Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
May 23: Stoat Molesting Night
818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time.
1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
1834 - The Force puts a DO NOT DISTURB sign on her door.
1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little.
1936 - Joseph Stalin's tye dye phase ends after only one day due to heavy criticism from peasants. Stalin then orders the death of all peasants.
1976 - Syracuse, New York begins the annual Punch an Old Person festival. Results in 128,693 fatalities.
1985 - The Force is disturbed by its obnoxious roommate at 3 a.m. The Force becomes pissed.
2000 - B.O. level in Otakon reaches intolerable levels, government issues airstrikes.
2001 - TimeWarner merges with Canadian Canned Worms TM.
2002 - Canadian Canned Worms TM TimeWarner buys Microsoft.
2006 - Ask Hal 9000 created.
2007 - President George W. Bush accidentally knocks over his ant farm and cries.
2011 - You Read May 22nd's "On this Day" section.
2012 - May 23rd, 2012 hasn't happened yet.
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.