Monster House (film)
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Haunted House (2005 Film)
“I was disappointed Chowder didn't have a nude scene”
“I rike wen munsta house eat fat bastard”
“I hated that DJ was entering puberty”
“I saw it as a metaphor for ethnic violence in Africa, but apparently it was about a monster house.”
“Barney! MY PEBBLES!”
The film, Haunted House, was the 2nd film from Beanbag Productions. It was written by Mr. Bean, himself and was actually directed by Monty Python veteran (but also a famous film director in America) Terry Gilliam. The film released in the UK on January 3, 2005, and adjusted to American dollars (since I am a dumb ass) it's said to have made around $375 million.
D.J. Tanner- a kid who lives across from the house and wants to destroy it before Halloween.
Chowder Beeblebrox- DJ's fat friend who likes to party and go trick-or-treating.
Jenny Craig- a girl from a private school who hangs out with the boys and is trying to lose weight (she weighs 78 lbs).
Old Man Smithers- the grouchy old man who owns the house.
Since the movie runs at 141 minutes, the movie starts out with how the cavemen began to live in caves and soon how they start building houses. Then it goes forward in time to the first Halloween and then to present day to where the film takes place. DJ's family goes to a Mr. Bean convention ( wink wink), leaving DJ to be babysat by a goth girl who throws a huge party where hundreds of goth teens come and do what you imagine they'd do at a party. DJ is more concentrating on Old Man Smither's old house. Every person who sets foot on Smither's lawn is usually yelled and screamed at by him, and if the person has something, Old Man Smither's takes it away. When Chowder comes to visit, he loses his bath pillow on Smither's lawn. DJ tries to rescue it, only to get yelled at by Smithers, who gets a heart attack and is taken to a hospital. DJ and Chowder spend time watch the house eat things and a few people until they save a girl named Jenny from being eaten. They soon come up with a plan to go inside the house. They light a sack of weed from Chowder's house to get the house stoned so they can go inside. Inside, they find all the stuff taken from people and a Bengal tiger buried under cement. The kids are barffed out of the house and find Smithers returning home. After they explain what happened, Smithers tells them during the war, he saw a circus and saw a Bengal tiger. When no one was looking, he freed the tiger and got married to it. As their house was being built, kids began to torment the tiger and began chasing them until the tiger fell into the house and was buried alive in cement. The tiger's spirit possessed the house. Soon, Old Man Smithers and the kids are chased by th house,who pulls itself out of the ground. They lead it to the ocean, where it falls off a cliff and sinks into the ocean and Halloween is saved(and kids steal the stuff from the house)!
Release of the film
The movie released January 3 2005 in the UK and got a PG rating.The movie became a huge success. In America, the film was released on DVD on July 21, 2005. Originally, the MPAA gave the film an R rating because of the weed scene and some very brief violence, but after remembering that they gave G-ratings to Disney animated films such as Pinocchio, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 101 Dalmatians, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, and Alien3, they gave the film a PG rating, since the film was aimed at familly audiences. The film was also retitled Monster House. Also, the beginning of the film featuring the cavemen and the first Halloween was cut in the American version, leaving the running time 111 minutes. On disc 2 of the DVD, the original version of the film can be seen.
-Haunted House was put in the Guinness Book of World Records because it was the first animated movie to have a man eating his own head.
-The house's scream when it falls off the cliff is from Godzilla.
-Shrek hates this movie.
-A Broadway musical version of the film began on October 1, 2005 and is still on tour today.
“UHG UHG! OOGA BOOGA!!!”
“Aw, man. This is gunna hurt.”
“Something weird is going on at Old Man Smither's and he's not making tuna sandwiches like last time!”
“Have you called Jenny yet?”
“My balls are itchy.”
“Now I can go on to do what I always wanted to do: being an entertainer at children's parties!”
“SOMEBODY GRABBED MY ASS!!!!”