“If I was to ask you for £1,000,000, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?”
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A paradox is a seemingly impossible situation. Kind of like trying to maintain your composure when you are eating steak at your girlfriend's house and you tell her dad that it tastes like beef jerky.
This is a List of Paradoxes. Duh.
- Zeno's Paradox: If you want to win a race, have a head start.
- Channel one paradox: There are no numbers.
- 1=2: There is 1 number.
- Toilet Paper Paradox: You will never finish a roll of toilet paper.
- Soda Paradox: If you start to drink, you will never stop.
- Hot Paradox: The hotter someone is, the uglier they are, and vice-versa to infinity.
- Asshole Paradox: The more you piss me off, the more I kick your ass.
- Chuck Norris paradox
- Goatsewin's Three Laws: About the fabled Goatse.
- Goatsewin's First Law: The more people do not want to think about Goatse the more it will be mentioned in IRC channels.
- Goatsewin's Second Law: The more people do want to think about Goatse, the more he will be mentioned in IRC channels.
- Goatsewin's Third Law: The more people don't give a shit about Goatse the more he will be mentioned in IRC channels.
- Russell's paradox: If a barber doesn't cut his own beard, what does he cut?
- Toothpaste tube paradox: The more you brush your teeth, the sooner Chairman Mao will die.
- Liar paradox: This sentance is false. Is it true?
- Fermi paradox: Americans are the only people on Earth.
- Omnipotence parodox: Could God create a book so incomprehensible that even he couldn't read it?
- Beaner paradox: A Mexican tells you that all Mexicans are liars. Is he telling the truth? Of course not, because he's a dirty, lying Mexican.
- California paradox: Is it faster to California or by train?
- Unrequited-Gay-Lovadox: Say a gay guy is in love with a straight guy, and all he wants is a straight answer.
- Work experience paradox: You can't get work without experience, but you can't get experience without work.
- Vietnamese Village paradox: we had to destroy the village in order to save it. See also Iraqi Occupation Paradox.
- Your Favorite Undiscovered Band Paradox: The band is good so people should listen to them. But once people start listening, they'll start to sell out and they won't be worth listening to.
- Rolling Stones Paradox: You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
- Damnation paradox: you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.
- Infernal Hydraulic Engineering Paradox: if you agree to build a dam for the Devil, then dammed if you do, damned if you don't.
- EPR Paradox: Ravioli defies one of the major laws of thermodynamics - that pasta can never be destroyed.
- Time paradox: If you marry your cousin, you and your brother would live in Texas.
- Temporal paradox: If Mr. T goes back in time to stop Mr. T from inventing the time machine, which Mr. T pities the fool who wanted to make a time machine?
- Infinite Paradox Theory: If you go back in time, does Mr. T pity you?
- Paradox of Choice: If I asked you for £1,000,000, would you give me it?
- Dock Paradox: A dock next to another dock.
- Grandfather Paradox: If you go back in time and you are raped by your grandfather, is that a prosecutable offense in the state of Tennessee?
- Paradox Paradox: Can a universe exist without paradoxes?
- Paradox (Arizona): A place where conspiricy theorists believe there is an alien base, but it doesn't exist. This proves that conspiracy theorists are idiots. Like you.
- Glasses paradox. You can't find your glasses in the morning, because you need glasses in order to see them.
The paradox of the pair of ducks
Suppose you have two ducks, each taller than the other.
The paradox of the pair of Doc ducks
Suppose each duck goes to college and obtains a high degree, and that now each duck is smarter than the other.
The paradox of the pair of Doc duke ducks
Suppose each duck is a member of English royalty, and each is more regal than the other.
The paradox of the pair of duke ducks' dutchesses
Suppose each duke duck also acquires a wife, each of which is more beautiful than the other.
The paradox of the pair of duke ducks' dutchesses' mandrake marmalade
Suppose this is getting absurd and that you'll have to use your own ingenuity to formulate this situation.
- Two Lists of Paradoxes, each one more correct than the other.
- Two people, each more famous than the other.
- Optical illusion
- Jigsaw puzzle
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