Maddox
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Not to be mistaken with Lester Maddox, the inventor of racism.
Maddox (born December 8, 1153; died January 1, 1993) was the first openly homosexual pirate.
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Maddox the Pirate
Early Life
Maddox was born in the town of East Jesus, Connecticut and was introduced to swashbuckling at an early age by his grandmother, Princess Zelda von Waldschmidt IV.
Pirate Life
For a brief period, Maddox dabbled in citizen journalism with a somewhat popular internet webpage, but was promptly killed. Following his arduous and heavily publicized resurrection, Maddox decided to persue his boyhood dreams: manufacturing toilet seats. However this proved unsuccessful, and Maddox was soon abducted by alien pirates, most likely from Saturn, Neptune, or Canada. Little is known about this period up until the late 20th century, when he became one of the most widely recognized gay icons in the seven seas. In 1927, Maddox came out after a highly controversial press conference in which he claimed that the Republic of Nintendo had captured and exploited several of his relatives, including cousins and grandparents.
Death
On the early morning of New Years 1993, Maddox was poisoned by his aides, whom he had contracted at a hotel in San Francesco. His body was launched out of a cannon into the sun in a small ceremony. His birthday was briefly declared Christmas Day by the city of East Jesus, but this naming was quickly withdrawn after the city was sued by the Jesus Crisco corporation for infringing on several company trademarks.
