Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
September 17: Horny Day, Hypnotic Sex Change Day
2,000,000 BC - Primate ancestor to humans steals the first peach. Thus inventing the awkward mixing of horniness and disturbing violence.
1,000,000 BC - First human discovers horniness.
1787 - Several horny old men sign the Constitution of the United Spades of Amerika
1800 - Sigmund Freud hypnotizes Freud into believing he is a French hooker. Unfortunately, she is an expensive one, and Sigmund Freud goes bankrupt.
1801 - Freud hypnotizes Sigmund Freud into believiing he is Marie Antoinette.
1802 - Sigmund Freud exacts his revenge by hypnotizing Freud into thinking he is Princess Leia.
1803 - Freud hypnotizes Sigmund Freud into believing he is a Swiss milk maid who has married him. Nine months later, Sigmund Freud inexplicably gives birth to a basketball.
1804 - Sigmund Freud divorces Freud, and receives the entire estate in the settlement.
1900 - The world's 1,000,000,000,000th human orgasm (but only the 84,379th female orgasm) occurs in Plovdiv, Bulgaria
1932 - New state phallic symbols capitol buildings are dedicated in Nebraska, Louisiana
1954 - Drive-in gay porn theatre debuts in San Francisco; Joseph McCarthy hosts ribbon-cutting ceremony
1975 - The world's tallest free-standing phallic symbol, the CN Tower, is completed in Toronto.
1989 - Horny Gene discovered in Ducks
1993 - Debbie does Dallas, Ohio and New Orleans
2005 - Research shows that Uncyclopedians are more virile than Wikipedians
2006 - Osama bin Laden found in bed in a Motel 6 with a Horny Goat
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
...that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.