Main Page
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
May 18: Eat Your Meat Day (India)
- 4829 BC - Oedipus Rex kills his mother and marries his father.
- 10 - Hannibal crosses the Alps and eats his enemies.
- 875 - The first SAT test is administered.
- 876 - The first SAT prep academy is founded.
- 1664 - The FBI is founded.
- 1810 - FWAAC is outlawed.
- 1910 - George Bush does not get any pudding
- 1948 - Time Magazine's printing press malfunctions. Time pauses for 5 hours and 23 minutes.
- 1972 - Marylin Manson is born. He cries.
- 1975 - Humpty Dumpty falls off the Berlin Wall.
- 2006 - The Nike Revolution starts.
- 2007 - Veggies are outlawed.
- 2007 - Marylin Manson smiles, looks in the mirror and then cries again.
- 2014 - Your mom has an erection.
- 2940 - The first T-rex is spotted since Jurassic times.
- Kim il-Thatch dead and not loving it
- Dead rapper does an Elvis in the Middle East
- Gangster's uzi kills gangster's wife
- Diamond found inside cubic zirconium
Declaration of Gin-Dependence | President Hoover | UnDebate:Is it the size of the ship or the motion in the ocean? | HowTo:Decorate your cunt for Easter | UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the Moon | Will Harridge | Wellington (RW) | Poptropica | UnDebate:Is "Point-Counterpoint" a useful style of debate? | HowTo:Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope | UnScripts:Tony Hancock: The Sperm Donor | Nillion | Great Library of Alexandria |
May 18, 2013
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's Featured Article - Question Authority
|
The Question Authority is an agency of the United States government, organized within the federal Department of Utterances. The Question Authority has general responsibility for all questions asked and answered in the United States, including its territories and possessions. Notably, when customs agents of the Department of Homeland Security interrogate persons wishing to enter the U.S., they do so through questions vetted by the Question Authority.
The Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution protects Americans "against unreasonable searches and seizures." It would seem, then, that the government would need a "reasonable" basis to ask anyone any question at all. Well, Buster, "it would seem" wrong! There is ample precedent for the government to ask a wide variety of questions, including:
- Have you bought health insurance that pays the full cost of smoking cessation counseling?
- Are you the nigger who robbed the gas station, or do you just look like him?
- May I rummage through the trunk of your car, or do you feel like waiting here for three hours for me to get a warrant?
- What was that noise? Did you hear that?
(more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Probability theory
|
Probability theory was developed by Gerolamo Cardano, Pierre de Fermat and Blaise Pascal. In this research team, there was no cooperation at all, because they all lived at different times and were too lazy to invent the time machine. So the development of this theory lasted for centuries and is (probably) not yet finished. Cardano et al. were all committed into mental hospitals late in their lives. What are the odds against that? It is not clear whether they were actually mentally disoriented, or merely seemed to be, because of answering simple yes-and-no questions by speculating about "the chances."
The reason for this theory — as mathematicians do things only on purpose — is unknown to humanity. But some think that these scientists had had enough of answering the questions exactly and decided that with the theory of probability it would be a way easier. But when they were told that they were not doing their job properly, to complicate the situation more, these mathematicians developed some incomprehensible formulas to prove the opposite.
The theory of probability should be used in several cases:
- When you don't want to give a direct answer to a question
- When you don't have an answer to a question but want to make people think that you do
- When you want to complicate everything you have said and make everyone confused
People who very often use the theory of probability are called politicians. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
May 18, 2013
- ...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ...that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ...that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
And some others, in case you missed them...
May 18, 2013
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
 |
Wind turbines emitting harmless, zero-carbon steam as part of their normal operating process. Image Credit: Lantash |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
May 18, 2013
Congratulations for May's Writer and Noob of the Month!
 Seriously, we love you. |
 Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many |
 HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
|
Views
Personal tools
projects
