed with natural-born "educational microchips" that automatically teach them, since they are born, the three most important things in modern Romania: what are "manele", who is "Gigi Fecali", and how to correctly maneuver the "pula". Having only one "pula" to spend their entire life, Romanians take great pride into bragging about their "pula" maneuvering tehniques in economics and social relationships. This is why "pula maneuvering" is the primary directive in Romanian Education.
While knowing how to properly use the "pula" is a must, it is still unclear as why the other two are also considered important, like "who is Gigi Fecali" and "what are manele". There are some theories, however, that suggest Gigi Fecali will become in the near future the "666", and that knowing that since they are born Romanians can avoid getting "fecalized on" by "Gigi".
With manele, Romanians are prepared for musical world domination, since in the near future "manele" will overpower all the other musical styles, and expressions such as "sa moara dujmanii" and "haules-baules" will have a great cultural importance to the entire living world, including animals and plants. It seems that "manele" have a built-in sound frequency that allows them to destroy medical diseases such as "inteligenta" or "politete", even though these diseases are very rare at the moment.
== Government == + Main Article: Politics of Romania
In 1756, a bloodless revolution resulting in some 1 million mutilations, 267,000 viral infections and 72,506 bisexual cows -- but zero deaths -- brought to power an anarchical government. This authoritarian regime has remained in power ever since thanks to its ingenious use of Yufu's chinese food.
In 2004, after the elections, Adrian Nastase, the displaced prime minister, could return to his life long passions: giving oral sex to old people on the bus, and anal sex with apes who are in danger of no-sex.
After the lost of the long departed dear Ceausescu, ruler of them all, the people of Romania found themselves lost and without a paternal figure. So, in order to compensate this tragic loss, the Romanians voted at each democratic election for the little brother of Ceausescu - Iliescu (or Iliescov). The resemblance between the brothers offered the Romanians peace of mind: the poverty, the outrageous public thefts, the peak of bureaucracy and so many lovely communist traditions.
The current ruler of Romania is a former corsair which goes by the name of Traian Basescu. Although his name seems to resemble those of the former presidents, we must notice that he is only trying to become the first emperor of the newly seemed to have proven this rumour as false. He also became famous for his military campaign against dogs who were planning to take over the galaxy. As a consequence, now cats are secretly running it, while dogs are sent to re-education camps were they learn how to become soap. An unconfirmed rumour states that this is the same soap Bush and Blair are using.
Romania and the end of the world
As constantly beeing 20 years behind any known society, when the end of the world will come - romanians will have another 20 years to spend after nuclear bombs will fall over the aviary chickens.. Most Romanians look forward to this since they will finally be able to flee into America and Canada so when death comes to claim them, the Romanians will just show their American or Canadian work green cards and claim they already died as American citizens. Like this Romanians will be able to live forever and rule the world. After they rule the world for a couple of years the Romanians will eventualy die out because they will not be able to emigrate to other countries and they will not be able to request debts from other countries. Another theory is that Romanians will shoot all the moldavians to the moon and thus create another culture. This will be posible since moldavians have their head full of empty air and they can survive in an outer space forever.
Rromania is a hidden and always on the move part of Romania. The name Rromania comes from rrom (an exotic presence in Romania) and the imperativ verb "a-niaaaaaaaa" (similar to "diiiiii", a verb for their favourite pets and close friends, the horses). The rroms (also known as tigani, cygans, gypsyies, gitanos, zigeuner, ceaules, zmardoi, ursari and so on...) are not a native population in Romania. They have migrated after the last glaciation froze the northern parts of India. From their ancestor's lives in India, the rroms have learned to be in constant communion with Mother Nature. And so, they roam the country relentlessly in search of a place close enough to nature worth settling down. They also resent water and hate soap. There is something interesting about the rrom woman : they pee standing up , so we are not exactly sure that they are really women.
Due to their natural tan, the rroms have been discriminated throughout history. In medieval times, they were Vlad the Impaler's favourite practice target. After this oppression, they tried to arrange a deal with the turks to overthrow Vlad the Devil (Vlad Dracu), but their plan was exposed by Stefan cel Mare, who turned them into slaves for their treason.
As slaves, the rroms had some very rough times. They were sold for practically nothing (example of rrom transaction: "Ionascu fecior lui Ursu Piscoaei este vindut drept un poloboc de miare, pretuit drept zece galbeni, cu feciorii lui ce-i va avea" - "Ionascu is sold for a jar of honey with all his sons and his sons' sons"). Because of their low wages (two beatings per day), the rroms turned to stealing. The stealing ability of the rroms was used in the wars with the turks, when the romanians sent rrom commando teams on turkish soil to steal the turks' weapons and their daughters' virginity. They were forced to work in inhuman conditions and they were fed nothing (twice a day at least). Because they suffered from constant hunger, the rroms started singing. And never stopped.
