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Today's Featured Article - New Hampshire

NH State House (snowy)

New Hampshire is a state of the United States, much like Vermont only right-side up, and with 85% fewer hippies. If it weren't for the state's three public colleges, New Hampshire would be classified as a Confederate state, due to its high White Trash population and its tendency to rebel at the threat of losing the first primary.

This leafy suburb of Boston is sometimes called New Hamster or Cow Hampshire to reflect the state's dominant populations. ("Jew Hampshire" has also been heard, though natives are hardly orthodox but merely cheap, often contriving an impromptu yard-sale before the weekly garbage truck arrives.) Its capital is Concord, a name that deceptively suggests harmonious agreement, but whose real fame is the fact that the offices of Village Fool and Town Drunk are the only ones with more candidates than seats.

When asked to name all 50 states, 84% of schoolchildren fail to name New Hampshire. This figure drops to 62% when testing schoolchildren within New Hampshire. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Constitution of the United States (actual text)

Sigs

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Section I. Any male constituent who has attained the Age of Twenty-One years shall vote for a nobleman of his choosing to represent him in the executive legislature. He shall freely cast his choice on a ballot in a designated voting bureau and deposit the ballot in a box. After all the constituents accomplished their duty of Citizenry, the box contents shall be dumped in the nearest river and the predetermined winner be announced to the People.

Section II. Any elected representative in the Land of the Free shall receive 10 slaves Free of charge, only shipping and handling to pay and shall be refunded if not satisfied before 30 days.(more...)

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February 2: Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni

  • CA 3541 - Emit Tsrif Eht Rof Sdrawkcab Skaeps Yessirrom Nhoj.
  • CA 8361 - Dednuof Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni.
  • CA 0591 - Dedne Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni.
  • CA 0462 - Dednuofer Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni.
  • CA 6002 - Detucexe Lyo Evilo Sah Hsub, Noinu Eht Fo Etats Eht Ot Esnopser Ni
  • 0202 - Setad fo tuo nekat 'CA'.
  • 6X02 - !!Ecued Elbuod
  • 1901 - !A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!
  • 1942 - secnetnes sdrawkcab stnevni tluc txet der
  • 2004 - .uhcakiP a otni snrut hsa.
  • 2006 !AAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA
  • 173461 - Niaga - Dedne Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni!
  • 164374 - serac ydoboN.

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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month

David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


Noobaward

If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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