International Monetary Fund

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The '''International Monetary Fund''' or '''IMF''' is the collective name given to the pool of financial aid donated by and received by member countries worldwide. The actual fund itself is located 300 meters under Wrexham, [[Wales]], and is only accessible by drill.
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[[File:IMF beneficiaries.PNG|thumb|300px|right|The principal beneficiaries of IMF activity highlighted in green.]]
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The '''International Monetary Fund''' (commonly known as the '''IMF''', the '''International Mafia Force''' and the '''Immoral Mother Fuckers''') is the American run international [[Mafia|organisation]] that oversees the [[world|global]] [[Capitalism|financial system]].
   
==IMF Projects==
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== History ==
The IMF has been involved in a number of controversial projects during its life, far outweighing the number of sensible ideas with which it has been involved. It is also a supporter of [[Stealing|free trade]].
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The IMF was set up in [[Washington DC]] in 1944 as a means of destroying global financial stability and forcing poor countries into a position of permanent indebtedness by handing out [[mortgage]]s on a national scale with ultra right wing preconditions, such handing over all of their valuable assets to rich westerners and increasing poverty, malnutrition, illiteracy and unemployment.
   
The Chief Groveler (CG) of the IMF is appointed bi-annually by the U.S. President.
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== Organisation and purpose ==
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[[File:IMF dictatorships.PNG|thumb|300px|IMF funds have been used to prop up [[Dictatorship|military dictatorships]] across the World since the 1970s.]]
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The IMF receives funds from member states which are then redistributed in order to promote the interests of the [[USA]] and the [[Capitalism|cabal of international spivs]].
   
===Dutch Pasta Crash===
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There are two main purposes to the IMF, the first being to force countries to hand out their national assets to the [[capitalism|cabal of international spivs]]. The second main purpose is to support the American [[Unfairness|war on fairness]] by providing funds to American supported [[Dictatorship|military dictatorships]] around the world.
In [[1977]], €3.3m was spent on the recovery of the [[Netherlands|Dutch]] "lasagne exchange", after North European [[pasta]] prices bottomed out and hit an all-time low, resulting in people resorting to eating pasta due to its low trading value.
 
   
Instead of increasing the value of the pasta, the IMF's aid money was spent on [[Tomato]] and Marscapone sauce, making it far more digestible to those who were eating it. The Dutch economy never properly recovered from this catastrophe, and the pasta industry in [[Benelux]] as a whole is now almost non-existent - two more reasons why IMF stands for Insurrection, Misery and Famine.
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The IMF have supported evil undemocratic regimes all over the world, their main areas of activity since the 1970s have been Latin America, Africa and South East Asia.
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== Asset stripping ==
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The IMF put a number of “conditionalities” on their loans, these include:
   
===Axis of Evil Involvement===
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*'''Structural Adjustment Programs''': The IMF always enforces a set of structural adjustment programmes designed to increase the profits of the [[Capitalist|cabal of international spivs]] by massively increasing levels of poverty in the recipient countries.
The IMF was involved in financing an elaborate plot in [[1996]] to tilt the Earth to a more "evil" axis of rotation. The result of this action would be that [[Norway]] would be moved to a warmer climate, and [[Rome]], [[Italy]] would become one of the poles, resulting in a large amount of snow, and possibly penguins if things went to plan.
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*'''Privatisation''': The IMF loves to force recipient countries to hand over all of their profitable assets to the [[Capitalist|spivs]].
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*'''Austerity measures''': The IMF likes to force countries to reduce spending on wasteful activities like providing healthcare, education, welfare and pensions.
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*'''Reduction of Spiv Taxes''': The IMF enjoys nothing more than forcing recipient countries to reduce corporation tax to increase the profits for their [[Capitalist|spivvy]] mates.
   
