Nazi Zombies

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*'''Winter’s Howl''': A special gun that has been modified to shoot ice instead of bullets, because ice is so much stronger than metal. Zombies will see this failure of a weapon, and laugh themselves to death.
 
*'''Winter’s Howl''': A special gun that has been modified to shoot ice instead of bullets, because ice is so much stronger than metal. Zombies will see this failure of a weapon, and laugh themselves to death.
 
--[[User:Javi2639|Javi2639]] 17:31, December 30, 2010 (UTC)
 

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A COMPLETELY unracist game in which the point is to kill a shit ton of Germans. Germans are next to Mexicans and Arabs and reproduce fast, so they will never stop coming at you. The game is also unracist in the fact that that it portrays Germans as stumbling morons that have bad skin and teeth that try to kill anything alive. The point of the game is to kill the zombies and magically get points from it, then using the points to buy guns from the wall that technically should be removable without the spending of said points, open doors or clear debris that will magically fly away in a ball of lightning when you buy it, and to survive as long as possible so you can then brag to your friends how you got to level 234,987 and totally without modding or glitching. And when you show them your photographic evidence, they are astounded and have never heard of Photoshop before.

Ten Commandments of Online Play

1. Thou shalt take the game way too seriously.

2. Thou shalt take the Death Machine when thoust has 57,210 points instead of letting the person with 10 points have it.

3. Thou shalt sing for the sole purpose of annoying other players.

4. Thou shalt run out of the safe zone to get the Death Machine, then blame others when thou gets downed.

5. Thou shalt take a piss in the middle of the round.

6. Thou shalt leave thy windows to steal other people’s kills, then blame everyone else when the zombies breach from thine own window.

7. Thou shalt not buy any doors and make the person with 50 points buy it.

8. Thou shalt kill the crawler when everybody is buying guns or perks.

9. Thou shalt use the Mystery Box continuously and not give the person who has no ammo a chance.

10. Thou shalt not revive others, but instead T-bag the downed players until thyself gets killed

Types of Zombies

  • Nazi Zombie: Your average German man, that will come at you in every direction and touch your balls twice, making you fall to the ground and start to cry until somebody can come with a blunt that will numb the pain.
  • Zombie Dogs: Dogs that come magically appear in a ball of lightning and try to bite your dick off.
  • Little Bitch Doctor: A German that was released from the mental hospital that will run at you and steal your gun, as he gets sexual pleasure from it. He has sex hair and leaves a cloud of red cocaine behind him.
  • Gas Zombies: These zombies are actually Jews from local concentration happy fun camps that have been gassed with super fun carbon monoxide or have died from playing the super fun game pizza and have decided to crawl at you and try to touch your balls with their best friends, the Nazis.
  • Chuck Norris: Comes on level 509,124 and cannot be killed, but will kill you if you look at him, hear him, or think about him.

Utilities

There are several utilities in the game that give you teddy bears to shoot with or send you to random places on the map.

  • Mystery Box: A wooden box that will give open and jizz out a gun for you. These guns are mostly pistols, ballistic knives, or a teddy bear, the best most ultimate gun in the game.
  • Teleporter: Sends you to random places all around the map, but never to where you really need to go.
  • Pack-A-Punch Machine: A big vending machine that will take your Chinese made gun and replace it with an American one that will shoot lightning and is much better made. Will also give it steroids and crack to make it shoot hella fast and look scary.

Power-Ups

Power-Ups are magical glowing things that will give you stuff that makes killing easier.

  • Insta-Kill: Lets you run around like a dumbass and defy the laws of physics by making a zombie’s head explode with one swing of a 6 inch combat knife.
  • Double Points: Gives you more money to buy gun outlines on the wall (wtf?) or to call a team of movers to move a couch that was inconveniently placed.
  • Nuke: Makes all zombies go away, but not before he touches your balls and makes you lose your perks.
  • Max Ammo: Gives you the full amount of ammo you can possibly carry, because full pistol ammo is totally better than a machine gun.
  • Fire Sale: Switches the owners of the Mystery Box from Jews to Asians, and they sell you guns that have been made in sweatshops at 127,981,234% cheaper.
  • Death Machine: Gives you a giant metal dildo with 6 smaller dildos on it that will spin and vibrate and make the zombies orgasm to death.

Perks

Perks are magical shots of alcohol usually laced with some serious shit that will fuck you up. They get you so wasted that, in your world, everything is AMAZING.

  • Jugger-Nog: A drink for the Christmas season, that gives you a stronger scrotum that will take many more zombie squeezes before you fall down and start crying.
  • Double Tap Root Beer: Yes root beer, which contains no alcohol, that’s bad for you. Makes your gun shoot doubly fast that will take the Chinese made parts to their limits.
  • Speed Cola: Basically vodka laced with crack mixed with cola. Makes you reload at the speed of light, but in your world, everything is slow…
  • Quick Revive: Replaces your weed with opium, which numbs the your friend’s pain of a zombie touching his balls much faster.

Wonder Weapons

Wonder weapons are Jesus in disguise and shoot balls of energy that have been dipped in AIDS. This infects the zombies and kills them eventually.

  • Gay Gun: Makes 12 year old jizz when gotten. Decreases the chance they will hit puberty by 6,579% and increases their annoyance by 96,320%.
  • Wonder Waffle DG-2: A huge toaster waffle that shoots chocolate chips and blueberries at the zombies. They will eat them, get food poisoning, and die.
  • Monkey Bomb: A monkey that has volunteered to become a kamikaze and run at a group of zombies with a bomb strapped to its chest. They are the Arabs of the monkey world.
  • Thunder Gun: A cannon that shoots a cloud of cocaine laced with cancer that will get the zombies high, then kill them.
  • Winter’s Howl: A special gun that has been modified to shoot ice instead of bullets, because ice is so much stronger than metal. Zombies will see this failure of a weapon, and laugh themselves to death.
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