Matthew Bellamy

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Matthew Bellamy (Born June 9th, 1978) is singer, guitarist, pianist, bassist and drummer of 3 piece band Muse, his dramatic, apocalyptic, orgasmic style of rock has brought joy to millions of french people.

His Youth

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Bellamy, after taking yet another wet willy from William Gallas and Nicolas Anelka after school

Matt is part of the famous Bellamy family. His youth was spent growing up in his native France, in the town of Bordeaux. He is son of David Bellamy (The famous horticulturist and wine maker), and twin brother of famous footballer Craig Bellamy (Who is also known as the "Hunchback of Tyneside"). Matt has no clue of the identity of his mother, but has numerous tattoos around his body containing vital clues on who/where she might be. He spent much of his time trying to track her down, yet the final clue he found before stardom interrupted is that she may have been killed by a poisoned burger (See Memento for information on this phenomona).

Despite his fathers laboured attempts, Matt never took an interest in nature, and the only time he tried playing football, he was told he ran like a girl. From the age of 1, Matt started to learn piano. He began on a blues route, and after dabbling with the greens and oranges, he taught himself the classical style. He had incredible natural talent due to extremly spidery figners, and currently he can span 3 octaves with one hand.

He was picked on at school due to his lack of football skills, his lanky body frame, and often heard various insults shouted at him on the playground such as "Quel con!", "Nique ta mère!", "Enculé de ta mére!", and "Ta mere suce des bites en enfer!". He often consoled himself with some of his father's wine, and got smashed down by the vineyard. Starting a band was his way of dealing with his emotional pain (Hence the emotional nature of the songs).

Early Days of Muse

After getting Pierre Kellyholmes and Dominique Howard on board, Muse could come into existence. This sparks the most crucial time in Matt's life. His search for his mother was put on hold, and Matt began practicing his famous sex faces for when on stage, video, or in bed with groupies. Songs such as Showbiz and Muscle Museum warn us of the dangers of letting fame get to your head. In 1999 Matt opened his Muscle Museum, which contained 73 clay models of himself, with increased muscle tissue.

Ascension Comes

With the huge success of OverTheTop records, Origin of Symmetry and Absolution, Matt actually did officially become a demi-god. His big headedness was replaced with humbleness. He recieved invites to live in Valhalla and Elysium but declined in favour of staying in the mortal world so he could continue his new project, to create the ultimate guitar.

Mattocasters

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An artists impression of the Mattocastor MKVII

The real reason for the feeling of massiveness we get when hearing one of Muse's songs, such as New Born, or Marseille Syndrome is due to the power of his custom made guitars, the Mattocasters. Mattocastors are created by Hanson at their famous guitar shop in Nantes. Matt called in one day (As he had heard there were some pretty girls there), and knew as soon as he walked in that Hanson were the ones to make his new instruments. Some argue that these are the ultimate instruments of evil, and that they will one day destroy the planet. Others argue that they are a now a neccesity, and that without them, life would no longer be worth living. Currently there are around 10 Mattocastors in existence.

  • Silver Mattocaster: As well as being a crazy custom shape, this is fitted with a Z.Vex Fuzz Factory, MXR Phase 90 phaser, Seymour Duncan and Kent Armstrong pickups.
  • Mattocaster MKII: New additions to this beast include hypnosis unit, and a hidden P-90 SMG to replace the Seymour Duncan pickup.
  • Mattocastor MKIII: This one got a state of the art laser for slicing people up, as well as the technology to activate nucleur missiles from all US and Soviet bases. At a gig in Baghdad, the guitar was almost stolen by terrorists hailing from Derka Derkastan. However Pierre Kellyholmes and Dominique Howard foiled the plans just in the nick of time.
  • Various other Mattocasters: Currently these have been confiscated by MI5 and no further information can be given on them.
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