Robert Mugabe

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{{Q|Why did you rape your sister?|Judge|rape}}
 
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[[Image:mugabereach.jpg|240px|thumb|right|Mugabe, standing for what he believes in, as usual.]] '''His Most Supreme High Lordship Excellency Robert Mugabe''' is a politician and member of a [[master race]] famous for being really rich, really black and dry, really old, really evil, REALLY PISSED, and nutty as a fruitcake. He was recently elected [[King of Scotland]] by 100% of all Zimbabweans, and Plans on holding his overlord duties well into the 21st century, when he will be 327 years old. He is noted for being a member of [[NAMBLA]] and owning a [[Nintendo Wii]].
 
[[Image:mugabereach.jpg|240px|thumb|right|Mugabe, standing for what he believes in, as usual.]] '''His Most Supreme High Lordship Excellency Robert Mugabe''' is a politician and member of a [[master race]] famous for being really rich, really black and dry, really old, really evil, REALLY PISSED, and nutty as a fruitcake. He was recently elected [[King of Scotland]] by 100% of all Zimbabweans, and Plans on holding his overlord duties well into the 21st century, when he will be 327 years old. He is noted for being a member of [[NAMBLA]] and owning a [[Nintendo Wii]].

Revision as of 23:31, July 29, 2007


InyourfaceM

What's that? You don't agree with His Excellency, President for Life Robert Mugabe's official policies?
You're trying to undermine Zimbabwe and her precious democracy, aren't you? TRAITORS TO THE REVOLUTION!

WHITE IMPERIALIST PIGS! GUARDS, GET 'EM!!!



“Why did you rape your sister?”
~ Judge on rape
“Because Robert Mugabe told me to”
~ Defendant on rape

UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS MY BALLS ALL NIGHT LONG!!! LULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Mugabereach

Mugabe, standing for what he believes in, as usual.

His Most Supreme High Lordship Excellency Robert Mugabe is a politician and member of a master race famous for being really rich, really black and dry, really old, really evil, REALLY PISSED, and nutty as a fruitcake. He was recently elected King of Scotland by 100% of all Zimbabweans, and Plans on holding his overlord duties well into the 21st century, when he will be 327 years old. He is noted for being a member of NAMBLA and owning a Nintendo Wii.


Early Years

Robert Mugabe was born an albino in a village populated by bone-nosed "Uga-buga" Cannibals in the mid 19th century to Fonz and Paitence Mugabe, a poultry vendor and village slut, respectively. His albinoism was seen as a sign of signifigence by his parents, so they sacrificed him to Buddha. Buddha didn't like Mugabe ruining his Nirvana, therefore he sent him back to God, who was so sick of Mugabe yelling revolutionary slogans at the angels, he farted life back into Mugabe, enabling him to wreak havoc for the next 400 years. Mugabe, however, didn't feel sorry enough for himself yet, therefore, God made him a Black Man, allowing him to find even more reasons to bitch about white people, cause that's all black people know how to do aside from collecting welfare.

Robert Mugabe was often alienated during his acne-laden teen years due to his habit of talking to himself and yelling obscenities at anyone who didn't resemble Malcolm X or Louis Farrakhan or share in thier Idealogy. He was very forward and over-friendly with girls as well, often being as friendly as raping them. This period of time is where he also gained his trademark hatred of the white race. While it is unknown where he derived his contempt, it is often thought that he came upon a picture of Larry Bird, who was labled "the Great White Hope" out to destroy all negros, jews, spics, etc. from The NBA by the western press. This sent him cowering to his room for the next 23 years.

Rise to Power

Mugabe became a janitor at a local Gloryhole joint. When the Zimbabwean Revolution came sweeping throughout the land, he decided that, as the white people were taking too long to screw up Zimbabwe, he would selflessly screw it up himself.

He started the Noble Clan of Zimbabwean Battlerapers. The Battlerapers would roll around town making people cast their votes for the young Mugabe, or the people would be raped, infected with AIDS, and battled. However, the incumbent, Elizabeth II didn't want to forgo her power, so they settled it in a historic match known as "Rumble In the Jungle 2: Granny's Revenge". Mugabe won the match by getting Pete Rose to fix it in his favor, thus not only cheating in the elections, but the battle royale as well. This created not just Zimbabwe's first African President, but its first Dictator as well.

During Mugabe's administration, he has discovered many powers, even those that might put the X-Men to shame. These include getting European governments to do what ever the hell he wants, (or else face the wrath of his deadly Race Card Complaining Rays), transmitting HIV/AIDS to human beings by looking at them directly in the eyes, or even opening a jar with his bare hands!

