Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 15:06, July 4, 2005 by Rcmurphy (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search

My Readie-Thingie

Welcome Americans!!! This is the fun, exciting easy-read place on your computer. You can read your collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets magically edited just for you!!! Don't be shy - it's content-free!!!



Sophia has made us work on 30,918 articles just for you!!!.

Because your so smart, and because this is on you're computer, you can even edit if you want to. You don't need help, but if you're bored, read all about learning to speel and dealing with the gnomes in your computer.

Browse:

Great Leaders | things to play with | things to play with that beep | other People | silly | long words
Most Favourite | words in order of the alphabet (A is for Apple,B is for Bus) | Other scary things...



WeStandAsOne

Land of the free!
Home of the brave!

Today's show and tell

Today's Featured Article - NBC

NBC 2014

NBC is an American television corporation. During television's "golden age," NBC was a big member of the "Big Three," which tirelessly presented the same content as its two rivals.

In the modern era, NBC has split into dozens of niche channels and projects, which swim in every American's video bloodstream like an antibody looking for an infectious idea to latch onto and destroy.

NBC was begun by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA), eventually to stand proudly alongside CBS and ABC. This was the reassuring 20th Century, in which everything big had a three-letter abbreviation. There was no torture of terrorists but merely DOD, and RET to the ROK, and welfare was simply HUD and HEW, and even spoke English without an African American accent, LOL. It was a nation where Grandpa still had decades left before discovering that permanent foreign involvement and the welfare state didn't work — and even after he did, he would keep getting checks in the mail from the SSA.

RCA had acquired two radio stations, WJZ in Newark and WEAF in New York City. RCA was perturbed that WEAF had more than three letters, and no less perturbed that no one could listen to both stations at the same time (as people had at most one radio).

At the time, no one wanted to listen to even one radio station, and they did so only because the only alternative was going outdoors and listening to sirens and gunshots. The scientists of the day were experimenting with using radio to send pictures as well as sounds, and RCA management was experimenting with running two businesses without two staffs. "We are starting a network" became a more pleasing posture than, "We are firing all the employees and keeping their pay."(more...)

Recently featured: NBC - Raphael

Yesterday's Featured Article - Raphael

Raphael-3

Raphael (1483-1520), he of the sickly smiling Madonna and Child paintings, the School of Athens fresco at the Vatican and the Galatea slap-on work, hasn't aged so well as regards his artistic reputation. No one cites him as an influence except the purveyors of the chocolate box school of artists whose work can often be found staring down at you from Catholic Church cathedrals. Raphael lived well and died in his late 30s, just before he would have lost his hair and developed a paunch.

Raphael became exceedingly filthy rich, successful and the toast of Renaissance Rome. He must have been insufferable to all those who crossed his path: Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo could rare agree on anything but both hated the 'boy' with intense passion, especially Michelangelo who was rumoured to have been turned down for a bit of man-on-man action with the young pretender when they both worked on the Sistine Chapel. He could have become a saint except in the manner of his death - a heart attack after some rigorous in-studio rogering of his favourite mistress Margherita Luti.

Born Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino, 'Raphe' grew up with angelic kiss-me-quick hair curls and a smile that got him a lot of work - and clients amongst the cassock lifters in the Roman Catholic Church. These were the days before Martin Luther's banging rude jokes on church doors and at time when the Papacy was in a full, florid corruption that so angered the sober sided Christians that they would later smash up churches in the manner of Gaiseric the Vandal a thousand years earlier.

Blessed with Italian pretty boy genes and a smeary palette, Raphael soon showed he knew how to get work. This essentially meant from two sources: The Catholic Church or rich italians who wanted to boast of their achievements and attractions with portraits. Others wanted suitable cultural pagan myths illustrated for bedroom stimulation. In reply, Raphael just gave them a lot of Madonnas with Jesus sitting pretty on her lap. (more...)

You can put your mark for your most favoriteist things to be taken to show and tell.

More favoriteist things from show and tell


What happend long ago today

Pat-sajak

March 29: Get Down And Boogie Day in Orthodox Funk.

What happend long ago other days

Things that the nice man on the telly next to the pretty lady are telling you (betwen adverts)


Bottled water.jpg



What things are happening


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's mommies and daddies:

  • ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?


find out more

Monkey of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners



stuff we want to see in show and tell | Too many long words! | Make more shitty un-funny one liners | pages that have the lurgy and no other pages will sit next to | Please tell me a story about...

A Loooooong list of other groups of things about stuff · learn all about speaking funny · If you speak funny (not American) then GO HOME!


To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to#uncyclopedia @ FreeNode.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an special clan of funny peolple in Jim-Jams.

Personal tools
projects