The hunger singing quickly turned into a business. Their work inspired great musicians across history (Frantz Liszt's "Roman Rhapsody for Piano" was inspired by a local talent, Barbu Lautaru). It was even suggested that these two were close friends. BUT (there's always a but) Barbu Lautaru marked the beginning (and simultaneously the end) of an era when gypsies ACTUALLY composed and played genuine rroman music (if such a concept was ever invented). Later on, "pictati" (painted faces) like Romica Puceanu, Faramita Lambru and Constantin Eftimiu added those superb suburb flavours that left their touch on generations and generations to come. In our days, the rroms invented the techno-manele genre, but because it was hard to produce all the techno sounds with only their mouth, hands and belly, the rroms settled for the manele. In our days, even a senate member, Madalin Voicu, started singing rock. Naturally, he quit.
The true oppression of the rroms started in the year 1766, when both mixt marriages and CD-RROMs were forbidden. Because gipsy women are too damn ugly, many rroms swore celibacy and turned to their horses. Even now, as a testimony of those hard times, horses are highly regarded in the rrom culture. They have the best places in the rroms' houses (they sleep on the couch in the dining room) and they are fed only milk and barley (in various combinations like milk and milk, barley and air, air and air..).
In modern times, the rroms started to promote their way of life in several countries in Europe. They had a huge success teaching the europeans how to live without their wallets and without their cars. They also have a strong anti-violence policy, so when someone opposes them by force, they gather in a large pack and beat him senseless. Because of their high popularity, the romanian people are now known as rroms in all of Europe.
As we know now rroms are a noble race that lives for stealing and eating swans in the vast area of western Europe , a very interesting thing about this beings is that they didn't lost the sense of the horde they have some evil pleasure to hunt in packs even in this modern times, what we can mention about them is never leave bicycle unlocked near them or any other transportation thing cause all you get is some angry DJ Sito singing about them.
Common used expressions
It is not uncommon to walk on a Romanian sidewalk and hear words like bulangiule or fah pizda proasta or even sa-mi sugi pula, mainly because they are part of the spoken language of the Romanians and because romanians are very expressive people, so let's try to learn a few expressions that are commonly used here in Romania:
o S-a spart neaga >>> commonly used to describe the sex Simbol of Romania , Neagu Adrian
○ Muie [Moo-eah] = Hello
○ Pula [Poo-lah] = Hand
○ Pizda [Peez-dah] = Food
○ Bulangiu [Boo-lan-jew] = Friend
○ Mancami-ai pula [Moon-kah me-ai poo-lah] = It's an honor to shake your hand
○ Fute-ma [Foo-teh-ma] = Hello (a sintax used mainly by young girls and widows)
○ Fututi Mortii Ma-tii [Fooh-tootzi moortzee mah-tea] = Nice too meet you
○ Bagamea-s pula-n ma-ta [Bah-gameash poo-lah oon mah-ta] = Your mother has smooth hands (Romanians bare a lot of respect for their mothers, so it is not uncommon to compliment one's mother)
○ Fututi pizda ma-tii [Foo-tootzi peez-dah mah-tii] = Your mother's food is very tasty.(again, commonly used by romanians during dinner to compliment one's mother about her cooking)
○ Sa te fut [Sah teh foot] = I love you
○ Sa te fut in cur [Sah teh foot oon coor] = I love you very much
○ Date-n sloboz de bulangiu [Dah tan sloobooz deh boo-lan jew] = Nice wheather, isn't it my friend
○ Date-n mortii ma-tii [Dah-tan moortzee mah-tee] = See you later
○ Mancamea-i coaiele [Moon-cah-mwei coah-ye-leh] = Let me buy you lunch
The list could continue, but in Romania you should remember that respect has a different approach, so don't be shy to kick a romanian in the balls or step on his pin-pointed GUCCI leather immitation shoes, because that denotes the degree of respect that one bares for an individual.
Distinguished historians and scientists from the University of Somalia argue that Jesus Christ was born and raised in Romania. Bob Marley was another romanian male who managed to achieve world wide fame, despite tough discrimination. Probably, the most famous romanian is George Bush. However, he renounced his romanian citizenship and now lives in Jesusland. And finally, Napoleon's origins were romanian. He was raised by tzigani in boschetzi and as a child he sang ancient manele. When he grew up, his parents send him in France to chordeasca, but instead he became a great emperor. A few people know this, and there are a few hundreds who know his original romanian name: Nea Pula Ion. The great senator Brian Peppers is rumored to have begun his dark life in Romania.
Dorothy Parker became Queen in 1923 after a bloody literary coup. Her acceptance speech:
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Romania.
Her first official act was an order to be brought the head of Oscar Wilde. "Smug bastard. Why doesn't everyone quote me?" she commented at the time.
The bravest thing anyone can do
Due to the lack of food in Romania, in Eastern Europe, is often said, that "The bravest thing anyone can do" is to sit on a pig and ride through Romania. The result may vary: If the traveler is American most likely the romanians will capture him and eat his wallet and passport.