Immortality

Zimbabwean Prophets and Sages have indeed declared, he will live until the Apocalypse, where he will than be destroyed by Black Jesus(vengeance for his loss in poker?), along with Satan, The Beast, and Babylon. He is the Whore of Babylon, to be precise.

Exactly how long he will live is a mystery, but it is true (according to prophecy) that he will one day rule with an iron fist for 666 years and conquer the world with a race of invincible warrior mole-people raised in the subterranean city of Menzoberranzan. anyone without the marking on thier forehead shall perish, and be forced to bow down to him. the marking is in code, for it is the numbers "666". -REV 1; 21;5.

Recent News

In March of 2007, Mugabe welcomed his MDC brothers into parliament with celebratory fireworks, rockthrowing, and gunshots, showing his appreciation for opposing ideas. he then commissioned an official state-paid massage for Morgan Tsvangirai, which he recieved from three masseuses wearing ski-masks and brandishing clubs. Mugabe admits that maybe they may have worked on his hamstrings "too well".

FUN Facts

Mugabe once placed nuts in my ass.!.! i should never have asked for that glass of water.

Rob Mugabe before he robs you!

Robert Mugabe was one of the first users of the drug Botox.

In 1981, in response to International pressure, Mugabe finally made an executive order to stop the teaching in public schools that all women with AIDS are witches and should be burned at stake. unwilling to take the money out of his own coffers, he financed this great achievement in education by hosting the biggest bake sale Zimbabwe has ever seen. Anuther big acheevement wos that he Graytly inkreased Zimbobways literacee rayt durring the ninetees, in Zimbobway's far supureeor skools than other westurn skools.g

He Was one of the original marxist brothers, as well as The Cowardly Lion in the Harare High production of The Wiz.

He also is an equal opportunity merchant of death, sending Battle Rapers throughout Zimbabwe to spread AIDS. However, Mugabe claims that no one will get the killer disease, as "Only fags get it, and the rest "are still in the closet".

His Excellency often refers to his Detractors as "Those people who just couldn't handle the African Lovin'."... as he wrote in the famous psalm "somebody cookin' with brown suga'":


Oh, Lordy Lordy, 'ave mercy. I'm too finger licken good and tasty I like dat dem there Chocolate bar, all nice and tasty and dat brown sugar, sinfully good (LORDY 'AVE MERCY!)

Them Whiteys hate dat good there African Lovin' Theeeeey can't Handle the African Lovin' It's all good though, I still got my equipment and my man servants too (LORDY LORDY 'AVE ,MERCY!)

Whitey goin' to pay, he really goin' to pay, ZANU-PF goin' kick his ass, out of the country, and take his farms (LORDY 'AVE MERCY)

Now if I could just convince Satan to pull his cock outta my ass for one minute, I can have tea with Mandela (LORDY 'AVE MERCY!) Amen.


The Lyrics prove Mugabe has gone insane.


Has a palace made of pure gold, with stacks of Nutella cans all over the place.

According to ZANU-PF, he isn't gay, he just likes anally rapturing other men for his own sadistic enjoyment and pleasure.

First black man to cheat death, by beating Black Jesus in a poker game.

Aside From being a bloody, mercilious dictator, bent on destroying Zimbabwe and Humanity, if not indeed the whole world for his own gain, he does make a MEAN Curry Goat.

Claims to have invented Communism, along with a tasty peanut butter snack.

He was the Caboose first, than Thabo Mbeki

He is famous for having Anal sex with Idi Amin, Mswati II, and Kermit the Frog.

He is part Baboon.

Scared Shrek from his swamp, then raped Donkey.

Is Chairman of the I Have AIDS, You Have AIDS Day Week event.

Mugabe is the only man (living or dead) who can beat Nelson Mandela in a game of extreme street Bocce Ball.

It is usually considered racist to say a black person looks like a monkey, because they do not. However, it is perfectly acceptable to say Robert Mugabe looks like a monkey, because he does.

Mugabe's blood is mainly composed of pure, liquid hatred for the White Race. his heart is a beating fleshy bag of revolting filth.

Mugabe currently lives underneath Harare, Fathering an invincible warrior race of Mugabes from his 19 wives, hoping one day to claim the surface from white people, and bring on enlightened world rule with Black Jesus, Mr. T, and Bob Marley.

Bouncywikilogo10
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Robert Mugabe.

See also

Offuciel Homepaze of Hes Excollancy Robert Mugabe

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