Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
Eat a Live Piglet Day (Schenectady, New York; Griffin, Georgia)
1124 - King David the Lastnameless takes the throne of Scotland
1294 - Scotland calls Franch a bunch of pussies. Angry grumbling ensues.
1368 - The Big Bad Wolf is found guilty of vandalism and mouth robbery, and is sentenced to 30 hours of social work.
1509 - Pope Julius II places the Italian state of Venice under interdict. The interdict arose from finding the state warm and moist.
1521 - Magellan arrives in the Philippines. The locals invite him in for dinner.
1555 - You are born, but die of cholera by age eight. You don't remember this previous life because you were born a moron.
1945 - USA and USSR meet for the first time in Germany, starting a love affair to last several decades.
1949 - Texas becomes the first US State to outlaw Cheese, following the discovery of a Soviet covert chedder ring operating in Houston.
1966 - NASA scientists propose using Dusty Springfield's 11-mile tall bouffant to get to the moon.
1981 - I got laid!
1984 - The Libyan Embassy in London is taken hostage by a VW campervan, ending in the shooting of Dr Emmett Brown.
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that Iran is all set to invade itself?
...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.