If he is form Holland he will probably get turned into a huge joint and smoked by a bunch of young romanian teens.
If he is japanese people will just stare at him until he dies of shame(same with chinese)
If he is black people will repeatetly ask him how big his dick is until he will die of exasperation.
If he is Hungarian Romanians will attack and eat him.
However it's unclear what happens to the pig since the poor animal disapears within second of setting his hoves on Romanian soil. Most of the time before the traveler can realized what happned to his pig.
Romanian Brave History
Many things have been told about the romanians. Things like brave soldiers, extraordinary and skillful people were told about romanians. Well this can be a true story regarding romanians' archers, and "prastia" romanians. Military speaking, romanians are great fighters. They are encouraged by I.L. Caragiale, a brave fighter in the Tudor Vladimirescu's army, back in '77. This brave romanian fighter ecouraged romanians to fight by their nails, so today romanian people can be proud about succeding in their wars, always they are the winners. Related to "prastia", well this is a two-meaning romanian concept: the first is about the primary military weapon, which can be used by hunting birds and small animals succesfuly, looks like romanians are trying to use it in war but it's not succesful. The seconds meaning (and this is the common one) is actually defining the second national sport (after nailbiting), and that's the drinking sport. The "prastie" sport used by romanians is really unique. They have contests about it, and they often use the expression "cat ai baut ma?" (how much did you sport today?) and the answer is usual "2 litri de tuica" (i run over 2 miles and more).
Music in Romania
One of the most important arts in Romania is the music*. George Enescu is the best known romanian musician. The majority of the population of Romania enjoys real good music, like well known rock bands. Pink Floyd, Lake of Tears, Iron Maiden are the preferences of romanians. Also the local rock bands like Phoenix, the singer Valeriu Sterian, the Iris band are forming the romanian music culture. Among this, there is a special category of SSoUS (Some Sord of Unlistening Sounds) listeners in Romania. This SSoUS phenomenon is also known as "manele", subject treated in this article. The first important thing about "manele" music is that the "singers" must have no culture. If they have a little culture they cannot be named "manele" singers. The reason why the "manele" music is a listened music is because this percentage of 1/100 (intelligent/unhuman) living humans in romania.
One of the best-known romanian expressions are "Viva Pink Floyd!".
Food in Romania
The food is another major aspect about Romania. That's because food doesn't exist in Romania. There is a special way of making advertising in Romania, and that's the thing called "greva foamei" (if you're lucky you get food, else you die). "Greva foamei" takes something to understand for an occidental, or other continental habitant (including Somalia and other poor african countries).
Politics in Romania
After the 1989 revolution the politics in Romania has changed. Now they steal, but they are not called any more communists. The revolution was one of the greatest steps in Romania's history, they are now democracy and can do whatever they want.
Romania over the broads
Romania is a well known country for their gymnast Nadia Comaneci. She obtained 10 at gymnasts contest in one year, in the past. Related to Romania is Spain, and that's because romanians are really making great performances there, by collecting big and juicy "capsune". ...and they also try to kidnap different personalities from other countries, unsuccesful (stupidity is one of the aspects).
The Romania's hackers
Romania has lots of lots of hackers. They can be found on IRC (trying the /whois command on any romanian channel nickname will reveal you an IP that belongs to a consacrated romanian hacker). They are well know for their "futu-ti mortii ma-tii stai sa vezi ce-ti fac" procedure. This procedure is about using a script loading clones or flooding a router. This is why romanians are so well known in the world, they are true, skillful and experienced hackers, crackers and well educated people.
As a country, Romania has many places to visit. Tourists from all over the world visit Romania to see it's great monuments. A world heritage site, defined by UNESCO, is the Sighisoara's monuments. In the city of Iasi always is a real piece of art, a gothic one, and that's the "Trei Preputi" (Three priests) monastery. This is also called the "Preputul sud-estic al Romaniei" (The Sixteen Capel of Romania). There are also lots of historic monuments in the capital city, Bucharest. These are the ones called "Ruine in care se pisa cainii" (Great architectural Bucharest sites).
The Romanian Language
The national romanian language is afrikaans. It's origins can be found in the germanic languages (most of all portugheze, spanish and french languages included here). The simplest thing about Romania's language is conjugating verbs. Examples of romanian verbs: a bea = to drink eu beu, tu bei, el/ea bea, noi stratan, voi stratan, ei/ele stratan Notice the "stratan" form in the plural form (imported from Moldova). Examples of nouns: cacat with its plural cacati and the article cacatule or cacato (always there is another way of writing the "cacato" noun: cacat-o, but this is a common mistake). The articulate form of "cacat" (and that's "cacatule") is pronounced in english as [keketual]. A sinonim of this important noun in romanian is "mireasma". It's like saying: Esti cam cacacios azi (You're smelling good today). Notice the "cacacios" form of "cacat", which is used here to express one's smelling.