From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
- Bienvenue à, l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. Sophia a établi 30,955 comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre et le manuel de neutralité!
- Willkommen an, sorgt die neutrale Enzyklopädie dafür gänzlich von Käse, daß jeder veröffentlichen kann, wenn sie ausreichende Fonds haben. Sophia hat 30,955 Bankkonten eröffnet, die seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 numeriert wurden. Vor der Ausgabe lesen die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!
- Benvenuto al, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 30,955 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.
Today's Featured Account
Today's Featured Article - Cruel and unusual punishment
Cruel and unusual punishment is a platitude found in the Eighth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The Amendment, like the rest of the Bill of Rights, was written to ensure that the new American nation would not suffer from the excesses of the former English overlords, such as drawing-and-quartering, death by torture (no matter how entertaining it was to contemplate it being done to Mel Gibson in Braveheart), or repeats of Mr. Bean.
That the Founding Founders in the execution-happy colonies would have written an amendment to ban executions entirely is so unthinkable that it has taken the finest minds in the United States to explain why it means exactly this.
Most uses of the Eighth Amendment in the U.S. court system therefore concern executions, the exception being the rare lawsuit to demand premium cable channels on prison televisions. In fact, no prisoner has ever been drawn-and-quartered or tortured in the United States at all. And slavery, the Alternative Minimum Tax, and Instant Replay in Major League Baseball are technically not even "punishments."
The Supreme Court, then, has had the task of understanding what the Founders could have meant by writing an Amendment that, on the surface, seems meaningless. In the American renaissance called the Great Society, it first occurred to the Court that the death penalty itself could be "cruel and unusual punishment."
As in most things, the Court advanced this "jurisprudence" gradually, first saving from execution only:
Recently featured: Cruel and unusual punishment
Yesterday's Featured Article -
You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured.
Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.
Obviously you didn't know...
From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States:
Katie Hopkins | Audiophile | Tofurkey | Debug (film) | Jelly beans | Scurvy | Selfie stick | Al Stewart | Ð | Miniaturization | Magazine | Turtle | Pyramid scheme | Joseph Kony | Metroid (species) | Project Gemini | Liberal Party of Australia (rw) | Hand of God | Speed Racer (rw) | Temporal paradox (rw) | UnBooks:Suffer the Little Children | She Blinded Me with Science | New meat from the writing competition: | |
Writer of the Month