|The literal and inerrant encyclopedia you can trust.
Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the too-liberal Conservapedia here.
Today's Featured Article - Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby is a well-respected comedienne, actor, writer, activist, and an alleged serial rapist. Alleged, meaning he didn't do it. Cosby got his first big break on the San Francisco comedy scene, where he developed his unique sense of humor and did not commit a single sexual assault, despite what those lying whores say. He began his acting career with a starring role on the 1960s television series "I Spy", where he and Robert Culp pointed out things they saw with their little eyes and did not drug and rape anybody. There were no charges filed, and there's no proof Cosby did anything. I Spy became a hit, and Cosby became a household name, dethroning Sidney Poitier as the least threatening black man in America. You don't get the title of least threatening black man in America by raping people. Just saying.
Cosby's success continued in the 70s with the children's cartoon Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids, which sought to entertain children as well as teach them. Saying you want the man who created that show to get locked up for crimes he didn't commit is the same thing as saying you hate children. In the 80s, Cosby reached the height of his popularity with The Cosby Show, which I can no longer watch on TV Land because a bunch of sluts decided to tarnish Cosby's good name. When I could watch it, I got to see the adventures of Cliff Huxtable and his family who loved him and who would never turn their backs on him like America turned their backs on Cosby. I wish more people were like the Huxtables.
In the only bad move of his career, Cosby appeared in the 1987 spy movie Leonard Part 6, which was so bad Cosby himself told people not to watch it, because he has integrity and would never lie to the public. (more...)
SAFED, Palestine - U.S. President Barack Obama signed an agreement with Palestinean President Mahmoud Abbas today to trade in the processing of the region's urban rubble, having failed to reach any agreement to stop creating it.
The so-called Trans-Palestinian Partnership will gradually phase out tariffs, duties, inspections, and the role of the U.S. Congress in the movement of Grade A broken concrete blocks across national boundaries.
It was non-alcoholic beverages and mild gratitude to Allah as Mr. Abbas and Mr. Obama publically declared that a Palestine/US economic future "is buried firmly in the trenchant rubble that plagues our streets."
In a candid interview on Israel TV, Mr. Obama said he has thrown in the towel on a peace agreement between Israel and a Palestinian state, as he could hardly get his head around the Wikipedia entry, let alone reason with Abbas. Mr. Obama said at least all parties were better off with a financial agreement in the raw-materials sector.
The employment rate in Palestine also increased by 0.6%, as tens of Palestinians rushed to join the President's new "Palestinian Rubble Liberation Union (PRLU)". At the same time, a "Fatah Debris and General Workers Union" was formed to protect the PRLU Union members from the PRLU, and a "Hamas Union of Fragments" to protect the already established Islamic Rubble Movement. (more...)