John Scherer

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Shortly after the dismissal of this lawsuit, Scherer successfully sued himself for defamation of character, arguing that his wrinkled, decrepit appearance would negatively impact his sales. As a consequence of this lawsuit, Scherer is no longer legally allowed to reflect light, which causes him to appear at all times as negative space.
 
Shortly after the dismissal of this lawsuit, Scherer successfully sued himself for defamation of character, arguing that his wrinkled, decrepit appearance would negatively impact his sales. As a consequence of this lawsuit, Scherer is no longer legally allowed to reflect light, which causes him to appear at all times as negative space.
   
==Exterior Links==
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==Conflict with Uncyclopedia==
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On the 10th of December, 2008, John Scherer's attorney emailed Uncyclopedia '''[[John_Scherer/Outrage!|this letter]]''' requesting the immediate removal of the page you are currently reading. Among the complaints were suggestions that this article constitutes libel and harms Mr. Scherer's character. On the contrary, we at Uncyclopedia would just like to say that John Scherer is a great guy who is known for his unblemished integrity and his inability to do anything immoral, ever, especially not screwing over any customers or cheating people out of their hard-earned money or anything like that, ever. At all. Ever. Also complained about was Uncyclopedia's use of Scherer's trademarked slogan "TRY MY PRODUCT". Naturally, we would never use a trademarked slogan like TRY MY PRODUCT that we knew was trademarked, like TRY MY PRODUCT is, and would like to say that we will never say TRY MY PRODUCT again, no matter how much we really really want someone to TRY MY PRODUCT, or even if we feel the urge to just compulsively yell TRY MY PRODUCT at passerby on the street, because now we know that TRY MY PRODUCT is trademarked, and we'd hate to infringe on a trademark like TRY MY PRODUCT, so we'll stop saying TRY MY PRODUCT right now, we promise.
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==External Links==
 
{{wikipedia}}
 
{{wikipedia}}
   

Revision as of 23:43, December 15, 2008

File:09-06 Gilligan.jpg
“Try my product!”
~ John Scherer on his semen

John W. Scherer, known commonly as The Video Professor from his television advertisements, was born in St. Charles, Illinois, and raised in Geneva, Illinois. From an early age, John knew he was special, and he was driven to push the boundaries of repression and sexual denial that pervaded American society in the early 1950's. This liberal spirit and a fierce appetite for all things risqué led John to embark upon his riskiest business venture in 1987 with the launch of Video Professor Inc, a mail-order sexual literature company.

A "Bold Venture"

While the idea of starting a mail-order sex store was not revolutionary in and of itself, what was revolutionary is, A) The earliest films (Video Professor 1 through 7) were released on 5¼" floppy disk, the earliest known form of computer pornography, and B) that Scherer himself starred in the majority of the sex scenes. At an already advanced age by that point, he had found his niche as an aged adult porn star in control of his own image and material, a successful business strategy.

Leisuresuitlarry

Screen capture from the 1988 floppy disk porn release, Video Professor 3: Final Exam

His most popular character, and the title of the series, lended itself to Scherer's advanced age - The "Professor" character was born. Since the inception of the series, Scherer has obtained several other aged former stars like Henry Winkler, Mickey Rooney, and Wilford Brimley to guest star as visiting professors on his straight-to-video releases.

At first, John W. Scherer’s Video Professor series was sold only at trade shows and in adult stores, but the videotapes were getting noticed and the demand for John’s revolutionary Video Professor materials was building to climax. So in 1991, John decided to produce an infomercial — a decision that resulted in a consumer frenzy for his already popular product.

"Product"

Black

The Video Professor, pictured here engaging in his favourite pastime - filing lawsuits.

Finding the American market extremely gullible and hungry for all things Scherer, John took his most ambitious undertaking of all - marketing his own semen as an aphrodisiac. In his own terms, John "became a man on a mission"[1]. FCC regulations forbade that he mention the word "semen" directly on the air, a decision that led Scherer to coin the euphemism that pervades all Video Professor commercials: "Try my product!".

In 2007, a minor controversy arose when Tom Cruise described Scherer's "product" as "unacceptably salty," citing, as a possible explanation, the fact that Scherer is rarely seen without a tin of sardines. In response, Scherer filed several defamation of character lawsuits against Cruise, citing diminishment of reputation and emotional distress, and demanding either seven million U.S. dollars ($7,000,000), or, alternatively, a lifetime supply of sardines.

Shortly after the dismissal of this lawsuit, Scherer successfully sued himself for defamation of character, arguing that his wrinkled, decrepit appearance would negatively impact his sales. As a consequence of this lawsuit, Scherer is no longer legally allowed to reflect light, which causes him to appear at all times as negative space.

Conflict with Uncyclopedia

On the 10th of December, 2008, John Scherer's attorney emailed Uncyclopedia this letter requesting the immediate removal of the page you are currently reading. Among the complaints were suggestions that this article constitutes libel and harms Mr. Scherer's character. On the contrary, we at Uncyclopedia would just like to say that John Scherer is a great guy who is known for his unblemished integrity and his inability to do anything immoral, ever, especially not screwing over any customers or cheating people out of their hard-earned money or anything like that, ever. At all. Ever. Also complained about was Uncyclopedia's use of Scherer's trademarked slogan "TRY MY PRODUCT". Naturally, we would never use a trademarked slogan like TRY MY PRODUCT that we knew was trademarked, like TRY MY PRODUCT is, and would like to say that we will never say TRY MY PRODUCT again, no matter how much we really really want someone to TRY MY PRODUCT, or even if we feel the urge to just compulsively yell TRY MY PRODUCT at passerby on the street, because now we know that TRY MY PRODUCT is trademarked, and we'd hate to infringe on a trademark like TRY MY PRODUCT, so we'll stop saying TRY MY PRODUCT right now, we promise.

External Links

Bouncywikilogo7
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about John Scherer.

John's Adult YouTube Channel

John's Dirty-Pic Flickr site

Footnotes

  1. John W. Scherer - Executive Biography
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