Main Page
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|
Welcome to Rodong Sinmun, the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 30,313 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.
Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Atheism | Party line |
Today's Party ColumnToday's Featured Article - UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the MoonEvery wide-eyed toddler knows that man went to the moon in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Way before computers and other advanced technology even existed, twelve of their ancestors walked upon the lunar surface. They picked up rocks, set up American flags, rode around in fully-loaded dune buggies, hit golf balls, posed for thousands of manipulated glossy photographs, and even passed urine in their suits. The moon was man's space-pearl for a few glorious years. And then in 1972 it was left alone to rot in the sun. The twelve astronauts who'd visited it passed away and became icons, then legends, then historical action figures, then toys, and even pink dildos. The nickname "Buzz" took on a sexual connotation, Apollo turned into a famous Scandinavian ska-rapper, and Tranquility Base became a Paris bordello. Man had gloriously conquered the moon, only to spend the remainder of his time trying to convince people it was even true, what to speak of Yesterday's Featured Article - Cotswold Olimpick GamesThe Cotswold Olimpick Games is an annual public celebration of games and sports now held every May in what is now Athol, a small town named, probably by someone with a lisp, after the late Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. This town is in the Cotswolds of England, probably; hence the name, probably. The Games began in 1612, and have continued, more intermittently than the region's electricity, to the present day. They were started by a local lawyer, Cliff Dover, who said he had the approval of the current King of England, a claim you virtually had to make in order to sanction a crowd of thousands of mostly drunk Englishmen. Dover's motivation in organising the Games may have been his belief that physical exercise was necessary for the defence of the realm, but he may also have believed that accretion of lucre was necessary for the defence of his own old age. Consequently, steep admission fees were charged to all classes of society, including royalty on one occasion, and His Majesty actually paid it, the doddering old coot. (More...) You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device Our glorious historyJune 20: "Have A Nice" Day Day; Nice Day Appreciation Day (NZ);Just Another Day (Earth)
|
Today's hangul word is | |||
Today in the DPRK
It is an irreputable fact...
You cannot deny...
| ||||
Recently publishedYanggakdo International Hotel || Heinz Guderian | International Airplanes Trafficking Association | Stray Cats | Poetry Free For All | Armenian Federation | Boxes | Brian Cox impressions | Cotswold Olimpick Games | Ministries of the UK Government | Turban | HMS Ocean | Soyuz Rocket | Declaration of Gin-Dependence | President Hoover | UnDebate:Is it the size of the ship or the motion in the ocean? | UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the Moon | Will Harridge | Wellington (RW) | Poptropica | UnDebate:Is "Point-Counterpoint" a useful style of debate? | HowTo:Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope |
| ||||
Party members of the month
If you find Rodong Sinmun or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:
For party-approved meetings among citizens, see this government declaration. Protected by nuclear missiles, and an elite clan of fanatics. |
||||