A giant machine, costing &yen;3.98x10<sup>432</sup> was funded 60% by the IMF in order to spin the world in a different direction. This scheme was discovered to be useless after the physics of [[angular momentum]] made their plan utter rubbish. Another machine was built to move the sun instead, but this was noticed when the bottom of the fund pit became exposed through lack of money and secret tunnels were spotted. Both the machines created and the president of the IMF at the time, William P. Crablocks were melted down into [[iron]].
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== Argentina case study ==
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[[File:Carlos Menem.jpg|thumb|left|200px|[[Argentina|Argentine]] President Innombrable Menem won praise from the IMF and their [[Capitalist|spivvy mates]] but eventually caused the bankruptcy of the whole country in 2001.]]
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In the 1990s [[Argentina]] was lauded for their strict adherence to IMF Policy and described by the IMF themselves as a “model country” due to President Innombrable Menem’s privatisation of everything, reduction of spending on healthcare, education and security, the reduction of [[Capitalist|spiv tax]], and the rising levels of poverty and unemployment.
   
===Pakulu Islands Development Plan===
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In 2001 the Argentine economy collapsed completely, resulting in the biggest default in international financial history. Instead of admitting that their [[Insanity|barkingly]] [[right wing]] economic policies had knackered Argentina completely and should be rethought the IMF continued with exactly the same policies resulting in the [[Credit Crunch|2008 global financial meltdown]] and the [[Greece|bankruptcy of Greece]] in 2010.
   
One aspect of the IMF's 1988 Southeast Asian Global Goods Yearly (SAGGY) plan called for the industrialization of several U.S. administered territories in the North Pacific Ocean area. The tiny island nation of Pakulu, just south of Micronesia, was selected as a test case for the plan.
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==Sister orginisations==
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The IMF is affiliated with the [[World Bank]] because both employ arrogant, overpaid technocrats who don't pay taxes on their outrageous incomes.
   
Under SAGGY, a $166m loan was given to the island's administraion on the condition that Pakulu discontinue cultivation of their traditional crops and a massive tealight factory be built with the IMF money. Without their farms the destitute Pakuluans had no choice but to flood into Utop, the island's capital and only city. There the newly minted 'Utopians' were trained and put to work in the gigantic factory.
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The [[World Trade Organisation]] are another partner in the '''Bretton Woods institutions''' designed to force the majority of the World population into desperate poverty in order to enrich the economic elite of [[Capitalist|spivs]], [[toffs]], [[bankers]] and [[gamblers|traders]].
   
Unfortunately, the entire working population of Pakulu was insufficent to staff the newly built factory. "Guest workers" from Iceland were brought in to make up the difference under a WTO inspired worker relocation scheme, but cultural differences soon created friction between Pakuluans and Icelanders.
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It is also closely involved with the activites of the [[CIA]], always turning up to provide funds to the CIA's newly installed military dictatorships across South America, South East Asia and Africa.
   
Other minor problems began to crop up.
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{{Wikipediapar|International Monetary Fund}}
 
Factory wages were set at 19 "Lulus" / Hr., the equivalent of 5 cents American. Under the manditory 14 hour work day / 6 day work week scheme, a Utopian's gross wages were $5.20 / week which, according to one report, the IMF considered "...perhaps a tad too generous". However, since under the IMF mandate Pakulu was forced to import food from Uruguay, the minimum subsitance cost of food was now $17.65 / week.
 
 
After six months in operation it was found that Mikey Fong, Inc., the company contracted to build and run the factory, had used non-standard (ie: radioactive) materials in their wax extruding machines, causing many workers to miss their shifts on account of death. Further, it was discovered that MFI had built the factory foundations with a mixture of concrete, Plaster of Paris and guar gum. This caused instabilities that lead to the severe injury of several Icelanders from an out-of-control 'plastic thwapping' machine.
 
 
In 1989 the bottom dropped out of the international tealight market, but by then MFI was already in the process of moving their entire operation to China. Meanwhile, Utopian / Icelander friction had burgeoned into what was later called "The Great Tealight Riots of '89". By the end of the year, the Pakuluan's U.S. administration was in debt to the World Bank to the tune of $1.6bn.
 
