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|style="width:56%;"|
font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</p><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p><br />
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<div style="float: left; text-align:center;padding-left:20px;white-space: nowrap;">
Before editing, please read the '''''[[Beginner's Guide]]''''' and browse '''''[[Help:Contents|the Big Five]].'''''<br />
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{{Dotw{{CURRENTDAYNAME}}}} <!-- Rotating daily announcement thing. Saturday = day that Colonizations are pimped, hopefully this is not too annoying for the front page. See Template:DotwSaturday for example. -->
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Welcome to '''[[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]]'''</h1>
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<div style="position: relative; top: +0.2em; font-size: 95%;">the '''[[content-free]]''' '''encyclopedia''' that '''[[Anonymous|anyone can edit]]'''</div></div>
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<p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]] | [[:Category:People|People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> '''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Best of]] | [[Special:Allpages|Alphabetical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Categories...]]'''</p>
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''[[Beginner's Guide]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|The Big Five]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Style]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Questions]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Help]] '''&middot;''' [[Worst 100 Money Making Schemes of All Time|Donations]]''
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[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Categories]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Featured content]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|A&ndash;Z index]]
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|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd|{{CURRENTMONTH}}|{{CURRENTDAY}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
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|[[Image:Hand_grenade.jpg|left|200px|Hand Grenade]]
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More of the best of Uncyclopedia]]'''
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The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.
   
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<small>Photo credit: [[User:Mosquitopsu|Mosquitopsu]]</small><br>
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<small>[[Uncyclopedia:PFP|Archive]] - [[Uncyclopedia:VFP|Nominate new image]]</small>
<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
 
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
 
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<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd|{{CURRENTMONTH}}|{{CURRENTDAY}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
 
{{Recentnews}}
 
<br/>Need advice? [mailto:cthulhu@uncyclopedia.org Ask] [[UnNews:Ask_Cthulhu|Cthulhu]]!
 
 
'''[[UnNews:Main_Page|More Current Events at UnNews News]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
 
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Revision as of 05:00, February 26, 2006

Welcome to Uncyclopedia

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Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's featured article

Today's Featured Article - Community

Meet-the-clangers

A community is a collection of humans, thought of as an undifferentiated unit. This means that individual differences of opinion can be denied, disparaged, or dealt with through unactionable campaign promises or Special Limited-Time Offers. Why one should think of humans as an undifferentiated unit is an open question. It works for a herd of grazing cows; they demonstrate all the typical traits of a community. By comparison, if the human world were a community, one would assume the victims of an opera-house massacre would not have scrambled to find the nearest exit.

To understand how a community works, we need to look at the Human Condition: "the characteristics, key events, and situations essential to human existence." Examples are: broadband speed, fashion, drama, perceived individuality and whether a smoker or non-smoker. The Human Condition is very broad (more so in American ballparks), and is pondered and analyzed from perspectives including philosophy, art, sociology, ethnic cleansers, and despots.

As a literary term, "the Human Condition" is typically used in the context of ambiguous subjects, such as what is the right hair color. Once the literature is bought by Hollywood, the Human Condition is subordinate to conditioner, and then hair color including metal-flaking. The Human Condition describes the moral compass heading that keeps the individual from being lost in a crowd professing to have the identical compass heading. A community is a social unit of any size that shares these common values, or at least pretends to in public. (more...)

Recently featured: Community

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Did you know...
*...that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
  • ...about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?
Word of the Day
knife
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
Fiorina behind Cruz.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election
On this day...
Hitlerbaby

April 30: Obscure Pop Cultural Reference Day

  • 1026 - The first casualty in the on-going Pirate-Ninja War of the Ages occurs.
  • 1794 - The Battle of Cat Boulou is fought. The French actually win one.
  • 1889 - Hitler rises.
  • 1945 - Hitler falls.
  • 1959 - Grandpa drops a mento into his glass of coke. Huge catastrophe occurs.
  • 1962 - Four legs found to be good, with two legs considered less favourably.
  • 1969 - Vietnam Vets declare "You weren't there man!" for the first time.
  • 1989 - Some proles invent "New Wave of Ingsoc Heavy Metal" Minitrue approved , with BB. , doubleplusgood.
  • 1997 - I for one welcomed our insect overlords.
  • 2001 - HAL declares "I'm sorry, Dave, but I cannot touch this."
  • 2005 - Frank Joseph Snape gets away with the murder of ex-girlfriend Debbie Dumbledore, despite the fact that everybody already knew about it.
  • 2010 - '1001 things to do with a flaming appendage' ousts the bible as the most famous and successful book of all time.
  • 2019 - Road Rules Mars begins broadcasting, MTV immediately cancels the series after all participants including filming crew are killed by an asteroid.
  • 2056 - Harry Potter dies after a long battle with imaginary herpes!
Today's featured picture
Hand grenade

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Photo credit: Mosquitopsu
Archive - Nominate new image

Recent Articles
RustyIronMan.jpg

Clash of the Titans | Cesar Millan | Prince | White Knight | Ironman Triathlon (pictured) | Travesty | Theseus | Richard Simmons | Trujillo, Peru | Throwball | WONE radio | Iquitos, Peru (from Inciclopedia) | Helmsley | Keighley | Skipton | Calais | Super-delegate | Winners of the 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl: Shredded wheat | Malcolm Turnbull | Secret | Kodak | William Shatner | Atlantic Ocean | Jim Gilmore | Marco Rubio | Slovakia | Nudibranch | Hera | George Mason U. | HowTo:Survive a terrorist attack | Pornography (rw)


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...


Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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