Today's Featured Article
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
and Todd "Howlin'" Lyons worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Some "Fingers" User .
Tomb of the Unknown Contributor
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
On this day...
Female Awareness Day, International December 22: Orgasm Day
5000 BC(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?"
600 BC - YHWH creates woman - twice
0000 - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin
1000 - Spaghetti Monster creates sex.
1231 - God creates Vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster.
1337 - Counter-Strike is invented
1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty Vibrator.
1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump.
1923 - LSD is first manufactured, diarrhea of epic solar proportions ensues.
1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo.
1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded
1974 - Gay men blame women for AIDS.
1989 - The end of the world as we know it. Surprisingly, most people are either indifferent or quite fine about the whole thing.
1989 - Pixies send Monkeys to Heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale.
1991 - Man loses his religion, but later finds he left it in the corner, silly man.
2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented.
2006 - World peace declared.
2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares.
2012 - Everyone realizes they're not dead.
3434 - Vin Diesel is cloned from one of his last remaining pubic hairs, discovered in Margaret Thatcher's vagina.
5000 - Science descovers a "female orgasm", she was faking...
Word of the Day
Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
Oscar Wilde of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint Editors -human hybrid to manage Recent News.
earwig was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
Jesus people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
Gothic The commit mass suicide, but emos nobody cares...duh...
Mourners flow through the streets of in New York fashion, melodramatic demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
All are wearing black armbands.
Uncyclopedians The are comitting mass seppuku.
Japanese The are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In British France, rioting ensues.
Physicists at publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
IITb The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
All the are drunk. All the Russians are Dutch . Peyote use at an alarming high among stoned .
Native Americans In the the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
middle east The have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542- 1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
...that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
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