 
However, in a stroke of good fortune, the administration found its debt cancelled since the entire native Pakuluan population were declaired to be in a state of "permanent default" (ie: they were dead). SAGGY was declaired a fantastic economic success, having generated an estimated $3.8bn in profit for the various international corporations who took part in the scheme.
 
 
==Sister Organizations==
 
 
The IMF is affiliated with the [[World Bank]], because both employ arrogant, overpaid technocrats who don't pay taxes on their outrageous incomes.
 
   
 
{{NWO}}
 
{{NWO}}
   
[[Category: Economics]] [[Category:Conspiracies]] [[Category:Secret Societies]]
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[[Category: Economics]]
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[[Category:Conspiracies]]
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[[Category:Secret Societies]]
   
 
[[pt:Fundo Monetário Internacional]]
 
[[pt:Fundo Monetário Internacional]]

Revision as of 13:10, May 9, 2010

IMF beneficiaries

The principal beneficiaries of IMF activity highlighted in green.

The International Monetary Fund (commonly known as the IMF, the International Mafia Force and the Immoral Mother Fuckers) is the American run international organisation that oversees the global financial system.

History

The IMF was set up in Washington DC in 1944 as a means of destroying global financial stability and forcing poor countries into a position of permanent indebtedness by handing out mortgages on a national scale with ultra right wing preconditions, such handing over all of their valuable assets to rich westerners and increasing poverty, malnutrition, illiteracy and unemployment.

Organisation and purpose

IMF dictatorships

IMF funds have been used to prop up military dictatorships across the World since the 1970s.

The IMF receives funds from member states which are then redistributed in order to promote the interests of the USA and the cabal of international spivs.

There are two main purposes to the IMF, the first being to force countries to hand out their national assets to the cabal of international spivs. The second main purpose is to support the American war on fairness by providing funds to American supported military dictatorships around the world.

The IMF have supported evil undemocratic regimes all over the world, their main areas of activity since the 1970s have been Latin America, Africa and South East Asia.

Asset stripping

The IMF put a number of “conditionalities” on their loans, these include:

  • Structural Adjustment Programs: The IMF always enforces a set of structural adjustment programmes designed to increase the profits of the cabal of international spivs by massively increasing levels of poverty in the recipient countries.
  • Privatisation: The IMF loves to force recipient countries to hand over all of their profitable assets to the spivs.
  • Austerity measures: The IMF likes to force countries to reduce spending on wasteful activities like providing healthcare, education, welfare and pensions.
  • Reduction of Spiv Taxes: The IMF enjoys nothing more than forcing recipient countries to reduce corporation tax to increase the profits for their spivvy mates.

Argentina case study

Carlos Menem

Argentine President Innombrable Menem won praise from the IMF and their spivvy mates but eventually caused the bankruptcy of the whole country in 2001.

In the 1990s Argentina was lauded for their strict adherence to IMF Policy and described by the IMF themselves as a “model country” due to President Innombrable Menem’s privatisation of everything, reduction of spending on healthcare, education and security, the reduction of spiv tax, and the rising levels of poverty and unemployment.

In 2001 the Argentine economy collapsed completely, resulting in the biggest default in international financial history. Instead of admitting that their barkingly right wing economic policies had knackered Argentina completely and should be rethought the IMF continued with exactly the same policies resulting in the 2008 global financial meltdown and the bankruptcy of Greece in 2010.

Sister orginisations

The IMF is affiliated with the World Bank because both employ arrogant, overpaid technocrats who don't pay taxes on their outrageous incomes.

The World Trade Organisation are another partner in the Bretton Woods institutions designed to force the majority of the World population into desperate poverty in order to enrich the economic elite of spivs, toffs, bankers and traders.

It is also closely involved with the activites of the CIA, always turning up to provide funds to the CIA's newly installed military dictatorships across South America, South East Asia and Africa.

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